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The real? version of star wars...


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Hah, I sent it to my best friend, who REALLY hasn't seen Star Wars, and this was her response:

 

woah. that person knew a *lot*. here's my version:

 

ACT I

we're on a ship in space (don't know why it has to be called a "ship" but bear with me) and everything is in chaos. there are stars falling out of the sky and a beeping trashcan aka robot is trying to find his way to safety amongst the chaos. a gold robot is giving orders because he has a british accent, and british accented-folk should always give orders because they sound more correct.

 

ACT II

we're in the desert. an old guy with a beard--obe wan (not asian)--offers words of wisdom. someone's father is acknowledged as dead. princess leah falls in love with her brother and another guy. finds out her brother is her brother. goes with the other guy instead.

 

ACT III

the father who was acknowledged as dead turns out not to be--he is alive! he is dark (darth) vador! he is a fighting machine and the reason the stars have been dropping from the sky and the lovers haven't been able to marry. he is slain by his son in a duel that involves light sabers whizzing around and colliding. the princess marries her non-brother lover (Indian Jones). someone falls down a tunnel.

 

THE END!

 

oh! somewhere in there, amongst the chaos: a mammoth-gorilla type creature appears and people are scared; turns out, he's friendly.

 

also, whenever anyone is in trouble, they pray to Yoda, a small green god, and he sends them wisdom through his son Obewan--a sort of Jesus figure.

 

Yes, at one point she really did think his name was Dark Vader. *sigh*

 

  • 2 weeks later...

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