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Under the Midnight Velvet, who be you Stranger? ~Gillie~


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She couldn't sleep.


Eyes wide in the darkness, Vera lay in her bed in a silent discontent. She was feeling restless. Tossing, turning, gazing- clear signs really. The last time this had happened, she had stayed awake for hours, simply lying in her cot, musing, pondering, spinning into that place known to all daydreamers. Deep swirls of emotion, with touches of reminiscence and all things melancholy- she had been doing this often in the past month. Lyra had asked her blatantly if she'd suddenly gotten some earth shattering letter from home, Aeveryn had passed by and asked her concernedly about what the matter was. Light, even Caryn had asked her if things were going alright. Even Caryn Dinai had noticed. The thought loomed in her head like a vast stone pillar, swaying a little as her thoughts would flicker elsewhere, stepping lightly onto new grounds. It disturbed her most infact, that all this concern, this sapling of worry coming from others, was over simply nothing. It was nostalgia, that was all. And yet, how could she explain such things to them without going into every dull and drab detail of her past?


In a brisk spontaneity that made Vera's heart soar slightly, she lifted herself off her bed. Gracefully slipping the banded dress over her head, she smoothed her hair a little self-consciously before grabbing her cloak and gliding out of her room. She was going to take a walk, she decided with a calmness she found very suiting for how she felt. Vera liked the Tower like this. So quiet, so richly beautiful- it was almost as if something terribly dramatic was going to happen any moment and break through everything. And immediately, just like that it struck her- these were the very things she had feared, about seven years ago, as a Novice. That stopped her. For a moment or two she just stood, staring at a carving nearby with interest much too great for its quality. She had changed more than even she had believed she had. It was with this realization that she stepped out into the grounds, her head lost in a sea of thoughts, all of them spilling over one another. Memories flew unbidden to her mind, from that of her very first day in the Tower to her first encounter with Nyssa Deschain, Gray Sister of the most influential order. Both days she had been so very nervous. And yet, she had been such a different person.


Who am I?


I am Vera Cadsanome, Accepted of the White Tower.


As if to add to the conviction if this last sentence, she said it aloud, her voice soft, a little unsteady. Did it sound right? Again she said it, except this time there was more hostility to it, more confidence. Better, definitely. It was hinting at something strong and yet, she was sure that if anyone else would hear her, she would sound terribly weak to their ears. Lifting her chin up a little, she pulled the cloak around her body. It was quite chilly for a spring night, she noticed. Not many people around. Nor would they want to be, she found herself thinking immediately afterward- it was not the nicest escapade usually.

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Gillie crept through the White Tower’s shadowy pathways without making a sound, his movements unnoticed by anyone still awake. The Night’s Watch was his domain, and he guarded the Towers entrances and gates like a shepherd watches his flocks.


The set of his eyes turned grim as he said to himself, ‘There are worse things than wolves and bears that might attack the Tower. If only the steel of my sword was enough…’


He quickened his pace and moved on to another outer stairwell, taking two steps at a time till he reached the next floor. While the Tower Guard’s dark brown eyes searched every shadow for signs of a threat, his mind was turning over other thoughts.


Gillie’s spirit was adrift, lost and wondering through the deep corridors of his heart and mind. The past, filled with both good and horrible memories, wouldn’t let him rest, nor was the present providing him with any peace of mind.


His two natures, the stern Tower Guard and the charismatic Flute of the Meadow, were at war again. It was only quite recently that he had finally let go of part of his painful past in an attempt to heal the dark wounds of his soul.


‘To be able to smile again… to laugh with an open heart… to dance without staggering under the weight of guilt… to cry if I need to… the simple ability to feel…’ It was a wonderful thing, the reawakening of his old self, but the transformation wasn’t complete. Gillie still wasn’t whole.


And while he lacked mastery over his own feelings, he was forced to crush them in the Flame and Void. It was only a limited kind of control, really very incomplete. While being utterly focused and aware of his surroundings in an almost supernatural sense, when he held the Void everything he felt was burned up within the vacuum of emotion, leaving him a deadly fighter that couldn’t express his true feelings. The Void was like a double edged sword, it could cut both ways. Though it gave him a huge advantage in battle, it deadened his heart, numbing him bit by precious bit.


Gillie made his second circuit of the Tower grounds as the moon came to its zenith in the sky. He pulled the cloak of his uniform closer to his body, blocking out the cool breeze. Thought he couldn’t feel the nights chill through the Void, he still had to take precautions against the elements.


‘The last thing I want to do is get sick…’


He made his way over to the west gate to take his post there for an hour till the next guard came to relieve him. The rotation system was designed so that all the guards on the Night’s Watch would be able to move about every couple hours to break up the monotony of watch duty, or more truthfully they rotated stations so no one would fall asleep. It was routine to Gillie and the other guards, so much so that their rhythm was perfect and everyone rotated at the same time, making it so that they rarely even saw each other in passing from station to station.


Gillie checked his rapier, making sure it was clear of its sheath, before he took up the position he would hold for the next hour. “Now for the longest part of the work…â€


Waiting… and… watching…


As his eyes searched the surrounding darkness, Gillie let his mind wonder where it would. He thought of many things from his childhood and the life he had led in the Almoth Plain. Eventually his mind settled on a song he had written one night a long time ago.


‘I was only a boy… and mother had just begun teaching me the flute… but still, I wrote that song in the middle of the night… in a pasture so lush and green…’ As he remembered that time, he absentmindedly began to hum the tune. It was a simple melody, with a gloomy pitch that sounded as if the singer waned between sorrow and hope.


It wasn’t long before Gillie let the Void fall away and he lifted his voice in song. The words were sung softly, hugging the cool evening air as they were washed away by the night.


“I say unto the day

Sorry I can’t stay

Someone’s on their way

I’ll be found


I look to the night

Knowing everything’s alright

Someone’s on their way

I’ll be found


I sing to the stars

Please shine behind shadowed bars

Someone’s on their way

I’ll be found


Sweet lullaby the moon

I’ll be leaving soon

Someone’s on their way

I’ll be found


I whisper to the dawn

I won’t be here for long

Someone’s on their way

I’ll be found


I cry to the cold

For me, the ice will never hold

Someone’s on their way

I’ll be found


I pass away to the spring

Bleeding, I can’t feel anything

Someone’s on their way

I’ll be found


I sacrifice the summer sky

With another part of me that died

Someone’s on their way

I’ll be found


I forfeit the Autumn Fall

Knowing they’ll answer my pleading call

Someone’s on their way

I’ll be found


I give up another year

Cradling all my fear

Someone’s on their way

I’ll be found…â€


As a boy Gillie hadn’t liked being left alone in the meadows. At first he had been very lonely, the solitude had frightened him. Sometimes as he sat there watching his sheep, miles away from home, he felt like a castaway stranded out at sea, or like a person locked away in some far away prison.


Though, no matter how long he stayed out in the pastures someone always came to get him when he needed to bring in the sheep. That is, until he grew up and could handle the responsibilities of a shepherd all by himself. By the time he was a young man he had found the isolation quite soothing to his mind. As his fear of loneliness diminished he had forgotten the simple song written to express his true feelings.


Now, Gillie found himself not only remembering every word of that old song, but he felt the need to add another verse.


“I turndown this persisting life

Knowing truth sharper than any knife

No one’s on their way

I’ll not be found…â€


He was a man grown, a Tower Guard, and no one was on their way to help save him.



Once again the loneliness he had felt as a child began to slither in around the edges of his mind. Gillie’s first instinct was to summon the Void and banish his feelings altogether.


‘No… not this time…’ he said to himself. ‘I’ll not rest on that crutch anymore when it comes to my feelings.’


He drew in the pain and loneliness, holding it close to his heart, letting his spirit drink deep of his childhood fears. Using his feelings as a catalyst, Gillie began the song once again, filling each word to the brim with his utter torment.


This time the song was transformed from a simple song to the desperate cry of his spirit. He gave himself to the song with reckless abandonment, letting a torrent of emotion flow through him. The very fingerprints of his soul seemed to make each word of his song glow with the mark of his truest feelings. It was both beautiful and heartrending in the same breath.


After a long time Gillie stopped singing, and thought about what had just happened.


‘What does this mean? Do my childhood fears haunt me again?’ he pondered these questions for only a moment before deciding the answers would only come with time.


‘I’m just glad the night has hidden me from any prying eyes. I would not want anyone to have seen or heard me…’


Just then Gillie turned around and caught a glimpse of a dark shape standing about ten yards away. It took him only a moment before he recognized who it was.


He cleared his throat and said in a clear soft voice, “Good evening Vera…â€


Gillie Cole

Tower Guard

Disciple of Balance

Path of the Blade

Warrior of the Last Breath

Flute of the Meadow

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  • 5 months later...

A voice like a soft breeze, and it made Vera stop in her tracks fixed like stone. Gillie Cole- she would’ve known that voice anywhere. Lucky for her that her back was facing the man, lucky for him he couldn’t see the blushes that devoured her cheeks. Lucky for them both that the night had settled so heavily on the Tower that it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. Had he been there all that while? The thought made her redden further. She had meant to traverse her way down self discovery on her own, not alongside a Tower Guard who had seen so much more of the world than she! Still, he was slightly different from the rest. Not that she had met or questioned many other Tower Guards, but that wasn’t the point. Finally turning around, Vera found herself face to face with him and an innate smile bloomed on her face. Here unfolded yet another memory- of music and anger, laughter and dances. Yes, she had a friend in Gillie, and she was glad to see him again.


“Gillie.” Vera named him in an equally soft voice. It didn’t seem right to talk in anything much louder than whispers somehow. He understood that too, she realized with a small thrill. The last time she’d seen him had been at least two weeks ago, but she was glad to see that little had changed. Eyes cut out in the night like stars, relief coursed through her. The change was here to stay then, the stone façade gone. Good, she thought with an inward nod. “This is…unexpected,” she said openly, though not coldly. “I thought no one came out at this time of the night. Seems I was wrong, even if I’m happily wrong.” The last words she finished with warmth. She would hate it if he misunderstood her and walked away. Besides, perhaps his company would help lift this mood she’d settled into. Or perhaps not- the last time around, Vera had openly accused and questioned Gillie in a manner she would’ve done to few others. However, she had been rather flustered then, which she was certainly not now. If words were going to slip out, then it would be willingly she decided. Perhaps she would even learn more about her friend? Now there was a welcome thought. “What brings you here?” she asked him curiously, tilting her head slightly out of habit.


When she heard his answer, Vera felt like smacking her head on a wall somewhere. Night watch. Foolish of her not to have guessed herself. Embarrassing also, but Gillie’s face did not show the slightest hint of amusement and so she thanked him silently. A good friend. A friend to keep. Looking towards the beckoning path, Vera felt the telltale rush inside her. The trees, the leaves and the faint smell of dew all calling her. It was late already, and if she didn’t go soon, she would be breaking the curfew. “Do you have to stay in one spot Gillie, or can you wander during your watch?” Pausing, she glanced at him enquiringly. “If you can, would you…like to walk with me?”


~Vera Cadsanome

Retro Accepted and Gray Aspirant


OOC: :) I posted to this because I felt like it, so if you would like to continue it, that would be awesome. We can move onto something else otherwise. :D Welcome back!(almost) :)

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  • 2 weeks later...

There was a touch of apathy in his smile at first, but that dull grey world he had lived in for so long soon faded in the warmth of her friendly voice. He laughed good-naturedly at her question and the sound was clear and pure.


“Why Vera, have you forgotten that I’m a Tower Guard and someone has to watch over the sleeping world at night? I’m working tonight…” He sighed and shrugged his shoulders, “…every night actually. Last winter I asked to be permanently put on the Nights Watch. Back then… if you remember from our last conversation, I felt a need to hide from the day.”


He said all this in a calm matter-of-fact tone, and for once the words didn’t bring any pangs of despair over all the time he felt had been wasted. Gillie realized that the wall of pain and frustration he had built over the years didn’t seem so high or thick anymore.


‘Is this what heeling feels like?’ he wondered.


While the ache and hurt wasn’t completely gone, it did feel somehow… lessened. Like the mountains blocking his future and condemning him to stay in and relive his past weren’t so overwhelming anymore.


‘I almost feel strong enough to start climbing those horrible peeks again… almost…’


Suddenly feeling lighthearted enough to fly, Gillie took hold of Vera’s arm and started walking. “Where shall we go Vera? The night is not completely spent, and the Tower is no small place.”


Inspiration stuck Gillie in mid-step and he knew of a place that Vera might enjoy. “Or perhaps,” he said with a grin, “you would like to meet one of my other friends? He can also be found wondering the Tower at night?”


He gave her a playful wink and whispered, “What do you say to a small adventure Vera?”




OOC: Sorry it took so long for me to post, but I’ve had incredible writers block. The pressure of posting after not writing for so long made me nervous. Plus I hoped you wouldn’t mind because you have finals your studying for. Anyway, I have my idea now and if your up for it I’m ready to write again….

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  • 2 weeks later...

OOC: Your RPing always amazes me actually. :) And this time round, I'm the rusty poster. I've not written anything in a good two weeks! :(




It was a sweet change, the light in his face, the smile with which he had taken her arm. True enough that there were still marks on him of the man he was, but they were the shadows now, unlike before, where joy had been a flicker and nothing more. It gave her hope. The hope that perhaps some day not so far away, she could assist others too, fulfilling the name ‘Servant of All’ with pride… and maybe the slightest curve of her lower lip. Yes, that would be lovely. The picture descended gently down and curled up inside her mind; a Gray shawl draped casually, waves tied back so that her eyes surveyed a kneeling figure. “I will bring you the justice that the Light perceives to be right for you”…oh but to dream! Vera looked at Gillie once more, enjoying the new found warmth she had discovered in his company. He was grinning at her, that boyish grin that took so many years off his face and made him seem more known to Vera than the Tower Guard she had danced with. Was this Gillie, Flute player and Life lover?


A small adventure? The thought made the sudden energy inside her bubble even further, causing Vera to grin as best as her status in the banded dress allowed her. “A small adventure sounds lovely. Perfect actually- I’ve been restless the whole day and I’m still unsure why.” Light, she was gushing! The man would think her a ten year old boy with a new found play, rather than an Accepted who should be well on her way to be tested. “As for your friend…if he doesn’t mind meeting an Accepted who doesn’t know much about conversation, then of course.” And even if the friend did, Vera was curious to see where Gillie meant to lead her. There was something in that sparkle, the glittering eyes that told her that it was going to a memorable night. What was he upto?


~Short post, rusty rather than sweet and VERY late.

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‘Not much for conversation? Well Vera, my other friend barely speaks at all, so this should be interesting…’ Gillie laughed at her remark but didn’t tell her what he had been thinking as they walked back into the Tower.


He led Vera to the servants stairwell hidden behind a large tapestry. The hallway was dark and quiet, not a person in sight.


“Alright,” Gillie said, “this is the first part of our adventure. We’re going to sneak into the kitchens and nick some food. Now, it’s important that we aren’t seen.”


He pointed to her shoes and said, “And it’s best you fallow me barefoot so were not heard either.”


She looked down at his boots and he could see the question forming on her lips, but before she could ask it, he said, “I’m not a good as a Warder, but I can move without being heard. Us Tower Guards aren’t without some abilities.”


And just like that he took her hand and they went down to the kitchens.


A few night cooks were up baking bread and prepping the food for breakfast in a couple hours. They were all concentrating on their work but as in most kitchens they had a lively banter going back and forth.


“Hay there Philip, don’t kneed that bread so much or it’ll be as tough as your mothers face.” one of the young men said to his friend that was rolling out some dough.


The other one, Philip, barked a laugh and said, “Don’t you be telling me how to bake. Just you watch those eggs there. Some Aes’ Sedi is going to end up with a mouthful of shells in the morning and when she comes down here looking for who’d ruined her meal, we’ll all point to you!”


Gillie and Vera silently slipped through the doorway and crept along the far wall. The cooks were to preoccupied to even notice them, but they still crouched down low to the floor, quickly moving to hide behind a stack of barrels in the corner. Gillie was impressed at how light Vera was on her feet. They had made their entrance flawlessly, as if they were nothing more than two shadows made by the flickering flames of the cook fires.


Now that they were safely hidden, Gillie took a moment to look around the kitchen and find some suitable food that his friend might like. There was a lot to choose from, but he knew his friend could be finicky sometimes so not just any food would do.


He glanced a Vera, smiled, and leaned close to her ear, whispering, “I know they would have given us anything we wanted, but what’s the fun in that?”


He winked and continued, “Do you see any fish or sausages near by?”




OOC: I thought you might have fun with Vera taking the lead next. Perhaps she could figure out a way to snitch the food?

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