So thats what the arches look like ...

[Arath Faringal]

Rochel stalked down the hallways of the White Tower, hands wrinkled from hot water, and her teeth grinding.  It was a wonder she still had any teeth left after six and a half years.  Or any skin on her arms for that matter.  She doubted the cooks spent more time in the kitchens than she had.  She couldn't remember the last time her skin had been smooth.  Not that it really mattered much here, but it was still one more frustration.

 

As she rounded a corner, she nearly ran headlong into the last person she wanted to see right now.  Trying oh so hard not to grind her teeth straight into dust, Rochel made a grudging curtsy to Larindhra Sedai.  A small, less than pleasant encounter with the Mistress of Novices had earned her this latest week in the kitchens, and Rochel didn't quite trust herself to not say something foolish yet.

 

Before she even had a chance to open her mouth thought, the Mistress of Novices spoke.  "You are to come with me, child."

 

"What did I do now?"  Rochel almost winced as the words left her tongue, regreting them already. 

 

Larindhra Sedai simply arched an eyebrow, giving that Aes Sedai look that told you that the next words out of your mouth had better be 'yes Aes Sedai'.  Wisely keeping her mouth shut, for once, Rochel followed as Larindhra turned and walked away.

 

Several minutes later, Rochel found herself in a part of the Tower that she had never been to before, far below the ground floor.  Strange, half formed thoughts flitted through her mind as she tried to figure out what was going on.  It quickly became apparent as Larindhra pushed open a large set of doors.  Inside, a handful of Aes Sedai waited serenely at their assigned posts.  In the center of the room stood a large set of silver arches, standing on a silver ring, the bottom points touching the arch to either side.

 

The Mistress of Novices turned to face Rochel. “I will now tell you two things that no woman hears until she enters this room. Once you begin, you must continue to the end. Refuse to go on, no matter your potential and you will be very kindly put out of the Tower with enough silver to support you a year, and you will never be allowed back. Second. To seek, to strive, is to know danger. You will know danger here. Some women have entered, and never come out. When the ter”angreal was allowed to grow quiet, they – were – not – there. And they were never seen again. If you will survive, you must be steadfast. Faltering leads to a failure.

 

“This is your last chance, child. You may turn back now, and you will have only mark against you. Twice more will you be allowed to come here, and only at the third refusal will you be put out of the Tower. It is no shame to refuse. Many cannot do it their first time here. Now you may speak.”

 

Rochel stared at Larindhra for a moment, then turned her head to look at the arches.  She felt a tightness in her chest as she looked at them.  Not fear exactly, at least not fear of the arches themselves.  They couldn't be as bad as the accepted made them out to be.  No, she did not fear the arches.  It was what came after the arches.  Acceptance.  That was not something she wanted to face.  One step closer to being Aes Sedai, something she still didn't want. Six and a half years in the White Tower had not improved her opinion of the sisters much.  Not nearly enough to want to be one herself.  Turning back to Larindhra Sedai, Rochel slowly shook her head.  "No," she said simply, and perhaps a touch more defiantly than she should have.

 

A brief look passed across the Mistress of Novices' face, something that Rochel couldn't quite place.  An odd mix of disappointment, concern, and ... contempt?  And that ever present calculating stare.  She was silent for a moment, studying Rochel who stared back for a moment before looking away.

 

"She has refused the test.  Let no one speak of what transpired here today, not even amongst themselves.  Go now, under the Light."

 

Rochel felt more than a little uncomfortable under the gazes of the four Aes Sedai as they filed out of the chamber.  She could almost feel them laughing at her.  Well, let them think what they wanted.  When the last of them had gone, Larindhra finally spoke again.  "Go back to your room, child.  You will be summoned again.  Some day."

 

With a sigh, Rochel turned and slowly made her way back up the Tower to her room.  Larindhra's words seemed to echo in her ears ... a pronouncement of doom.  You will be summoned again.  The White Tower wouldn't be done with her until she was dead.

[Arath Faringal]

Larindhra saw Rochel out of the corner of her eye as she strode along the hallway. Her normally abrupt stride slowed just enough so that she would intercept the girl coming down the ramp, without making it in any way obvious.  She had spent the past few days patrolling these hallways, looking for just this opportunity. Above all, the girl must never suspect that their chance meeting and her casual words had been carefully orchestrated.  She nodded a casual acknowledgement of the girl's curtsy, and her words seemed disinterested. "Still keeping up with your studies then?" She kept on walking, albeit slowly, forcing the girl to walk with her. "Hopefully we won't run out of things to keep you busy with until you can refuse ... I mean attempt the Arches again."

 

Her eyes flickered to the girl to see how she had taken that comment, before the next rather absent minded one. "A pity you have to refuse them twice more before we let you go, heh?" There was no chance that they would let a girl of her calibre go unless there was no other choice. She had the strength and the ability to become an Aes Sedai. The only stumbling block was her silly notion of not wanting to be one.  "Oh well ... I'm sure we can keep you busy for the next ten years or so."

 

Rochel quickly rose from her exactly proper curtsy, with a not so proper glare for the Mistress of Novices.  The last year had been rough, with a sharp increase in the number of visits to Larindhra Sedai's office.  Most of them rather unpleasant.  Until I refuse again?    Well, that was an idea she had been entertaining, but still.  For her to say it in such a ... dismissive fashion was annoying.  Larindhra's next comment was a little upsetting though.  Ten years!?  “What do you mean?  What good would it do to keep me here that long?"

 

Larindhra just smiled sweetly at her. "How ever many years it takes, child. Some women have taken twenty or thirty years to reach the Arches." She neglected to mention that those women had fought tooth and nail to get there.

 

Rochel fought to maintain a cool exterior, but inside she fumed.  “Then why did you send me there after only six?  Why bother?”

 

“Why indeed?  Sometimes its obvious when a girl doesn't have what it takes to become Aes Sedai.  Perhaps it is better to give those girls a chance to fail early so that we may be rid of them?  Others may have a glimmer of hope, but it is buried so far down that it takes many years to dig it out and make something useful of it.”  Larindhra levelled another sickly sweet smile at Rochel.

 

“It is sometimes difficult to tell the difference between those that are worth the effort, and those that are a waste of time.”  With a small smirk, Larindhra added, “I believe I already know which one you are.  Unfortunately, it may be at least ten years before you're allowed a third … attempt.”  She sighed, as though unhappy at that prospect.

 

Rochel growled in the back of her throat.  Don't have what it takes? she screamed in her mind. If I wanted to I could be better than any of you!  I'll show you, you horrible old wretch!  Acting as though I had already failed again.  “May I go now?” she asked, anger writhing just beneath the surface.  “I will be late for my classes.”  The moment the Aes Sedai began to nod, Rochel dropped a quick curtsy, probably not quite deep enough, and hurried away. 

 

Larindhra watched the young Domani race down the hall with a self satisfied smirk.  The girl had no idea she had just been played like a harp.  She had no doubt the stubborn girl would rise up to the challenge the next time she faced the arches.

[Arath Faringal]

Not a week later, an exhausted Rochel flopped down onto her bed, wanting nothing more than to sleep for a week.  She had a free day tomorrow, and for once she hadn't ruined it with an excessive amount of chores as punishment.  She intended to sleep most of it away. 

 

In the process of removing her white dress, Rochel heard her door swing open.  Thinking it to be Evanen or Kasi, Rochel simply continued as she was, until she heard the small cough.  Glancing over her shoulder, she saw the Mistress of Novices waiting.  Spinning around quickly, Rochel tried to drop a curtsy, but her half undone dress got in the way and she ended up falling backwards onto the floor.  With a poorly concealed scowl, she picked herself up as Larindhra spoke.

 

"You are to come with me," said Larindhra, a ghost of a smile on her face.  "I'll give you a moment, but hurry up child."

 

Soon enough, Rochel found herself dressed again and walking down the path she had trod a year before, down to the Tower's lower levels.  Once again she found herself in front of the silver arches, in the presence of a handful of Aes Sedai.

 

“I will now tell you two things that no woman hears until she enters this room. Once you begin, you must continue to the end. Refuse to go on, no matter your potential and you will be very kindly put out of the Tower with enough silver to support you a year, and you will never be allowed back. Second. To seek, to strive, is to know danger. You will know danger here. Some women have entered, and never come out. When the ter”angreal was allowed to grow quiet, they – were – not – there. And they were never seen again. If you will survive, you must be steadfast. Faltering leads to a failure.

 

“This is your last chance, child. You may turn back now, and you will have two marks against you. Once more will you be allowed to come here, and only at the third refusal will you be put out of the Tower. It is no shame to refuse. Many cannot do it their first time here. Now you may speak.”

 

Rochel still wanted to say no, but she wouldn't give Larindhra the satisfaction.  The bloody woman looked as though she was already expecting refusal.  She seemed to be turned toward the door already in preperation to leave.  Looking her straight in the eye, Rochel muttered, "I'll do it."

 

Rochel could have sworn that a pleased look crossed over Larindhra's face before she turned away to the other sisters to continue the ceremony.  What was that about?

 

The green sister beside the table spoke solomnly and clearly, “Whom do you bring with you, Sister?”

“One who comes as a candidate for Acceptance, Sister,” replied Larindhra.

“Is she ready?”

“She is ready to leave behind what she was, and, passing through her fears, gain Acceptance.”

“Does she know her fears?”

“She has never faced them, but now is willing.”

“Then let her face what she fears.”

 

Rochel was still pondering the strange look when Larindhra turned back to her and instructed her to remove her clothing.  Shaking her head, she hurriedly did so, feeling only a little embarassed as she stood there naked.

 

“The first time is for what was. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.”

 

[Arath Faringal]

Rochel rubbed her temples gently as the wagon bumped down the dusty road.  What had that light been?  So strange ... already it was fading from memory, until she was sure she had just imagined it.  Shaking the strangeness from her head, Rochel turned around to look at the rest of the caravan. 

 

Her family's trade caravan was getting a late start today, but they would still be able to reach Lugard by evening.  Provided nothing else happened along the way.  The journey from Caemlyn had just been one problem after another, with wheels and axles breaking, sudden changes in the weather, and all other manner of mishaps.  This morning one of the horses and lost a shoe, and they'd had to delay departure to replace it.

 

"Are we there yet?" came a small voice from beside her.  Rochel turned to her little brother, Daeric, with a smile.  "You know, I hear Lanfear likes to eat little boys that ask the same question over and over."  Daeric only stuck his tongue out.  He was getting too old to believe that sort of nonsense anyway. 

 

The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.

 

Rochel twisted around to look for whoever had just spoken.  The voice seemed ... familiar.

 

"What are you doing?" asked Daeric.

 

"Oh, I thought I heard Lanfear coming." 

 

Daeric spun around in his seat so quickly that Rochel couldn't help but laugh.  Maybe he wasn't too old to frighten yet.

 

Sudden shouts drew both of their attention to the front of the column.  Rochel stood in her seat to better see what was going on.  Another one of her brothers was racing back from the front, bouncing in his saddle. 

 

"Bandits!" he yelled.  "A large group on horseback, coming fast!  Everyone ready weapons!"

 

Rochel fumbled under her seat for the crossbow that was stored there.  It wasn't a very powerful one, but still more than enough to do the job.  Daeric looked up at her with anxious eyes.  "Don't worry," she said, patting him on the head.  "I won't let anything happen to-"

 

She trailed off as she saw a silver arch appear a short distance from the road.  Be steadfast ...  Without realizing it, she climbed off the wagon and began to move toward the arch.  A small hand grabbed her arm.  "Where are you going Rochel?  Don't leave me!"  Rochel blinked in confusion and looked at her distraught little brother.  Then she looked past him to see a group of horsemen thundering down the side of the hill on the other side.  Tears in her eyes she pulled free and ran toward the arch, flinging the crossbow aside and hiking up her skirt to run faster.  She tried to ignore the screams coming from behind her.  As well ignore a knife in your chest.

 

She thought she heard the cries cut off abrubtly as she tripped and fell through the arch.  The blinding light that consumed her felt fitting.  It dissolved her into nothingness ... better than she deserved.

 

~~~~~

 

An eternity later, Rochel flew out of the archway and landed hard on the ground, bouncing and rolling almost to the wall.  She stayed down, head tucked in and tears rushing unhindered down her face.  Oh light ... I'm sorry Daeric.  How could she have done that.

 

A sudden splash of cold water shocked her to her senses.  “You are washed clean of what sin you may have done and of those done against you. You are washed clean of what crime you may have committed, and of those committed against you. You come to us washed clean and pure, in heart and soul.”

 

Rochel wiped the water from her face, glad it concealed her tears.  Larindhra stood next to her and helped her onto unsteady feet.  "Did I really just ... Was that ..."

 

"Was it real?  Almost every girl who comes out of that arch asks the same thing.  But we do not know.  It may be.  It may only be a reflection of what could have been.  It is impossible to say.  But it can be endured.  It must be endured."

 

Rochel blinked more tears from her eyes and looked back at the ter'angreal.  "I left him alone.  They ..."

 

"It will pass in time child.  Are you ready to go on."  Rochel nodded numbly.  "The second time is for what is.  The way will come but once.  Be steadfast.”

 

Rochel stepped forward and let the light burn her to ash.

[Arath Faringal]

Rochel stumbled forward, awkwardly trying to catch her balance.  Finally steadying herself against a wall, she turned back to see what had caused her to trip.  There was nothing there.  Odd ...

 

Putting the strange episode out of her head, she shifted the basket on her arm and continued onward.  She was supposed to find something ... but what?

 

The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.

 

Shaking that strange thought out of her head, she thought of what she would find when she arrived home.  Little Selena was nearly a year old now, but she already bore quite a resemblance to her mother.  The same eyes, exact same hair color, nearly matching skin tone ... Rochel loved her dearly.  It was hard to believe how her life had changed since escaping from Tar Valon.  Three years ago, but it seemed a lifetime to her.  She had managed to slip away shortly after being raised to Accepted, and created a new life for herself in Altara.

 

There were times that she regretted leaving, maybe just a little.  She wished she knew a little more about the one power.  How to do certain things.  She had to fumble her way through things now, failing more often than not, and not daring to try other things like healing.

 

She was nearly back to her home when shouts reached her ears and drew her from her thoughts, and she hurried onward to see what the fuss was.  It sounded as though her fool of a husband was arguing with someone again.  She loved him dearly, but the man could be infuriating at times!  As she rounded the last bend in the road, her breathe caught in her throat.  Albrecht stood in front of their home, waving a pitchfork menacingly at a pair of rough looking men who Rochel did not recognize.  Another man with a cudgel was creeping up behind him. 

 

Her cries came too late, and Davian collapsed to the ground, blood gushing from his head.  Basket thrown to the side of the road, Rochel embraced Saidar and ran forward.  One of the dirty men pointed toward her, motioning the other two to deal with her, then stepped inside, giving her husband a good kick on the way by.  Rochel ran forward, tears in her eyes, ready to destroy all of them.  She had to reach them before they did anything else!  Light, Selena was inside all alone!

 

Regretting that she didn't know any battle weaves, Rochel settled for the basics.  Air reached out and solidified striking one of the men on the side of the head.  He collapsed in a heap, never knowing what hit him.  His companion stared in disbelief, then turned to run with a shout.  Rochel reached out again and snared his feet with air, bringing him crashing to the ground, his face slamming into the muddy ground.  The third man stuck his head out of the doorway, wondering what had happened.  Another flow of air snared him by the head, pulling him out of the door and snapping his neck. 

 

Racing forward, she knelt next to her fallen husband, careless of the blood and mud staining her dress.  She quickly checked his head wound, a nasty thing that was still bleeding horribly.  "Light, I don't know what to do!  I don't know how to heal this!"  She heard her baby crying inside, and instinctively looked up to see where Selena was.  Out of the corner of her eye she saw a silver shimmer.  An archway appeared a dozen paces away.  "No!  I can't!  I have to ..."  She fell backwards, torn between an instinct to enter that archway, and her desire to help. 

 

Davian stirred on the ground and opened his eyes, a pleading look on his face. "Rochel ..." he whispered hoarsely.

 

With a sob, Rochel scrambled to her feet and stumbled toward the arch.  Her daughter's cries echoed in her ears before the light consumed her.

 

~~~~~

 

Rochel fell out of the archway and collapsed on the ground in sobs.  She barely noticed as cold water poured over her, didn't even hear the words that the Aes Sedai spoke.  How could I do that?  How could I leave them like that?   She flinched as a hand touched her shoulder.  "Come child.  There is only one left."

 

Rochel just lay there, crying.  "I hate you," she whispered, almost inaudibly between sobs.

 

Larindhra only smiled.  "I expect so.  Almost everyone who goes through this feels the same.  Are you ready to go on?"  When Rochel didn't answer she added, "If you refuse to go on you will be put out of the Tower."

 

"I can't ... I can't stop.  Not after that."

 

"Very well then."  Pulling Rochel to her feet, Larindhra gently nudged her toward the third and final arch.  "The third time is for what will be.  The way back will come but once.  Be steadfast."

 

Rochel nodded miserably, and stepped forward into the blinding light.

[Arath Faringal]

Rochel blinked in surprise at finding herself in the lavishly furnished chamber.  That's strange, she thought.  Why be surprised at my own rooms?  Settling back into her comfortable chair, Rochel looked over the papers in her hand.  Her responsibilities chaffed her sometimes, but they were worth suffering through for the position she now had.  A knock at the door drew her attention from the notes in her hand.  "Enter," she called imperiously.

 

A grey shawled sister entered the room, and Rochel had to fight a sudden urge to rise and curtsy.  Why on earth should she curtsy to another sister? 

 

"Sitter, that matter you asked me to see to is done."

 

"Very good Serasha.  Devora will no longer be a problem?"  The White Sitter had been a thorn in her side for some time now, constantly opposing her in the Hall.

 

"Yes Sitter.  Given her situation, she has come to the ... logical ... decision."

 

Rochel smiled, though she didn't know why she should.  Something about this horrified her.  "I am glad we did not have to resort to even more harsh methods.  All is ready then.  With any luck, that incompetent fool who calls herself Amyrlin will make another blunder soon, and I can remove her from her post."

 

"And fill it yourself, Sitter?"

 

"Should the Hall decide it to be so," Rochel said with a smile.  With Devora no longer a threat, Rochell had no doubt that it would be her.  Anything could happen, but she had no intention of loosening her grip over the rest of the Hall now.  Another thought that strangely seemed to horrify her.

 

A short time later, Rochel found herself in one of the gardens, enjoying some time to herself.  Something was wrong with her today.  Perhaps something she had eaten was affecting her?  She kept thinking of herself as a novice, fighting reactions she had subdued years ago.  She was Sitter of the Grey Ajah, ready to ascend to the Amyrlin Seat!  But why did that thought curdle her stomach all of a sudden?  Why did she not want it when she had spent the better part of a century plotting and schemeing to reach this point?

 

A half concealed flicker in the corner of her eye called her attention to a secluded corner of the garden.  A silver arch she hadn't noticed before stood there.  She ran toward it.  It was important that she get out of here.  With a scream of frustration she plunged through that arch and vanished in a brilliant light.

 

~~~~~

 

Rochel walked out of the archway, a scream of rage erupting from her throat, her face contorted in rage.  "I will never be you!" she yelled.  She fell to her hands and knees, quivering in fury.  I will not become like them!  "Never!"  Glaring around the room, Rochel noticed that it was a lot more crowded than when she had left.  The Amyrlin herself stood in front of her, flanked by a shawled sister of each ajah.  Most of them were looking at her with a very curious expresssion on their faces.  Others looked amused.  Burn them all.

 

The Amyrlin stepped forward holding a large silver cup and poured it out on Rochel's head.  With a hint of a smile she spoke the final words of the ceremony.  "You are washed clean of Rochel Dion of Bandar Eban.  You are washed clean of all ties that bind you to the world.  You come to us washed clean in heart and soul.  You are Rochel Dion, Accepted of the White Tower.  You are sealed to us now."  Those words echoed in Rochel's head like a pronouncement of doom.  The Amyrlin, ignoring the suddenly sick look on Rochel's face, passed the chalice she held to one of the other sisters and took something else from her.  A ring.  Reaching down and taking Rochels hand, she slipped the ring onto the young Domani's finger.  Rochel fought the urge to pull her hand free, knowing that she wouldn't get away with anything in front of the Amyrlin Seat.  The ring felt like a weight on her very soul.  She wanted to sick up.  Allowing herself to be pulled to her feet, she let silent tears fall down her face.  "Welcome, daughter," the Amyrlin said softly as she kissed Rochel on each cheek.  "Welcome."