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Christine

Double Punishment (attn: Faile and Girls)

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Danian, once again, was being an idiot. And this time, she had realised the ultimate revenge. She shouldnt punish him. He was strong enough to resist against her and anything she could put him through, but it was his brother that was the soft point. Anything that happened to him, Danian tried to stop and end. She remembered the fight... Danian was fine until his brother was hurt. She had defeated him easily because of that. And that was what she would do. But she didnt really hate Dorian. Well, yes, she thought him a spoiled brat, but she also pitied him. It was Danian she hated... no, she loated him. Dorian she just really couldnt care. Ah, well, it was his own fault that Danian was his brother.

 

So here she was, five in the morning, watching the two boys sleep. Quietly, she stepped over to the Dorian and put her hand over his mouth. He sat up all startled, and she whispered into his ear, “Wake your brother, and you will regret you ever came here. Hurry up. Get some clothes on. You have to do something.†He nodded and jumped up, and she signed a piece of paper on the desk and then handed it to him as he finished. “Ok, go up to the library, and get any books that you see are on battles of the past.†He seemed in shock, and she pushed him to the door. “Don’t question me, just do it, and take it to the green ajah. Now!â€

 

He scampered out of the room, and she walked back to Danian’s bed. Throwing water onto him, he sputtered awake. “Your brother is at the library, LOOKING for something. Mess with him, and I hurt you.†Danian glared at her for a moment, and she walked to the door. “Go back to bed, runt, and don’t get up till your brother returns. You get the morning off until he is done with his punishment.â€

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A cold hand closed over his mouth, cutting off his breathing tightly making him sit up with a start. “Wha-“, every further attempt to speak was cut short by the hissing voice of someone he knew all too well. As he sat up strait, vainly trying to pry the tightly clasped fingers off his mouth, the sharpness of Deneira´s voice broke him off. Shooting a despairing glance over to Danian who was still sound asleep, Dorian prayed to the Light that she wouldn´t hurt him once he was away. Light, he really hoped that she would leave his brother in peace if he just complied to what she wanted from him. Dorian was well aware of the fact that Deneira was a vastly different mentor than Corin was. Corin was strict and wouldn´t stop before pushing him to his very limits, Dorian knew, but what Deneira was doing with Danian was short of torture and constant humiliation, her hatred for him shrouding her like a second cloak.

 

Supressing a deep sigh, Dorian glimpsed a last vexed time on his sleeping brother as he stuffed Dene´s note into his pocket and went out of the room, feeling himself through the dark that always surrounded him, yet his sense of orientation was too affected by his own confusion and the abrupt way he was woken up let alone his anger about Deneira showing up like that, possibly about to hurt Danian right now. No, one day, one day when he had achieved the red cloak, Dorian knew she would have to pay for every blow and all the pain she had inflicted on Danian. He remembered Corin´s words and the punishment he had gone through after striking at her well, no trainee ever raised a sword against a Tower Guard, but light she would pay one day. This would teach her what the blind one was able to. Dorian gritted his teeth. That was just another thing. Dene didn´t despise him, hate him like she obviously hated Danian with a passion, but the feeling he felt from her whenever he was near was even worse at times. Pity.

 

That was something Dorian wouldn´t let come near him. Anger, hatred, despise for how he was, but pity was somethng he definitely wouldn´t have. He had grown up with his blindness, had found a way to cope with it somehow, once better than again worse, but he did get along. Even in the hard routine of the Warders´ Yard, he had foun his way through, better than some people thought even with his disability all too obvious, but he wouldn´t take anyone looking down at him with pitful eyes, sympathizing with him just because he couldn´t see. That was the worst humiliation someone could inflict on him and Dene worst of all. The last thing he wanted was her sympathy, from a person he loathed almost as much as she loathed Danian. A person he would take his revenge, avenge Danian in any way he possibly could. He would try hard, that much was sure.

 

Scampering through the corridors of the Trainee barracks, Dorian slowly regained enough orientation to make it outside to the gardens, intent on reaching the White Tower and the lirbrary he was headed. The faster he would accomplish his task, the less time Danian would be exposed to Dene´s fits, he thought, makng himself feel his way as fast as he could.

 

Unaware of crossing the Tower gardens, the very gardens he had met Tiegan monthis before, yet still remembering everything like it was only yesterday. Every touch, every word, every emotion was still so vivid in his mind that Dorian nearly thought he heard bells tinkling in the distance. Arafellin bells. Bells she had promised to wear so he would recognize her. That she had promised before…before he had destroyed everything they had, might have had, before they were caught….Light, sometimes he wished he had never met her. Not for his own sake. Dorian would have taken up a thousand runs with Corin, twisted ankle and nearly howling with pain if he just could meet her once more, just for the sound of her voice and maybe, maybe even for the touch of her cool hands tracing the lines of his face. Light, he would give anything to just be with her again, yet he knew that this was a vain wish. Not only were they absolutely not allowed to meet under no circumstances and he would never risk her being cast out of the Tower for his sake, but also he was sure that she must hate him now, after all the had said, all the pain he had caused, the punishment she had suffered just because of his own selfishness.

 

Dorian sighed and shook his head sadly. There was no use in pondering it all over and over again. He had lost every chance he might have had with her and it was over. Most likely she had already forgotten him anyway, had found someone else. Somehow Dorian nearly hoped she had. He wanted her to be happy that was all. Even if he would hate the man that would be with her, he still would love him because he made her happy. That much he knew and still the thought of her didn´t leave his mind whatever he did and no matter how hard he tried.

 

Angry at his own foolishness as he lost his way again in the maze of corridors and stairs of the White Tower, a territory where even people who could see like an eagle were known to lose their way, Dorian felt as forlorn as he could be. He was lost, he knew after feeling his way through an archway of what felt like polished marble collums for like the umpteeth time. He was walking in circles obviously. But he had to hurry. He had to get those books, find the study of the Head of the Green Ajah like Deneira had instructed him and then head back to her as quickly as possbile, before she could think of doing worse to Danian than she already had.

 

Dorian sighed in frustration and hung his head, leaning on a cold stony collum, trying to think a way out of this. He had to get those books no matter what and of course there wasn´t anybody awake at this hour, an hour when he could hear the birds sing, telling him that dawn was approaching, yet a time when even vey eager and busy Sisters were still asleep. And anyway, an Aes Sedai was most likely the last person in the world he wanted to ask for the way to the library, prooving himself a fool once more. No, there must be another way. He only had to think straight, clear the mess of memories and thoughts in this mind. Maybe the oneness would help…

 

That was when he heard the steps. A soft, muffled sound on the stone floor of the corridor Dorian was standing in, a sound like a silken slipper would make on hard material. Yet those steps were definitely coming towards him. Coming close. Already there. Dorian knew he couldn´t get away now. Burn him but he would have to answer quite a bunch of questions, he knew, but better now than never he would take the chance to at least attempt to find his way and maybe even give an explanation to why a trainee of the Warder´s Yard was lingering in the White Tower at that unearthly time. “Excuse me, but could you tell me.…â€, Dorian cut off abruptly, freezing in fact as he recognized the sound he was hearing. Unmistakable as the scent wafting over to him. He stood like a statue, too shocked to even more a hair when realization came to him. “T-Tiegan…â€, he stammered, his voice breaking unable to form anything anymore. Tiegan.

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Tiegan had been trying harder than before, she really had. THere wasn't much she felt she could do though, it was like some great big block had fallen... it just made her feel even more useless.

 

And what of Dorian? She had no idea... Tiegan hadn't wanted to risk peeking in the direction of the Warder's Yard. She liked the idea of being an Aes Sedai now. Maybe that was why she'd suddenly found a new block, she'd found Dorian and with him a pressing need to contine...

 

Too bad the need also hindered her, Tiegan thought dryly, as she stared out of the window at the garden. She played with one of the two braids and the bells idly, her mind heavy with the blank she'd experianced for so long.

 

It had gotten late again... and she was out of bed again. Tiegan made a face and hurried softly down the halls, trying to find a way back without being caught.

 

She skidded to a halt when she came face to face with the very trainee that'd been haunting her mind.

 

"Dorian?!"

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Tiegan. Dorian still found himself unable to move. He just stood there immobilized like a statue, all his senses suddenly leaving him when one thing filled his conscious. Tiegan. It was her. There was no mistaking in that. He had heard the bells in her hair, the hair an almost unconscious hand slowly reached out for, eager to feel the silken braids affirm the impression her voice had made on him.

 

His fingers carefully smoothing her hair, almost unconsciously and rather timidly resting on her cheek, Dorian couldn´t believe it. "You...you´re real...You´re here...I didn´t imagine it? You...", not even noticing that he was rambling and stammering, his usual witty comments leaving him as he found himself in her presence, in the presence of the woman he had been longing for so much, he found himself unable to move an inch, as if he was afraid the sudden appearance of her could jade like an illusion if he let go of her.

 

But she didn´t fade or go away. Seemingly as frozen and unable to comprehend what had suddenly happened, the two of them stood there, just staring at each other in utter disbelief of the Wheel making their threads cross again in the Great Pattern.

 

The Wheel weaves as it wills..., the saying crossed his mind. Well, it seemed to be all too true as far as he was concerned now. "Light!", Dorian suddenly realized that he was just standing there, touching her and all of a sudden read heat shot into his head as he blushed fiercely. "I...I´m sorry, Tiegan...i shouldn´t...but..." He couldn´t find any more words to describe what he was just feeling. It was just too much. Chaos in his mind, he felt like spinning around fast, nearly unable to keep standing as he was unable to gather any clear though..."...are you alright?", he suddenly asked, somehow run out of anything to say as speechless as he was.

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"I think I'm real... we'd both have problems if I wasn't really here." Tiegan whispered, staring at the man who'd she had hoped for daily. No... hourly. Even if she pretended she hadn't, she had.

 

He was so adorable and flustered. And glad to see her, the most important thing of it all... Dorian was glad to see her!

 

Instead of answering him verbally, Tiegan had other ideas, glancing from side to side guilty before pulling him to her by his clothes and pressing her lips to his.

 

It was a quick kiss but it was enough for him to know exactly how she was. "I missed you."

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He couldn´t even utter another word before she had quickly drawn him to herself, her lips touching his in a short kiss, yet a kiss full of longing and desire, telling him more than thousand words could that she had been missing him as much as he her.

 

Echoing her mouthed words almost instantly, a faint blush coloured his cheeks, when he pulled her close to him, not ashamed of anything, not caring if anyone could come across the corridor and saw them in the corner in that obvious position. Nothing mattered, but this very moment now, the moment he had anticipated for so long, but hadn´t even dared hoping for, his hopes shattered the very night they had met the first time, the night they had been caught and she had been punished because of his fault and his selfishness.

 

Still he couldn´t prevent himself from pulling her close again, tightening his embrace only to kiss her again, long and lingering as her lips parted willingly to his, sending a rush of sensation through him, he only remembered now how much he had missed it for all those months, seeming like an eternity, that they had been separated.

 

Oh Light, how much he had missed her, how much he had just been waiting, craving for this very moment, just to touch her or to talk to her again. This indeed was better than even his faint hopes could have promised him, he felt like dreaming, sleepwalking maybe. But this was real, as real as anything could be.

 

And yet the dreamlike feeling he was indulging in as he held her, kissing her, not bearing to part his lips from hers again as though that would mean losing her again, the kiss suddenly broke as realization came to him.

 

"So...", he began slowly, stroking her silken hair as he still held her tight, "so...you don´t...you don´t hate me? For...for what I´ve done to you?" Dorian bit his lip, insecurity suddenly creeping into him again as he halfway dreaded what she would answer to this.

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Thrills ran up and down her from head to toe, Tiegan noticed, as she wrapped her arms tightly around his chest so she could tug him closer. Kissing him or not, it was still something of a comfort to be able to smell him again... he stil smelt the same, how strange was that of her to notice?!... and he still felt the same.

 

Well, he didn't. Tiegan blinked as she noticed that he was getting stronger. Muscles were under her arms. Noticable ones even.

 

She hadn't really doubted him becoming a warder. But now that reality seemed to come closer much faster than she'd expected.

 

Tiegan rested her head on his shoulder and sighed with contentment. They'd have to let go of each other soon... but for a few more moments, just a few more.

 

"I don't hate you. I thought maybe you'd hate me for getting you in trouble..."

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An almost shy smile split his face before he kissed the top of Tiegan´s head, pressed close to his chest as she was. A wave of relief flooded through him as he couldn´t make himself describe how good her simple words, just announcing that she didn´t hate him after all, despite all, were. He didn´t want to get into any more details concerning the night they had been caught and later punished. Of his own punishment he remembered surprisingly little though, he had to admit, somehow his worry and dread about what was happening to Tiegan and how he would never see her again overshadowed everything he had been capable to think of.

 

Right now all the worry, the fear, the sorrow of the last weeks and months was gone though, had vanished and made room for something else, something new that he had only known briefly, maybe too briefly to still think of as a real emotion, but deeming it being frail and wavery, easily extinguishable like a flame dancing on a candlestick by a simple breath of wind.

 

Now he learned different though. Seeing her in that unlikely and unexpected way like he just did, hearling that she didn´t hate him at all, hearling and feeling that as well as the simple truth of her having missed him as much as he had, just moved something inside of him, something he had already thought had been crushed the very night, snapped like his ankle after the run, Corin had enforced on him. Feeling like having lost something Dorian knew couldn´t be mended as easily as a bone. Something that once broken, would take years, maybe a life to heal, maybe never would.

 

But still as he was hugging her close, feeling his arms around her and becoming aware of the feeling of her little, slender body pressing against him, as he smelled her again, heard her voice again and the soft tinkling of the bells she had in her hair as she had promised, the mere fact that she was keeping that promise after all, told him as much as the touch of the sweetness of her lips eagerly seeking his, everything just told him that she loved him still, was returning his feelings. And Light, how much he wanted to just keep that, not ever to let something like the night they had been caught happen again...like they were right now, unprotected and bare to everyone passing by.

 

"No“, he whispered soflty as he felt a doorknob just behind him, somewhere in the depths of his mind recalling that this must leads to a kind of broomcloset. Opening it softly while still not letting go of her, the only thing he could think of for now is that he wouldn´t have her caught again, no matter what he had to do and no matter the circumstances. They just would have to hide and this was the first and maybe only possibility for them to stay undercover, away from the curious eyes of any passerby, out of trouble. “Comeâ€, he added, before opening the door entirely to draw her in, smiling at her apparent puzzledness and about how this must look like before he shut the door safely behind them.

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And then they were in the dark together. Close. Close enough to feel warm breath on each other's skin, to feel every twitch and every movement. It was warmer in there than she had expected and the air was thicker. But it was more than physical closeness that this place brought.

 

Tiegan couldn't see. She was as blind as he was now and in a strange way she liked that, she liked being forced to rely on her other sense as he did every day. It made her feel even closer to him and it made her feel uncertian at the same time. Shy even. She was all of a sudden fumbling, unable to really tell much about anything, unable to see or to know if something was there other than them, she had to rely on Dorian. He was the one in his element in here, though she wasn't even sure if he noticed that, the one who was most competent.

 

And she liked that. One of her hands trailed down his shoulder to find his hand. Tiegan held onto it so that she'd always be aware of where he was in here... not that there was really anywhere for him to go.

 

"I missed you." She told him huskily. Had she told him that before? Oh well, it didn't matter. Tiegan could have said it for the next week and she probably wouldn't even come close to explaining the feelings behind that. It wasn't lust, or desire or ...it was just missing. Missing him and his presence and his smell and his feeling and... it was missing Dorian. One night alone together before this yet somehow they'd made a connection like that. It made her mind swirl.

 

"Are you... how are you going with training? And your brother? You feel like you're getting good." She whispered, wrapping both arms around him, head back on his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I try but I don't seem to be getting anywhere with mine. I don't know... it's hard to explain, like maybe I didn't belong here after all."

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Gently Corin rubbed the bruised knuckles of his left hand, the closest thing to a good memory for the morning was the loud smack that played back again in his mind. It probably would not help the situation with Deneira in the overall scheme of things. But boy it sure had felt good when his left had connected solidly with that tormentor of a woman. He would have to keep a close eye on her for the next several weeks, he did not believe it below her to try and get back at him through his mentee. But if she would have kept her ignorant meat hooks to herself and her own assignments this whole escapade would not have happened. At the very least she should have asked him before interfering in his training plans.

 

The smile soured a little at the thought of the cost for that little bit of revenge. It was fitting in the need for authority and order in the yard for all. But it still galled him that the woman could have lured him into her troubled web so easily. Normally Corin would have kept a clearer head and a more level decisive nature to him. But with all that had been going on he had allowed too much to get in and affect his attitude. Perhaps Sirayn had been right in banishing me from her. If I can not keep things together under such simple situations then perhaps I am not deserving of the right to be at her side. The thought only increased the decline in his mood toward the darker bitter thoughts that had carried him across the yard and head long into the ensuing grapple with Deneira. Somewhere he had to find some of the old joy that painted life in delightful shades of warmth and purpose for him. “Perhaps a visit to Savannah and some light hearted conversation will help shake this dark cloud I am under,†he grumbled quietly as he continued down another dim corridor.

 

Somewhere in this maze that made up the corridors running throughout the Tower was his mentee. That was his goal right now and he worked to force the rest of the chaos that raced in his mind to the back. He would have to have a little chat with the boy and explain the problems that might come his way in the future due to the altercation his mentor had been in with another holding the ability to have authority over him. Ironic that in the drive to separate her claws from the boy he may have only made the prize all the more tempting. Corin shook his head again, this mentee was turning out to be a career; only Corin was beginning to wonder if he would survive.

 

There was far to many puzzle pieces regarding the boy still loose in the box and not enough together to get a clear picture of where he might fit in future events. For now Corin would have to continue to try and get the boy to the cloak and see what path Dorian decided to step out on. With luck it would not be a path that continued to bring trouble to his mentor. A quick glance down a crossing hall as Corin continued his search brought him up short. Leaning back to look he caught sight of a hall door slipping shut. He was sure just a moment ago he had see rough hands and fair hair; too items that were in complete contrast with each other in this place. The only logical answer was a trainee that was in a place they shouldn’t be with company they most certainly should not be entertaining.

 

Spinning purposefully on heel he slipped down the hall on cat like steps to the door and the opportunity to release some pent up frustration on its occupants. Gripping the handle firmly he set his face in a cold mask of judgemental authority and set ice to his tongue to add bit to his words. In a quick motion he flung the door open, “boy you had better have a life pressing issue to be here with her or …†His voice stilled, the face of Dorian becoming visible as the girl turned toward the open doorway. Shock rushed through Corin as he stared at the boy and his whim, cornered in the closet. Shock and outrage rushed to be known; iron cold contempt crushed both emotions and held the distant mask on his face. Very few would have caught the tightening at the corners of his eyes and knew there meaning. Sirayn was one and even then she would have found interest in how well he held the composure she had worked to drill into him.

 

Instead of continuing where he had stopped he stepped back away from the door his arms crossing in front of him to add additional weight to his displeased appearance. He watched as the two hesitantly made there way out from the safety of the closet and into the flickering torch light of the hall. Open and bright in contrast to the dark anonymous protection they had unsuccessfully sought.

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~Dorian~

 

How long had they been waiting for one unobserved moment like this? Free of the vigilant ties the White Tower was binding both of them, so close and yet so far apart. Too far, it had seemed to him someimes, enough distance between them to block either one´s view of the fire of their love still burning on and on, a faint glow always illumining even the darkest and lonliest of all nights. Kindling that wouldn´t cease and flames that were showing a way, appearing to pull them together, closer and closer like right now as lips met lips, skin met skin as they relished this one small excuse, that small flight they had taken, enjoying it with the affection only two long-seperated lovers could possess, lingering as long as the Light would give them permission to indulge in each other.

 

May this last forever..., Dorian thought, his lips still locked with Tiegan´s as his hands seemed to busy themselves with the laces of her dress almost without his own contribution when the door of the closet they still were in, seeking privacy, suddenly was ripped open with an angry demand to explain himself on the lips of no one else than his mentor himself.

 

Dorian´s heart seemed to drop and stand still in shock as he realized what just had happened. Caught again. The Garden. Everything came back to his mind as he desperately tried to shield Tiegan with his own body as though that could hide her or make him less guilty. For guilty he was. Again. Gullible and prone to his own longing, his own needs, once agian over-looking reason and care for those he endangered as well. How could he have been so careless, so selfish again? Broken his promise again?

 

Dorian had to gulp deeply before he even was capable of gathering his wits let alone manage a halfway decent, coherent sentence - an apology? admission? - to come out of his suddenly dry mouth.

 

"I...Corin...it´s not what you think...it´s...it´s not her fault...I..."

 

Halfway coherent? Decent even? No, boy, this was neither a fitting admission nor an apology of any sort. None that Corin Danveer would accept anyways and Dorian even felt the tightness of his stare, cold eyed and without pity.

 

Light, he was in trouble. Again...

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The boy studdered before him helplessly under his icy watch; like a fish out of water on a hook he wiggled to find a way free. There would be no out, not again. He recognized the girl Dorian desperately tried to hide. Once again the seeming white dove had turned out to be a wolf and drew his mentee away from studies and into frivolous affairs of the heart. Why could the fool boy not seen there was no time for this kind of foolish behavior. He had to learn his lessons, lessons harder for him then many others in the yard because of his lack of sight. If he hoped to stay alive in this career path then he had to learn them well and with out distraction.

 

A venom he had not know before but his tongue found from the lashing he had taken under her slate cold stare edged his words, dripped sarcasm from them with heavy cords. His hand reached past the boy to collect the loose laces of his prizes gown. “I suppose these just magically undid them selves, or perhaps I am out of the loop and undone laces are the latest fashion craze.” he let the lace ends tap lightly at Dorian's shoulder while his eyes took in the downcast eyes of the girl. “I'm sure Faerzyne will be most interested to hear about this new fashion. I'm sure she will keep you for hours in discussion.” The girls eyes shot up at the mention of the Mistress of Novice, as did the sudden stiffening of his mentee.

 

Dorian's mouth opened, most likely to try and spare the girl her due fate. Before words could fall from it the back of Corin's hand slammed hard into his cheek spinning his head to the side and carrying his body off balance; the sound reverberating off the hard stone walls. “I did not tell you to speak. You will keep your trap shut until I address you or I will drag you out of here unconscious.” His voice was low; held the warmth of a winter frost as the boy straightened again, the girls hand on his elbow and concern on her face. “Waste no pity for him my dear, you will need it all for yourself I am sure. How is it both of you can not understand basic rules? Do you believe they are created solely for your amusement, for you to pick and chose which to follow and which to break? You,” his finger stabbed hard into the chest of Dorian. “How can you be of any use to the tower if you do not know your lessons, understand rules and discretion. Lives will be in your hands boy, I will not have them placed in the hands of an incompetent bafoon.” His voice never raised but the arctic front it carried remained in full as jade green eyes regarded them with no warmth. “Let's take a walk you too, it's time to pay for your indiscretion yet again.” He ignored the small trick of blood from the corner of Dorian's mouth as he gathered the two up; one on each side his grip tight on their arms.

 

It took little time before he had them before the Mistress of Novice's door. “You will stay there and remain quiet or she will get more, and you will listen to every wail from her mouth is that clear?” After the boy nodded he shoved him toward the wall and then tapped lightly on the door. After making his apologies to Faerzyne Sedai he explained the situation he had found and assured her that the boy would be dealt with sternly. He watched her carefully as she lifted the laces briefly and then cast her gaze to the boy. Securing her permission to depart with the boy and a promise he would be dealt with correctly the door closed off the girl from sight; a small shiver tried to race up his spine. He felt pity for the girl for a brief moment before the fire of anger was once more stoked; eyes falling on Dorian. “You and I have a date boy, one you will remember.”

 

His gave the boy a quick shove in front of him and escorted him out of the tower; a prisoner on the long walk to the gallows. Only Dorian's fate would not be so quick. As they stepped back out side Corin pulled him up short. Now heat twinged his voice, no one was near to hear the slip of emotion. “I have had enough of this from you. You will learn your lesson one way or another I assure you. You know where to meet me and I better not be there by myself for long. When you arrive you will have everything you deem of value with you. Everything do you understand? If I think you left anything in your room I will have it taken out and destroyed while you watch. Do not test me now boy, you will loose.” With that he turned and headed to the store masters quarters for some supplies he would need for this lesson, then it was off to the track again to see how his target of frustration had made out.

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