Can Anyone make up a joke about the wheel of time?

[Augie Bella - Member]

Well, seeing as i've heard the worst jokes on the planet and some very lame ones that are funny, can anyone make up a joke that is actually funny about WOT? WOT comics have done it, but that's all i could find. So i want to hear some of the jokes you came up with. :P

[cannon - Member]

The best one I ever heard went something like this:

 

Across the mudflats of Carolina there rose a wind. The wind was not the beginning. There are neither beginnings nor endings to the Wheel of Time. Sweet Jesus, there's no f**king end to the Wheel of Time...

 

(It was funnier around books 8-10)

[Draven - Member]

The best one I ever heard went something like this:

 

Across the mudflats of Carolina there rose a wind. The wind was not the beginning. There are neither beginnings nor endings to the Wheel of Time. Sweet Jesus' date=' there's no f**king end to the Wheel of Time...

 

(It was funnier around books 8-10)[/quote']

 

I have been thinking the EXACT same thing, but refrained from posting it. It's good someone said it, though. :D

[Arath Faringal - Member]

A tinker, a fade, and a whitecloak walk into a bar . . .

 

I get about that far and go brain dead.

[Red_count - Member]

Hey what about this one:

What is a blonde with three braincells?

~Elayne-pregnant with Rand`s twins!

:D

[RobertAlexWillis - Member]

What do you call a brunette between two blondes?

 

 

Min.

[Taishar Manetheren - Member]

why Min?

[Red_count - Member]

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[Lopar - Member]

I would make up a joke but I just don't seem to understand Aiel humor...

[RobertAlexWillis - Member]

why Min?

 

 

Elayne (blonde) -- Min (brunette) -- Aviendha (blonde)

 

 

Get it now? Its not terribly funny, I know ...

[Bob T Dwarf - Member]

Technically, I think Aviendha is a redhead.

 

Rand seems to have snagged one of each.

[RobertAlexWillis - Member]

Well, both Elayne and Aviendha are described from time to time with "reddish" or "red-gold", but the joke is only funny (to me) as a blonde joke, and they're close enough I figured I could bend it. It comes from the blonde joke "What do you call a brunette between two blondes? An interpreter."

 

Anyway, I'm gonna go talk to the guy pulling me off-stage with this shepherd's crook here ...

[Sila Darklover - Member]

A tinker' date=' a fade, and a whitecloak walk into a bar . . .

 

I get about that far and go brain dead.[/quote']

 

...The whitecloak and Tinker get drunk and both start preaching as loud as possible, while the Fade flirts with a barmaid. Soon the Tinker gets so angry with the Whitecloak for yelling "Kill Darkfriends!!!" over and over that he runs at him with raised fists, then stops and yells "I would hit you if I could!". The Whitecloak yells "You threaten me! You must be a Darkfriend!!" and beheads the Tinker, then passes out and falls on his own sword. The barmaid cooks them both and shares them with the Fade, then they elope.

 

Mwahahaha. :twisted:

[caitlinsucks - Member]

The best one I ever heard went something like this:

 

Across the mudflats of Carolina there rose a wind. The wind was not the beginning. There are neither beginnings nor endings to the Wheel of Time. Sweet Jesus' date=' there's no f**king end to the Wheel of Time...

 

(It was funnier around books 8-10)[/quote']

 

At first glance I thought that was going to become a fart joke. :P

[DemandredFO - Member]

I'll complete the tinker, fade, whitecloak joke. A tinker, a fade and a whitecloak walk into a bar. The fade doesn't duck and the tinker tries to fix it. I know lame but best I could do right now

[RobertAlexWillis - Member]

A tinker, a fade and a whitecloak walk into a bar. Mat jumps up and says "What is this, a flaming joke?!"

[Machin Shin - Member]

wat did one wise woman robot say to to the other?

'aiel be back'

[Bobster - Member]

I consider the majority of Mat's quotes as a joke.

[SBoydW - Member]

wat did one wise woman robot say to to the other?

'aiel be back'

 

Boooo! :P Just joking.

 

That's the first one that made me laugh a little.

 

Wish I had a joke...

[Tea with the Dark One - Member]

An irascible old farmer named Hu discovered one morning that his best rooster had flown into a tall tree beside his farm pond and wouldn't come down . . .

[Tea with the Dark One - Member]

Two Raken and a Grolm were hanging out around the paddock. One Raken says to the other Raken, "You know, I didn't think I was going to clear the trees on that last takeoff. I thought for sure I was a gonner, but then I felt this sharp pain in my hind-quarters and it really spurred me on; I mean I put on that little bit of extra juice and just cleared 'em."

 

The other Raken says, "You know, the same thing happened to me the other day. I was pretty tired and was heading down to a clearing to take a rest, but I got that sharp pain in my butt and it inspired me to keep pushing to the landing zone."

 

On hearing this, the Grolm pitches in, "You know, I was out eating some rebel Taraboners a couple weeks ago and I was getting kinda full and wanted to take a nap, but then I got that same kind of sharp pain in my rear and I figured I better keep eating more people. That's just strange."

 

The first Raken looks at the second and says, "Imagine that, a talking Grolm."

[Leopoled Boothe - Member]

Q: What does as man wearing a veil get when he sees a hot woman?

 

A: A Tara boner. :twisted:

 

 

Q: How many Aes Sedai does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

 

A: Just one, she holds up the lightbulb and the world revolves around her.

 

Stepper, Stayer and Pips walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender walks up and says, "Hey guys why the long faces?"

 

Q: Why did Lanfear fall asleep while drilling a hole in the Dark One's prison?

 

A: Because it was a bore.

 

Q: There is one gold crown sitting in the middle of an intersection. On each of the four corners are a Fat Inn Keeper, a Slim Inn Keeper, an Aes Sedai of the Purple Ajah and Santa Claus. Who gets to the gold crown first?

 

A: The Fat Inn Keeper, the other three don't exist.

 

 

Q: And what intersection was it?

 

A: Why the Crossroads of Twilight of course.

[slayerA - Member]

Some of these are morbid, so you might want to skip them. You have been warned...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Did you hear about Mat's new line of shirts?

They hang loose but are tight around the neck.

 

Asha'man 1,"Hey you see those Aiel had blue eyes?

Asha'man 2,"Yeah, one blew this way and one blew that way"

 

Asha'man 1,"You see that that Aiel had dandruff?"

Asha'man 2,"No?"

Asha'man 1,"See, here is his Head and Shoulders"

 

What did the Questioner say to the other Questioner?

"I think we're going to making killing in this business"

 

Two Rivers, where the men are men and the sheep are nervous.

 

Rand says, "Here, let me give you a hand."

 

At the academy: "I hear this job is really stressful?"

"Yeah, Master Fell went to pieces."

 

How come the bull like Trolloc hated the other Trollocs?

They keep tipping him when he was asleep.

 

One Fade to other Fade, "Long time, so see."

 

An Aiel to the wetlander,"...yeah, but it's a dry heat"

 

When Mat blows, everyone comes.

 

 

Ok, ok, I am done.

[Lady Saravhem - Member]

Once long ago I found a site of WoT come on lines and such here are some that I remember.

Come on Lines

Rand: How would you like to see my sword that's not a sword?

 

Matt: You know I'm pretty good with the Old Tongue.

 

Min: I can see you and me hooking up.

 

Suian: How would you like to swim upstream like salamon and spawn.

 

Bumper Stickers

Darkfriend onboard.

 

Have you Hugged your Trolloc?

 

Hey your trolloc ate my accepted!

 

Warders do it in bondage!

 

And 2 lightbulb jokes

 

How many red ajah does it take to change a lightbulb? 3 one to change it and 2 to curse men for not making to last longer.

 

How many brown ajah does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them because they would have to meet debate and show evidence that lightbulb was really burned.

 

 

Cheesey I know but that's all I've got.

 

 

I'm outta here! :D

[Guest Fire Lord - Guests]

There's this joke I saw on Wotmania: How many Aiel does it take to fix a lightbulb? None, they earn more ji by stumbling around in the dark.