The Reunion (Attn: Sandre)

[U4ea]

Edana narrowed her eyes as the landscape showed her a banner flying in the breeze just ahead and to her right. The directions she’d received at the last post told her she’d see it, of course, but they hadn’t told her what was on it.

 

“Sandre,” she breathed, seeing his family crest blazing in the fading light. The lion and the anvil, a sea of inky black silk and a red edge that drew the eye inward. The Kaldun crest.  The directions said that the road would curve and she needed to follow it. It wasn’t but a few more miles from this curve, she’d been assured, but she found her horse pulling to a stop as the road bended so she could stare at the house. Dante’s words floated to her from a few months ago, reminding her that Sandre had disappeared to the Borderlands after their last fight. She paused for a little while, her warring emotions battling for attention in her head. Half of her wanted to ride down and find him. The other half wanted to run as far as possible. Sure, the idea had tickled her thoughts when she’d received her assignment to Borderlands, but she’d shut it down rather quickly. He hadn’t written to her. He’d made no reach for her, despite all of Dante’s assurances that he loved her still.

 

She sighed and turned her horse towards the post. Like as not, he wasn’t there, anyway. He was probably stationed farther along the Borderlands and this was just his family home. She arrived at the post a few moments later, smiling at the Guard to ushered her into the check post to sign in. They assigned her a bunk for the night and gave her general directions to find things like the infirmary and the mess hall. She nodded her thanks and started towards the barracks.

 

She just couldn’t shut her thoughts up, though.  She made her way into the Mess Hall instead, humbly taking a plate that was offered to her and settling down with a few other Guards. They didn’t recognize her and she found she enjoyed the anonymity. She inquired about the house and the banner, and the answer she got came with a glower.

 

“Commander Kaldun,” they groaned, almost collectively. “Right glad we are that he chooses to wile his nights away at his family home and leave us some peace. A great strategist, he may be, but his manner leaves much to be desired.”

 

That just didn’t sound like the Sandre she knew. She wrinkled her brow. “So, he does his duty here and then leaves?”

 

“Aye!” the first guard answered with a satisfied sigh. “Thank the Blessed Light for it, too! He’d most likely have us digging trenches in the bog before sunup if he didn’t have to ride back every morning!”

 

Edana shook her head, determined she as avoiding him.

 

“You’re just sore because he actually followed through on your penance,” another guard said as he joined them. They seemed a good natured bunch, but there was apparently some discord on this topic.

 

“Aye,” the second guard said, the expression in his voice changing completely. What in the name of the Light…?

 

“You’ll not find a better man to serve under,” the first said. “I reserve the right to be angry about that night of digging trenches, though. He let the lot of you off far too easy!”

 

They continued in this new vein for nearly an hour. Edana’s head hurt by the time she’d removed herself. She muttered all the way to the barracks, intent on finding her bunk and forgetting about her former lover. There was no reprieve there, though, as their loud enforcement of how loyal and resolute Sandre was echoed in her ears. They were all proud to serve under him, proud to call him their commander. They were sure of him, positive that he’d never betray them. She fumed.

 

It took another ten minutes and she’d had enough. She stormed through the barracks and out to the stables. She didn’t bother giving the boys in the stable a chance to saddle her horse, either. Once saddled, she swung herself in and started back down the road towards the Kaldun crest she’d seen earlier. She rode hard all the way to the entry way and tied her horse off with jerky motions. She banged on the door, probably a little harder than necessary. A small woman answered the door and timidly showed her to a study where she said Master Sandre was. She stood in the open doorway as the woman disappeared, her eyes drinking in the site of him. His back was to her, so he didn’t realize she was there, yet. Light, but he was lovely. Of course, so was a snake in the right light!

 

She stepped into the room, her booted heel making all the noise he needed to hear to know he wasn’t alone anymore. Her head buzzed in a rush of anger she hadn’t felt since she’d attacked Dante in the mess hall. Did he have any idea how badly she’d been hurting since he left?

 

[Sangreal]

Sandre idly scratched the the half a month or so of facial hair he had just not bothered to shave. It wasnt as though he needed to look good for someone. He brushed his bangs out of his eyes and he looked down at the map. Since he had come here he had took time to get to know the men at arms and their likes and dislikes as far as posts went and dont his best to accommodate them. It made them happy. At least he was making someone happy.

 

Gazing down at the map with postings and units along with Trolloc movement he looked at the space between the wall of his families lands and mountains that hid the blight. That stretch of land. A days ride worth was his real problem. One he was determined to solve before he left. If that land could be secured the Trollocs would have to seek another area to gather villagers for their food. It would hurt them. Hurt them badly.. but it was too big for a wall. Towers could be taken in stealth, men could be surprised in camps. It needed to be a kill zone for Trollocs but troops from nearby houses would need to pass through safely. Despite the impossibility of building such a large wall to those mountains he was having one built anyways in case he could find no other ideas.

 

He scratched his beard again. It always itched in hot rooms. He turned his attention to the lack of men at arms. His families lands were not big enough to make a larger training camp and losses from that campaign him and Visar just finished made securing their own land hazardous at best. His troops were spread out training villagers how to leave and escape quickly if an attack came. He sighed. So much expected of him. They had the money. They didnt have the bodies.

 

He looked towards his sword propped against the map table. He wanted to drop this and train but duty came first. Reaching into his pocket he felt the braid and took a moment to remember better days. He heard the door to the manor open and close. The echo made his sword fall over which caught him by surprise. It had not happened before. Doing the math in his head the odds were against it ever happening. Something to think on when he had time to think. Releasing the braid of hair he bent over to set the sword back. The weight of it comforting. Shienar superstition said when a blade fell over pain was coming for its owner. Like his life this last year had been anything other than pain. Setting it back up he resolved to get a rack for it in the morning. He scratched his face one more time and ran his hand through his hair and back to his neck which was sore from looking down on maps. As he rubbed out the soreness he heard a click. He didnt turn around. He didnt bother to think on it or he may have recognized the sound as soldiers boots. Instead he thought it was Liza bringing tea.

 

"Just leave it on the table by the door Liza... Thanks."

 

He felt uncomfortable ordering the house servants around. He had increased their wages but felt he had not done enough for them. He had made silos for rice to store food for the population on his land and still he wanted to do more. He didnt want them to starve or suffer as he had. When Liza didnt answer he turned around.

 

Edana stood there and his heart jumped painfully. He grabbed it for a moment and let go as it began to race. His eyes were wide and subconsciously he reached for the braid for a second and released it. He would never doubt that superstition again as pain settled on him and threatened to crush him. He stood paralyzed barely seeing her and seeing her only in the arms of Bryiam. What part of his mind did see her, did not believe.

[U4ea]

Edana fought the lurch in her chest and focused on the rage. She fed it into the Spring, but the urges were just too much for her to stop. Apparently, she needed more time to get this under control. She crossed the space between them quickly, ignoring the shock and pain she saw reflected in Sandre’s eyes. Light, but even as scruffy as he was, she wanted to kiss him!

 

That only made her more angry, though and she balled her fists up at her side. She’d thought about this a lot over the last year. She paused a breath away from him, her mind dancing between wrapping her arms around him and…

 

Her fist flew, landing squarely on his jaw and sending him sprawling. “That’s for leaving me,” she said. She straddled his torso, easily pulling the blade she’d spent so long creating for him from her belt. The blade was a bit too long for a belt knife, it was more like a short sword, but the ebony handle was inlaid with rubies and a painstakingly etched copy of his family crest in ivory embedded in the center. She’d taken to wearing it to remind her of her folly, but this… She buried it next to his head on the floor. “ That’s for not believing in me and thinking the worst when you knew damned good and well how very much I loved you,” she’d leaned close, so she didn’t say it loudly. She pushed away from him, her braid swinging as she turned and walked back to the door. “And this is me leaving you for a change. Your brother doesn’t know you as well as he thinks he does.”

 

She turned and walked back out the door, heading towards the front of the house and her horse with a single-minded determination.

 

~Edana

[Sangreal]

So the punch was a bit unexpected. Her not being a hallucination was sort of unexpected though too. He had thought he was not getting enough sleep or something to start seeing her when he was awake as well. Realizing that she was storming out he didnt take the time to rub his jaw. He eyed the dagger a moment though and wondered how long it took her to save up to have such a thing made. He went to pick it up until he thought about who probably made it. His mind fought him. It was rather cruel that she would bring him a gift made by Bryiam after what she had done. He didnt touch. He left there as he pursued her down the hallway.

 

When she finally came into sight he yelled down the hall way for her. "Edana please stop!" When he caught up to her he placed his hand on her shoulder to stop her to which she dropped her shoulder so his hand slipped without even breaking stride. He got in front of her and walked backwards holding up his hands. "Edana by the creator just please stop and listen for a moment." She seemed as though she didnt even hear him. Getting about ten feet in front of her he feel to his knees in front of her. Servants and Guards gasped. He had never kneeled before anyone before. "Edana please... Im begging you." nor had he ever begged... but she did stop. "Edana... please you dont know what I saw in the Blacksmith the night I left... and after I got here and had time to think about it I realized it didnt matter..." he hoped that whatever she was doing with Bryiam all that time that she remembered she had done something with him that night so she would know what he was talking about. "Edana you may have loved me once but I never stopped loving you. I was so afraid of losing you." he rarely admitted fear. "When I realized that night that I already had I didnt know why you had not left me yet... I thought you may have felt sorry for me... I didnt want to be your burden like you thought you would be mine. I left because I thought that would be what you wanted. Light Edana I wish I hadnt." Tears came to his face. He didnt care who saw. "You can have whoever you want and I wont say a word." He didnt know which of the servants gasped. "Just please Edana... I cant go on living because I am not with you and I cant bare the thought of dieing and losing a chance to prove to you that I still love you."

 

He had forsaken all pride and honor he had. Yet even on his knees as he stared at the ground breathing heavy with the pain that tried to close up his throat he felt it wasnt enough.

[U4ea]

Edana stopped, mostly because the glare of the guards ahead of her told her she wasn’t going to get anywhere past them. She turned and saw Sandre on his knees, fighting to keep from wrapping her arms around him. She paced, instead. His words flowed through her and she curled her hands into fists as she paced back and forth again. She felt caged. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling. The sheer amount of loyalty that kept her here nearly choked her.

 

When his words stopped, she turned back to him. Her heart ached, but her head wouldn’t let her bend. Not anymore. “You stupid fool,” she said, her voice hissing between her teeth. “I spent months learning sword smithing from that Smith. I’d finally gotten good enough that he trusted his apprentice to watch over me to make sure I didn’t burn the place down. What you saw that night was a stupid boy making a stupid boy mistake that he will NEVER make again. Do you know why? Because you turned your back before you saw the rest of that little ugly scene, didn’t you?” She moved closer, leaning down so she could drop her voice. The tone was menacing and ugly. She felt much like she had the months after he left and it shocked her how quickly she dropped back into that horrible place. It felt good, though. Dangerous, but good. “I beat him within an inch of his life for laying his hands on me. My hands were a disaster when I came back to the barracks, so much so that I did everything I could to hide them from you to keep you from finishing what I started.”

 

She stepped back, not trusting herself to be so close to him again. The pine scent of him tickled her nose and she had to turn away as she resumed her pacing. “I finished my training, made that blade, just the way I planned. Light help, but the hours I worked earning the money to pay for those jewels. After you left, I thought you’d just needed space, that you’d come back. But you didn’t, did you? You didn’t even have the nerve to tell me that you were running away. You just disappeared. You left me, Sandre. You left me to bear the brundt of being cast aside by you, to listen to the nasty rumors about why you left and where you’d gone. You left me there like a sack of unwanted goods, to rot in the damnation of an entire Yard of Guards dedicated to you. Their self-righteous…” she stopped and hissed in irritation. “They all believed you, Sandre. Not a single one would even consent to talk to me the whole time you’ve been gone. At least until I attacked Dante, then at least he’d listen to me!”

 

“He said you were slowly killing yourself here, that you mourned the loss of our love. I didn’t believe it and…” she looked down at him, still on his knees. She sighed and dropped, sitting in the dirt and crossing her legs. “What do you want from me, Sandre? I grow weary of fearing the day will come when you walk out the door again.” She wasn’t handing him the ammunition she had. She wasn’t pulling the ring from its home on a strap under her shirt, she wasn’t telling him that she’d longed for him since the day he left, and she sure wasn’t telling him how many times she and Dante had discussed this. Or how many times Dante had called her “sister.” Or how badly she wanted to wrap herself around him and not let go.

 

 

~Edana

[Sangreal]

Sandre looked up when she sat down with him. He felt and looked detroyed and defeated. (Did she really not believe him? Does she believe it now?) he thought. She was still angry with him and he didnt fight it. He would let her do as she wanted as long as there existed a chance of having her back. He loved her. So much so that he was not sure he wouldnt grab his sword and wander off into the Blight alone if she rejected him again. When she asked what he wanted he almost choked trying to answer. His throat was closed and it took a moment.

 

"I wont leave." he couldnt think of anything intelligent to say. He knew that wouldnt be enough. He couldnt think for the life of him and in this case he very well felt it was for his life he must speak. "What do YOU want? You want to go to taverns then go to taverns. You didnt touch me those last few months and if you want you wouldnt have to ever again. If I hear any rumors I will thrash the man who spreads him then ask you about them. Even if you want a lover other than myself I will try and endure that pain as long as I possibly can and you wouldnt even have to hide it from me. I will tell you when I cant take anymore and then you can decide what happens to us..." He wasnt sure if what he was saying was enough or not. "I know what I lost... I know..." he lowered his head again whispering the last words. He jammed his hand into his pocket to clutch the braid. Trying to find the flame and the void and failing.

 

He looked back up as inspiration struck him. His eyes wide. "I will go to the Blight for you and claim the lives of a hundred Dark Fiends... for love... no man can make a claim like that." His pupils narrowed to points as the void finally came over him. His hand curled remembering the feel of his sword. He saw straight through her as though he were already searching the Blight. If he was supposed to see a look to tell him not to from her he didnt see it. He didnt see her anymore. Though he knew she was there. He was on his feet faster than a man with a Trolloc charging him. In three large quick steps he was back across the room. "Liza have someone ready my horse and supplies." He scared her to death. He was aware Edana was behind him and he turned to her smiling. The warm smile not matching at all the look in his eyes. The look of a man seeking blood. "I will make it right again. I will prove to you that everything will be fine." He strode down the hall. His steps long and fast. Fast enough for most to have to run to keep up. His cloak flaring behind him.

 

Sandre

Has finally snapped...

[U4ea]

Edana could only stare at him. Did he truly think she wanted any of those things? She opened her mouth to tell him so and he leaped up, shouting some nonsense about the Blight. She stared after him some more, not believing she was watching him leave her again. Her anger flared and she surged to her feet. She shot the girl, Liza he kept calling her, a withering look and the girl actually turned and hid from her. Well and so, she thought, her stride stretching out to follow Sandre.

 

The look in his eyes…

 

She shook her head and started running to catch him. When he’d cleared the house on the way to the stable, she yelled his name, drew her sword and launched herself at him. He turned and she pushed him to the ground, landing on top of him with her sword clenched in her hand in the dirt. She moved it, quickly, before he caught his breath, laying the blade against his throat this time. “You stupid man,” she muttered. “You think getting yourself killed is going to prove anything to me except that you’ve truly lost your mind? Master Kynwric said I needed a man and I’m like to agree with him. I had hoped you’d become one this last year, but all I see is insanity there.” She leaned close, meeting his eyes so he could see the rage boiling just out of reach.

 

“You listen to me and you listen to me well. All I have wanted since the day we met was you. Even when I was so mad I could think of nothing but beating you senseless, I still wanted you. Even now, when you’ve so obviously lost your mind, I don’t want to consider another man in my life. I don’t want to live another day without feeling your lips on my skin. I don’t want to face another morning without your smile on the pillow next to mine. I spent a year in that smithy, working my fingers to the bone so that I could be with you in nearly every possible way. I wanted to have something that I could share with you, some common ground for us to walk on. I spent every waking minute, worked from before sunup to well after sun down… and all for you. That blade you left in your office… I made it, Sandre. Me.”

 

Tears of frustration filled her eyes and she choked back a sob. She felt like she’d been through hell and here he was, intent on getting himself killed. She looked at the blade in her hand, but her anger was gone, flushed away by sorrow, regret and a tide of tears she hadn’t cried. It hit her then, all of the pent up emotion she’d been holding in since before the fight that had torn them apart. It rushed through her, making her weak. She dropped the sword, the lovely sword he’d given her the day she’d been promoted to Guard and they could live the life they’d been planning in the training Yards. She slumped against his chest, inhaling the heady pine scent that clung to him even here. She cried until she couldn’t, anymore, deep racking sobs she hadn’t heard from her lips since her father had died so long ago. It was cleansing, but exhausting and she sighed as it wrung out of her.

 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered against his neck.

 

~Edana

 

[Sangreal]

Sandre didnt bother to fight her when she knocked him down. As long as it made her happy he would endure whatever she wanted. He was surprised to hear she had made that weapon but it barely registered comparing to touching her again. When she began to cry he couldnt help wrapping his arms around her and running her fingers through her hair. As she cried out a year worth of pain a year worth of his own left him. Muscles he had not known were tense relaxed and sanity took its hold back on him. He was aware though that he really would have tried to live up to what he said about going to the Blight. He would have walked right out of here this very day into the mouth of the enemy... for her.

 

He squeezed her tightly and waited until she stopped crying. They laid on the hall way floor there for he wasnt sure how long but when she finally relaxed he spoke. "You know... you could have said something before I felt I had to surpass every sacrifice more and more up to a hundred kills in the Blight." The look she gave him was more of the Edana he remembered. He still looked tired and sad. He felt sad still at least, but only because of what they had to go through to learn to be better for each other.

 

"Im sorry Edana. I will make it up to you if you give me a chance." He knew she would use that to her advantage until they were both senile. She loved to have leverage with him. It was a game they had both played with each other the whole time they were together.

[U4ea]

Edana shook her head, closing her eyes. “No,” she whispered. “I don’t want anything made up. I don’t want anything hanging over us. I don’t want one more day of looking backwards. This isn’t a competition, Sandre!”

 

She pushed herself upright and leaned her head against the wall. It gave her a good view of him laying there. “Your brother thinks we’re both idiots,” she said, shaking her head. “I’m inclined to agree with him, though I promise I won’t talk to you for a month if you tell him I said so.”

 

“I want peace,” she said, meeting his gaze. “I want to be happy for real, not just happy until the next fight. Can you do that? Can you set aside all of this one-up-manship and just be… happy?”

 

~Edana

 

[Sangreal]

The cold of stone floor finally chilled him enough to get up and walk over to Edana. He pulled her up by the hand and did not let go as he started back towards his room up stairs. He didnt intend to try and get her in bed. Instead he had balcony there that over looked a pine grove and garden. He also had a sitting room which he actually used more for work. Liza came down the hallway a little surprised to see him smiling. "Liza can your bring some... wine to my sitting room please?.. and have my horse unsaddled? Edana says she will settle for no sex life so I wont need to go to the Blight." Edana may not have appreciated the joke. He didnt bother looking. However he did it for Liza in this case. The poor old woman must have got quite a fright.

 

"Now to your question... honestly I was letting you win once and for all... I dont have any fight left in me and I know you like to win." He smiled slightly at her as he led her upstairs. "You wont get any more fighting from me Edana Keller... no... Im not going to bother yelling before I turn you over my knee and spank you when you anger me."

 

He unlocked his door and regretted not letting some servants in to clean it. It wasnt bad. Just looked lived in. Unusual for his usually obsessive cleanliness. It was his though. For as long as he was alive. On the wall was the banner he had taken in the campaign him and Visar had been in. He saw Edana look at it so he commented. "I was a fool... I wanted to die so badly I led from the front at first. The men loved me for it but a good commander does not risk letting his men fall into disarray by putting his life on the line. I had got so deep in their ranks I made it to their banner. Almost got my wish that day."

 

He walked out onto the balcony where there were a few tables. It reminded him of the night with her at the ball. In long clay boxes he had his personal garden of the various spices he enjoyed and Ivy grew on the rails and hung off of them. The flowers were in bloom on those.

 

"I am tired with feeling hurt and empty inside... I have seen... horrible things Edana... and when I saw those things... the things we argued about so much just didnt seem to matter any more... I regretted them all and replayed them in my mind over and over about how I should have handled it. I hate myself right now. I hate myself for leaving. I hate myself for taking away things from you that I will not take away again." He was speaking of love, adoration, security. Only his eyes said what those things were. She had always known how to read those.

[U4ea]

Edana let him lead her upstairs, ignoring his crack to Liza in light of her exhaustion. She looked around her with no small amount of shock at the state of his room, though. It wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t… well, it wasn’t Sandre. She eyed the banner hanging on the wall, recognizing the sight of bloodstains. She shuddered, not sure she wanted to hear the details of that story. Dante had been right, apparently. Sandre had been out to kill himself. It was little wonder the guards at the post held him in such high esteem.

 

She followed him onto the balcony and stood next to him, staring down at the beauty of the garden below without really seeing it. She looked up to meet his eyes, seeing everything she’d missed shining back at her. She closed her eyes and turned back to the gardens. For all her talk of not wanting to look backwards, the ache of the pain she’d carried with her beckoned.

 

“I hated you,” she said softly. “I moved out of our room that night, so I didn’t realize you were gone for over a week after you’d left. I spent half the year not knowing where you were, no one telling me anything. I was so angry. I picked a fight with Master Kynwric, then another with Dante. I hated him, too. I spent most of my time either in the infirmary or in the smithy, when I wasn’t on the walls or training. I skipped meals, lost so much weight I had to buy new clothes, and hated you for that, too. I hated you for the dreams that haunted my nights and the rumors that filled my days. I dreamed of finding you, someday and beating you the way I beat Bryiam.” She shook her head, her eyes still pinned on the flowers below. “It was a little better after Dante and I recovered from our… discussion, but I could still feel the tension. He added to it, though I know he tried not to. Pain, guilt, anger, helplessness… it was a horrible collection of misery and I hated you for that all over again. I poured myself into everything I did, praying for a few blessed moment’s respite from thinking about you.”

 

She looked up at him and sighed. “And yet, all I want to do is hold you and tell you it’s going to be ok. My assignment in the Blight, your work here… it’s going to pull us apart again, for a time. I just…” she rubbed her temples and looked away again. “I’m so confused…”

 

~Edana

 

[Sangreal]

Sandre nodded. "Your time was as rough as mine it sounds like. Dante was right. We were both fools." He walked up and wrapped his arms around her. It was what they both had wanted for so long. It did seem to help her relax a bit. He noticed the changes in himself all this had brought himself. He had always been so tense and even a little afraid when he held her. Afraid he would lose her. Now though, he had lost her already and just wanted nothing more than to be near her.

 

"We have been through worse... I will be here for months yet. You can visit between campaigns and I will likely catch you once or twice where ever the fighting is." Reassuring her it wouldnt be like when he went to the Borderlands the first time seemed to help a bit. They would see each other. He was just not sure of in what capacity. Would he see her as her man or her friend? That would be on her. She already knew he wanted to be with her again.

 

"Things will be different... now that we know what we have lost. I dont ever want to go through this again. There is absolutely nothing in the world worth this." He hoped that would do it...

 

 

[U4ea]

Edana sighed, taking comfort in his arms. It felt good to be here and she wished it did more than just further add to her confusion. He was right, though. Things would be different. Just... how different? She was harder than she had been, not as easy to give. She hadn't laughed as much, though she'd tried valiantly. If she noticed it, then she was pretty sure she wasn't alone there. It was probably the reason the Captain had assigned her to the post he had.

 

"I'm not rushing this," she said softly. "I can't just forget what the last year has been like for me. I don't want to ever feel that way again, but I feel like I just got my feet back under me. I'm not sure..." she paused and closed her eyes. She'd become blunt since he left. She told people exactly what she thought. She hadn't even realized it until her feelings for Sandre made her stop before she said this. It wasn't going to stop her from saying it, though. She hoped he understood that it wasn't meant to hurt him. She was only being honest. "I'm not sure I trust you not to hurt me like that, again."

 

She held her breath, waiting on his answer to that. She was glad she hadn't had to look at him to see the effect those words would have on him. His voice held so much hope...

 

~Edana

[Sangreal]

Sandre's hand which had been stroking her hair and back stopped when she said what she had said. Only for a second. He was glad he didnt jump at the surprise but he came close. His heart sunk. He well and truly had lost her forever. At least he knew. He didnt want to cling to hope. Feel it torment him daily. Drive him to that place again. It was closure.

 

Sandre nodded. "Then I set your heart free Edana." He didnt stop holding her. He didnt want to let go. He knew now this was the last time he would ever hold her again. It couldnt be easy on her either though. "It will be ok." he said trying to reassure himself as much as her.

 

He was growing weaker. Emotions strained to come out and the flame and the void were not reachable. He pulled away and took her hand as he led her towards the door. "I will see you when I can... I apologize but I need time to think and deal..." his mind went back to the first time they had met. He couldnt handle it then either. "You will write me I hope?... I will worry if you dont."

 

He got her to the door of the manor and stopped as the guards opened the door. "I will always be near when you need me." he said. Something inside him told him it was the truth. They always were near each other when one needed the other. He wasnt sure she would see that, even if she did she might try to find a way to explain it. As he released her hand and gave her a last hug he slipped the lock of hair she had given him into her pocket so she wouldnt notice. She could give it back when they belonged to each other again.

[U4ea]

Edana stood on the outside of the door, completely unsure of what had just happened. She laid her hand on the door in shock. He'd pushed her out, dismissed her like...

 

She felt the tears welling again and her fist balled up into a tight fist. "You can't dismiss me so easily," she said. She wasn't whispering, but she didn't scream, either. Something told her he hadn't moved away from the door. The guards looked at her strangely, but she shot them a look that dared them to say something about it. They wisely chose not to. "How can you speak of love in one breath and show me the door when I answer you honestly? Light help, but you're the most infuriating man I've ever met!"

 

She banged her fist on the door. "I'll go, but let's get one thing straight, Kaldun. Should I die out here, you're all I have left. I am leaving orders for my affairs, so you're stuck with them. There isn't much, but then... there never had been." She leaned her forehead on the door, then pressed her lips to it. "I love you, Sandre," she whispered, letting the tears slip past her lids. "For good or ill, I meant what I said. I don't want to see another sunrise without your smile on the pillow."

 

She backed away, not looking at the guards again. She felt a weight that was wholly unfamiliar in her pocket and fished her hand in it. The lock of hair she'd given him before his first trip to the Blight came free of the fabric. She shook her head at the door. He really had dismissed her from his life. She dropped the lock in the dirt before she turned away, reaching for the horse she'd left tethered before the house and pulling herself into the saddle. "Goodbye, Sandre."

 

She turned the horse and headed back to the post, too tired to argue, anymore and too angry to think past finding a bunk for the night. The sun was setting and her heart was aching. "Just let me find an empty bunk with some measure of privacy before I head out to my post tomorrow," she murmured, promising herself a respite... in whatever form it took.

 

~Edana

[Sangreal]

*** Two Months Later ***

 

She had not wrote him. Not one letter. For a couple weeks he went through life like no one was home. Going through muscle motions and instinct. It wasnt as bad as when they first broke up. He wrote letters for her. As soon as she wrote he would know where her post was and he planned to send them all. One a day though sometimes they went on for pages. He found little things or made little things too. He had written her poetry on a sheet of thin gold he had hammered out and set the letters in silver. It wasnt perfect. He wasnt ever going to tell her how many attempts it took him. He talked about the times they had. Favorite memories in his letters. Though never about his feelings. It would not be right to burden her with those when she must fight. He had painted a small picture. It wasnt great. Two lions laying side by side. Heads pressed together as though they were lovers. He painted their eye colors to match his and hers. He thought it was pretty accurate. He had 60 letters now. Covering a couple hundred pages with special papers and inks and little trinkets he had picked up that reminded him of her or something they had done and so he started putting them in books and bags. When she didnt write after a month he set out to find her on his horse.

 

It had been a month of looking though. She was alive... or at least she was two weeks ago when he lost his last sign of her before she passed into the Blight. He would have caught her had he not run into a small group of Trollocs guarding a pass he needed to get through. It took him days of sneaking around and making traps to kill them all. He passed graves in the Blight. Some freshly dug and others freshly dug up. None were hers though. His memory of the place served him well though the pattern her company was moving in was rather erratic. Sometimes stopping at a water hole of decent water then avoiding another one entirely for no reason or explanation. Signs of battle. More than once he found her tracks, or the place she lay her head for a night. Strapped horizontal along the back of his belt was the dagger she had left. It had saved him once already and claimed the life of a Trolloc. He felt it was lucky and would touch it on occasion. The urgency he moved with now made his heart pound. He knew her companies scouts had died days ago. Ambushed and killed before they could draw their swords. Sandre had found the bodies but there wasnt much left. Her company was moving blind and with numbers that Sandre wouldnt have chanced on his best day. He had a feeling, they might be lost.

 

His first sign was that they headed deeper into the Blight and turned around to come back. Sandre would have gained a day there had he not had to go make sure her body wasnt out there somewhere. He lost a day when he ran into trouble and had to sneak back out. It cant really be called sneaking either when you leave a body every few miles. His urgency now was that they were headed back into the Blight only this time they were being pushed into it by Trollocs on their tails. All the work he had done to cut off the Trolloc food supply and his true love was about to become that supply.

 

He found the Trollocs first... or rather their scouts first then the main body of the Trollocs. It took him three more days to do so. He memorized the place. Just below a cliff face. His heart pounded as he saw they were already eating some of the Soldiers. He was distressed Edana may be one of them. Then hours later he found the Soldiers camp. A scattering of a hundred or so tired, injured, and scared men. He didnt envy Edana being the only woman among them... if she were alive still. As he approached he put his mon on his spear so they would recognize him. A blue flag with a silver border and seven silver stars. Below that was his house mon. The Lion and Anvil. It didnt seem to matter though. The soldier screamed "Fade!" and all hell broke loose.

 

Heart was unfortunately black. Sandre barely had time to scream "Wait!" before a cross bow bolt hit Heart followed by a spear. Sandre barely scrambled out of his saddle before his companion since he left home all those years ago fell to the tainted soil screaming and dieing. He rose and drew his sword at the same time. Their second clue should have been that his blade was almost as shiny as polished silver. Even with it arcing and reflecting light it didnt seem to matter. They came at him and he began to dance like he had never danced before. Constantly backing up so no more than a couple could engage him at a time. Their third hint should have been that he didnt cut any of them instead striking with the broad side of the weapon. It still hurt and put them out of the fight but still. He was thankful for the fact that his armor was master work and the majority of them were wounded already. It made protecting himself easier. He was also on the path of the blade and numbers was that paths specialty. "Will you bloody stop!" he screamed but they werent listening. He heard men on horses coming so his only survival option against cavalry was to be in the middle of soldiers. He dove in swinging and almost lost his head when he saw Edana. She was coming at him until he shouted at her "Edana!" She came to a dead stop. She seemed not to believe it was him so he ducked and pulled the dagger out and threw it so it landed hilt up between her feet. Others were beginning to figure out what was wrong and not engage and others were lost in the blood rage. He wouldnt be able to fight forever, they had wounded him though he did not feel it. He did feel tired though and was not sure if it was from blood loss or from fighting. Likely both. He heard the Cavalry and decided that his only chance was to take a horse and escape though he was not likely to survive it. He gave one final warning. "Enough! Back off or people will start dieing!" Some of the soldiers were trying to stop their friends, but no one was coming to his defense. The ones still fighting were too scared to listen. He turned his sword. People were going to die now.

[U4ea]

Edana stared into the flames, her heart as tired as her body. She'd become the Captain of this little ragtag bunch of soldiers, but she hadn't chosen it. She'd held out as long as she could and that was just guilt she'd have to put off dealing with until they were clear of the Blight again. She heard a commotion behind her, but didn't move. "FADE!" Someone shouted. She sighed. Perhaps they'd all die this time and she wouldn't have to spend her night watch digging graves and praying the Trollocs didn't find them.

 

The commotion continued and she swore, standing and turning in one fluid motion towards the men clustered and swords swinging. She moved towards them, her blade bared. It was very obvious, now that the assailant was on the ground, that this was not a Fade. He was far too short for that. She shook her head, wading into the men who'd made it through horrors she'd have been much happier never to have seen. She eyed the form in the middle of the pack a moment, her blade bare. Then she heard a whistle and a blade landed between her feet. She flicked her gaze down and gasped. Sandre's blade? She blinked a moment, her eyes moving back to the man who's blade had been turned too much to do serious damage. It wasn't turned now, and he looked very angry.

 

"Enough! Back off or people will start dieing!" Some of her men were pulling on the others, but there were still those who had seen to much to ever be healthy again who weren't being stopped.

 

"Aye," she shouted, pushing through them. She'd had to do some serious head-busting in the last few weeks, which is probably the only reason they backed down when she stared at them. "And I'll be the one leaving a snack for the trollocs! You're all daft and going to get us killed, I swear it! We've stayed here too long, I want the lot of you to strike this camp and ready the horses. They may not be ready, but we've no choice. We're following that setting sun and, may the Light strike me down, but we're leaving this cursed place before it's dark! Anyone who lingers will just have to bed the Fades for a mercy. I've not got any of that left."

 

They shot looks at the man behind her, but nodded reluctantly and began to put out fires and tend the horses. She sighed, turning back to the man behind her and handing him the dagger back. "You've got strange timing, Kaldun," she said softly. "You've been following for a while, haven't you?" She nodded to his horse before kneeling next to him. "I'm sorry for this," she said, shaking her head. "My men have been on edge since..."

 

She shook her head, her hand brushing the mane of the great animal before her. "We've not had a good go of this. To be honest, I don't even know what our mission here was. If it was losing most of a company to trollocs, including everyone single man of rank in it, then I daresay we've succeeded." She looked up at him, much slower this time. "I am glad to see you," she said. She wasn't lying. She wished he wasn't here, in the certain death she'd come to expect any moment, but she couldn't stop herself from being happy to see him.

 

She knelt in the dirt, there by his now-dead horse, her braid hardened with dried blood and... worse, her clothes torn, a few fresh cuts and scars littering her skin, a particularly ugly one on her forehead from hitting a rock a few days ago. She'd cared for her sword more than anything else and that she returned to the scabbard on her hip with a fluid, practiced ease. She stood slowly, standing in front of him. The urge to launch herself into his arms and let him tell her that everything was going to be alright was nearly overwhelming. She held back, though. Things hadn't finished well the last time she saw him, after all. "What are you doing here?"

 

~Edana

[Sangreal]

Sandre knelt down by his horse. His friends were too few to begin with but this... He looked up at her. "You didnt write. I told you I would be here when you needed me. I told you I would never leave you." He got up to look at her men. There wasnt much left. He turned to some of her men. They were starving. This campaign wasnt meant to last this long. "Cut this horse up. Will take too long to bury it and I dont want to leave it for the Trollocs." The soldier nodded. Turning back towards Edana he took her hand. She seemed reluctant but he told her "Please... he was my friend..." he led her away from the spot towards the center of the camp where he wouldnt have to see it. He sat down and using various rocks began to form a rudimentary map. As he recalled all the land marks he explained. "You are upset that I had you leave... I had to... I collapsed again knowing you wouldnt be with me. I didnt want you to see it but it didnt mean I wouldnt wait for you or..." He stopped and looked at another soldier passing by. "Retrieve my saddle bags please... I know a way out of here for you all but the Captain and I must resolve something first if we are to work together and I need my saddle bags for that." The soldiers smile and the look in his eyes told Sandre he had made a friend. He ran off immediately. Sandre was silent in making his map until the man got back with his saddle bags. He winced at the blood on them before pulling out the book of letters and bags of trinkets and handed them to Edana.

 

"I wrote you every day. Tried my hand at... various things I found I am not great at for you." It occurred to him that though he tried to keep his feelings for her out of it that hundreds of pages of letters and a small sack of trinkets wrote it out plainer than he could have on paper. Would have been quite romantic he thought if he had done it intentionally. "I wont say anymore about it. I will just say I am sorry. It would have been worse on both of us if you had been there for that. Now please look at this."

 

Edana kneeled down next to him and he started to explain. Other soldiers, squad leaders and whatever else she had designated looked on. "This is the border of old Malkier... you are here." He said as he pointed to an oddly colored rock and drew a line for the border. There was a low groan and wincing among the men. "The sun looks like its in front of you... had you known you were this far out though you would have known the gasses or whatever it is that causes this wheezy stink in the air distorts the sun." He took out a couple gold coins to put them on the map as the sun. "It looks like its here but really its here." he said as he put the second one down. It clicked for some of them, for those that did not understand he explained further. "You entered here." He said pointing to a break in a couple sticks representing the mountain range. That made the rest click. To prove his point he took the small dagger Edana had gave him the first time he went to the Blight and stuck it in the dirt to show them two shadows. "My campaign cut the Trollocs off from their food sources... we figured while the Blight was pretty quiet we would do that and hope they starved to death. Instead they were waiting for another army. They are herding you like cattle to some destination here in the Blight to be a new food source. The Trollocs are here." He said pointing to where he saw them at the cliff face. "Standing between you and a way out of the Blight. You cant keep going the direction you are going."

 

There was some discussion on what to do or if they should even believe him. There was even a mention of him being a Darkfriend. Who else would come out here for one woman other than someone who didnt have anything to fear? Edana gave them a look of murder and quelled that quickly. Sandre could tell some of these guys had more than just a comrade interest in her but tried not to let it bother him. While they exhausted themselves on plans he turned back towards Edana.

 

"Its a shame we have to let them go through this when the only way out I can see is wolves and fire." It was a little used but often talked about retreat strategy. Wolves retreated from fire but did so in small groups that used tactics to kill any thing in their way. It would be perfect to make the Shepards moving this herd have to split up to find them all and put the combat advantage back in their hands. "I know all the choke points we can use but since my coming here in the first place is considered insane if not suicidal or to be the actions of a Darkfriend I will let you explain it." It was also because for keeping this group alive this long she deserved to be the one to pull them out of the fire. When he had finished explaining it all and how he would back her up when she needed it he moved on to other issues that were concerning him.

 

"You thought I was rejecting you didnt you?" he shook his head. "When I feel that way at the moment I feel like I wish I could stop loving you. Then when I am over it I realize that is completely foolish." He said with a smile. He wasnt angry with her. "You said you missed me... wanted to be held by me... then that you didnt trust me and couldnt be with me... I was right back where I started... it changed nothing though. I will pursue you as long as you let me. If you put up too much of a fight though..." He stopped walking and turned to face her. His look would have been serious if his eyebrows were not raised and a slight smile were not on his lips "Then I will have to get you drunk enough to marry me. Then you will be begging me to leave on occasion."

[U4ea]

Wolves and Fire. She closed her eyes and laid her head in her hands a moment, listening to the growing conversation of the few ranking men she had with her. When she opened her eyes, they fell on the pile of letters and things he'd pulled from his saddlebags. Saddlebags from his dead horse. She swallowed hard. She could fall apart soon, she kept promising herself. She just couldn't do it now. Not with so much left to do and a silly thing like surviving this ordeal in her way.

 

She smiled at the pile, nonetheless. He drew her attention back when he asked about her thinking he'd rejected her and she opened her mouth to argue. Then she caught site of the men arguing over his shoulder and the horse being butchered beyond them. She focused back on Sandre and took his face in her hands. She kissed him thoroughly, pouring every drop of emotion she had into it. It was enough to make the arguing stop, at least.

 

"When we're out of this little corner of hell and I'm not covered in blood, dirt and Light knows what else, we're going to sit down and talk about this. All of it. And neither of us is leaving until we're either not talking to each other anymore or kissing each other 'til we're breathless." She didn't even ask if that was ok with him. She'd tie him to a chair, if she had to. "Right now, I want to live to get there. There's a whole lot of Blight and trollocs to get through before we do."

 

She turned to the men who'd gone back to arguing and shook her head, dropping her hands. "Shut up, would you?" She'd stopped being nice long ago. It felt strange with Sandre sitting there, but she didn't have time to change her tactic, now. Desperate times called for desperate measures. "We're getting out of here. You're going to follow my orders when we do. The first order I gave was getting this camp ready to move and if you're standing around arguing, you're not following that direction."

 

They scrambled, leaving her sitting with Sandre again. She sighed and turned back to him. Her tone was tired, even she heard it. "Do you really think splitting this bunch up is a good idea? Are you sure there's no way for us to make it together?"

 

~Edana

[Sangreal]

Sandre nodded. "I look forward to that talk Edana. As for the retreat... I dont see another way that wont lead us to direct confrontation... and there is one more thing you will have to do and I am sorry I must ask you to do it.. but they do not trust me. When they break into groups, you will have to decide on a couple of them to almost certainly die. Some of them will not make the trip anyways. Start with those. Put them in three groups. The Trollocs will search out the freshest tracks in the largest numbers and it will be theirs. We can save seventy percent of the army this way."

 

He couldnt stand the look in her eyes but the numbers he was telling her could be saved were too great to pass up. The groups would move choke point to choke point where they could fight with an advantage if needed. The cavalry would ride in behind those choke points to eliminate small groups of pursuers. The Trollocs would have their noses bloodied and no food to show for their losses. He didnt want to tell her that this was exactly what nobles do. It was how nobles become nobles. Just doing your duty for the greater good. He only wished most nobles would remember their roots.

 

When Edana had made her choices and explained everyone's roles and choke point locations they scattered and started out at as brisk a pace as they could. There wouldnt be much food for them to share but he made sure they would pass water. She was in pain inside for knowing that three of those groups had the odds stacked against them so highly. Even them though Sandre made sure they had a chance albeit little. He took her hand as they walked together to give her strength. He didnt say a word.

[U4ea]

Edana stared at Sandre, wishing he could give her better ideas. He didn’t know these men. He didn’t understand that half of the wounded ones were wounded because they’d been protecting the others. He knew, she was sure. Then she saw the understanding in his gaze. He knew the burden she was about to take on. He knew the choice she had to make and the price she’d be paying for it later.

 

She closed her eyes and sent a prayer to the Creator, begging for forgiveness. Who was she to pass this kind of judgment on someone? She was a peasant, a soldier. Who was she to decide who died and who lived? Seventy percent of the pitiful crew she had wasn’t that many people. She nodded her understanding and acceptance, though, and turned to the other advisors to discuss the groupings. She didn’t tell them why, but they seemed to create the weakest group, themselves. They knew what she was doing when she started dividing the men up. There was little to argue about and the very cold nature of the decision made her skin crawl. She’d never chosen the day someone would die before. She wasn’t terribly fond of it.

 

When the groups were decided, she relayed the points Sandre had outlined, giving orders of where and how to meet. They divided up food stores and she made sure everyone knew where the clean water was on their way. She curled her hand in every man’s grip before they started their departures. She forced herself to look each of them in the eye, knowing their deaths were on her shoulders. “May the Light shine on you and see you safely home,” she said, over and over again. She meant every word.

 

When their group departed, Edana tried to take comfort in Sandre walking alongside her. His hand curled into hers and she fought to take strength from the sureness of his grip. When she heard the clang and screams from up ahead, she fought the urge to rush forward. She did pick up her pace a bit, forcing everyone to keep up with her. If she could save one of them, that was something worth fighting for, right?

 

She bared her sword and clenched her jaw, hearing the shouting growing closer. They weren’t the first group. Had the others before them all been caught like this? She fed her worries, her hunger, her anger into the stream and let the void fill in where it left off. When they stepped into the clearing, she was ready for them. It had the feel of an ambush, so she took stock of the situation as quickly as possible before she turned on the first snouted face she saw. Thoughts of what would come after this were banished as sword forms flowed from her blade, taking down one beastly form after another. Her vacant eyes skimmed over the human bodies she was stepping over, intent to avenge them before she focused on their deaths.

 

A trolloc stepped in her path, armed with a long barrel of a stick that looked like half of a tree in his meaty hands. She dodged it, but the force behind the swings were too much for her weary body to fend off. After a good solid blow landed on her hip, she felt the anger spill from the stream bed and through her conscience. She launched herself at him, releasing the anger in a whirl of bastardized forms that resulted in a heap of blood trolloc landing at her feet. She glanced up, hearing the sounds of battle dying around her and realized that there were no more trollocs in the clearing. There were fewer humans, too. Her eyes automatically moved, searching the bodies still there for Sandre. Once she found him, she moved back to him, her eyes scanning his body to make sure he was still whole. They absorbed the survivors of the two groups who’d been caught by this ambush and continued onward. “That’s all we have left, gentlemen,” she said softly. “Onward to home…”

 

~Edana

 

[Sangreal]

Sandre did not envy the choice Edana had to make. One he had to make all year. He knew what she would be going through. He also knew that they would be among one of the weaker groups. If he had had time to get to know these men maybe he could have saved her the heartache of sending so many to die. She would never count how many she had saved. Sandre never did. Just how many had died. After the first ambush when the men would be in the clear, they would move choke point to hiding point to wherever they were sent. He pulled walked next to her as they went. She turned her head towards him and he knew what she would ask. So he answered. "One hundred twelve... I cant forget them. I remember their faces, their names. I cant tell you if one soldiers life is more valuable than another. All I can do is keep on living and fighting for the ones who died under my orders. You may feel guilt for sending thirty something men to their deaths but remember that if you had not there would be much more. They would have all ended their lives in captivity. Being eaten while they still lived, feeding the enemy, giving them strength to kill even more. Your father had once told me... save one more life, save the world entire."

 

He wasnt sure how she would feel about him quoting her own father. It seemed to help though. When the ambush came Edana seemed lost in a blood frenzy. Sandre stood over the wounded and the weak. Allowing himself to be surrounded to be able to utilize fully the path of the blade. When night fall came and they arrived at the first choke point, a small canyon with an opening  only large enough to barely allow Sandre before it opened up to a size that would allow a single trolloc comfortably or two humans side by side comfortably he spent time just holding Edana. He took first watch. One of the groups who was supposed to die would be coming this way. If there were any survivors that was. Hours went by after they had gone to bed. Sandre sat there. To his surprise four of the men who were not supposed to make it squeezed by quietly. Edana would be thrilled in the morning. Those that were missing were those that were not going to make it anyways. In a stroke of luck, the Trollocs who were not meant to ambush them earlier did so and died. They gained no more than they lost to that ambush. It was still something though.

 

When they left the canyon it became apparent the Trollocs that pursued them had spread out to find the exit of the canyon as they caught them three times in groups of three. Easily dispatching them. They gained hours on their pursuers since they had to figure out they had already passed before they took up the chase again. The cat and mouse game continued for the first week before the groups came back together. This time their enemies were scattered and in much fewer numbers. They would wait for groups or Trollocs that would not be coming back for awhile before they pursued. The numbers were a little better off than Sandre had thought. Still they had more wounded than he had accounted for as well, and still a few more who would not survive the second week. Sandre didnt bother to ask Edana to leave them behind. He would chance the lead to not do that to her.

 

The night the groups had finally come back together, each with a tale of how they used their choke point to their advantage and how many Trollocs they had killed Sandre sat alone with Edana, watching the men celebrate. "They have every reason to celebrate. Their enemies days behind them, home in front of them, and they are alive because Edana Keller stepped up to lead when the leaders died." He knew she would try to pin it on him since it was his plan but he continued. "No dont even say it. My plan would not have been accepted if any other person there had been in command. It took you to make it work. This victory is yours."

[U4ea]

She let them have their smiles, their celebration, their joy of being alive. As long as they didn't have any sneaky bands of trollocs who were closer than the reports of the group leaders made her think, they could afford the luxury of being glad to be alive. She kept herself away, her eyes moving over the men who made it through this horrible week. Some were broken, their shoulders slumped. Others were buoyant, having struck back at those who would see them dead.

 

She could only count the ones who weren't there. Sandre was right, it weighed like a stone in her chest. She could see each face that was missing in her head, accounted for each group the men had been put into and lashed herself internally for each decision that had resulted in one of them not standing with the others.

 

She turned her eyes to Sandre, opening her mouth to argue that she'd likely have led them right into the ambush that had been waiting on them if he hadn't arrived when he did. He didn't want to hear it, though. She shrugged of the cloak of valor he was trying to pin on her shoulders. "

It wasn't brave of me, Sandre. I just didn't want to die. Don't make me a hero for that."

 

She stood after a while, refilling her cup and raising it high. It was only water, but after the time they'd spent in the Blight, it might as well have been the Queen's wine. "A toast," she called out, waiting until every head turned her direction and each cup was in the air. "We have lived through a great horror, and will likely live through more before we lay our heads down on a soft pillow again. Our brothers have fallen, protecting us so that we may taste the freedom we took for granted before we took this mission. And yet, we are standing." She paused and looked down at a soldier who had an ugly gash in his thigh. His eyes were dancing and she chuckled. "Well, most of us are, anyway. Gordo here never was one for ceremony. Don't think that little scratch is going to stop me from giving you clean up duty, either!"

 

She lifted her eyes back to the others. "A toast then, to surviving. They say the Creator smiles down on His children in their times of need. That everything happens for a reason. He sent us a guide, when we were so close to destruction. He renewed our vigor, so that we might survive this hasty exit. And He's brought us together again, so that we might rejoice in the camaraderie together. Let us pray he is still so benevolent when we have to explain this mess back at the post." She grinned and took a drink from her cup. "To survival! May the Light save us all!"

 

They cheered back at her and didn't wait for her to sit down before they started their celebration again. She nodded, smiling as much as she could, then turned to Sandre. "I need some air, would you like a walk?"

 

~Edana

[Sangreal]

Sandre watched quietly as Edana gave her toast. She would have a lasting impression on these men and he hoped it was enough that they would value her enough to pull her out of the fray should she need it. They all owed her their lives. Sandres mind was already trying to figure out how they could move fast enough to keep their lead or gain a larger one if they could. He had one way in mind but it would cost them an advantage if they came under attack. As the toast was given, silently in his mind Sandre made his own toast. (To the heroic dead.) he thought.

 

When Edana came back and asked him to walk with her he nodded. There was a rather tense silence before Sandre spoke up... "If we put our slow and wounded on the horses we can move faster... I think we should start out earlier than usual... as soon as dawn comes and not stop until it becomes dangerous to travel. We could walk in a line which would be suicide if we were found but would make us harder to track as well... I dont recommend it for more than a couple days starting ta Dawn tomorrow. Me and a few men will cover the tracks. After the second day we cant risk that they may be catching up rather than us leaving them behind. If we are lucky we will get two fast days of travel and leave them looking for our trail."

 

Sandre knew that wasnt why she wanted him to walk with her. He didnt know what her real reason was though. "What is on your mind Edana?"

[U4ea]

Edana pictured a multitude of horrors at the prospect of walking the entire company in a single line, even if she did see the reason. Two days was a long time to be in a single column, though, even with their lead. She ran different scenarios and ideas through her thoughts as they moved, but none of them seemed to be a really good idea.

 

"What is on your mind Edana?" He caught her off guard with that and she looked up at him a moment. She didn't have to cover herself with him, but her first urge was to deny that she was thinking about anything save getting these men back to the post they left nearly a month ago.

 

She sighed and looked away. "I just needed some space. So did they." She looked over her shoulder and then back. "Keeping them alive has consumed every thought in my head for the last little while. I know I'm not out of the woods yet, but I just wanted a few minutes that weren't devoted to someone else's wellfare." She shrugged, laughing a little. "That's not the role of a good Captain, my father would say. A good Captain thinks of nothing else." She shook her head. "I should've listened to him more."

 

She paused and sighed, out of sight of the camp. She debated telling him that she was sorry she didn't write. There hadn't really been time, since the Captains were already organizing this mission when she'd arrived at her post. She didn't want to start that conversation, though. Not until she had an entirely private place to discuss it with him. It didn't leave them much to discuss. "Dante is bonded," she said, her lips quirking into a smirk. "After much mooning about, I might add. I don't think he's altogether happy about it, since he immediately moved right back into the barracks. I'm afraid I'm not much help to him, either in discussing Aes Sedai or women in general."

 

She searched for something else to continue the conversation with. Talking about mundane things seemed to help clear her head. "Master Kynwric finally married his Aes Sedai, Loraine. It's hard to fathom how she can put up with his seriousness all the time. She seems far too nice." And that was about it. She had little else to share.

 

"I'm rambling, I'm sorry," she looked down at her hands, still coated in blood and dirt. "This is not how I pictured you seeing me the next time we met."

 

~Edana