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Bela - Trojan Style


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Stage 1



General Guideline: WT foes unite outside of the White Tower walls, surrounding it from each side and laying siege to it. The Aes Sedai soon resort to eating their Warders, the Novices and the kitchen staff.



Note: We still have to adhere to the site's pg-13 rule. Aka, nothing too gore or too sexual. Subtlety and innuendos are key ;)

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Bob potty, the greatest lambada dancer the Children of the Light have ever seen, stood just outside the WT, eying it contemptuously. He was relieved that he didn't have to spell the emotion, but just feel it. Otherwise, boy, would his face be red! But soon enough holding the expression started to hurt and so he smoothed his expression and took a deep breath, puffing his chest in a manly fashion.


He screamed to the distance. "You think you're all safe and mighty in your big white tower? Well think again, she-witches!". He shook his fist in the air, making a point. "You are going DOWN! We'll see how scary you are when you're starving. Ha! I have fruit loops and I ain't sharing!". He ate one and munched on it happily.


He looked around him at the masses. Trollocs, Tinkers, Ashaman, Wolfkin... and other fiends he would usually spit at and mock from afar. Maybe even make obscene shadow puppets too. But today they had all come together to defeat the most annoying threat of them all - The Aes Sedai! And their little lapdogs. They thought about charging the white tower at first, but they couldn't decide on who would go first so they just sat there, waiting them out. Cutting off any access to the island.


"So what are we going to do tonight, Potty?", asked Child Dufus. "Tonight", Potty answered "we're going to do the chacha!!!!".




Bob Potty

Child of the Light

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"The seasons must be getting ready to change.", Dork thought to himself as he watched seven geese flying in a "V" from south to north. The thought made him smile. That meant that spring was just around the corner. SPRING! His favorite season. No more snow. No more freezing cold. The sun would return. Even the cool spring rains would be a welcome change. A single arrow emerged from somewhere in the crowd and one of the geese plummeted toward the ground. Several trollocs hurried to intercept it. From the approximate area that the arrow had come from Dork heard, "There. Six. That's MUCH better!".


"Dorky Damascus!", came the shout from the crowd. Dorky tried to shrink out of sight until he could discover where the cry had come from. After all. There were probably some Red sisters nearby and they might not have learned yet that the source had been cleansed. Being this close to the WT made him extremely nervous. Or maybe someone thought that he was the one who had downed the goose. Yes. Caution was the best policy. He glanced slowly and carefully over his shoulder to see if he recognized anyone.


Slowly. Trying to look like he was unconcerned. Just another face in the crowd. Merely scanning to see what he could see. Not wanting to gather attention, he decided not to whistle. He headed toward the trollocs to see which one had won the prize.


(OOC: I realized that Dorky really didn't know whether that other character was inside or outside...sorry. I'm trying to learn how to RP with others on the fly.)

Edited by GrandpaG
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A sound disturbed Metilda from concentrating on her book, "I've Mastered Oil Painting on Mushrooms: And So Can You!". Frowning, Metilda pushed her glasses back up her nose and continued reading. The sound once again disturbed her.


What on earth is that rumble? The sound happened once again. Ah yes, that must be my stomach. I haven't eaten since yesterday.


Frowning some more, Metilda closed her book and made her way to the kitchens. The people she passed seemed to be scurrying alot more than normal, but she didn't really take note.


As she entered the dining hall, again she frowned. They were empty. What a shame as she was hoping to share her new-found knowledge on the best way to prep a mushroom before applying plaster. She made her way into the kitchen to consult the cook.


"Excuse me, but I would like a meal please. Wild mushroom soup? Or maybe mushroom risotto? Either would be splendid."


The cook did not respond. Frowning, Metilda pushed her glasses back up her nose and looked around the kitchen. Ah yes, the cook is not here. Now that is odd. Metilda sat on a stool, opened her book, and continued to read. The rumbling continued, but this time Metilda blocked it out.

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Tubby ran down the elaborate beautifully gilded and worked hallways of the Tower. The tapestries, ancient and moldy hung to the cold walls as candles sprung to life at her approach. Why had the Novices not set the lights today? Oh that was right... Moving right along. She ran through hallways, from the top floors of the Tower, through most common areas, and was now running full speed past the kitchens. Her long golden hair flew behind her, like a jet stream's trail, and her breasts threaten to withdraw from the small binding her dress allowed for.


She was yelling as she ran, making sure anyone close could hear. "I am going to have a vision! A foretelling! Someone come quick, everyone play witness! COME ON! Slow pokes come! The men gather outside! I call first pick!!" The last part she screamed louder, to ensure she did have first pick among them. She continued running awkwardly into the outer courtyards of the Tower, still within the safety of the Tower, her yellow and green excuse for a dress hardly holding her skin in.


She smiled, spinning around in circles, pretending to be overcome by a Foretelling. "I hope someone is near by, I am having a foretelling now!" She announces looking around hoping someone listened. "The sky will rain giant farm stock, the ground will become jello, flowers will eat people, and small children explode! Also, someone is hiding chocolate cake, I smell it!"


She finished with the last sentence opening her eyes to look for the cake hoarder. Her eyes fell on a section just over the tower's walls where a man yelled something about fruit loops. She lifted her own fist and yelled something back about not caring if he was a fruit or not. Well, she did have first pick, good thing she hadn't chosen that one.



Tububes For'chu Sedai

Of the Yellow

Edited by Amore
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(OOC: this is a new character just added today)




ToDo lowered his voice to a faint whisper. He really hoped that nobody could hear him anyway.


"I dotta be cayufoo."

"Tumbuddy gunda fine me."

"Den I be in dubble-twubble!"


To stop the last few faint noises of the pan lid hitting the floor, ToDo gently but firmly applied paw pressure to hold it tight to the white tiles. He raised up carefully to try to see over the rim of the pan that had held the lid. He worked his nose frantically searching for any hint of a scent. He scowled.





This had been one of his last real hopes for finding something to eat. Since her departure his old mistress's room had been left undisturbed. He had really hoped that she had left some morsel unattended. "Oh, rell", he sighed. He might as well mark this spot as being explored and move along. He found the leg of the bed that "MaMa" used to sleep on, held his breath against the stench, and lifted his leg to mark the spot.

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"Genius.", Dork thought to himself. "Pure genius." He stepped slightly away from the direction of the squabbling trollocs and wove a bubble of Air approximately 20 feet in diameter to clear a space around himself. It took a minute for the crowd to clear since they couldn't really tell what it was that was nudging them. Once he had plenty of space he used a special weave that made him appear larger than the trollocs and amplified his voice.


"ATTENTION ALL TROLLOCS!". He waited for them to notice him then stare in amazement.


"BACK AWAY FROM THE BIRD.". They didn't like hearing that. He created a fire ball and cocked back as if ready to let loose. He also made it appear that his eyes were on fire. Begrudgingly, the trollocs backed away from the winner who dropped the dead and partially plucked goose.


Channeling a fine thread of Air, he levitated the goose from the hoofs of the trolloc and brought it to his air bubble. He allowed the bubble and himself to shrink until he could grab the goose by the neck. He held it high for all to see and walked in a tight circle as he addressed the crowd.


"With this goose, I shall end this siege. First, I will prepare it in a nice sauce teeming with tiny bits of onion and mushroom. Then I will use Air to blow the scent toward the WT. They will not be able to resist. The smell will draw them out like moths to a flame! When they are within range, we open fire!". While he was waiting for cheers from the crowd it dawned on him that he no longer had to worry about remaining unnoticed.





(OOC: if I am breaking some rule by posting two days in a row, please let me know. Thanks.)

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Crule Rotundo could've gone out and yelled at the White Tower, but he was too busy hiding his extra-extra-extra delicious chocolate cake in one the deepest folds of fat on his body. After nestling the cake under the almost continuously jiggling flesh of his right man-boob, went back to the delicious sauce he was preparing for the night's meal.


"Tilda! Fetch a stick and roll me out of this tent! And bring me some of my chocolate cake! I know you have it! It's not in the stove I left it in!" He didn't know why that lazy good for nothing scullion kept stealing his tasty, tasty treats, but when he got the strength, he was going to beat her something awful! He reached into a fold somewhere below his waist and produced a leg of lamb, noisily crunching away at it while he waited for that slow-witted woman to get to him.


Eventually the skin and bones scullion showed up with his favorite poking stick, nice and round on one end, to roll his rotund self out the tent flaps.


"No, no, not so fast, woman! I'm going to crash into that w-" Crule plowed into a hastily-erected wall, every inch of him jiggling more than the entire wall should have been able to. Assorted treats of every sort flew into the air, landing in the hands of pleasantly surprised soliders as they did so.


"No, not my treats! I'll staaaarve without my treeeaats!" Crule wibbled and wobbled with fury as he lashed his limbs in impotent rage.

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Dorky turned to see where the sound had come from. The mud puddle behind him now contained a plate heaped into a huge mound of mashed potatoes swimming in brown gravy. He had the sad thought that it could have gone well with his cooked goose...minus the mud puddle water, of course...and chicken gravy would have been better. That thought had no more than left his head when he was thumped on the noggin by a ring of polish sausage all covered in sweat. The slime began to ooze down his forehead and he wanted to barf.


"How are we supposed to starve them out when someone is making it rain food?". He turned toward the tower and caught the glimpse of a flash of white passing by one of the windows. Shivers ran down his spine. A "logic sister". Those could be almost as dangerous as a Red. Just that quick passing sighting reminded him why he was there. He used the towel in his hands to fan the scent of the succulent goose toward the tower. His belly was full but his mouth watered anyway.

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(OOC: Yup. Another new character. :biggrin: )





Ivant rubbed his eyes and scratched his armpits. He looked around to see if anyone was in his tent. There was nobody else there so rather than holding back he let it rip. Long and loud. He grinned and itched his belly. "Enjoy life's little pleasures." went the old saying. Waking when one was ready was indeed one of those pleasures. No need to get up before you were properly rested. The newly formed odor told him that he had best get out of bed and find the latrine.


Reluctantly, he threw back the covers and shivered. It wasn't quite spring yet this far north. Maybe he should have stayed with the Seanchan where it would at least be warm by now? Nah. His fans would need him here. Tar Valon is a big city with lots of people. Maybe he could add to his fan base. He sat up and stretched. He couldn't reach the itch between his shoulders. He lay back down and wiggled on his back. Nope. He jumped up and rubbed on the center tent support pole until he thought the roof would come down. Nope. One of these days he was going to invent something for back scratching. Someday.


Twitching and twisting to try to relieve the itch, he made his way to the main tent flap and threw it open. Even with the strange cloud cover the sun made him squint. He blinked and used his hand to shade his eyes. The sun was nearly straight up over head. Must be crowding noon. Yup. Time to get up. His bladder reminded him that he needed to find that latrine. When his eyes finally were able to focus he just had to smile.


The army was still there. Right where it had been when he had caught up to them last night. Today would be special indeed. No tearing down of the tent. No packing. No hurrying. Time for breakfast. A hot supper. No dried leaves for TP. Companionship. He might even have time to PERFORM!!! He crossed his legs to keep from wetting his pants. A genuine smile of happiness formed on his face. Yes. He would really enjoy this siege.

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Mathias approached the White Tower with his bow in hand. Some of his guardsmen had volunteered to accompany him, but he turned that offer down. They had been worried for their captain, and he understood that, but what would the ladies of the city think if the Great Mathias, guard captain of Tar Valon accepted help? He would never again have evening company, that's what would happen he'd wager. NO woman wants to be the suitor of a ninny! One of his lieutenants had reported strange noises coming from the Tower though, so his men's concern did seem to have warrant.


The noises consisted of a plethora of things, it had been reported. There was the standard cries of death, not that those were anything out of the ordinary to Mathias. He WAS in the guard for the Amyrlin's sake! It was the others that perturbed him. Sobbing was heard at such audible levels that it would frighten children. What was even stranger was that the sobbing was usually accompanied by the sound that had begun to be referred to as "nomming", one of the silliest words he'd ever heard. Even more peculiar was the reports of occasional cries of passionate ecstasy. Why they were happening and what was being used to make them happen sent Mathias into a daze... until he walked face first into the Towers south gate. He shook it off, and realized it was oddly quiet from the inside. Oh well. The only thing to do was check it out.


Mathias McGrabity

the handsy Tar Valon guard captain

Edited by mcs0083
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Tula's vacant eyes stared at the servants scurrying around, her mouth working to produce some moisture in her mouth. Daman, one of her 100 Warders, walked beside her in the hall with as much as a ragged appearance to him, if somewhat more alert. What with the situation, the food rations were split to small portions for them to survive long enough until the siege could be put to a halt. But food was growing scarce and bellies refused to stop rambling. On top of that, other commodities that they would usually procure in Tar Valon were growing few and in between.


Tula kept mumbling the same thing under her breath, over and over. "Why's all the rum gone?!?". Daman hushed her gently, trying to send her reinforcing thoughts through the bond, but it didn't seem to work. No rum, no fruits, no chocolate cake! It was insane. And to top it all, she was PMSing. She needed comfort food. Or even casually friendly food. Even hostile food, just as long as she could munch on something.


She heard Daman talking to her. She could make out his voice clearly, yet all she could see was a big chunk of ham. Her mouth started watering. She came closer, touching it to make sure she wasn't dreaming, as Daman's voice kept flowing on and on. It would have seemed odd if it wasn't for her brain cells decaying ever so slowly.


She sank in her teeth, only to be jerked off by a yelp. "Tula, bloody hell!". Tula smiled grimly as she looked up at the talking ham. "Must have FOOD! FOOOOOD!!". And so began the pursuit.




Tula Mcfluzy

Green Sedai

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ToDo skidded to a silent halt as he came to the next intersection of halls. That close call earlier had made him more aware of how much noise he made. He definitely didn't want any unwelcome attention. He peered down the left hallway. "Nuffin.", he whispered to himself then sighed in relief. Then he carefully leaned slightly forward and stretched to see if it was safe down the hall to his right. "Howy Quap!", he whispered almost too loudly. He could see in the dimly lit hall a tall good looking well built man named Ham running for dear life. His name must be Ham because the woman chasing him kept calling "Ham! Ham! Come back!". ToDo was REALLY glad that he hadn't just sped around that corner without looking first! He decided to find a different route to the kennel men's room.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Dork couldn't believe how quiet it was. A major city in the middle of a siege and not a soul around. He shrugged and kept waving his towel to fan the scent of the cooking goose toward the white tower. "Guess I really WILL smoke them out single handed", he sighed to himself.

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