Shocking Revelation (closed RP)

[Elgee]

Esther scurried down the corridor towards her room in the Accepted Quarters, cursing a blue streak as only a farm girl could. Well, she cursed under her breath and felt the taste of soap in her mouth at every second word, but still – Esther was upset. She’d been so engrossed in her studies of late that she had failed to check her calendar, which meant she had gotten a rather nasty surprise a few minutes ago.

 

She slammed open the door to her room, noticed in passing that Deanne was curled up into a ball on her bed, but ignored it. Deanne was always either curled up crying about a chipped nail, or staring into the mirror admiring herself. She flung open her cupboard door and grabbed … Oh butter bloody onions! She had totally forgotten the previous month that she’d used her last one. Cursing herself for a scatterbrained fool, she searched through her whole cupboard, tossing things on the floor in her haste. Nothing. Bloody Deanne had probably nicked some of hers anyway.

 

Much as she hated the idea, there was no help for it – she was going to have to ask Deanne to lend her one, till she could get more from the stores. Taking a deep breath, she turned round. “Deanne, it’s that time of the month and I’ve run out of … you know?” A slight flush suffused her face. Some things she just wasn’t comfortable discussing, especially with Deanne. There was no response. Her roommate was still curled up in a ball, a few muffled sobs escaping past the pillow pulled over her head. “Deanne? Deanne?!”

 

 

Esther Tremaine

Accepted

 

[Kara_J]

Deanne had just had the biggest shock of her life, and no..it wasn't finding out that people still didn't like her..but something far more life-changing, from anyone's point of view.

She had never been that organised so she didn't pay attention to how regular her cycles were. When they happened, they happened. But it was only when she'd overheard two other Accepted talking about their cycles, that she realised she hadn't had a cycle for at least a month.

 

She thought back and remembered that her last cycle was when Flainey had taught that Element class she had been forced to attend, and that was two months gone!

 

She was pregnant. That was the only explanation. She thought guiltily back to the last time she'd snuck out to the warder's training yard. In moments huge self-pitying sobs racked her body and she curled up into a ball on the bed. "How was she ever going to marry a rich man or become

the Amyrlin Seat now?

 

She didn't know how long she lay there crying into her pillow, but stupid cow Esther soon came stomping back in like a herd of bulls, bleating about how she needed some things for her cycle. Deanne knew she was just doing it to rub it in. Esther was now wittering at her, so she sat up, fumbled under her bed where she kept most of her stuff, found the bag she was looking for and threw it with all her might at the smug holier-than-thou face of her room-mate. "Take them! I won't need them any more! I'm pregnant!" Deanne shouted and fell back onto the bed, sobbing anew.

[Elgee]

Esther closed her mouth slowly. She could do nothing about her popping eyes, though. She hadn’t even realised that her knees had given way until her bottom hit the floor. Pregnant?? How on earth … well, she knew how, she just wondered where Deanne had found the time!

 

“Flaming cowbells, Deanne … how could you be so … “ Her heart wasn’t in it, strangely enough. She simply could not ask Deanne how she could have been so stupid, irresponsible, or any of the other words that popped into her mouth. The girl was probably asking herself all those things anyway – no need to rub salt into the wound.

 

This was a new concept to Esther, indeed. Thinking about it, she should have been gloating about the predicament Deanne found herself in. Instead, the first thing she felt after the initial shock, was sympathy. And her first instinct was to see to the practicalities. Deanne simply wasn’t built for practicality, but that was Esther’s speciality.

 

Gathering her wits, not to mention her courage, she rose and walked over to sit down next to the sobbing girl, awkwardly patting her on the shoulder. She’d heard rumours about another girl, older than them, who had found herself in the same situation. That girl was still an Accepted, though, so there must be some way these things were dealt with. “Have you thought about what you want to do? You’ve been doing quite well at your studies, lately, you know … pity to give that up now.”

 

 

Esther Tremaine

Accepted

 

[Kara_J]

If Deanne hadn't already had a big shock, Esther's comments would have knocked her sideways. They had never got on and Deanne had privately thought, on more than one occasion, that Larindhra Sedai had arranged it on purpose. But, here Esther was, offering Deanne sympathy and comfort. Deanne would never understand her!

 

She sat up, still racked with heartfelt sobs. "I don't know! I don't want to be turned out of the Tower! I want to be Aes Sedai! Help me, please!" Deanne begged and threw her arms around Esther - or at least attempted to. The stupid woman went stiff as a board so Deanne reluctantly withdrew and blew her nose on a tissue.

 

"I don't know what to do. I know who the father is, he's a trainee in the warder's guild, but he won't want anything to do with this will he? Oh no!" Deanne exclaimed in horror as a thought struck her. "I'm going to have to tell Larindhra Sedai won't I? She'll kick me out of the Tower for sure! Maybe I should just run away, go back to my family. What do you think, Esther?" She turned her tear stained face towards her.

 

Esther is practical, she will know how to deal with this situation. Deanne thought hopefully. Maybe she can help me arrange to run away before anyone works out my predicament. I'm sure she won't make me face Larindhra, she knows what she's like! But, as she watched Esther's face grow firm, Deanne had a sinking feeling that she wouldn't like what Esther was about to say....not that she ever did.

 

[Elgee]

Esther was so shocked when Deanne tried to hug her, she went stiff as a fence post. She regretted the instinctive reaction as soon as it happened, but by then it was already too late – Deanne had already withdrawn, and try as she might, Esther was too uncomfortable with physical contact to reach out on her own. She got up and fetched Deanne some more tissues instead.

 

At least she wants to become Aes Sedai now – and about time! Of course she back tracked immediately, wanting to run away to her family. Deanne as a mother ... Esther had a hard time suppressing the horrified grimace that wanted to form on her face. Best to head that idea off right away.

 

“And exactly how do you think your family are going to react when you slink back to them, not only having failed to reach the Shawl, but pregnant and unwed to boot? Or are you planning on marrying the lowly trainee?” As she thought would happen, a look of horror crept over Deanne’s face. “No – much better we sort this matter out some other way, don’t you think?”

 

She let Deanne digest that whilst fetching a cool damp cloth and a comb. “Clean your face and straighten your hair. You can’t face Larindhra like that.” She still had her own little matter to attend to, as well. Grabbing the almost forgotten item that Deanne had thrown at her earlier, she headed for the door. “I’ll be back in 2 ticks, then I’ll go with you to Larindhra, if you like.”

 

 

Esther Tremaine

Accepted

 

[Kara_J]

As Esther's words sank in Deanne recoiled in horror. Remain unwed?? Marry the trainee? What kind of choices were those? Deanne shook her head in despair, a fresh wave of tears pouring forth. She numbly took the cloth and comb off Esther and, after a brief moment of confusion where she tried to wipe her face with the comb and brush her hair with the cloth, she gathered herself enough to sort herself out somewhat.

 

Whilst she awaited Esther's return, Deanne looked at herself mournfully in the mirror. Her tear-streaked face stared back at her. At least her hair had grown back a bit, though no where near the length and glorious asset it once was. How could I have been so stupid? Deanne asked herself for the umpteenth time. She was grateful that Esther hadn't said any of the things that she had expected her to, or indeed that Deanne would have said if the tables were turned. She was also grateful that Esther had volunteered to go to see Larindrha with her. There was no way in the Light that Deanne wanted to break the news alone.

 

Esther was right, telling Larindhra was the only option. Deanne could only hope that this whole situation could be sorted out easily. Maybe there's a secret weave that could sort it out, surely the Yellows would know of such? But, as soon as she thought of that, Deanne almost gagged. She was surprised with herself. She had never had to think about anyone else before, but now there was a little person growing inside her and depending on her....how in the Light could she even consider getting rid of it??

 

She buried her head in her hands and bitterly regretted the day that she set eyes on that trainee!

[Kara_J]

Done with her business, Esther returned their room. Deanne seemed to have pulled herself together somewhat, but her usually pretty face still looked a bit woebegone.

Esther surprised herself by taking the comb and straightening a few of the wayward locks that curled around Deanne’s face. Her own hair received some attention too, before she turned to her room-mate and said in a gruff, but not unkind way:

“Shall we go then? I saw Larindhra head up to her quarters a short while ago, which is good – less chance of being interrupted there than at her office.”

 

Deanne gazed up at Esther, the fact that Esther had managed to touch her precious hair completely bypassing her for the moment, so stricken was she with worry, guilt and not a little amount of fear.  "Do you really think this is the best course of action?" Deanne asked in the vain hope that Esther had had a change of heart. Deanne sat on the bed, shoulders slumped, banded dress dishevelled and looking totally unlike the vain girl she usually was.

 

Awkwardly Esther patted Deanne on the shoulder. “It’s Larindhra and a possible future as Aes Sedai, or the Trainee and being a housewife the rest of your life. You have to decide now, Deanne.” She surprised herself by adding: “I’ll help you best I can, either way.”

 

Deanne sat pole-axed, her mind racing for an alternative, something that wouldn't get her into trouble with the Mistress of Novices or get her tied to a life of - she shuddered - drudgery. Eventually she sighed deeply. "It isn't really much of a choice is it?" Deanne paused and stood, taking a deep breath.

"Thank you" She said awkwardly.

 

“No thanks needed. Flaming awkward position for you to be in. Would have done it for anyone,” Esther mumbled, blushing. Trying to hide her shock at hearing a word of thanks from Deanne of all people, Esther busied herself with straightening Deanne’s dress. “Well, no use putting it off any longer – let’s get this over with.” She bustled a still reluctant Deanne out of the room and down the various corridors and ramps leading to the Red quarters.

 

Deanne let herself be straightened and herded out of the room and towards the Red Quarters. Her stomach seemed to sink further with every step and her eyes threatened to fill with tears once more. She kept her head down and prayed she wouldn't see anyone she knew. Eventually they arrived at Larindhra's door. Taking a deep breath and flashing a tremulous smile at Esther, Deanne raised her fist to knock.....and stopped. She stood with fist raised, shaking from head to foot and mumbling "I can't do this!" under her breath.

 

Esther had wondered if Deanne would balk at the last gate, but being a farm girl she was ready for her. Never give the flaming sheep time to think about it – rush it right through.

The mumbling hadn’t even stopped yet when her own fist connected firmly with the door. Deanne was bundled through it before the echoes of Larindhra’s “Enter!” had faded.

She curtsied hurriedly, Deanne did the same but in a slightly more wobbly manner. “Larindhra Sedai, please forgive us for intruding, but Deanne has something to tell you.”

Deanne didn't have time to back out though, Esther knocked and was ushering Deanne through the door before she had time to so much as lower her fist! In short order she was bobbing a wobbly curtsy and Esther was explaining that Deanne had something to say. She could feel Larindhra's eyes boring into her and the expectant air from Esther but she couldn't bring herself to speak. Instead the tears welled up once again and spilled down her cheeks. Deanne suddenly felt Esther's hand slide into hers and give it a squeeze, which she supposed was meant to be reassuring but only served to make her cry all the harder.

 

Esther sighed.  It looked like it would be up to her to break the news. Larindhra was looking none too pleased at the intrusion into her private rooms – keeping her waiting much longer would only increase her irritation. Without thought, she grabbed hold of Deanne’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “What Deanne wants to say is … uhm …” This was more difficult than she had imagined it would be. “What’s happened is that there was this … the short of it is that Deannne’s gotten herself pregnant, Larindhra.” Esther rushed on before Larindhra could open her mouth. “But the important thing is that she wants to become Aes Sedai, Larindhra!” Not a word from Deanne, except for some more sobs. Esther trod firmly on her foot.

 

Deanne listened to Esther's explanation and  continued to sob loudly until Esther's foot trod heavily on her own. She gasped and nodded at Larindhra. Then Esther kicked her in the ankle so she spoke up. "I...I'm sorry Larindhra Sedai. I really do want to be Aes Sedai! I do really!" As she spoke Deanne realised that she truly did want to be Aes Sedai. "Please believe me!" She held out her hand towards Larindhra beseechingly. "I never intended this to happen. Please don't kick me out of the Tower. I'll do anything!"

 

Deanne Heillan

Accepted - Genuinely Penitent!

Esther Tremaine

Accepted - Helping Deanne, of all people!

[claireducky]

Larindhra had not been having the best of days.  It was only the late morning, and she had already had to discipline 5 initiates-- including a Sedai!  Granted, the Sedai had been a self-imposed penance, which Lar thought was quite silly, but she had laid into the woman all the same.

 

She had been hoping to grab a few quick minutes of relaxation in her quarters before heading back to her office for the afternoon, but she had hardly sat down before a sharp knock at the door interrupted her.

 

If it's not one thing, it's another...

 

The Red rose wearily and called, "Enter!"  She didn't expect the pair that came in together-- Esther and Deanne.  The two were roommates, true, but Larindhra knew they had no great love for each other.  Deanne's eyes were full of tears, but Esther seemed composed enough as she curtsied and said “Larindhra Sedai, please forgive us for intruding, but Deanne has something to tell you.”

 

Lar nodded and turned to Deanne.  The girl's face promptly crumpled and she turned into a blubbering mess.  The Mistress of Novices looked back at Esther with a raised eyebrow.  The Accepted looked uncertainly at her roommate, then plunged ahead.  “What Deanne wants to say is...uhm...What’s happened is that there was this...the short of it is that Deannne’s gotten herself pregnant, Larindhra."

 

Before the Red could so much as open her mouth, the Accepted continued before her bravery failed her.  “But the important thing is that she wants to become Aes Sedai, Larindhra!”

 

She again opened her mouth to speak, but Esther stepped on Deanne's foot and the sobbing girl exclaimed, "I...I'm sorry Larindhra Sedai. I really do want to be Aes Sedai! I do really!  Please believe me! I never intended this to happen. Please don't kick me out of the Tower. I'll do anything!"

 

Finally both girls were blissfully silent, and Larindhra could speak.  She made no effort to take the heat out of her voice as she replied.  "Well, it happened, girl...you should have the sense to know what is the inevitable result of such shenanigans, regardless of what you intended.  Girls don't just suddenly get with child with no action on their part before hand.  Why would you let something like a MAN get in the way of becoming an Aes Sedai?  I don't know if you deserve to stay if you can be dissuaded from that goal by something as simple as a man's prettily turned calves."  Larindhra's eyes swung like steel pendulums to rest on Esther.  "And YOU have been told once too many times to show the proper respect to Aes Sedai, Esther.  That includes me, and you WILL give me the title I deserve.  You've been sent to my study more times than I care to count, but that gives you no right to address me with familiarity."

 

She sat down and stared at the girls, who were both chastened to silence.  Even Deanne had ceased her blubbering.  She tapped a finger on her lips in thought.  Finally she spoke, and her voice was ice.

 

"Deanne, if you truly wish to be Aes Sedai, there is only one course of action that you will be allowed to take; you will be sent to a retired sister I know of in Cairhien, and there you will continue your studies until you are birthed of the child.  It will be placed with a family in the city and then you will come back here.  Decide now if you can live with that-- your child being raised by someone else, never to know you or you to know it.  If you cannot live with that, then you will leave tonight, along with the Trainee who helped put you in this position, and never return.  So what shall it be?"

 

 

 

 

[Kara_J]

Larindhra's sobering words got through to Deanne, cutting straight through the swathes of self pity she'd begun to wrap herself in.  She was being given a chance to save face, to become Aes Sedai but it meant that she would have to give up the child that she was now bearing.

 

She would never know her child, that was what Larindhra was telling her, and that her child would never know her. Her parents would never get to see the grandchild that they'd always hoped for. But on the other hand she'd be able to become Aes Sedai. Actually BE someone. Not just marry someone with influence, she could actually BE the influence.

 

Her thoughts strayed guiltily to the trainee in the Warders yard. He would never know his child either, but then if he got kicked out of the Tower too, he could never realise his dream of becoming a Warder like he had mentioned so proudly.

 

Her hands strayed to her stomach as she thought and then she looked Larindrha in the eye, lifting her chin proudly. "I choose the White Tower. I choose to be Aes Sedai. I will go wherever you send me and study whatever you wish. All that I ask, and I understand that I have no right to make demands right now, if ever, is that you find my baby a good home, a decent place where they will be loved." She paused and sighed then turned to Esther. "Could you come with me too, please?" she reached out and clasped Esther's hand before she realised that Larindhra had the right to send Deanne away on her own.

[Elgee]

Esther flushed scarlet at the well-deserved rebuke from Larindhra. How could she have forgotten herself so far as to forget the honorific? It was that stupid Deanne who had scrambled her brains … no. It was no one’s fault but her own. She could not blame Deanne for her own lack of self-control. What was it to her anyway if Deanne got herself into trouble? The strange thing was, it did get to her. She just couldn’t understand why it did.

 

She held her breath as the Mistress of Novices laid out Deanne’s choices. What would she choose? She let out the breath in a whoosh when Deanne accepted the only logical course open to her. In Esther’s opinion, anyway. She simply could not understand how anyone could choose not to be an Aes Sedai, but there you had it – one never knew, with Deanne. The next words Deanne uttered robbed her of breath entirely.

 

"Could you come with me too, please?"

 

Esther looked at Deanne. She looked at the hand clasping hers. She opened her mouth to say “don’t be a daft cow”. The words would not come. Slowly she started to nod her head. The Light help me, why am I agreeing to this??  It felt utterly right, though. A thought came to her, and she quickly turned to Larindhra. “Please, Larindhra Sedai – may I go with her? She is … my friend.” She could see Larindhra starting to shake her head. “Please! We can take as many books with us as possible, and I will help her study. We will both study harder than we ever have here. I will help Deanne and you’ll see – she’ll learn more in the next few months than she has in the past years. I promise, Larindhra Sedai!” For endless moments Larindhra said nothing, then finally she nodded.

 

 

Esther Tremaine

Accepted

 

[claireducky]

Larindhra was pleased at Deanne's choice, but was not quite so pleased when she turned to Esther and asked, "Could you come with me too, please?"

 

She felt that Esther's place was here in the Tower, not off in a city where her sharp tongue could land her in all sorts of trouble within the Great Game.

 

Not that she'll ever agree to go, of course...Esther usually thinks only of her self.

 

Then Larindhra was floored when she saw the disdain on Esther's face turn to something akin to compassion as she started to nod slowly.  The Accepted seemed to come quickly to a decision and eagerly turned to face her. “Please, Larindhra Sedai – may I go with her? She is … my friend.”

 

Well...THAT is unexpected.  The Mistress of Novices shook her head instinctively at first; there was no reason to lose both girls to 9 months of pointless waiting in Cairhien.  Esther launched into an argument, per usual. “Please! We can take as many books with us as possible, and I will help her study. We will both study harder than we ever have here. I will help Deanne and you’ll see – she’ll learn more in the next few months than she has in the past years. I promise, Larindhra Sedai!”

 

Larindhra was silent for several moments as she contemplated.  Cairhien would be a dangerous place for Esther and her mouth, but perhaps the girl would learn a bit of polish there.  And if friendship mingled with a bit of shame could put Deanne in her place and help her buckle down and learn something; well, maybe it was for the better if both girls went.  She finally acquiesced, and the girls smiled widely at each other.  

 

"As long as you both understand that this is no vacation.  Coreena Sedai was and is a hard woman; she will not let either of you slack, even Deanne when she is large with child.  You will study, work, eat and sleep.  Perhaps somewhere in there you will find some more wits between you."

 

She studied the two of them closely.  "Cairhien is a city of whispers, and every whisper is a part of the Great Game.  I would take you there myself, but I have too much to do here.  I also do not wish for Deanne's indiscretion to make it's turn in the Tower gossip mill."  She sat down and pulled parchment and ink to her, speaking as she wrote.

 

"There is a trustworthy Gaidin I know of.  You girls will quickly go back to your room, change into traveling clothes, and pack all of your clothing and belongings in valises.  Don't bother to take your banded dresses; Deanne will outgrow hers soon enough, and we don't need nosy Cairhienin wondering why two Accepted are in their streets.  You also will not wear your Serpent rings in public."

 

Esther began to protest, but the Red held up a hand to forestall her.  She rummaged in a drawer of the desk and came out with a large purse of worn leather.  She tossed the purse to the parsimonious Esther and handed the note to Deanne. "That purse has enough gold and silver to pay for your maintenance for the next 9 months.  You will turn it over to Coreena's care when you arrive in Cairhien.  The note is also for her, and should be delivered unopened, Deanne."  Her eyes drove into the girls like awls.  

 

"While you are there, you will behave every second like you are still in the Tower.  Coreena's word will be Law.  People will want to know where you are from, what you are doing in the city.  I suggest strongly you learn how to twist your words without lying outright; the practice will serve you well in the future.  We do not need people knowing that Coreena is an Aes Sedai or that we are sending unruly initiates to her.  I will let it be known around the Tower that the two of you have been sent on 'retreat' for a time.  Generally that is understood as a polite way of saying you are serving a penance at the Farm."  She sat back and looked at each of them.  What would they be like when they returned?

 

"Now.  You will go and do as I have said, then go discreetly to the stables where you will meet Geoffrey, the Gaidin I mentioned.  He will see you safely to Cairhien.  Do you have any questions?"

 

 

 

 

[Kara_J]

Deanne was grateful that Esther had agreed to go with her, though she definitely did NOT like the sound of all that studying that Esther was promising the Mistress of Novices. Despite that though, Deanne found herself holding her breath whilst Larindhra contemplated their request. She let her breath out with a whoosh when Larindhra slowly consented. She mustered a weak smile and was just about to open her mouth to profess her gratitude, truly she was, when the beastly Mistress of Novices started to order them about, as per usual.

 

Deanne blushed furiously as Larindhra made several very pointed remarks at her, particularly about the letter. She never would be able to live that down, she still had nightmares about washing the soot off those bedsheets! If she felt that the Mistress of Novice's quarters was the last place she wanted to be in before, that was nothing to how she felt now, with those eyes boring into her. Even with her head bowed in a very real attempt at abashed meekness, Deanne could swear blind she could feel those eyes burning into the top of her skull.

 

Esther practically snatched the purse of coin - if snatching could be considered respectful, and practically herded Deanne back out of the door as they curtsied and said their "Yes, we understand, Larindhra Sedai". In short order Deanne found herself back in their quarters with Esther bustling about happy as a pig in mud, organising their belongings. Deanne couldn't bring herself to do anything other than shift out of the way as Esther bumbled about muttering lists of books and other bizarre items.

 

After watching Esther in a half-hearted way, Deanne realised that there was something terribly wrong with Esther's packing. At first, in her befuddled state, she couldn't put her finger on it, but then it dawned on her and eventually she roused herself enough to say something.

 

"Err...Esther? We are going to take some clothing I hope? I don't know about you but I'm not entirely happy with the thought of having to walk around Cairhien in the altogether!"

[Elgee]

Esther listened quietly whilst Larindhra explained where they were supposed to go. This Cairhien didn’t sound like any place she would enjoy living in, but she guessed she would just have to put up with it. Besides, she would have her books and an Aes Sedai all of her own to study under! Well, she would have to share the Aes Sedai with Deanne, but still. She gave Deanne a side-long glance. A thought had just occurred to her: once the girl was moribund, there would be nothing for her to do but study. Oh yes – this could work out very well indeed! She’d been itching for years now to pound some learning into Deanne.

 

She vaguely heard Larindhra mention sending a Gaidin with them. Men weren’t of much use other than mooning over Deanne, in her opinion, but she vaguely supposed that a Warder trained one would know how to behave himself. If he didn’t, she’d soon box his ears for him. And Deanne’s, for that matter, if the girl still hadn’t learnt her lesson.

 

She was a bit miffed about having to remove her ring – she’d earned the right to wear it! But Larindhra smothered her protests without breaking stride, and handed her a purse filled with enough coin to see them both living comfortably for years, never mind nine or so months. Esther tucked it away carefully in her belt pouch. She listened to the rest of Larindhra’s instructions with as much patience as she could muster, finally dipping some more curtsies and promising to comply with every word. She hardly gave Deanne time to make similar promises before hustling her out and back to their room.

 

Once there, she rummaged through the books for those she absolutely had to take with, paying particular attention to the ones Deanne hadn’t studied yet. Which turned out to be most of them, really. She was muttering so to herself, it took a few moments for Deanne’s words to penetrate.

 

"Err...Esther? We are going to take some clothing I hope? I don't know about you but I'm not entirely happy with the thought of having to walk around Cairhien in the altogether!"

 

Abashed, she sorted through their clothing, at last with some help from Deanne, and soon everything they could think of was packed. With a bit of apprehension she led the way down to the stables, to start a new phase of her life. Their lives. She still couldn’t believe she was doing this, and with Deanne of all people!

 

 

Esther Tremaine

Accepted