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Finally Free!! (attn Perivar)


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Kabria thought that once she was a full Sister, and surely by the time she was bonded, that her hours would be her own. Since returning to the Tower with the children, and a new Warder she had been sadly disabused. Currently she was teaching Novices, a task she despised. They were learning to make small flames, one of the simpler tasks; but some of these girls still struggled with grasping Saidar every time they tried. Kabria’s musical voice was conducive to leading them through their exercises, at least when she didn’t sound as if she wanted them all dead.

“Again Marie, you will get it.” Her focus was only half on the 8 girls in her classroom. Her gaze kept cutting North to the Warder’s training yards, where Perivar was teaching a class. It was clear from the irritation in the bond that it was not going well.


Three sharp raps on the door frame drew her attention way. Glancing quickly at the girls, who were now working in pairs passing the flames back and forth she stepped out into the hall to meet her Ajah Sister. “G’day Mariel, did you need one of the Novices?” To her shock the woman had come to see her, to assign her a task. “Thank you Mariel, I will gather my Warder and we will be ready to leave in a few days” Saying a few more quiet good byes she stepped back into the room to see that all the girls were in a circle, giggling and passing around at least 12 different flames. Kabria clapped her hand loudly and used Saidar to swat them all. “Is this what you do when Aes Sedai backs are turned?” She sent all the girls away properly chastised and punished, they would all have prune hands for a week if when the Mistress of Novices was threw with them.


Stopping by her rooms in the Green Ajah Quarters to make sure everything was in place Kabria grabbed her extra key and headed out into the yards. Since she had returned back bonded, she’d been moved to a room with a second, smaller, bedchamber for her Warder. Of course she had no intention of making Perivar sleep there, but still she went through the motions of redecorating the entire space to make it comfortable for a new Gaidin. Certain proprieties had to met, and she was told in no uncertain terms that she would not flaunt her relationship for the Tower to see.


With the bond finding Perivar was easy, but when she spotted him he was still with a class so Kabria took a seat on the wooden fence to wait. Her presence distracted more than a few of the young men, but when Perivar saw the nature of their distraction he set them straight. His jealousy was often obvious, if not usually so violent. It must have been the two weeks in separate beds that had him so cranky.


After his class had filed there way out of the practice area Kabria hopped down and took her Warder a full waterskin. “Here.” She said tossing it to him with a grin. “You look like you could use this.” Even though he gave her a marked stare, he still finished most of the skin before handing it back. “Oh, and while I’m thinking about it I have something else for you too.” Dipping into her belt pouch she pulled out her second key and pressed it into his hand. “I thought it was time you stopped sleeping in the barracks like a Tower Guard.”


Turning on her heels she put a hand up to stop his following. “Oh no no. You will go bathe and gather your things before you come anywhere near our room. I won’t have you messing up all the work I have done. Our rooms are on the second gallery, last door on the south side.” She walked away leaving a grinning Perivar behind. Kabria wanted time to freshen up and get a head start on preparing for their trip and the explanations she had to make. She’d been keeping a secret from Perivar, and before they left the Tower again it was time to come clean.


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"Again, the way I showed you this time.  This is not child's play.  If you don't shape up I will send you to the Mistress of Trainees.  I am sure she would love to hear of your lack of effort."  All of the recruits stiffened at the mention of the Mistress of Trainees.  A few even looked around wildly expecting to see her appear out of nowhere. 


His frustration was showing through.  It wasn't the recruits that had him on edge.  Well they were a small part of it, he despised training recruits.  He could not stand excuses or sniveling complaints that they were being pushed to hard.  Any who thought to try them on him soon learned that it was an unwise course of again.


The true source of his frustration was the destruction of the illusion he had worked up while he waited for them to be able to bond.  The illusion of a perfect life that he had expected when he finally became Kabria's warder.  That illusion had been unceremoniously shattered though he still thanked the creator that he was her warder.  Despite the letdowns he considered himself the luckiest man alive.  The letdowns were more an annoyance than anything.  Like their return to Tar Valon.  He had envisioned a different return to the Tower than the reality that met them.  They were bonded yet he was living in the barracks while she was nestled away in the Tower doing the light knows what.  It was hardly what either of them had expected. 


Perivar had sensed Kabria's earlier frustration which only added to his.  Now she was coming towards him.  Shortly thereafter she appeared in the training grounds.  She took a seat on a rail of the fence which surrounded the training area.  Her presence caused quite a stir which sent him up like an illuminator's fireworks.  Gawking at an Aes Sedai, his Aes Sedai, earned them some sharp words and some extra laps to cool their heads.  He couldn't blame them really.  She was an Aes Sedai and she was beautiful.  He remembered a time when she would have had some sharp words for them.  The thought made him chuckle as he watched their retreating backs.


Before he knew it Kabria was tossing him a waterskin. “You look like you could use this.”  For that she earned a glare.  She was amused, what she probably meant was that he should upend the skin over his head to cool his temper.  What was worse is that she was right.  Perivar arched an eyebrow as she handed him the key.  Could it be?  Finally he thought.  It had been far too long and far too difficult being away from her.


Perivar began to follow Kabria though she stopped him in his tracks. “Oh no no. You will go bathe and gather your things before you come anywhere near our room. I won’t have you messing up all the work I have done. Our rooms are on the second gallery, last door on the south side.”  He said nothing though he was grinning as he bounced the key in the palm of his hand.


After washing and putting on clean clothes, Perivar made his way to their rooms.  As happy as he was he could not help worrying over a few things as he made his way through the Tower.  Kabria was neat and liked everything in its place.  He on the other hand was a mess.  The only things he ever put in their proper places were weapons and armor.  It was not uncommon to see his clothes thrown about the room.  During their short stays together Kabria had often commented on his ability to make a mess in every room he stayed in.  The thought brought a smile to his face.  Any thoughts of her often produced that result.


Finally finding the right door, Perivar turned the key then opened the door without looking inside.  Tucking the key away he picked up his belongings and entered the room.  He stood their gaping like a lummox.  The rooms were so nice compared to what he had grown accustomed to.  Their new quarters were so nicely decorated that he held onto his belongings afraid to put them down.  She must have seen to the decorating herself.  Perivar was still standing there with all his belongings when Kabria came to greet him.       

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Even being in a rush Kabria paused at the door to her rooms and smiled. She’d never been one to care about curtains or pillow fabric, but she’d enjoyed redecorating what would be their rooms.


She’d had the walls painted a dark Green and Borderland armor and weapons from every nation hung as décor. In between were the flags of Saldea, Arafel, Sheiner, and Kandor and a single painting showing a Sea Folk raker. Kabria would never forget where she’d come from. All the fabrics were silks and brocades in as many shades of green as gold as there were. The bed chamber was lavish, done in a dark brown with maroon velvet bed curtain and silk sheets, every surface was polished black stone, even the fireplace was marble faced. Perivar’s room was by far the least detailed, but then redecorating it had only been for show. The walls were a polished stone and there was a single chair and the bed, all done up in shades of Green, linen and wools. His fireplace was plain stone, but was large enough to heat a room five times the size.


Using Saidar she threw open the curtains to let in the afternoon light, and made a vexed sound when she saw the papers she’d left scattered on her desk. Carefully and neatly she tucked them all away in the drawer; still upset with herself that she’d let it get so disorganized. Order was necessary on a ship or people could get hurt and neatness was a habit Kabria had carried with her all these years. So caught up in berating herself Kabria didn’t notice Perivar approaching until the door swung inward.


“Are you going to stand their all day? Or do you plan on coming in?” Smiling up at him she used Saidar to take his things and set them aside, using another flow to shut and latch the door. “So what do you think?” Grabbing his hand she pulled him along to show him first his bedchamber. “Don’t worry love, the only thing that has to sleep there is your boots, plus..who knows if I bond another Warder he may need the space.” Perivar’s mouth hung open and Kabria gave him a wink. As if she would really ever have another warder


Opening the door to the bedchamber she stepped back to give him a better look. At the same time she used air to open two doors on the large armoire revealing several coats and three shirts for every coat, and two cloaks. One of them had a dizzy making quality if you stared at it too long.


Seeing his eyes light up and feeling his joy in the bond was enough to bring Kabria to tears, and had she been anyone but an Aes Sedai she might have cried. Instead she leaned against the doorway watching him walk around bed chamber. “Well, is everything to your liking Perivar Gaidin?”


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Perivar was still gaping when he felt his belongings being taken from him.  He noticed Kabria smiling up at him but her words were lost on him.  He detected a hint of amusement through the bond, likely she had just thrown another jab at him.  Some might think it odd but he enjoyed her playful jabs.  Kabria was very witty and he was an easy target for he was not.  She was very loving in an odd sort of way.  Her witty jabs were usually reinforced with a lovely smile that made his heart skip a beat.  She could be downright nasty when you angered her though that seemed to be the case with most women.  Either way you had to have thick skin if you had any chance of getting along with her.  He had even come to appreciate her occasional sharp words.  She was very passionate and had a fiery temper at times.  You could easily be overwhelmed by her if you did not possess a backbone.  If he wasn't still taking in the room he would have chuckled.  Kabria was not short but he towered over her.  Despite the disparity in size there was no doubt that she was in charge.


He let himself be guided by Kabria.  She asked his opinion on their new quarters but he was speechless.  She showed him the smaller bedchamber which made him frown as he believed it was meant for him.  “Don’t worry love, the only thing that has to sleep there is your boots, plus..who knows if I bond another Warder he may need the space.”  For a moment his jaw dropped until she winked at him.  This was not the first time she teased him about taking on another warder.  She knew how to get a rise out of him.


Kabria led him to the bedchamber that they would share.  She stepped back so he could look into the room.  It was decorated beautifully but his eyes were drawn to the large armoire as she opened its doors with the one power.  Kabria had clothes made for him though his eyes were glued to one of the two cloaks.  There in front of him was one of the infamous color-shifting cloaks.  The fancloth cloak made with the one power.  The cloak that would identify the person wearing it as a warder.  Wearing that in Kabria's company would name him her warder for the world to see.  It was like the final piece of the puzzle.


“Well, is everything to your liking Perivar Gaidin?”  Her musical words snapped him from his thoughts.  To his surprise he was standing in front of the armoire touching the cloak.  He did not realize that he had moved.  Perivar stared at her over his shoulder.  "More than you can imagine."  He had not found his voice yet so it came out as a near whisper.


Perivar walked to her taking her hands in his.  Looking in her eyes he spoke "For the first time since coming to Tar Valon I..."  He stopped, searching for the right words before he continued  "I finally feel like I am home."  Perivar wrapped Kabria in his arms hugging her tight.  For some reason something clicked and everything in the world felt right."Thank You"  He whispered in her ear. 

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Aes Sedai calm was no match for the passion of true love; and tears sprang up in Kabria’s eyes as Perivar’s arms enveloped her. “No Perivar, thank you.” She buried her face in his neck, as she often did when she was feeling her love for him so strongly. It was comforting and at the same time sensual. Her lips found his neck before her mind had even had the thought and the next several hours were lost in the christening of their rooms.


Rolling over on to her elbow Kabria brushed a few stray hair’s from Perivar’s face; weeks later she was still not sure how she felt about the lack of braids. “I am sad to say that the next few night may be the last we see in this bed for some time. I am being sent away from Tar Valon again..” She unveiled the story of the missing Green Sister and explained how her horse and returned to Tar Valon without her rider, she even told of the noble in Fal Moran they were being sent to see. “I am feeling sadness for my missing Sister, but also. .happiness at being able to return to our home so soon. When I got t talked into teaching the Novices I was sure that it would be years before we would see the Borderland again. Now with the prospect of returning home only a few days away I am elated, is that wrong?”


With a Sister of her Ajah missing Kabria felt as if the emotions she was feeling were wrong, and insensitive. But try as she would she could not tamp them down.


“I would like to try and find my family while we are gone, and meet yours too.” Her fingers curled tighter in his hair and she felt him wince even before she felt the echo of his pain. A part of her said she should have apologized, but instead she rolled over on her back and stared up at the dark velvets. This felt like time to tell him the secret she’d been keeping, but Kabria didn’t want to ruin their first day. perhaps after dinner, or in the morning…or even once they were outside of Tar Valon


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Kabria's tears of joy led to her burying in her face in his neck which led to her soft lips on his neck...


Later Kabria spoke as she brushed stray strands of hair from his face.  How bittersweet.  It seemed like another cruel joke until he learned of the reason for their pending departure.  A sister missing was grave news and they were being sent to investigate.  She was going into harms way and was elated though she was feeling bad that she was feeling elated at the prospect of returning to the Borderlands due to the nature of their mission.


He was about to speak, about to tell her that she could not control how she felt when she spoke again.  She mentioned the search for her family again and wanting to meet his.  Her fingers gripped his hair tighter and tighter until he winced. 


What had her so on edge?  Was it her missing sister?  Was she worried about not being able to find her family?  Was she on edge about meeting his?  Perhaps it was a combination of all of them?  He didn't think he would ever understand women.  They should come with an instruction manual.  No man he had ever met had admitted that he understood women.


The difficulty was he had promised not to press her.  There were things she could not or would not talk about.  As much as it grated he had said he would not press her to reveal what she did not wish to.  Would simply asking her what was the matter be considered pressing her?  He did not think so but what did he know, he was a man.


Perivar rolled onto his back next to her staring at nothing in particular as the thoughts ran wild in his head.  If only he had a way with women.  Did she want him to ask?  Perivar propped himself up on his elbow.  It was his turn to toy with her hair as his eyes drank her in.  Mintues passed before he found the courage to speak.  "Whatever it is that is bothering you will continue to do so until you get it off your chest.  I am not pressing you to speak but...well if you wish to talk I am here for you.  If not then I understand."  It was a noble effort but it was a lie and she would know it for what it was.  The bond did have certain drawbacks. 

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"Whatever it is that is bothering you will continue to do so until you get it off your chest.  I am not pressing you to speak but...well if you wish to talk I am here for you.  If not then I understand."


The lie was obvious, it was driving him crazy that he didn’t know every aspect of her life, and yet he was trying. For that he deserved the truth. Rolling over onto her stomach so she could look into his eyes she took a deep breath and unfolded her story.


“There is really nothing to tell Perivar, there was or at least I thought there was. While we were in Fal Dara I began to feel..sick. Nauseous and a little dizzy, not all the time, but always right before I ate. Then I just began to feel, different. It is really nothing I can explain, but I thought…I thought that I was with child.” The shock he felt was palpable, but Kabria pushed on. “I was afraid to tell you for fear of how you would react. I really couldn’t see you wanting to send your Aes Sedai and your child to fight Trolloc’s. You never would have agreed, so I prayed and kept quiet. Even after coming back to Tar Valon I still felt odd, but I couldn’t just go to any Sister. I had to find the right one, and the right excuse for asking. Come to find out the One Power shields us from nausea, and my feelings were just of being sick. I went to the Yellow Ajah, and they healed the small virus, but ever since I have felt like I should have shared my thoughts with you.”


The bond was quiet, a sea of complete clam and Kabria sighed. “I do not know if you are mad at me for the omission or for telling you now, but with everything that has happened with us I thought it was best you not know until I was sure. Rest assured that I won’t be making that mistake again.”


Stealing the red silk sheet Kabria wrapped it around herself and rolled out of bed. She’d spilled her secret, and yet in the silence she felt no better.  “Well.. aren’t you going to say anything?! Yell at me?! Comfort me?! Anything would be better than sitting there like a stone!” He would be feeling her own anger in the bond, but unless he was daft he would also feel her fear. Perivar was always an open book to her, and to have the bond so silent was frightening.


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A myriad of things should have been running through his head though he felt numb.  It was a habit he had developed early on in life.  Growing up in the Borderlands had left him jaded and often times it seemed as if he lacked compassion.  It was not something he did conciously.  It was just something that had developed over time.  Sometimes he was exactly like a stone.


He heard everything she said though he was too numb to react until he felt anger through the bond as she wrapped herself in the silk sheet and got up from the bed.   


Perivar vaulted to his feet.  He strode over to Kabria turning her to face him.  There was a tighness around his eyes as he looked into hers.  Pain shot through his entire body.  Pain and shame.  He had been so consumed with training that he missed what should have been plain as day. 


"I'm sorry Kabria...it seems that I have much to learn yet.  I should have known, I should have sensed it but I was too consumed with training.  I thought...no there are no excuses.  I was wrong and I am sorry.  You are well now?"


For the moment he was too angry with himself to be angry with her about keeping this from him.  He could not be mad with her, he had told her she did not have to share all of her thoughts with him. 


Something she said dug at him until the numbness went away.  He suddenly felt the urge to speak his mind.  "I want a promise from you.  If you decide that you want to have a child you will take leave from the Tower.  I will not have you putting yourself and our unborn child in harms way without dire need."  She opened her mouth to argue but he cut it off.  "No, I have a say in this matter.  I will go wherever you lead and do as you say in all matters involving Aes Sedai business but in this case I will not budge."  He did not realize how loud his voice had risen, he was near to shouting.  Perivar stared into her eyes, a hint of challenge glimmering in his.  "I'm sorry I did not mean to shout but I will not budge Kabria, I want your promise on it."


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Finally the rock cracked and she could feel anger, compassion, and pain; all the things she’d hoped he’d feel from the start. Looking into his eyes her fear was gone, but there was a dangerous glint in his eyes, almost predatorily. Kabria drew herself up to her full height and took a step back so she wouldn’t have to crane her neck to meet his gaze.


"No, I have a say in this matter.  I will go wherever you lead and do as you say in all matters involving Aes Sedai business but in this case I will not budge." He was shouting at her and Kabria’s hand twitched with the urge to slap his face, instead she wove a ward to block out any sound and prepared to give as good as she’d got. "I'm sorry I did not mean to shout but I will not budge Kabria, I want your promise on it." Her normally wide blue eyes were narrowed and she glared at him, not wanting to accept the apology.


Turning away before she could say something she would regret she walked out into the sitting room, weaving another ward, letting the first dissipate. She took her time adding spices to the wine and used the fire blazing on the hearth rather than Saidar to heat the poker that she stirred with. Once she was sure the wine was hot she poured a single glass and turned to face Perivar, her voice chillingly calm. “I never wanted children Perivar, in case you have not noticed I am not the mothering type. That was true until the day you and I fell in love, often while I was still an Accepted I thought about failing the test for Aes Sedai and running away to be with you. Only I couldn’t, I never wanted to be Aes Sedai either, at least not until I realized the good I could do in the world. Since the day I first understood what the Green was I have wanted nothing more…of course as I said, until I met you. Now I have you Perivar, I hold your bond and your heart and still I feel as if something is missing. Is it a child?.perhaps.” Walking over to the large window she stood staring down into the Garden’s below and the Warder’s practice ground. Other Green Aes Sedai mingled, some watching their Warders work the forms, and others sparing, it was a calming scene. “Or perhaps it is not, but the one think I can tell you is this…” Setting her glass on the window ledge she turned to face him with her eyes blazing. It wasn’t fully anger she was feeling, but passion too. “ I will not give up being Aes Sedai, even for a moment. I am what I am..NO! we are what we are and if I am Aes Sedai with child  and you are my Warder then that is what I will be! This is our lives, you cannot take leave or a day pass from life. IF and I say if someday we have a child, then I will leave these Shining Walls, but I will not.. and cannot promise that I will sit idly by like some farm wife while the child grows inside me. If there is need of me I will go and I expect you to be at my side. If you cannot do that….”


Kabria’s mouth clicked closed, the anger boiling inside of her had started to take over and she’d almost said the words she swore she’d never utter.

Never in anger, and never if they were not true.


“I would never ask you to give up your sword, and you cannot expect me to give up my fight.” Gliding across the room she took his hands and looked up into his eyes. “Please say you understand how I feel? Please? I don’t want you angry with me over something that could be years in the future or not at all. I… I am sorry I was not more honest sooner, then perhaps this would not have gone so far.” It grated Kabria to apologize, even when she knew she was wrong. It was her stubborn pride that almost always got her into these situations, and she was trying to work on it..if only with Perivar.


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He was a fool.  He often was when it came to words.  No, that was not the whole truth, he was a fool most of the time but more often when it came to discussions or arguments.  He had handled this badly, all he managed to do was make her angry.  That was something he had become very good at.


Kabria walked away to fix herself a glass of spiced wine.  From what he felt building through the bond he expected to be struck by lightning at any moment.  Kabria was not a person who could be bullied.  If the bond did not tip him off he might have cringed as her chill words struck him.  By what he felt she should be shouting but instead her tone was calm.  He almost wished she would shout at him, he could understand that.


"Now I have you Perivar, I hold your bond and your heart and still I feel as if something is missing. Is it a child?.perhaps.”  The words assaulted him, each of the latter like a hammer blow to his heart.  Perivar stared at the floor as she walked to the large window.  He felt...inadequate, like he had let her down in some way or failed to give her what she needed.  He wanted to make her happy though clearly he was failing. 


“Or perhaps it is not, but the one thing I can tell you is this…”  Kabria's words made him look up from the floor, for a brief moment he stared at her back until she turned to face him.  The first thing he noticed was her eyes.  The passion in her words drove the point home.  She was what she was and would not change it for the world.  He had no right to ask her to do so. 


"I expect you to be at my side."  As if there would ever be a question of him being at her side.  The near insult stung.  "If you cannot do that….”  For a moment he held his breath.  From what he felt through the bond she was near to bursting with anger.  He thought she was about to say something that he would not be able to forgive yet the words ended there. 


Frustration and anger were beginning to well up inside of him.  Now might be a good time to leave before things got ugly.  Before he had a chance to leave she spoke while making her way to him.  The anger and frustration began to dissipate as she drew near.  Gliding across the room she took his hands looking up into his eyes.  Her tone was musical again.  The fire in her words seemed tamped down, her tone was sincere.


Perivar pulled her close.  "I am sorry too.  It is not right for me to ask you to change who you are.  I knew what you were, what you would become when I fell in love with you.  I cannot ask you to give up your fight but I do worry about you."  He gazed into her eyes driving the point home as if she did not already know.  "I do not like you being in harms way but I know that you will be, I know that you have to be because of what you are.  Still it does not make it any easier.  That is something that I have to learn to deal with.  That being said there is nobody I would rather have by my side..."  He smiled at her as she looked up into his eyes.  "I mean there is nobody's side that I would rather be at."  He chuckled at his poor attempt at a joke as he picked her up twirling her around.       



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Being wrapped up in his arms Kabria had to struggle to hang on to her anger, and with in moments it melted away. "I do not like you being in harms way but I know that you will be, I know that you have to be because of what you are.  Still it does not make it any easier.  That is something that I have to learn to deal with.”


It was a sad fact they both had to deal with. She did not seek to die, or to lead him to his death, but it was a sad fact, defined not only by their passion, but by her Ajah. On the way back from Fal Dara she’d courted death as easily as he, and had not thought about it until later… that her death sealed his fate.  True some Warder’s had been saved from death, but Perivar would never allow another to hold his bond. Which meant he would die avenging her. That being said there is nobody I would rather have by my side..."   Her smile was almost sad when she looked up into his eyes.  "I mean there is nobody's side that I would rather be at."


“No Perivar” She reached up a lay a hand on his face, gently caressing his cheek. “We stand together…and I will always be by your side.” Not often did she let the chance pass to remind him that she was in charge, but somehow it didn’t seem right anymore. Any man who was willing to bond himself to an Aes Sedai should be shown more respect. “I think that if we wed we should find someone who can perform the Sea Folk’s vows.” Standing up on tip toe she kissed him lightly and buried her face in his chest.  Marriage was another topic that could start a fight, so she was willing to let it go. If it ever happend for them it would not be easy, and she would not be the one to ask.


After several, quiet, peaceful minutes she gently unwrapped his arms, rather he let her unwrap them, and she stepped back drying her eyes. A fight had not been how she wanted to spend their first hours together, but life seldom went as planned.


“We should talk about the trip, I was hoping to leave in a few days. Just as soon as we can gather supplies and I can make the necessary arrangements with my Novices classes. And I am sure you will have to see to training the young recruits?” Tucking away her handkerchief she retireved her glass of wine and poured one for Perivar. "I think you and I can do what needs to be done, but I was told if we wanted help it would be made avaiable to us. What do you think?" No doubt that help meant Tower Guards and a few Sister's even more newly raised than herself. Glancing pass Perivar and into the mirrior she wondered how many more years it would be until she had the ageless face. 

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Kabria touched his cheek as she spoke.  The feel of her fingers on his face was blissful.  If not for the wonderous musical tone of her voice he would have missed her words completely as his senses were overloaded by her caresses.  His body tingled as she kissed him then buried her face in his chest.  Holding her in his arms he could almost forget the world outside of their room.  It always amazed him how she worried over being the one in charge.  Did she really think that his pride was so strong that he could not handle being submissive to her.  Kabria often made subtles comments minimizing her role in order to take the sting from the fact that she was in charge. 


Truth be told it did not bother him in the least.  Since the day he arrived in Tar Valon he knew that he would be a Warder and that it would be an Aes Sedai who commanded his actions.  He had been resigned to it from the start, it was simply the way things were.  What he hadn't expected was that he would fall in love.  Fall in love with an Accepted.  The Accepted turned Aes Sedai that now held his bond.  He drank in her scent.  A flowery scent that arosed him to the point of madness.  He yearned for her though he restrained himself.  He was not an animal and now was not the time.


“I think that if we wed we should find someone who can perform the Sea Folk’s vows.”  The words caught him off balance but wonder flowed through the bond, wonder and his undying love for her.  He had joked about such an event when they had discussed the fact that she he would be submissive to her.  A little bit that an Aes Sedai had let slip to him during a conversation on Sea Folk customs.  She was one of the few Sea Folk women in the White Tower.  If they wed in the Sea Folk custom then he would be in charge so to speak when they were in private while she would retain her authority over him in public.


Why had she mentioned it though?  The bundle of emotions in the back of his head were so entangled that he could not make heads or tails of it.  Could she be serious?  He often had thoughts of marrying her and carrying her away to have a normal life yet he knew that was not possible.  They were what they were and nothing would change that.  Neither would change it if they could, they were both passionate about their cause.  Were other Aes Sedai married?  Certainly none but the Greens would consider it.  If any had married their warders he had not heard of it.  Was this the piece that was missing for Kabria?  As much as she loved him he was not sure if she would want to marry him.  Could she be considering just to give him equal footing in their relationship.  It was beyond him to comprehend at the moment.  Her body pressed up against his was making it difficult to concentrate.  If his brain had not been so addled he might have detected the slight tension in the bond.


When she unwrapped herself from his arms he suddenly felt as if his silence had spoken for him.  Was she expecting him to discuss marriage here and now.  It seemed more like a fleeting comment than a topic for discussion.  The bundle of emotions changed, now it seemed as if she was focused.  Still it did not give him any indication as to what she was focused on until she spokeabout their upcoming mission.


“We should talk about the trip, I was hoping to leave in a few days. Just as soon as we can gather supplies and I can make the necessary arrangements with my Novices classes. And I am sure you will have to see to training the young recruits?” It was his turn to walk over to the large window.  Warders, Tower Guards, and recruits could be seen training in the yards.  He could not be rid of the trainees quick enough.  It would be a snap to pass off that duty.  After all Aes Sedai business was Aes Sedai business and it took precedence over training recruits. 


"I think you and I can do what needs to be done, but I was told if we wanted help it would be made avaiable to us. What do you think?"  Her voice became louder as she walked over to where he stood handing him a glass of wine.  Perivar thanked her, he held the glass but he did not drink as he thought on the mission.  More Aes Sedai might raise a few questions though it could easily be overlooked with all the trouble in the Borderlands. 


The trouble in the Borderlands had him on edge.  Others would not see it but Kabria would.  Well she would feel it actually.  The Borderlands had stood united against the Shadow for as long as he could remember yet now they fought each other as if they had been enemies for ages.  He thought of Kabria's safety first and foremost.  Newly raised Aes Sedai could be a hindrance but they might also tip the scales in their favor.  "I am sure we can do what needs to be done ourselves though a little help might come in handy if we find ourselves in over our heads.  We know very little at this point, there is no telling what we will discover."  If anything at all he thought to himself.  Either way the news of an Aes Sedai disappearing in the Borderlands was disturbing.  Someone had to look into it but he wasn't about to offer Kabria up as another victim.  Foolish pride aside, he would take whatever help they would offer.


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She could feel his concern for her, and his worry that his protection would not be enough, but Kabria had decided it was about time that he learned he was a Warder. Did he not see, or did he doubt his own deadly grace? She had seen the change occur in him, from young man to deadly warrior, it was time he saw it in himself. “I think for now we will journey alone. It is not so far a trip that help cannot be sent for, surely no need will be that urgent.” A tinge of doubt entered the bond from Perivar, but that only made her more determined than ever to make him see that he was enough.. “I will leave word for a few Sister’s to be at the ready, as well as Tower Guards.”


“You and I have been under wing long enough, and if it was not felt that I could handle this mission I never would have been sent. The Green Ajah cannot afford to lose a Sister because she is too weak to do what needs to be done.” Turning away she walked back into their bed chamber and through the small door at the back that led to her dressing room. Many Sister’s who lived in the Tower full time had acquired personal servants, but not intending to stay, Kabria made due with what the Tower provided. Going to the first wardrobe she pulled out her saddle bags, and the one small pack which she already had prepared. Feeling Perivar in the doorway she turned to meet his eyes as she let the sheet drop to the floor. There were more important things to worry about, but still she could not help but tease him. Giving him a small smile she walked over to the second wardrobe and began pawing through her clothes. She could feel his eyes scanning her, taking in her pale skin where the sun had not touched, and the dark tattoos along her back. Kabria no longer blushed at standing naked before him, but her hands did move a little faster at choosing out silk embroidered pants and a creamy white shirt. “If you have time to stand and gawk Gaidin, I assume all of our things are at the ready?” It was a foolish question, as they had just finished speaking moments before, but it got his attention.


“We can leave tomorrow or the day after, however long you think you need to gather supplies. I want to travel light..” Her cheeks went red as she remembered the first time he’d tried to teach her survival skills. Quickly she fumbled her way into her shirt, gaining a few moments to compose her face. “..no tent, we will stay at Inn’s when we can and find other shelter when we cannot.” Kabria said as her head popped out of her shirt. “We will need a few changes of nicer clothes, just in case, but other than that we will make due.” Leaving the laces of her shirt undone she ducked back into the wardrobe to grab her knee high boots.


“Really Perivar, you must stop worrying so much. You and I can face whatever comes.” She patted his cheek as she walked by him and back out into the sitting room. “We’ve already been through so much and survived, plus I thought you would be thrilled to see home again?” Tugging on her boots she looked up to meet his eyes. “I know that I long to see the land I was born from. It may sound strange, but sometimes it’s almost like I can feel the Borderlands calling me home.” She laughed an almost bitter sound and finished with her last boot. “Then again I have felt much the same about the sea. Perhaps its just my longing to see more of the world than these walls.”


From her bookshelf she took two of her smaller books, setting them aside to be packed. Being raised to a full Sister did not leave her much time to read, but she didn’t feel comfortable being far from a book.


“Were you going to get dressed Gaidin?” She eyed him lazily up and down. “Or are you planning on going like that to gather supplies? I am sure a few of the women wouldn’t mind….” She left her words of jealousy unsaid, the bond spoke volumes enough of her dislike for other women even near him.


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Perivar nodded as she said they would go alone though a hint of doubt passed through the bond.  Kabria had made up her mind which meant there was no use trying to argue with her.  It would be easier to push a boulder uphill than to change her mind once it was made.  At least she would make preparations to have Aes Sedai and Tower Guards at the ready.


Perivar didn't doubt that she could handle the mission just that he did not want to chance anything, especially when her life depended upon it.  He was in the doorway to their bedchamber now.  He could not help but drink in the sight of her as she dropped the silk sheet to the floor.  Her body was perfectly proportioned, he could not help but stare.  No man had that much will power.  Well they were alone anyway, there was nothing wrong with inspecting a masterpiece.  No doubt she was teasing him now and the smile she flashed as she moved to the other wardrobe only made him all the more certain that it was.  He felt the urge to walk over to her and take her right there but he knew how precious the little time was with which they had to prepare.  As much as he wanted to make love to her now there would be time later.  Still it did not make the urge any easier to ignore. 


“If you have time to stand and gawk Gaidin, I assume all of our things are at the ready?”  Her words made him avert his eyes.  Light how she liked to play with him.  She had perfected the art of getting a rise out of him.  He brought his eyes back to her then smiled, let her chew on that.


He watched her dress as he tried to concentrate on her instructions.  She had a way about her that addled his brain.  It was hard to concentrate when he was in the room with her.  Especially when she was walking around him toying with him.


“Were you going to get dressed Gaidin?” She eyed him lazily up and down and he realized that he was still naked.  “Or are you planning on going like that to gather supplies? I am sure a few of the women wouldn’t mind….”  It didn't bother him to be in the flesh.  He could stand naked in a hall filled with people gawking at him and he could care less.  What he did care about was that he was standing around when there were preparations to make.  If he did not get them done now then there would be no alone time for them tonight.  It was a shame that he had finally been allowed into her quarters and they would not have time to enjoy the privacy.  As much as he wanted to be away from Tar Valon, a few days alone in their new quarters would be most welcome.


Perivar dressed quickly then left their rooms to get their things in order...



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Returning his leering Kabria lounged on the bed watching Perivar dress, it never seemed to bother him the way it her. Which was disappointing, because she was sure he would be very handsome when he blushed.  With a regretful sigh she pushed herself up off the bed and took her throwing knives out of the drawer. She wanted to get some practice in before their trip. Not bothering to grab a coat or a cloak she took the back stairs through the Green Ajah Quarters and down into the gardens. From there it was a short walk to the practice yards. Straw dummies in many sizes, some shaped like Trolloc’s dotted the grounds, as did a few stacks of hay bails with brightly painted targets in their center. This is where Warder’s and Sister’s alike had their target practice, with bows and knives and any other weapon that could be thrown.


Stepping up to a white line painted in the dirt, Kabria took aim at the large hay Trolloc and let her knife fly. It landed with a tiny thud in its arm. Sighing she threw another, this time hitting closer to where she aimed. Perivar had made sure she knew the use of her sword and staff and dagger, but he’d never spent much time with her on her knives. Walking up to gather for another try she took a moment to stuffy her placement. All had been with in a foot of each other, if not precisely where she aimed. Back at the line she took a deep breath before her next throw; she tried to visualize the knife in the Trolloc’s eye..whipped her arm back as she’d been taught, flung it forward in one fluid and…nearly jumped out of her skin as a large man stepped in front of her throw. “I could have killed you! What are you a fool!!” He was twice as wide as Perivar, if not quite as tall, but he only laughed and stepped out of her way.  “I just saw that you were doing that all wrong, and thought I could help, but if you’d rather I not….”


Rolling her eyes Kabria was set to let him walk away, but then she remembered what he said about “doing it all wrong”. “Wait. What do you mean by all wrong?”


“Just as I said, you were doing it all wrong. Here let me show you.” The large man stepped up behind her and took a grip on her elbow. Her first reaction was to call him down but instead she watched intently as he took her arm through the motions. “Now you try” This time when she threw the knife sailed straight and took the Trolloc right in the eye. “That’s fantastic!” She smiled and tried another; all 5 of her knives landed touching and Kabria’s face was split with a rare grin. She usually saved her smiled for Perivar, but she couldn’t help but share one with the strange man. “I thank you stranger, I have been practicing for weeks and haven’t been able to make that shot.” Sticking out her hand she introduced herself and saw the man’s face drop.


“Oh I am sorry” he muttered, staring at his feet. “I didn’t know you were Aes Sedai..your face and those pants..” Kabria laughed and shook her head, she was so used to everyone seeing her as Aes Sedai that it was refreshing to know that someone other than Perivar still saw her as a woman too. “ It is alright. I am glad of your help, truly I am” When the large man dared to glance up she smiled warmly. “Please accept my thanks Tower Guard?” At the question in her voice he provided a name. “Tower Guard Amlon, I will keep that name in mind. Sister’s are always in need of Warder’s and now I can speak well of you.” Giving him one last smile she stepped back up to the white line to continue her practice under her new teachers’ watchful eye.

Three more sets of knives all landed home, and Kabria was ecstatic. “I have to leave day after tomorrow, but I would like another practice before I go. Can we meet again tomorrow at the same time?” After he agreed to help her, Kabria did a few laps around the yards before returning to her rooms through the gardens. She still had to pack and makes arrangements for her novices, and she wanted to try and have dinner waiting for Perivar when he was done.


As if thinking of him had been a summons they met in the hallway just inside the gardens, and Perivar’s eyes were a thunderhead. “What’s wrong? You look as if you swallowed something that doesn’t agree with you?”


OOC: Not sure what I intended, it just came out :) *grins*


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Perivar had gone to the armory, stables, and the kitchen before returning to their rooms to drop off some of the supplies for their saddle bags.  Kabria was nowhere to be seen.  He thought she might have gone to the library yet the bond told him otherwise.  He could have pointed right in the direction where she was at that very moment.  By the direction he knew she could only be in the practice yards.  Perivar walked to the large window with a view of the yards.


Perivar did not see her at first until he assumed the void to sharpen his vision.  There were several people about but he caught sight of her.  His heart sank as he spotted the man behind her holding her arm.  Fury filled him, he wanted to rip the man to pieces.  How dare he touch her.  Kabria did not seem to protest as she swung her arm forward.  She must have been practicing with her throwing knives.  Who was this man, could it be?  No, he promised to let that go.  As much as he tried it still creeped up on him now and again.  It was not an easy thing to get over no matter how long ago it had happened.


Perivar saw red as he walked.  He was boiling inside to the point that he failed to sense her coming towards him.  When he noticed her and sensed her joyous mood through the bond it sent him over the edge.  As much as he tried to hold it back he knew it showed on his face.  She looked innocent though true to form she made another of her comments.  “What’s wrong? You look as if you swallowed something that doesn’t agree with you?”


He spoke though kept walking right past her not slowing a step.  His words were spoken quietly as if through gritted teeth.  "Yes that's it, something didn't agree with me."  He sensed her mood through the bond and felt her eyes boring holes through him as he kept walking.  He added some comment about having a lot of preparations to make though he was unsure of the exact words he had spoken.


Perivar turned on his heels several paces from her.  Every bit of him wanted to turn again and kept walking but a little voice in his head reminded him of the last time he had done that.  His face twisted in pain as the events of that night played in his head. 


Thunder rang in his head as lightning crashed down around him.  He knelt there on the cobblestones rain soaked with the note and the gauntlets she had given him layed out before him.  Also on the ground before him was his sword and the dagger he had received on his ascension to Tower Guard.  Layed out before him to show her he was no threat to her.  His mind raced and his face twisted in pain.  Kabria, the woman he loved was looking at him as if he were a monster.  It was more than he could take.  He was in a rage, pain gripped his heart and threatened to rip it to pieces.  He had killed a man, a whitecloak in a fit of rage and at the moment she could not understand or forgive his actions.  She looked upon him as if he were the Dark One made flesh and he shouted at her.  He rose in anger and left.


The next day he heard about the Aes Sedai who ran up to the wall above the North Harbor and hurled the sword then kissed the Tower Guard who restrained her from throwing the necklace after the sword.  It had been his sword and she was the Aes Sedai.  That was enough for him to give up all hope and go north to the Blight.  Kabria came after him upon learning about his flight.  When she found him he was almost beyond hope, teetering on the brink of madness.  She brought him back to reality though not after telling him that it was more than a kiss.  It came from her own lips.  She was so angry with him that she did something drastic.  Kabria said it cut her deeply and he believed it, the pain on her face was not a facade.  He forgave her, he promised he would.  He had not mentioned it since yet at times it did assault his mind.


Perivar snapped back to reality with the feel of her hand on his face and her soft words attempting to soothe him.  His large brown eyes had welled up.  He looked down into her bright blue eyes, the look of concern was plain on her face.  "I'm sorry he whispered...I swore to forgive and forget.  The Dark One take me but it seems easier said than done."


Perivar stood there half slumped but his feet were firmly planted.  He would not budge, he would weather the storm.  If she had harsh words for him he would hear them out.  He would not walk away again in anger, never again would he walk away from her without giving her a chance to speak her mind.     


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Concern mixed with anger as he muttered about supplies and started to walk away. Kabria was stunned; she thought their fight from the morning was behind them, but this close she could feel something eating away at him. Staring at his retreating back she tried to recall the last things she’d said.


In many ways love had softened Kabria, taken some of the bite out of her tongue, but not enough for her to run and comfort Perivar even though she knew he hurt. Not after the way he’d acted, without explaining why. So she stood in the long hallway with her knives hanging from her hand and a blank look on her face. To anyone passing by she would have seemed frozen in time, but inside she reeled. She struggled to fight down her own anger while she poked at the small knot that was Perivar.


. "I'm sorry” His voice was barely above a whisper, so quiet that she strained to hear. “I swore to forgive and forget.  The Dark One take me but it seems easier said than done."


Forgive and forget? Confusion dominated and for a brief moment she was ready to accept his apology and move on, but the set of his shoulders took her back to their last great fight.


The rain pelted Kabria, but she no longer cared. With anger bubbling over in her she threw his sword into the harbor and the fool necklace was close behind. A hand, seemingly from the heavens gripped her and held her back.  Furiously she ripped her arm from his grasp, but instead of cutting him down with lightening she fell into his arms. The storm that night covered the sounds of passion coming from the little room at the Inn, and later it covered Kabria’s tears as she lay heart broken and trembling.


“I don’t know if you’ve lost your mind, or you really are just a fool Perivar Tarigan! You saw me with that Tower Guard down there didn’t you?! DIDN’T YOU!!” She was yelling in the open hallways and she couldn’t make herself care. At a distance she saw a flash of white, but that was the only sign of anyone else in the halls. His nod was enough to bring tears to Kabria’s eyes even as she shouted. “ And you thought it was him! Ahhhh!” she growled and stomped her foot, very much like a bore ready to charge. “I will not tell you again that it meant nothing, and caused me more harm than it could EVER cause you! That Tower Guard down there was only helping me learn my knives, which is good since you never cared to teach me with them! It was only a lesson, you’ve given as much to that little twit Selenessin and I saw how she looked at you!” Tossing her slightly sweaty curls from her face she lowered her voice and stood up to her full height. Looking at regal as any Queen. “I am not going to stand here in the halls and make a spectacle for the whole Tower to see.” She said with no guilt, as if it wasn’t she that had been yelling.  “I need to bathe and to pack and apparently you have other things to see to. So get to it!” Clapping her hands for all the world like he was a dog she turned on her heel and stalked back up to their rooms.


“Fool man! Wouldn’t know true love if it punched him in the face!”  Which if her temper didn't cool it just might. Not wanting to wait on a cooper tub to be brought up and buckets of water hauled from the kitchen she went to the Green Ajah baths and was glad for her Sisters company. She asked advice on managing a “cranky, over protective warder” and they spoke of holding multiple bonds. Kabria left feeling more calm, if still not pleased with Perivar.


In the solitutude of her dressing room she packed all the clothes she would need for the trip and left her saddle bags and pack by the door. “Let him take them down” she muttered to herself. “he is a Warder after all” With all her packing done and still no sign of Perivar, she took and book off the shelf and curled up, intent on losing herself in the history of her homeland. It was dry reading and all too soon her eyes began to grow heavy and her head dropped back…the book still open in her lap.


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Perivar weathered the storm however calling it a storm seemed a gross understatement.  It was as if the Dark One were loose and Perivar was his only focus.  Kabria was shouting for the whole world to hear yet he did not move, he would not.  Servants and girls in white quickly went the other way when they stumbled upon them.  Kabria seemed not to notice.


The skin around his eyes tightened a little more which each word.  Each insult that she flung in his face was like a dagger in his heart.  He doubted that one night scarred her more than it had him.  It had haunted him ever since yet she could not fathom it.  Rumors always sprouted wings spreading like wildfire.  None of those who told the tale knew exactly what Aes Sedai to affix to the rumor but he knew.  How many times he wanted to rip someones head off for mentioning it yet he could not, then all would know who the Aes Sedai was.  Her words continued to pelt him as if trying to drive him to his knees.  It seemed as though she would not relent and he could not leave.


The insults were unfair yet he took them without response.  She would not listen to reason.  It was his fault that she found no time to train with her throwing knives?  He had shown her the basics yet it was her responsibility to practice.  As far as Selenessin, he had no choice who he trained.  How could she hold that against him?  Now it was his fault that she was yelling making a spectacle for all to see?  He truly would never understand women.


His face became so tight that he thought his skin might tear.  She clapped her hands dismissing him like a servant.  He stared for a moment making sure she was aware of the hurt she had caused.  Sometimes she thought he was unflappable, as if he was incapable of feeling anything though it couldn't have been further from the truth when it came to his relationship with her.  For everything else he lacked emotion, but not for her.  She seemed to think nothing of cutting him to the bone.


When he was sure that she had seen the look of pain on his face Perivar turned sharply on his heels and stalked off looking like death.  His eyes were veiled in red, everywhere he looked he saw red.  He did his best to ignore the bundle of emotions in the back of his head.  Servants, Novices, and Accepted stepped from his path.  He even noticed the inquisitive glances of a few Aes Sedai who were obviously wondering what had a Warder so on edge.  At the moment he didn't care if the Amyrlin Seat stepped in his path, he would just keep on walking.


Perivar went to the yards to practice his forms yet his heart was not in it.  At this rate he would end up carving himself up like fool who picked up a sword for the first time thinking he was a blademaster.  Sheathing his sword he made for the nearest tavern.  He did not drink often but enough that his tolerance to the effects was rather high.


He was so drunk that he was surprised that he was able to make it to their rooms.  Well he hadn't exactly, not without help.  An Aes Sedai that he did not recognize politely directed him to the proper room.  Well he thought she was an Aes Sedai, he was not really sure. 


Fortunately for him Kabria was sound asleep when he returned.  Perivar made his way to the room that she had never intended him to use and fell fast asleep.



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  • 2 weeks later...

Urm..you're not supposed to reply to your own RP you butt monkey!!! I had a post mostly ready to go *pretends to be angry*  :-*


Looks through the rule book, nope don't see that one.  :)


Well butt munch, my Crystal ball is apparently not working properly and it's been over a week so I thought you may have forgot so I bumped it with another post.  I will gladly remove my extra post so you can post yours.   :P 


edit: my post has been removed  :P


edit: hmmm...odd I still don't see your post?  :P  I'll remove this one as soon as you post. 

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OOC: The key word in all that was mostly written.  :-* You have to know I would never forgot our posts. I was just busy with the holiday's and such.  ;D



IC:Dark was starting to fall when Kabria woke; her neck stiff from sleeping in the chair and her mood still sour. Uncharacteristically she tossed her book on the floor and let it lay. More stumbling than walking to her dressing table she splashed water on her face and washed the sleep out of her mouth.  She couldn’t understand why she was feeling so retched and then it hit her. Splashing water all over the floor she ran to her bedroom window in time to see Perivar stumbling through the garden’s below. It wasn’t she that felt as if she’d been run through a wringer backwards, it was her Warder.

Now that he was this close she could feel his inebriation, almost so strong as if it were her own. In a brief moment of wickedness the thought about locking the door and letting the fool sleep outside all night, but then she thought better of it. In a small corner of her mind she knew that his state was at least partially her fault.

Quickly she gathered her book and went back into their room, with the covers pulled up to her chin she listed as he stumbled through the outer sitting room and into the small cubby hole she’d designed. Kabria fought the urge to cry as she heard the door slam, and then the loud thump of him falling into bed. All that kept the tears at bay was the anger she still harbored at him for thinking she EVER could cheat.

Sleep came slowly and what little she did find was restless; before the sun was up she was out of bed and pacing the length of the room. By the silence on the other side of the wall she knew Perivar was still asleep, the question she kept debating was how to answer his bout of drinking. Sick of waiting and sick of arguing with herself Kabria embraced Saidar and threw open her door, and then his with a resounding crash.  A simple weave amplified her voice and made it echo in the small room. “Still sleeping at this hour Gaidin?” Using air she ripped off the covers he’d hardly used and tumbled his mattress to the floor, sending him sprawling with a groan. The headache behind his eyes and a sour stomach would be enough punishment she decided, so she released the source and stood staring down at him.


“You’ve caused me enough distress and embarrassment for one day. Get up and get dressed, we have things to do before we go.”


Turning on her heel she left him where he sat. If he wanted to be pig headed and start a fight she vowed not to let him. When he finally emerged from his rooms Perivar’s face was a thunder head and there was no sign of his usual smile. A brief flash of pain stabbed at her, but was quickly masked and she was haughty Green Ajah pride once more. In green silks with emeralds for jewels and dark green velvet slippers she looked every bit the part. Her hard eyed stare only added to the effect and made him look ever more the vagrant with dark circles under his eyes and the sour twist to his mouth.

“I’m glad you decided to join me, please sit. I need to know if our supplies are at the ready and if you will be ready to leave first thing tomorrow?” There was nothing in her voice to say she was angry, or that she was even speaking to a person that she could be angry with. Kabria was simply an Aes Sedai asking questions of her Warder.


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The sound of the door crashing open thundered in his head resulting in a wince.  Kabria wasted no time, the wince was all he had time for before her voice boomed as if she were screaming in his ear.  It was so loud that he thought his head might split like a melon.  He saw Kabria in the doorway looking as if she wanted to kill him.  In his current state he wished she would do it, he could not recall ever being this drunk or hungover.


In an instant his covers had been pulled off of him and he was deposited on the floor with a thud.  He was as graceful as a farmboy at a ball as he sprawled across the floor.  He groaned as his hand went to his head, he was unsure if his head was still whole.  On top of the pain in his head his stomach was still queasy.  He must have looked a mess on top of the obvious ill effects of the hangover for Kabria did not look pleased.


“You’ve caused me enough distress and embarrassment for one day. Get up and get dressed, we have things to do before we go.”


Perivar had no time to respond before Kabria turned and left him too himself.  He opened his mouth to say something then rushed to grab hold of the chamberpot before emptying the contents of his stomach.  When he was certain that his stomach had nothing left to offer, he stood and made his way to the wash basin.  Instead of splashing water on his face he submerged his head in the basin.  It felt refreshing, as refreshing as could be with the nausea and pounding in his head.  He scrubbed his teeth before putting on his clothes and going into the sitting room.


Perivar quickly sobered when he saw her.  Kabria was decked out in green silks with emeralds for jewels and dark green velvet slippers, she looked majestic.  In his current state he must have looked like a homeless bag of rags.  His clothes were all disheveled and his hair was dripping wet.  His face twisted in a grimace, he felt ashamed with his behavior.  He was about to apologize though that course of action never seemed to work for him when it came to Kabria.  A self-imposed penance then, though what it would be was a matter for later.


“I’m glad you decided to join me, please sit. I need to know if our supplies are at the ready and if you will be ready to leave first thing tomorrow?”  Her tone was fitting for idle conversation though her choice of words said he would pay for last night.  By her tone you would not believe that she just stormed in the room shouting at him and overturning the mattress with him in it.  Her words were a different matter altogether.  It put him more on edge which meant his head hurt worse then before.  He was angry that he thought of apologizing?  For what?  He could not control the thoughts that filled his head, he had a better chance of reaching toward the sky and touching the sun.  He simply spoke his mind, told her the truth and she threw it in his face.  Why was it so difficult to understand women?  He could live a thousand lifetimes and never understand them?  No matter what he did it always seemed that he put his foot wrong with her.  It seemed as though it was always his fault.  He would never understand it.


"Everything is in order."  He said through gritted teeth for fear that he would shout at her.  How dare she ask if he would be ready!  She knew better than that, evidence that her words were meant to cut.  Kabria was very good at that.  If not for the bond there were times when he would doubt her love for him. 


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Ashamed of her outburst Kabria clung hard to serenity, but her heart went out to him. He looked so pathetic with his hair wet and his eyes flashing, and he felt as if he’d like to wring her neck.  She fed all of that emotion into herself, and ran through her novice exercises.  “Good. I want to travel quickly. My missing sister deserves as much. I need a few more supplies from the city, and I’ll need you to carry.”


Standing, Kabria embraced the source and reached up to lay her fingers on Perivar’s head. He shivered as the healing touched him, and let out a long breath that was sour enough to make Kabria step away quickly and wrinkle her nose. “As soon as you are presentable we can be on our way. We’ll stop at an Inn for breakfast since I am sure you will be hungry.”  Regaining her seat she opened up the same dry book and waited for his return. She stared at the words and even occasionally turned a page, but her mind could not focus on what she was reading.  There had to be a way to fix things with Perivar, she was just unsure as to how. Being stiffly formal was all she could think to do to keep from breaking down.  Emotions and tensions had run high among them the last few days, and the last thing they needed was another outburst from her. Seeing him return from the tiny bedroom in the back she put away her book and grabbed her shawl from where it was folded on the back of her chair.

Even after all these months she still felt a thrill at having the Green fringe falling down her back. At times it almost seemed unreal. Especially in times like these when she would think to herself..”that a real Aes Sedai would have the answer.” The temporary thrill faded as Perivar took a measured pace behind her. It was proper for a Gaidin, but not typical for the two of them. Every face they passed in the Green Ajah Quarters seemed to mock them, and their petty fights. Kabria could almost hear Anita Sedai’s voice “That’s what happens when you try and love a weapon.” Picking up her pace she breathed a sigh of relief as they left the Tower proper and we out into the yards. Chances are no one but a select few knew of their fight, but even those few  made  her feel shame.

She stopped at the first Inn they came to. It was 4 stories of a smooth pale blue stone, as beautifully shaped as every other building in the city. The Innkeeper was accustom to Aes Sedai as guests and ushered them right away to a table in the back corner, a little apart from all the rest with a view of the entire room. “Thank you Ivene, two meals and mulled wine please” Perivar winced, and Kabria fought the urge to laugh. Apparently healing couldn’t take away the memories of the pain.


They sat in silence waiting for the food to be delivered, and only after the wine was brought did Kabria dare to speak. “You know that if there is something you want to say to me, you have the right. I have never expected complete obedience like some Aes Sedai. You are my lover and my friend, and of course my sword, though the last is the least of what I expect of you. If I thought it would make our love easier I would not ask it at all, but…being what I am I think it would always be that way. Unless of course you want to put on a dress and become a novice.Then once we are both Aes Sedai are lives may be easier.” It was a feeble joke, and perhaps at the wrong time, but she had to try something.


“Well, did you have something to say?”


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“Good. I want to travel quickly. My missing sister deserves as much."  The words assaulted him and he felt shame to his toenails.  All this arguing and child's play had made him lose the focus of their mission.  Somewhere an Aes Sedai was missing and all he could focus on were his own problems.  A harsh penance would have to be met.  If they found the missing sister he would have to beg forgiveness of her.  A woman, not just any woman, an Aes Sedai was missing in the Borderlands and he had not spared a thought for her.


Perivar was so focused on his shame that he did not realize Kabria had stood reaching for his head until he felt her touch and the cool tingle that ran through him.  The healing was not enough to move him though he did shiver and was forced to let out a long breath.  He noticed Kabria's reaction.  The healing took away the headache and the sour stomach but he still reeked of ale.  It seemed to ooze from his skin and eminate from his breath.


Perivar went back into the small room and dunked his head in the basin again however this time he toweled his hair dry.  He scrubbed his teeth again as if that would stop the smell of the ale from eminating from his breath.  Well he was as presentable as he was going to be.  He strapped his sword to his back and hung the singuata from his belt.  He returned to the sitting room then followed Kabria from their quarters.


Kabria's green fringed shawl added to her majestic look.  She glided through the halls like a queen with him on her heels glaring this way and that as if danger lurked within the Tower itself.  At times they would walk side by side, no doubt to any onlookers as to their relationship, but today he was a pace behind.  To those who knew them well it would seem out of place though he did not care.  They would probably think that he had been put down hard by her, some would think that proper and...well her temper was well known.  He had no idea what he looked like to others but he felt focused, several glares were directed his way.  Other sisters probably wondering how she could love him, he seemed carved from a stone and had a personality to match.  At least those who did not know him well would think it so, not much chance that he could properly care for or please a woman.  Not someone for a pleasant conversation or a ballroom dance.  Just a sword then they must have thought.  He felt like glaring or shouting at the spectators but that would be disrespectful beyond recompense.


Perivar followed her out of the Tower then through the yards into the city.  She stopped at an inn, 4 stories of a pale blue stone though it's beauty was lost on him today...focus.  He continued to follow Kabria as the innkeeper showed her to a table knowing they would want a view of the room.  He winced as Kabria placed their order including mulled wine.  He did not want anything to drink except for water.


Kabria's words washed over him.  He was not fool enough to attempt to put his thoughts into words.  He failed miserably at articulating his thoughts and feelings.  He usually just made matters worse.  He was not intelligent nor was he skilled with words.  That was his brother not him, probably another reason he had been sent to the Tower.  Fortunately for his family that his brother was older, he was the one who possessed the brains and the ability to handle his father's estates.  Perivar had suffered more blows from his tutors than he had in battle.  He was a horrible student except when the topic involved war or weapons.  Perivar did not possess the necessary skills to be sholarly.


Kabria expected him to be a sword last?  That was his primary function!  He was a passable lover he thought and a friend certainly but he was not much good for conversation.  Kabria could easily loose him in discussions on topics that did not touch on war or the Borderlands.  He attempted to become more worldly but it did not come easy.  Her joke was lost on him as he pondered her previous comments. 


“Well, did you have something to say?”  He had shoveled a few bits into his mouth while she spoke and was no longer hungry, hunger seemed distant.  Standing Perivar drained a mug of water then hastily wiped his face with the cloth napkin.  His tone was calm and his face lacked any emotion at all.  "Yes..."  His eyes locked on to hers.  His face was grim as death, he was focused.  "We should see to getting your supplies.  As you said, Your sister deserves expediency...that and our undivided attention to her search."  As the words trailed off he was already striding toward the innkeeper to settle the tab.  Once that was taken care of, he made his way to the door holding it for Kabria as she glided out into the street.  Once again he followed a pace behind as she led the way.



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The words cut like a knife. For a brief moment there had been hope that he would let loose his emotions and tell her how he truly felt, but as typical for him he melted into his role as Gaidin.. stiffly formal and always proper. Many Sister’s would kill to have a Gaidin so “well trained”, but it made Kabria sick. Gaidin were men, not dogs or weapons of death. Once again she thought about marrying him, maybe that would help to straighten out his mind, then again the few Green’s she’d spoken to who had taken a husband said it made it even harder to use him as a shield. Sighing Kabria stopped to thank the Innkeeper and slip him another silver mark. No doubt Perivar had tipped him well, he was very generous in those ways, but Kabria still felt more was needed. Few people were as fortunate as she had been, even a seemingly wealthy Innkeeper in Tar Valon.


Her shopping trip was short; at least as these things go. She picked up a few more books that had been set aside for her, three new dresses all cut in the style of Arafel. She added a new set of throwing knives to her collection, complete with tiny roses etched in gold. Lastly she stopped by the stables, ignoring the perplexed looks she got she set to bartering with man and ended up only handing over half the original price. The saddle was beautiful work, the stitching a perfect shade of Green, adding it to the large stack already in Perivar arms they headed back to the Tower. “The saddle will be for my Sister’s horse,  Chalinda (sweet girl) It’s the tall gray mare in the stable next to mine. She will be coming with us for if..for when we find her.”  Kabria left Perivar to prepare the rest of their things and took her dresses and books back up to the room. Filing the books in their proper place she paused a moment wondering how many more books she could fit before she would need another case.


Untying the linen that had protected her dresses she unfolded them and laid them on the bed. Tiny silver bells were sewn along the sleeves of all. Undoing her bundles she wrapped those up with her Kandori dresses, hoping Perivar would not notice the growth of her pack. He walked in just as she was retying the knot, and a light blush stained her cheeks. “I wanted to fit in, like a native Borderlander.” As if that explained everything she got up walked away. She could feel his confusion, and his hurt and she added a little more to the first when she paused for a moment at the door to his small, cramped room. It was a simple weave of air, tide off so it wouldn’t dissipate, but trying to open that door would be like trying to knock down brick with a feather. Pleased at her idea and feeling a bit smug she sent Perivar to find a novice to bring them dinner in their rooms.


He was going to speak with her, if it was the last thing he did. Close to half an hour later he returned and a quarter hour after that the young girl bustled in with the tray’s. She offered to stay and serve, as was proper, but Kabria sent her away, securing the same weave on the only exit out. She did not want to fight with Perivar, but they had to talk about this. There was no way she could stand the entire trip with him acting so formal, she also wasn’t sure their relationship could stand it. Not mentioning the weaves she let the meal pass in silence, and the after dinner tea. The only sound in the room was the quiet ticking of her mantle clock. With dinner over and dark already approaching Kabria got up and readied for bed without a word.


First came the sounds of the outer door trying to open, and the metal ‘thunk’ of his key turning uselessly in the hole. Then came a growl when he realized the same had been done to his rooms. As predicted his temper burst and he came barging into the bedchamber. Quickly Kabria put the same weave over that door, locking him in with her.

Sitting up in bed and letting the blankets fall to her waist she gave him a very level look. “It’s good to see that you can show some emotions, other than for duty.” Never mind the fact that she’d just called him down for those very emotions less than a day before. She loved his passion and his fire, and how when angry he would meet her blow for blow, even if it caused messes like this. “Since you have no other choice, talk to me Perivar. I know there are things you want to say.” She could feel his distraction at her thin silk robe, but also still the underlying anger and hurt. It was much the same as he would be feeling from her. Now was the time to talk, and it was going to happen whether he liked it or not.


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