A Crash Course ( Attn Visar)

[Sangreal]

It was still dark and Sandre still found it odd to wake up in the Tower Guard barracks. He didnt have to be up yet... not really. It was trainees who got up this early. You had to really. Tower Guards seemed to get an extra hour or so since not so many restrictions were placed on them. Out of habit though, Sandre could not sleep any more. Looking out the small window meant for an archer to defend the barracks he saw that he was up earlier than usual. Today though he was to help another trainee, Visar, to help him see if the life of a Tower Guard was what he wanted.

 

Dressing quickly and throwing on his training gear, he did all the little things he did as a trainee to get ready. Today was cold for a change so as he left he lightly jogged to the trainee side of the Barracks. Silently he moved through the hall ways opening doors to trainees he knew to make sure they were alright. It was a morning ritual for him that they didnt know about. He stopped by Edana's room and whispered a few words in her ears as she slept. Her smiles always told him she heard even if she did not wake. Finally he went to his old room. Walking in all four trainees were sound asleep. Addison's blankets were on the floor and she was shivering so quietly he picked them up and covered her back up. She had an uncanny ability to smell his soap on anything he touched. He hoped the woman would realize it was only on her blankets and not her that his scent was left this time, and if not... well... she would probably hit him... again... like so many other times before... sarcastically he swore the woman got a thrill out of it.

 

Using a spear haft from the weapon rack he had left here he poked at Visar from a distance. Hunted people often awoke violently. "Visar wake up. Get dressed."

[Visar Falmaien]

Being shuffled around to a new bed only made Visar more tired, and he slept soundly that night in what used to be Sandre's room.  He didn't know his roommates very well yet, but told himself he would eventually.

 

Something prodded him, and Visar lurched to a sitting position, bumping his head loudly on the bunk above him.  Groaning, he glared at his attacker.

"You bloody fishgut why I outta..." he muttered angrily, but stopped.  If it was a superior, he could get in trouble for swearing around here.

 

"Visar wake up. Get dressed."

 

Visar squinted.  It was hard to see the big form in the dim light, but he recognized Sandre's voice.

 

"Sandre?"  Wasn't Sandre Tower Guard now?  Why would he be coming back to his old bunk? Visar wondered.

 

And then he remembered.  Sandre was going to show him some stuff about Tower Guard life today.  So that's why he's here!

 

"Oh yeah.  Give me a minute." he said in his most coherently voiced thought yet.

 

Muttering another curse as he felt a bump on his head, Visar got out of bed, and unceremoniously tossed the sheet which had come with him back on the bunk.

 

Trying to stay quiet so he wouldn't wake everybody else up, Visar quickly got dressed, checked his knife sheath, now concealed on his left arm, and buckled on his longer dagger at his right hip.  He glanced at the slim-bladed Tairen sword he had stolen.  He hesitated slightly, knowing that Sandre already suspected his past, but he buckled that on anyway, at his left hip.

 

Washing his hands and face quickly in the water basin, Visar turned back to Sandre.

 

"Ok I'm ready.  Where to first?"

[Sangreal]

Sandre put the spear back as he waited for Visar and flipped through a book he had left for one of the twins. He was sure that there was a way or wording the crane formation on page 127 than there was in his own copy which he picked up yesterday. Sure enough. He smiled at the book. Visar announced he was ready which snapped Sandre back.

 

"Ok I'm ready.  Where to first?"

 

"Training as always. Since you need to bathe and change afterward you will need to get up a little earlier. Once you get the system down you can get it done faster and maybe even sleep in an hour more but good luck doing that. I cant sleep a wink more."

 

The two started out with stretching and calisthenics before running to the river. In the river Sandre subjected Visar to his river training routine (See "A Test of Water"). They bathed there in the river and on the walk back the sun had just come up in full view.

 

He went to change into his armor and uniform before heading to the kitchens. There were no other trainees there, just Tower Guards following the same routine. "We gather here in the mornings. Rather than briefings when you report in sometimes we just get together and pass along information that we need to know. For instance, we are placing lanterns on poles a few feet from the walls so that the shadows can no longer be used to infiltrate the yards."

 

 

[Visar Falmaien]

"Training as always. Since you need to bathe and change afterward you will need to get up a little earlier. Once you get the system down you can get it done faster and maybe even sleep in an hour more but good luck doing that. I cant sleep a wink more."

 

Visar knew he should have expected that.  Of course professional soldiers should be expected to train vigorously to maintain their stamina and skills.  He thought an extra hour of sleep sounded like the most wonderful thing in the world, and part of him looked forward to being able to do a few more things on his own.

 

But for now, it was time to follow Sandre and see how he trained.  Visar was not surprised to find out that it was just as challenging as what his instructors put him through every day, if not a little more so.  Stretching, calisthenics, and running were not too hard for Visar, but it had been some time since he had swum.  And swimming in the Erinen here was quite different from swimming in Tear.

 

For starters, the water was much colder, and the current was stronger here, so Visar constantly had to try to fight the river's will to make him drift steadily downstream.

 

But he managed to survive, and they walked back, Visar already sore from the workout.  Sandre told him to change back into uniform, and Visar nodded, going to the armory to put on his borrowed maile and helmet that he occasionally trained with.  It was not as protective as Sandre's plate harness, but it was reassuring to know that Visar had some protection on, and that he was starting to get used to wearing its weight.

 

They went to the kitchens next, and Visar was starving for some breakfast.  He saluted the guards there, just in case one of them felt like berating him for not doing so.  He was afraid to ask when Tower Guardsmen usually ate, however, so he looked forlornly at where the food was served in silence as Sandre explained something else to him.

 

"We gather here in the mornings. Rather than briefings when you report in sometimes we just get together and pass along information that we need to know. For instance, we are placing lanterns on poles a few feet from the walls so that the shadows can no longer be used to infiltrate the yards."

 

Visar frowned, not quite understanding.  The thing about shadows almost sounded like the tall tales about Lurks, but surely such monsters couldn't actually exist.

 

"Shadows?  What do you mean by infiltrating shadows?  Shadows can't harm anyone...can they?"

[Sangreal]

"Shadows?  What do you mean by infiltrating shadows?  Shadows can't harm anyone...can they?"

 

As they got to the cook who handed them two trays of food they both took one and headed over to a table.

 

"No I mean those murders that happened awhile back... she had to have hidden in the shadows to avoid our patrols. Trainees are using them too."

 

The redness in his face probably gave him away but he wasnt too concerned if Visar knew he had broken a few rules. Might even make the guy more comfortable with him. Many of the guards seemed surprised to find Visar there but Sandre smiled appreciatively when they would walk by and pat Visar on the shoulders or ask how he was enjoying being stuck with Sandre for the day. Some even made a few cracks about Sandre trying to drown people in the river.

 

There wasnt much time for instruction with all the interruptions by the guards but when they finished they reported to the Yard gates where Sandre found out he was on perimeters. The guards they were relieving had nothing to report other than the posts for the lanterns were being put in. Sandre continued the instructions as they walked.

 

"Your first round is your most crucial no matter what post you are on. If the guy you relieved missed something important. Like some broken equipment, or something out of the ordinary, and you dont find it until hours later, then you are responsible since it would be your words against his. We are looking for tracks, over turned rocks, boot prints on the walls, or a little further out broken brush. We are also looking for anything damaged or on occasion you find... messages... painted on the walls. We have to report it all."

 

The two set to the task quietly. Sandre pointed out some broken bush where a trainee must have decided to sneak out from the night before. They did a more thorough search of the area and found more signs. Visar found a liquor bottle tossed in another bush about twenty minutes later, this one was on top of a bush meaning it was likely thrown from the walls by a Tower Guard. They reported all this to the Watch Commander after the first round and turned in the bottle as proof. Both had to fill out reports and Sandre assisted Visar with his and told him which details were important and had to be included and proper report format.

[Visar Falmaien]

(ooc: and we get a humorous example of how bad Visar is at writing  yay phonetic misspellings ;D )

 

"No I mean those murders that happened awhile back... she had to have hidden in the shadows to avoid our patrols. Trainees are using them too."

 

Visar did not notice Sandre blushing about something, the memory of seeing that dead man, one of the first of the murder victims, was still fresh in his mind.  It was relieving to know that the murderer was caught and justice had been done. Still, the fact that even the Tower, supposedly one of the safest places in the world, could be victim to such horrible bloodshed like that gave Visar the creeps.

 

At least it was better than someone trying to convince him that Lurks actually existed.  Such monsters were surely too horrible to be real.

 

He ate his food mostly in silence, attempting to nod and laugh his way out of the Tower Guards stopping by their table to say hello and pat him on the shoulder.  Their seemingly patronizing attitudes made Visar feel somewhat uncomfortable, but he survived.

 

Visar was happy to be out of the kitchen and starting on some real work. 

 

"Your first round is your most crucial no matter what post you are on. If the guy you relieved missed something important. Like some broken equipment, or something out of the ordinary, and you dont find it until hours later, then you are responsible since it would be your words against his. We are looking for tracks, over turned rocks, boot prints on the walls, or a little further out broken brush. We are also looking for anything damaged or on occasion you find... messages... painted on the walls. We have to report it all."

 

Visar listened, interested.  Report everything one saw.  Didn't seem to hard to him.  When they actually got around to it, Visar found he enjoyed it somewhat.  The shift went by rather slowly, and Sandre and he did not find too much of interest, but Visar supposed that too much happening could be a bad thing.

 

A lot of trainees tended to sneak back in, Visar noticed.  He himself didn't try to do that, so afraid he was of being expelled from the program and left on his own to the mercy of the Light knew whoever was trying to hunt for him.

 

Visar frowned as he scribbled at a report.  He had terrible handwriting, and didn't know how to spell a lot of words, so the end result looked a little like,

 

["Traeney Veesar fowned a licker botl, pasibblee throun frum the walz, and all so fowned passibl ehvidents of a traeney sneekeng aut last nait.  All els kleer."]

 

Visar squinted at the parchment.  He knew something was wrong with it, but he wasn't sure what.  He looked askance at Sandre, as if to beg help?!

[Sangreal]

Sandre quietly wrote his report out and saw a look of desperation in Visar's face. Looking at the report Sandre was reminded that not everyone had his own upbringing and he quietly without a word made the needed spelling corrections and passed it back to Visar. He then smeared his own page as a cover as to why he was redoing it should they be questioned. "As soon as you are done we will make a few rounds and take a little break to between them to spar a bit. Then we will go to lunch. I know a place in town you may like."

 

He made ever effort he could to assist Visar with the report and taught him to spell a few more words. However he also made sure no one knew of Visar's handicap in case he was sensitive about it. When Visar finished they turned in the report and went back out, this time traveling in the opposite direction. "This way we will see anything we missed the first time." When they found nothing on that round they stopped for some sparring for a break. When they had completed a few more rounds both were hungry. Sandre continued explaining things as they headed to town.

 

"There are more posts than I can name so every day you have something different. It takes awhile to get used to them all. Sometimes you are just on standby meaning you hang out in the barracks all day leaving only for meals and when something happens and you are called to go out. Its a good time to clear some space in your room to work forms. Or learn a new skill entirely. You can expect one week of your month to be doing just that. You can even sleep as long as someone knows you are doing it so they can wake you if your are needed. Especially good on the night shift. Remember that here you are still required to make minimum monthly requirements in athletics and demonstrate competence with your weapon. We also have uniform and room inspections."

 

They sat down at a table inside of a nice quiet Tavern. Other than a couple city guards and a couple other Tower Guards they were alone. The room was clean and the air smelled of spices being used in the kitchen.

 

"Its borderlander food by the way... it tends to be a little on the spicy side so let them know what you can take."

 

Sandre ordered rack of lamb covered in crushed garlic and peppercorns. It was served with peppers and vegetables mixed with butter and chicken.

 

As he ate he continued. "Now the room inspections are mostly looking for contraband and at to make sure nothing is molding in there, the uniform inspections are actually harder than the trainee inspections. Any questions so far?"

[Visar Falmaien]

Visar was relieved that Sandre seemed only willing to help.  He didn't even laugh when he explained that some words were spelled differently than what Visar had thought.  The report was corrected, and they finally handed theirs in.

 

"As soon as you are done we will make a few rounds and take a little break between them to spar a bit. Then we will go to lunch. I know a place in town you may like."

 

"Alright."  Visar thought lunch sounded like an excellent idea.  Now if only he could survive the sparring session to get to it...

 

They went a few rounds, Visar trying out a slim single handed wooden sword that resembled the one he had stolen.  His sprained wrist was still wrapped up, so he kept it behind his back and did his best without his off hand.  He came out of the session with quite a few more welts and bruises than Sandre had, and was famished as well.  Visar was not particularly happy with his own performance, but he reminded himself that Sandre had been training for longer with his hand-and-a-half, and it was always difficult to fight with a one handed weapon against the strength of two.  Most of the wards and strikes were similar if not the same, and it dawned on Visar that different sword styles had as much in common as apart.

 

Still, his hunger pushed most of these thoughts away for another time.  They went into the city, to a borderlander style tavern, and on the way Sandre explained about different posts, especially standby, which sounded like a good time to work on another past time.  Perhaps if Visar was on standby, he imagined himself working on his reading and writing, and perhaps playing a game of dice or cards with some of the other guardsmen. 

 

The travern was pleasantly quiet, Visar thought.  Perhaps a little too quiet for the lunch hour.

 

"Its borderlander food by the way... it tends to be a little on the spicy side so let them know what you can take."

 

Visar grinned, sensing a subtle challenge.

 

"I'm sure I can handle it."

 

Visar ordered the same thing that Sandre was having, and quickly dug in while Sandre explained about room and uniform inspections.  Slightly surprised at the power of the spice in the food, Visar blinked tears from his eyes and sniffled his runny nose.  Yet it was excellent food regardless, so Visar tried to ignore the burning sensations and instead focused on what Sandre was saying.

 

Visar thought for a moment between bites, trying to think of a good question.  Most of it made a sort of common sense.  Of course they would want the Guard to be competent in weapons training, even if the Guardsman didn't have to fight all the time.  Visar wondered what he would be able to do to try to deal with the boredom of some of the shifts, but a little boredom sounded better than too much stress.

 

"Sounds like it's a decent job.  Some mundane work, of course, and some stress if there's to be any fighting.  How well are Tower Guardsmen paid for their services?" Visar asked.  Until now, he had hardly dreamed of being able to earn steady, honest wages. It sounded wonderful compared to some of the illegal gambling and thievery he had done in Tear to try to get an edge over the poverty stricken city.  Maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't have to do that anymore in this place.

 

As Sandre answered that question, Visar quickly made a comment, wiping his nose with a cloth napkin.

 

"Food's great, by the way.  Way better than anything I've had in Tear.  I'll have to come by here again some time."

[Sangreal]

Walking back to the yards Sandre was fully aware he had ate himself into a food coma. Passing by a butchers shop he gazed at what was on display in the front. Pulling out a small book about the size of his hand from a small bag held in a larger pouch and a small vial of ink and a quill he scribbled in his book before blowing on it and returning to their walk. "Tower Guards make enough to live comfortably... maybe even raise a family. However I try to keep my mind sharp for the battle field.... commanding though I am not in any sort of command position. So I trade goods in the markets... not personally mind you, I work through shippers all over the world. I challenge you to find a better battle field than that.

 

When they got back to the yards and checked in and continued their rounds. They would be out by half day. As they continued on Sandre began to explain what to look for should they encounter anyone. "If they plan to run they tend to shift their weight from one foot to the next. If they are talking to you at the time or you are approaching them they may look around for an escape. Its instinct. Someone talking normal but not looking you in the eyes and with nothing to distract him is being dishonest yet some will look you in the eyes anyways. In which case their pupils will dilate. However that can also happen if they are angry."

 

It was a lot to take in...

 

"If they see you approach and become stiff and wide eyed it means they are afraid of something. Loss of freedom, your weapon, take your pick. However if you do not intend to arrest them do not cut off their means of escape or they can turn on you. Especially if they are drunk.... are you getting all this?"

[Visar Falmaien]

"Tower Guards make enough to live comfortably... maybe even raise a family. However I try to keep my mind sharp for the battle field.... commanding though I am not in any sort of command position. So I trade goods in the markets... not personally mind you, I work through shippers all over the world. I challenge you to find a better battle field than that."

 

Raise a family...that wasn't exactly on Visar's priority list right now.  He had never been overly fond of his own family; he doubted he had what it took to raise a good one of his own. Though finding a woman wouldn't be a bad idea, he thought.  Most men did that at some point in their lives, why shouldn't he?

 

How was a market a battlefield?  That didn't make much sense to Visar, but he let Sandre talk on anyway.  His mind was drifting to other things.  Should he really try joining the Tower Guard?  Or was there something better to do in Tar Valon?  He had been so busy training that he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do about the future.

 

Visar was only half paying attentiong when Sandre explained about reactions of people.  They walked back to the Tower, Visar taking in the sights and sounds since they were still fairly new.  He idly wondered if there was some manual somewhere that told all of this information, or had Sandre already experienced this sort of behavior firsthand?

 

"drunk.... are you getting all this?"

 

Visar blinked.  What had Sandre just talked about?  Something about drunk people?

 

"I'm sorry, what?  Something about cutting off people's escape routes?  Makes sense to me...I think.  I'm sorry it's just so much to try to take in in one day."

 

Visar's face went red, realizing that he had scarcely paid attention after they left the tavern.

[Sangreal]

Sandre could only laugh. "I suppose we have learned enough today. Had you been listening you would have figured out how I figured out your past by the way you reacted."

 

Sandre shook his head. Visar would learn if he needed too. It really wasnt important to shove his head full of new concepts and ideas right away. Not everyone pursued knowledge for the sake of knowledge, or perfection for the sake of being perfect.

 

"So what were you thinking about?"

[Visar Falmaien]

"I suppose we have learned enough today. Had you been listening you would have figured out how I figured out your past by the way you reacted."

 

Visar almost glared at Sandre.  So it had been merely a trick to force him to react.  He would have to be careful of those in the future.  If a mere Tower Guard could throw him off guard, then what of an Aes Sedai, or some other imposing intellectual with such skills?

 

"So what were you thinking about?"

 

"My mind was drifting, I was thinking about everything and nothing." he replied honestly.  He gave Sandre a hard, long look.  Could he really trust this man?  He would soon find out.  He took a deep breath, and took the first step over the cliff.

 

"I...I'm tired of hiding.  I'm tired of letting my past frighten me, ashame me.  I..I need to talk about it.  Let it go and off my chest, finally.  Do you know where we could talk privately?  You suspect enough, I don't want you to get any wrong ideas about what I did." 

 

 

[Sangreal]

Sandre nodded. He obviously had been battling himself with this for some time. "I know a place." after the round was completed he signed out for a break and headed back outside the walls towards the river. He knew of a place with a small waterfall that the water path swordsmen went to train. However it was clear and the sound of the waterfall would drown out their words beyond a pace or two.

 

It was a rather uncomfortable position to be placed in however so Sandre did his best to try and take the tension out. "The water paths train here sometimes... but the waterfall will make sure we are not over heard. Its a great camp spot as well. The sound of the water will do crazy things to your dreams... I can only think of one better way for me to sleep." He did not mention what... or rather who that was.

 

"So what has been haunting you friend?"

[Visar Falmaien]

They went to a waterfall, something that Visar had only heard about in romance stories.  It was breathtaking, and the noise of the rushing water was peaceful.  The Water Path...Visar didn't think he would have the patience for that sort of passivity, but perhaps he could learn a thing or two from the swordsmen that trained in that.

 

"So what has been haunting you friend?"

 

Where to begin?  Visar breathed in and out slowly several times, and began his story. 

 

He started explaining about his family.  They meant well, he realized that now, but he had been blind to it at the time, had lacked the patience to understand his father and his brother's humble honor.

 

"I started hanging out with the wrong crowd.  I got involved in street gangs.  Started stealing.  Part of me knew it was wrong, but I did it anyway.  For the money, yes, but also for the thrill of it.  Got caught a few times.  Served my sentences in the Fingers of the Dragon."

 

Visar paused, and shuddered, as if a cold breeze had come from the north.  He didn't want to remember those horrible years, trying to grow up in forced labor groups working the channel dredges night and day.  Almost a third of the people he met were overworked or underfed to the point of breakdown, and some died.  Visar was lucky to survive, he explained.  Lucky to be given such a mild sentance.

 

And yet he had fallen right back into old habits, this time perfecting cheating at dice.

 

"And then the worst happened.  One night, I was gambling at double the stakes.  There were new patrons in the tavern I plied my illegal trade.  Richer, more dangerous.  Some of them had swords, so they could either afford to bribe the Defenders or they had connections with the High Lords themselves.  One of them had sharp eyes, and caught me trying to switch the dice out.  I panicked, and bolted for the door.  He followed."

 

"I wasn't thinking that night.  He cornered me easily in an alleyway, dead end.  Yelled at me to give me his money back, and come back and confess my crime.  I refused silently, too afraid to speak.  I didn't want to go back to serving in the Fingers, or worse.  He came nearer, and his hand went for his sword.  I...drew my knife.  I killed him before he could draw his weapon."

 

Visar was shaking visibly now, shivering violently at having to tell all this.

 

"Shoulda ended there, but my head wasn't where it should be.  Looking back on it it didn't make much sense but I...I took his sword.  This sword." he gestured weakly at the sword that he had on now.  "Maybe it was the alure of the forbidden.  No commoner is allowed to have one, and I hated that.  Maybe it was the price it might give me if I tried to sell it, but I found out it was made by a master smith in Tear, and they'd trace the buyer to me in no time."

 

Visar slowly unbuckled the Tairen sword, leaving it in its sheath.  He set it dumbly on the ground, wishing for the hundredth time he should have never touched it.  Or at least thrown it in the river where it wouldn't bother anyone. 

 

"I haven't been able to throw it away.  I know it isn't mine.  I know what I did was wrong.  But I...I just can't let it go.  That's why I'm here, Sandre.  To hide from what I did.  I knew that the White Tower would be the last place Tairen authorities would look.  But that's not right either, is it?  Hiding from my mistakes?  I just don't know what else to do."

 

A tear rolled down Visar's eye, and he sniffed, trying to hold it back.  He turned his head, hoping that Sandre didn't see how pathetic he looked.  He was sure he sounded that way, though.

 

"I wish I didn't kill the man, or touch this bloody sword, but I did.  Don't want to feel like I have to lie, cheat and steal my way through life anymore.  If I have to rot in a cell for the rest of my life, or die for what I did, then I should."

 

He turned to Sandre, a new resolution in his eyes.

 

"If you think I should, then turn me in, right now.  I don't think I have what it takes to be a Tower Guard anyway, much less a warder.  Warders don't cheat and steal, they don't murder.  They don't lie.  I'm not worthy of their number."

 

Visar stared sullenly at the waterfall for a moment before Sandre spoke.

[Sangreal]

Sandre listened with a straight face. Sandre had never killed anyone but he had resigned himself that he would one day. It was inevitable for someone on his path. However Visar was in the wrong and that was tearing him up.

 

"So you killed a man... do you think it ends here? What will you do when you are bonded? Perhaps one night you and your Aes Sedai are escaping a group of white cloaks and you are trying to remain hidden or you will both die and fail your mission. However a family sees you and you know from the fear in their eyes when they see your Aes Sedai's ageless features that they will turn you both in. You can not hesitate to kill everyone who saw you. Men, women, children."

 

He picked up the sword from the ground and shoved it at Visar's chest. He was here now and there was no excuse.

 

"This is yours now. You took a life of someone who wanted you to do the right thing. Now you have a lifetime to do the right thing so the life you took meant something. I do not hate you for it nor will I turn you in. I am still your friend and you did only what comes as instinct. You have a couple choices Visar. You can live with the guilt of it all or you can turn yourself in here, take your lashes, and ask for sanctuary and a chance to make up for it serving time in the Tower Guard. They may one day come for you yet and should that happen you will have the backing of the Tower and will not be turned over and sent back to Tear to die, but rather may have an alternative as long as the Tower knows what you did."

 

Sandre turned and looked over the river. He didnt think what Visar did was this bad. Nor could Sandre understand why he felt to protective over this way ward soul all the sudden.

 

"I will speak on your behalf should you do the latter... I will keep your secret should you do the former. Should they come in force to take you they will have to go through me first. You have a tough life ahead of you if you wish to repay this debt. You must do enough good to make up for your own misdeeds and the deeds the dead will no longer complete. When that blade snaps your debt to him is clear. You had better have one of your own handy on that day though. There is no right choice for you really... one where you will leave his life a waste and your own. One where more innocent blood will be on your hands before its done."

 

He shook his head as he looked back at Visar.

 

"And a warder will do what he must. He will lie, cheat, steal, and murder if it means doing it for the right thing."

 

His gaze was unknowingly fierce towards Visar. He did not want Visar risk another life trying to make up for the one he took either.

 

"The question you need to ask yourself is if you can take innocent blood for the right reasons."

[Visar Falmaien]

"So you killed a man... do you think it ends here? What will you do when you are bonded? Perhaps one night you and your Aes Sedai are escaping a group of white cloaks and you are trying to remain hidden or you will both die and fail your mission. However a family sees you and you know from the fear in their eyes when they see your Aes Sedai's ageless features that they will turn you both in. You can not hesitate to kill everyone who saw you. Men, women, children."

 

Visar blinked.  Was Sandre trying to say that what he did was alright?  If any killing in the future was in service to an Aes Sedai, then it was ok to kill innocents if they got in the way?

 

He grunted as the sword was shoved back to him.  He scowled, and snatched it back up.  He couldn't get rid of this thing, could he?

 

"This is yours now. You took a life of someone who wanted you to do the right thing. Now you have a lifetime to do the right thing so the life you took meant something. I do not hate you for it nor will I turn you in. I am still your friend and you did only what comes as instinct. You have a couple choices Visar. You can live with the guilt of it all or you can turn yourself in here, take your lashes, and ask for sanctuary and a chance to make up for it serving time in the Tower Guard. They may one day come for you yet and should that happen you will have the backing of the Tower and will not be turned over and sent back to Tear to die, but rather may have an alternative as long as the Tower knows what you did."

 

The Tower would allow him to live after such a thing?  Visar doubted he would enjoy any such punishment.  A life serving the Tower was probably more trouble than dying for his crime in Tear.  Yet it was still life.  There was still hope for some mercy, at least.

 

"I will speak on your behalf should you do the latter... I will keep your secret should you do the former. Should they come in force to take you they will have to go through me first. You have a tough life ahead of you if you wish to repay this debt. You must do enough good to make up for your own misdeeds and the deeds the dead will no longer complete. When that blade snaps your debt to him is clear. You had better have one of your own handy on that day though. There is no right choice for you really... one where you will leave his life a waste and your own. One where more innocent blood will be on your hands before its done."

 

Visar could hardly believe that Sandre was supporting him.  What did I do in a past life that made this man my friend? he wondered, bewildered.  Yet he could not spit in his friend's face.  He would have to decide what to do, and let Sandre know.  And he owed it to help Sandre too, should he need it.  Though in this state Visar doubted that he could help anyone.  He would have to become better.  Not just with the sword, but a better person.

 

"And a warder will do what he must. He will lie, cheat, steal, and murder if it means doing it for the right thing."

 

Visar frowned.  That didn't sound like what he thought of warders.  But they were human beings just like everyone else, and they were charged to protect someone, no matter the cost to those that got in the way.  Maybe there was a way to do the wrong things for the right reason, even if Visar didn't know how that would work exactly.

 

"The question you need to ask yourself is if you can take innocent blood for the right reasons."

 

Sandre's gaze burned into him, yet Visar knew an answer, even if it sounded too idealistic to always work.

 

"Only if by killing one innocent, I can spare or save a hundred.  Or if I am fighting for a cause that will do that indirectly."

 

Visar looked at the river that connected his two worlds: that of his shameful past, and perhaps that of his present and future.  The river's water was from the same source, though it looked and flowed differently in Tear and Tar Valon.  Perhaps it was that way with his life as well, somehow. 

 

"I know what I need to do." he said simply, and he buckled his sword back on.

 

"I'll talk to the Mistress of Trainees about it later.  For now though, let's get back to our rounds, and I'll learn what else I can from you today.  Thank you, Sandre."  he added in almost a whisper, and managed a small smile.  No matter what happened, he wanted to do the right thing now, and that was what mattered.

 

Even though he said it, no "thank you" would ever be enough to truly thank Sandre.  Visar felt as if he owed him his life, almost.  They made their way at a steady pace back to the Tower.