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Moment that made you LOL


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Mat's letter to Elayne in Towers of Midnight was one of the funniest things I've ever read.

 

I literally had to put the book down until I could stop laughing... then I read that part again.

 

It wasn't just that it was funny, it's the fact that Brandon wrote it out like Mat would have. Made it 10000000000 times better.

 

 

Your Royal Bloody Pain in My Back,

 

We're bloody waiting here to talk to you, and we're getting angry perturbed. (That means angry.) Thom says that you're a queen now, but I figure that changes nothing, sense you acted like a queen all the time anyway. Don't forget that I carried hailed your pretty little backside out of a hole in Tear, but you acted like a queen then, so I guess I don't know why I'm suprised now that you act like one when you really are a queen.

 

So I'm thinking I should treat you like a bloody Queen and send you a bloody letter and all, speaking with high talk and getting your attention. I even used my ring as a signet, like it was paper proper. So here is my formal salutation. So BLOODY STOP TURNING ME AWAY so we can talk. I need your bellfounders. It's bloody important.

 

—Mat

 

p.s. Salutation means greeting.

 

p.p.s. Don't mind the scratched out words and bad spellings. I was going to rewrite this letter, but Thom is laffing so hard at me that I want to be done.

 

p.p.s. Don't mind me calling your backside pretty. I hardly ever spent any time looking at it, as I've an awareness that you'd pull my eyes out if you saw me. Besides, I'm married now, so that all doesn't matter.

 

That's one of the worst parts in TOM

 

It was sanderson trying too hard at being funny and failing at that epically. He just cannot write mat properly.

 

 

I think the last time i truly laughed was in book 6. When berelain was hunting perrin in the corridors at night

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Opinion's definitely split on that letter, isn't it! Myself, I think it was hilarious, but that's JMO.

 

Here's a bit of vintage Mat..

 

...Mat recognized him, Surlivan Sarat, a good fellow, always ready with a quip and possessing a fine eye for horses. Shaking his head, Surlivan tapped the side of his pointed helmet with the thin, gilded rod of his office. “Have you been in another fight, my Lord? She will go up like a waterspout, when she sees you.”

 

Squaring his shoulders, and trying not to lean so obviously on his staff, Mat bristled. Ready with a quip? Come to think on it, the sun-dark man had a tongue like a rasp. And his eye for horses was not all that fine, either.

Edited by FarShainMael
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Mat's letter was gold.

 

I also laughed at Min rolling her daggers out and being like "i am badass" and avideniha being like *doesnt she realise that i could just take those daggers away from her? but i could not shame her to point it out*

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Re : "You accidentally married the Seanchan Empress?"

 

That's one of my favourites, it was in my sig for a while!

 

I remember that - when I finally got to that part of the book after seeing it in your sig, I cracked up :D

 

:biggrin:

 

I couldn't put who had said it in my sig, of course - that would have been a serious spoiler!

Edited by FarShainMael
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In Lord of Chaos "As Rand reached 20, aiel began bounding into the courtyard, hurtling through windows leaping down from balconies." i could only imagine haha just watching aiel leap from windows fully veiled and everything i'm doing i reread and when i came upon this i started cracking up. then i remembered this thread haha.

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Mat's letter to Elayne in Towers of Midnight was one of the funniest things I've ever read.

 

I literally had to put the book down until I could stop laughing... then I read that part again.

 

It wasn't just that it was funny, it's the fact that Brandon wrote it out like Mat would have. Made it 10000000000 times better.

 

 

Your Royal Bloody Pain in My Back,

 

We're bloody waiting here to talk to you, and we're getting angry perturbed. (That means angry.) Thom says that you're a queen now, but I figure that changes nothing, sense you acted like a queen all the time anyway. Don't forget that I carried hailed your pretty little backside out of a hole in Tear, but you acted like a queen then, so I guess I don't know why I'm suprised now that you act like one when you really are a queen.

 

So I'm thinking I should treat you like a bloody Queen and send you a bloody letter and all, speaking with high talk and getting your attention. I even used my ring as a signet, like it was paper proper. So here is my formal salutation. So BLOODY STOP TURNING ME AWAY so we can talk. I need your bellfounders. It's bloody important.

 

—Mat

 

p.s. Salutation means greeting.

 

p.p.s. Don't mind the scratched out words and bad spellings. I was going to rewrite this letter, but Thom is laffing so hard at me that I want to be done.

 

p.p.s. Don't mind me calling your backside pretty. I hardly ever spent any time looking at it, as I've an awareness that you'd pull my eyes out if you saw me. Besides, I'm married now, so that all doesn't matter.

 

haha its the p.p.s. that gets me haha

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Mat and Birgitte in Towers of Midnight:

 

... Mat said quickly. "But, see, there's this issue."

 

"What issue?" [birgitte]

 

"The Tower of Ghenjei." [Mat]

 

"That's not an issue," she said. "You stay away from it." [birgitte]

 

"I can't." [Mat]

 

"Of course you can. It's a flaming building, Mat. It can't exactly chase you down."

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Mat's letter to Elayne in Towers of Midnight was one of the funniest things I've ever read.

 

I literally had to put the book down until I could stop laughing... then I read that part again.

 

It wasn't just that it was funny, it's the fact that Brandon wrote it out like Mat would have. Made it 10000000000 times better.

 

 

Your Royal Bloody Pain in My Back,

 

We're bloody waiting here to talk to you, and we're getting angry perturbed. (That means angry.) Thom says that you're a queen now, but I figure that changes nothing, sense you acted like a queen all the time anyway. Don't forget that I carried hailed your pretty little backside out of a hole in Tear, but you acted like a queen then, so I guess I don't know why I'm suprised now that you act like one when you really are a queen.

 

So I'm thinking I should treat you like a bloody Queen and send you a bloody letter and all, speaking with high talk and getting your attention. I even used my ring as a signet, like it was paper proper. So here is my formal salutation. So BLOODY STOP TURNING ME AWAY so we can talk. I need your bellfounders. It's bloody important.

 

—Mat

 

p.s. Salutation means greeting.

 

p.p.s. Don't mind the scratched out words and bad spellings. I was going to rewrite this letter, but Thom is laffing so hard at me that I want to be done.

 

p.p.s. Don't mind me calling your backside pretty. I hardly ever spent any time looking at it, as I've an awareness that you'd pull my eyes out if you saw me. Besides, I'm married now, so that all doesn't matter.

 

That's one of the worst parts in TOM

 

It was sanderson trying too hard at being funny and failing at that epically. He just cannot write mat properly.

 

 

I think the last time i truly laughed was in book 6. When berelain was hunting perrin in the corridors at night

 

Ditto, the letter was just terrible. That and the Seven Striped Lass were easily the worst parts in the entire series. The letter cemented the fact that this type of character is just too foreign for BS to write properly. For an author of his caliber he should never have to resort to this type of cheap trick, lowest common denominator, forced writing. It literally ripped me right out of the story.

Edited by Suttree
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Mat's letter to Elayne in Towers of Midnight was one of the funniest things I've ever read.

 

I literally had to put the book down until I could stop laughing... then I read that part again.

 

It wasn't just that it was funny, it's the fact that Brandon wrote it out like Mat would have. Made it 10000000000 times better.

 

That's one of the worst parts in TOM

 

It was sanderson trying too hard at being funny and failing at that epically. He just cannot write mat properly.

 

 

I think the last time i truly laughed was in book 6. When berelain was hunting perrin in the corridors at night

 

Ditto, the letter was just terrible. That and the Seven Striped Lass were easily the worst parts in the entire series. The letter cemented the fact that this type of character is just too foreign for BS to write properly. For an author of his caliber he should never have to resort to this type of cheap trick, lowest common denominator, forced writing. It literally ripped me right out of the story.

 

 

It's funny. The letter is probably the most polarising element of the recent books that I've seen. Normally with a scene, people's opinions fit onto a bell curve, With the peak of the curve ranging along the axis depending on the average rating of a scene.

 

bellcurve.PNG

 

The green curve would represent a normal well thought of scene, with a few people disliking it, a few thinking it's about the best scene in the series, and most clustered around the average rating.

 

The Letter is more like the blue curve, with a few thinking it's the worst scene in the series, a few thinking it's the best, and most people devided into one of 2 camps - love it, hate it.

 

Personally, I thought it was one of the best things I'd read in a while. It's certainly the passage of ToM that I've read most often. Of course, my opinion will be discounted by many just because I also like the Moiraine rescue in the book, and don't think that Moiraine was in any way damaged as a character by it.

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"I caught a badger. Want to let it go on the village green?"

 

I'd be really interested if this was Robert Jordan's or Brandon Sanderson's idea, but either way it was a wonderful shoutout to the original book. Not to mention, I think this may have been Mat's first line in the series (not at my house right now so I can't double check The Eye of the World to verify this).

 

Mat's final line to the Finns was an instant classic too. I loved his letter to Elayne, and even liked the elaborate cover stories he created in The Gathering Storm. I must be the only fan who really likes Sanderson's take on the character.

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"I caught a badger. Want to let it go on the village green?"

 

I'd be really interested if this was Robert Jordan's or Brandon Sanderson's idea, but either way it was a wonderful shoutout to the original book. Not to mention, I think this may have been Mat's first line in the series (not at my house right now so I can't double check The Eye of the World to verify this).

 

Mat's final line to the Finns was an instant classic too. I loved his letter to Elayne, and even liked the elaborate cover stories he created in The Gathering Storm. I must be the only fan who really likes Sanderson's take on the character.

 

This is the first scene of Mat in WoT...

A quick tug at Rand's sleeve and a voice pitched low, for his ear alone, distracted him from the older men's talk. "Come on, Rand, while they're arguing. Before they put you to work."

Rand glanced down, and had to grin. Mat Cauthon crouched beside the cart so Tam and Bran and Cenn could not see him, his wiry body contorted like a stork trying to bend itself double.

Mat's brown eyes twinkled with mischief, as usual. "Dav and I caught a big old badger, all grouchy at being pulled out of his den. We're going to let it loose on the Green and watch the girls run."

 

Not the exact wording, but basic idea was same. Love Mat's every scene in the book, from EotW to ToM. People tend to forget Mat's character went through a lot(lot different than earlier books) in last three books, it's tend to change. It might have been written little differently RJ..but as many people agree that Brandon was the best choice to complete the series.

Edited by Noal
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I have also found the letter to show a classical "trying to hard" syndrome, although I wasn't very outraged by it. I definitely agree with Suttree about The Seven Striped Lass, I was seriously worried when that chapter was released earlier than the rest of the book.Fortunately, the rest was much better.

 

I don't blame BS at all, because it seems to me nobody save RJ himself could have written Mat just right. Brandon went for some slapstick comedy, while RJ's Mat was usually funny in a less obvious, more tongue-in-cheek way. You would very rarely laugh outright when reading Mat, but you would wear a slightly amused smile almost all the time.

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I didn't think the letter was funny. It captured the spirit of Mat maybe, since he doesn't much care about acting "proper" with queens, but it made Mat seem like an idiot, with all those mispellings. It would have been more funny if BS had left out the numerous mispelled words. Just because Mat was a farmboy doesn't mean he's illiterate. His mother would have taught him his letters.

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I didn't think the letter was funny. It captured the spirit of Mat maybe, since he doesn't much care about acting "proper" with queens, but it made Mat seem like an idiot, with all those mispellings. It would have been more funny if BS had left out the numerous mispelled words. Just because Mat was a farmboy doesn't mean he's illiterate. His mother would have taught him his letters.

 

Yes, his mother/father would have taught him to read and write, but by his own admission he was never into books/studying as much as Rand and Perrin were, so I could understand bad spelling, but that being said, the blatant "errors" were over the top and made me shake my head.

Apart from the bad spelling the letter was ok, not the best but it did sound like Mat.

 

A.

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