Elgee! Get your African butt in here!

[Mystica - Member]

I want a divorce!

 

*ticks off fingers*

 

• you can't cook
  
• you can't clean
  
• my cloths have more holes and burnmarks on them since we got married
  
• you're costing me a fortune in replacement poolboys
  
• and I'm pretty sure you used my tv as an aquarium for Kara's fishes.
  

 

't is over, girl. I have my standards!

 

[Elgee - Club Leader]

Firstly, I can too cook. Not my fault you want coffee coffee coffee all the time.

 

Secondly, do I look like someone who cleans? You knew going into this that I'm purely decora ... decara ... there to look pretty.

 

Thirdly, your clothes ... well, if you'd stop flaming grabbing the ashtray from me they'd have a lot less burn marks, that's for sure. And if you're referring to the hair iron incident ... how was I to know one uses another type of iron to iron clothes? Your scarves have never been this straight, you gotta admit.

 

Fourthly, ... where was I? Oh right the pool boys. Maybe if you'd actually gotten me a pool, I wouldn't have been so .. hard ... on the pool boys.

 

Fifthly *spits* damn that's a hard word to say. Anyway. TV? You didn't tell me that thing wasn't a Belgium Fish Mine Home Edition

 

So, in conclusion, I WANT A DIVORCE FIRST!

[Mystica - Member]

you're obsessed with fish!

 

And btw, we HAD a pool.... before you decided to use it as a 'lake for the purty fishies'!

 

Fine! Have yours first! Why stop a winning streak, right?

 

But I'm keeping the cute cook. You can have the pink one.

[Elgee - Club Leader]

you're obsessed with fish!

 

And btw, we HAD a pool.... before you decided to use it as a 'lake for the purty fishies'!

 

Fine! Have yours first! Why stop a winning streak, right?

 

But I'm keeping the cute cook. You can have the pink one.

 

Fish are cute. They don't yabber yabber yabber bullet point yabber, for one thing *hunches shoulders*.

 

And you call that thing a POOL?? It's hardly big enough to fit 3 pool boys in!

 

Oooh me first yay! *Goes to find a divorce lawyer*

 

I repeat ... there WAS no cute cook! Choice between a blonde and a blimp? Sheesh ...

I'll keep the pool boys, though. AND the fish!

[Mystica - Member]

 

Do your best, girlfriend. Mine will eat yours for breakfast!

[Elgee - Club Leader]

Yours is male too, isn't it? *sighs* ... typical men! Engaging in shenanigans and leaving the work to the women

[Auld Manriva - Member]

*A very seedy, unscrupulous, scruffy, scurrilous looking bugger (the best kind of divorce lawyer) stumbles in carrying a tattered carpet bag with what sounds to be a herd of cats a'catterwallin' in it.*

 

Someone calllllllled for a barrister?

[Torrie - Member]

I think I will have to do some acting out! My parents are getting a divorce.

 

 

 

What happen to "Till death do us part". Oh wait... No killing each other over the pool boys.

[Mystica - Member]

*waves an open bottle of rhum in the air*

 

Over here, your lawyership!!

 

 

Nono, Torrie, no death. That's way too much clean up work. But ya' gotta' admit, ya' mum is a lousy housewife. *points thumb pointedly at El Djeez*

[Mirshann Uuranor - Member]

What happen to "Till death do us part". Oh wait... No killing each other over the pool boys.

 

Actually, speaking as the one that officiated the wedding, I believe the exact vow were "Till DM8 do us part". So no divorce is even necessary.

 

I DECLARE THIS MARRIAGE ANNULLED!

*stamps and notarizes the appropriate documents*

*stamps and notarizes the inappropriate documents*

*has the entire stack of paperwork bound in a nice leather binding and files it away in the legal documents section of the library*

 

So now....Who wants a slice of cake?

 

[Minuet - Member]

I always like cake and annulment cake seems to be better then wedding cake.

[Elgee - Club Leader]

What happen to "Till death do us part". Oh wait... No killing each other over the pool boys.

 

Actually, speaking as the one that officiated the wedding, I believe the exact vow were "Till DM8 do us part". So no divorce is even necessary.

 

I DECLARE THIS MARRIAGE ANNULLED!

*stamps and notarizes the appropriate documents*

*stamps and notarizes the inappropriate documents*

*has the entire stack of paperwork bound in a nice leather binding and files it away in the legal documents section of the library*

 

So now....Who wants a slice of cake?

 

 

 

Great - now that's done, we can move right along to the court case and drawing up the post-nuptial disagreement.

 

I got MY lawyer: http://www.dragonmount.com/forums/topic/51547-the-thread-for-acting-out/page__pid__1629483#entry1629483

 

[Juan Hangslow - Member]

What happen to "Till death do us part". Oh wait... No killing each other over the pool boys.

 

Actually, speaking as the one that officiated the wedding, I believe the exact vow were "Till DM8 do us part". So no divorce is even necessary.

 

I DECLARE THIS MARRIAGE ANNULLED!

*stamps and notarizes the appropriate documents*

*stamps and notarizes the inappropriate documents*

*has the entire stack of paperwork bound in a nice leather binding and files it away in the legal documents section of the library*

 

So now....Who wants a slice of cake?

 

 

 

Holds up a hand to halt proceedings

 

Hold it!!! Your point Mirshann, whilst valid, may actually be erroneous in your assumtion that this is actually DM8... Since it isn't functioning anywhere near 100% I think it would only be fair to say that this is only DM 7.9, at best.

 

I must insist that in the best interests of my salary, and also that of the rt. hon. Mr Riva, that this sham of an annulment shall not be allowed to proceed. Shall the sanctity of marriage be sullied by such flippant disregard for the blurring of details and the skirting of laws.

 

I have studied long and hard for many years to get to where I am. 5 years of going through Law School... On my way to the pub, shall not be in vain. I INSIST on this going to trial, in search of the truth!

 

*Bellows in a random passing strangers face*

 

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!

 

Stands with arms in the air as though victorious. Victorious in what, nobody could say.

[Auld Manriva - Member]

*Lawyer Slade "Manny" Riva hears his name and honorable used in the same sentence and looks sharply about confusedly. Where, he mutters. Then he staggers to his feet*

 

I'm Objectionab.... errr.. I Object

My oversteamed collander, Counselor Hangslow, is attempting to contuse this tissue and the court Judgy-Wudgy ... Sedai. It's clear to me and everyone here that he's sqeezing the Charmin to his own devices and his detented sectional proclivities don't need to be paraded about for the innocents here to be exposing their selves to *everyone in the room looks about with hooded shifty eyes*

It's my convention that he's using double-talk, pig latin and legal-eagle tongue twisting ternamology to terrwerize and twick the thood theeple of this thourtthoom inthoo mindleth heepth o'...... *stops to untangle his tongue*

 

In all my 14 years of study at Bob's School of Law and Catering and 37 years bellied up to Bars, I've never seen nor heard of such a scurrilous mishmash of bilious bombast and perverse pomposity posing as perspicacity.

 

I rest my case yer' Judgeship...Sedai *he turns to put his ratty carpetbag, emanating sounds of cats caterwalling, on a nearby table, then wheels about unsteadily gazing bleery eyed at the Judge, his arms crossed atop his beer gut.

Edited September 28, 2010 by Auld Manriva

[Mystica - Member]

*jumps to her feet* That's right!!

 

*wilters in front of the judge's eyes and sits back down, handing a flask of rum to her lawyer under the table*

[Elgee - Club Leader]

*Also hands Myst's lawyer a jug under the table. Best South African Moonshine (aka Witblitz).*

[Auld Manriva - Member]

*Graciously accepts the flask and jug with a hardly disguised burp....

 

Why thankee m'ladies....Sedai. You realize of course I cannot in good conscience consider these "partial payment for professional purveyance of services" do you not? The rt. dis-hon Mr. Hangslow would no doubt turn me in to our Guild for acceptance of anything but hard currency for a fee. Officious git, so he is...

 

But my liver and I both thank you veddy, veddy much..

[Dahmir - Member]

*watches from the back*

 

*sniffles*

 

They were so cute together.

[Mirshann Uuranor - Member]

Meh. Whatever.

More cake for me.

 

*takes a slice of cake and sits back in her judge's chair to watch Manny and Juan bicker on their clients' behalf*

Edited September 28, 2010 by Mirshann Uuranor

[Moghedian - Member]

Do I smell cake?

*Noms*

'Sup Dahmir?

*Sits down next to him, and offers her Red Ajah Popcorn (insert TM symbol here)*

So... when did these two get married?

[Minuet - Member]

Gets piece of cake and watches the proceedings with interest.

[Auld Manriva - Member]

 

So... when did these two get married?

 

WAITAMINUTE!!!! THEY'RE MARRIED??!!! Is that legal in this State?

[Elgee - Club Leader]

In the state of DM7.9? Yep.

[Mystica - Member]

she tricked me!

 

*gets glared at by the judge, her lawyer and the leech's lawyer* um.... *sits back down again*

[Mirshann Uuranor - Member]

*isn't actually glaring at Myst*

*is glaring at the dwindling cake supply*

 

*brings more cake*