A Long Awaited Visit to the Gardens (Attn: Raeyn)

[U4ea]

Loraine took a deep breath as she strolled through the corridors of the Tower. It was one of her few free afternoons and she meant to take advantage of it. Things inside looked the same, so she continued her walk outside to what she'd considered her garden since she'd found it as a Novice. She paused as she left the cool confines of the Tower and the afternoon sun kissed her cheeks. She hair was twisted up neatly, as it always was, but one strand had pulled loose and fell down her cheek. She brushed it out of the way and wished she was back in the Two Rivers with her sons. She allowed herself a sigh, wondering what trouble they were up to as she stepped into the guarden.

 

There she paused again, seeing the figure of someone in her space. She wrinkled her brow, trying to place the woman, but came up empty. She could only see her from the back, but the shoulder-length brown hair and nondescript dress could've been anyone. Smoothing out her face, she approached the woman, for even from this distance, she could tell this was no Novice. Did she feel territorial? No, not really. It was more that the quiet afternoon she'd had planned was being set aside for meeting someone new. Light, she prayed this was someone likeable and not another one who she did her best to avoid in the corridors. She cleared her throat as she drew closer, letting her lips twist into an open smile. "Hello?"

[Raeyn]

 

It was a lovely sunny day, and Lillith found herself in her <i>secret</i> garden.  It was a lovely little place on the Tower ground that she’d found as an Accepted, and had yet to see anyone but the occasional Tower gardener in.  In short, it was a place that suited the solitary White Sister.

 

Today, she was going over notes from her most recent meeting with Larindhra, the Mistress of Novices.  While Lillith was hesitant to call the relationship between herself and the Red Sister <i>’friendship'</i>, she valued her time with the older woman.  There was a degree of comfort she felt with Lari that she’d not felt with anyone before.  Of course, it helped the older woman let the young White Sister study her charges, and that they could share an enthusiasm on the matter.

 

<i>”Don’t dwell on that now, there’s work to be done,”</i> Lillith thought firmly to herself, taking a moment to swirl the nib of her pen in the pot of alcohol next to her on the bench.  A gentle breeze brushed her cheek, producing a momentary smile as she re-inked her pen and bent back over her lapdesk.  She was spending the afternoon transcribing her jotted notes from meetings with Lari and some of the Novices into a tidy progression.  It was a pet project of hers, tracking how the new children fit into place, and while she didn’t expect it to bring her fame or acclaim, it didn’t matter; it was something that interested her, and that was enough!

 

“Hello?” somebody suddenly called out, and Lillith grimaced at the dark line now dug into the page on her desk.  Looking up, she saw a short, fair-haired woman smiling down at where she sat.  Putting her desk to the side, Lillith replied, “Do I know you?”  Grimacing, she shook her head, “That was inane of me… I am called Lillith.. and you are?”

 

 

 

[U4ea]

Loraine watched the Aes Sedai set aside whatever she'd been working on and look up. The faint hint of irritation seemed to frame her eyes and Lor paused a moment. She'd apparently interrupted whatever the woman was working on. She started to feel bad about that, then caught herself. Even if she'd been gone a while, this was her garden!

 

“Do I know you?” The woman asked and Loraine felt her eyebrow arch. She really needed to back into the habit of controlling her expressions. Luckily, the Aes Sedai didn't seem to notice. “That was inane of me… I am called Lillith.. and you are?”

 

She took a deep breath, rearranging her face into a more welcoming smile. "Loraine," she answered, moving deeper into the garden, looking around and inhaling the sweet smell of the flowers she'd babied during her time here. She hadn't planted them, and her imagination had run wild at dreaming up stories of the Aes Sedai who had. The woman had died valiantly in Lor's imagination and the memory brought a smile to her lips. "I set these weaves while I was a Novice just learning how to weave them. There's such a wild variety of blooms here, it must've taken the Aes Sedai who planted them quite a long time to collect them. Some were being choked out by weeds that the gardeners had only been trimming around. I used to hide out here and pick the beds clean to avoid someone thinking my hands were idle and in need of more chores." She smiled and turned back to the woman on the bench. "I'm sorry if I've interuppted you. I just needed the peace I always find in this garden."

[Raeyn]

 

((OOC - Crap, sorry on the massive delay; my brain no been working that great lately >__<)

 

 

"Loraine," the other woman called over her shoulder as she moved deeper into the garden.  It was obvious to Lillith that even with her 'intrusive' presence, this was a place of great refuge and comfort for this other Sister.  <i>"Much as it is to me,"</i> she thought ruefully as she stood to see what was of such interest to the other woman.

 

The other Sister walked around talking to herself for a moment before turning back to the White standing by the bench, "I'm sorry if I've interrupted you," she spoke, "I just needed the peace I always find in this garden."

 

Dipping her head in acknowledgement, Lillith replied,  "This is something I can understand, for all I've only known of this garden since being raised to the shawl.  I.. I didn't wander much from my studies as an initiate, it didn't seem.. logical."  She permitted herself a small smile; this was a polite hint as to what her Ajah was, since she wasn't new enough to wander about flaunting her Shawl.

 

Picking up her lapdesk, she placed it on the ground at her side and patted the bench next to her, "I take it that you're recently returned to the Tower, then?  Perhaps I saw you around when I was new to the shawl, but like many at that time, I was too engrossed in my Ajah to even start to learn who there was outside of that grouping.. besides my teachers, that is."

 

 

 

[U4ea]

OOC: 's ok! :D I've only had small blocks of time to reply to RP's, lately. It's getting better, though! Thank GOD!

 

 

Loraine smiled and dipped her head in acknowledgement before easing onto the bench. A White? "Logic can be a good thing," she said, her smile not dropping. "I found that I am quite claustrophobic and closing myself indoors was dreadful. I endured it for the winter, as long as I could, anyway. Once the spring thaw came, the Aes Sedai were hard pressed to find me indoors. They could hardly call me idle if I was practicing weaves on harmless flowers, right?"

 

She looked around the garden again. "And yes, I've been gone a good long time. First the Blight, then chasing various leads around here and there..." She sighed. If Lillith could hint at her Ajah, so could Loraine. "My warder was completely content to be away from here. He feels useless cooped up in the Yards." She didn't mention that the sheer number of Aes Sedai he was around made him nervous, too. Having lived in the shadows of the White Cloaks as a child never really wore off him. "Have you ventured from Tar Valon much since doning the shawl?"

[Raeyn]

 

"Have I left Tar Valon?  No, I fear that I haven't; my studies since reaching the shawl have kept me most busy,"  she nodded politely, taking a second to make sure her lapdesk was secure and far enough to the side to not accidentally get kicked.  Satisfied, she turned her attention back to her impromptu company, "I wish I found more moments to spend outdoors, truly, but it's something I've only started to appreciate as I've aged.  Not that I find <i>that</i> many moments to enjoy out of doors, but in a way, that makes them all the more precious."

 

Letting her attention get momentarily distracted by a passing butterfly, she smiled slightly and continued, "As for having a Warder... I guess I cannot see the need as a Tower-bound Sister.  As you've expressed, I cannot see the Gaidin who are here at the Tower being truly happy with the situation.  If, perhaps, I am taken with a need to travel at a later date, I might investigate the possibility."  She laughed softly, peering for a moment at her hands folded in her lap, "It's not as if anyone is going to murder me in my bed here at the Tower, is it?"

 

A soft breeze wafted through, caressing the young White Sister's face as she took a moment to look around the garden again.  A sense of contentment filled her; while she wasn't exactly a gregarious individual, one-on-one interaction, on occasion, was such a pleasant thing, especially when there wasn't the feeling out she would normally associate with other Sisters in the Tower.  Turning back to the other Sister, she spoke again, "And yourself?  Do you prefer to be 'home' at the Tower, or out in the world?"

[U4ea]

Loraine nodded, knowing how hectic life in the Tower could be. It had taken her this long to return to her garden, after all!

 

"It's not as if anyone is going to murder me in my bed here at the Tower, is it?" Loraine bit her lip, knowing that the certainty she'd once have had about the very same thing had been shaken to the core since she'd returned. If this woman still felt comfortable in her own quarters, who was she to take that away? Luckily, she was saved from addressing it as Lillith continued. "And yourself?  Do you prefer to be 'home' at the Tower, or out in the world?"

 

Loraine turned her eyes to the flowers a moment before she answered. She'd never really thought of it, before. She hadn't considered the Tower her home for many years, but the question made her wonder if she'd ever really considered it her home. "I'm not sure," she had to answer, moving her eyes back to the Aes Sedai sitting next to her. "I've honestly never thought of it. I've never had a solitary place I could call home and stay long enough to get wanderlust. Something's always made me move before I got too comfortable." Loraine laughed a moment and shook her head. "I'd never considered myself nomadic, before. It's a strange realization. Do you feel the Tower is your home, Lillith? Aside from having spent so much time here, when you think of the word 'home,' are the quarters you were assigned here the image that springs to mind?" 

[Raeyn]

 

OOC:  Gah, didn't see you reply!  Thankfully, my muse is back!  *grins*

 

---

 

The young White Sister couldn’t help but note the older woman cringe slightly at her light-hearted comment about murder, <i>“Oh bloody and bloody ashes, do I even </i>want<i> to know what has happened before my time?!”</i> she groaned mentally, maintaining her outward composure before speaking again.  Lor paused before answering, as if in thought.

 

<i>”So then, probably a Green or a Blue,” </i> she thought to herself in satisfaction; it seemed often that the Sisters of those Ajahs were forever off on ‘adventures’.  Not that there was anything wrong with that; the world needed to see the Sisters and the strength of the White Tower, and the beneficial influence they had on the land at large.  Of course, the return question wasn’t that much of a surprise, considering, “Do you feel the Tower is your home, Lillith? Aside from having spent so much time here, when you think of the word 'home,' are the quarters you were assigned here the image that springs to mind?"

 

Nodding briefly, she stood for a moment.  Pacing before the bench, Lillith spoke slowly, “Considering that it’s all I’ve known for the vast majority of my life?  I would say the Tower, and Tar Valon itself, is very much home to me.”  She paused for a moment; her feet stopped their slow pacing before she continued, “And one cannot but live in the same quarters for half of their life without feeling as if they are a sanctuary of sorts.  I came to learn, and to serve; what higher calling is there, but to serve the people of the land how I may?  Granted, I don’t feel the call to go out to the villages and help feed the poor, as some of the Blues do, or the satisfaction a Yellow might receive from bringing someone back from the brink of death… but then, there really isn’t much call for someone explaining logical principles in those cases, is there?” 

 

Shaking her head, she smiled briefly, “I do apologize if I go on; I’m a solitary person by nature, and tend to ramble as my thoughts normally do when I speak to others.”  Sitting back down, she reached over and picked up her lapdesk.  Opening it, she pulled out a couple of sandwiches, and upon closing the lapdesk, placed them on top.  “I was actually planning on having some lunch out here, as you can see, but you’re welcome to join me to what I have with me.”

 

 

[U4ea]

OOC: Sorry! I meant to send you a PM or e-mail letting you know! *laughs and sighs* Based on the time stamp, I can only assume that I was being pressured to go to bed. LOL Sorry 'bout that!

 

 

IC:

Loraine smiled, watching the slight woman pacing. Was it frustration at her own answer or the need to move as her mind worked through the answer that set her in motion? She opened her mouth to answer Lillith's question, then had to smile again as the woman seemed to change in mid-motion. “I was actually planning on having some lunch out here, as you can see, but you’re welcome to join me to what I have with me.”

 

"That's very kind, but I stopped by the kitchen and had a light lunch before I came out here. Do you mind if I keep you company while you enjoy your lunch, though? I find it horribly refreshing to talk to someone who's not looking for every inflection of my voice to mean more than it does." She laughed softly, realizing she'd let her guard down around this woman somewhere around the second turn of her pacing. "As for rambling and logic," she shrugged and reached next to her, plucking a flower free and smiling. "I've found that true logic always starts with rambling. It usually ends with it, too. Kynwric used to think I was losing my grip on my sanity, the way I'd cover a room, muttering under my breath while we were working through a problem."

 

She grinned down at the flower. "I have yet to find the logic in a flower. I admit, being Green, my heart is not in logic, but in tactics and 'saving the world.' I haven't had much time since leaving here to appreciate the simple beauty in a flower. There must be other ways for the flower to get the benefits of the flower without going through so much to produce one..."

[Raeyn]

 

Nodding politely, Lillith responded, "That's more than fine, Loraine.  It's a lovely day to be outside." The Domani woman proceeded to sit down, and then started into her sandwich in a less-than-graceful, yet efficient manner.  While the other woman might have had her spot of lunch, breakfast seemed an Age ago, and the White Sister didn't feel overly worried that the taller woman was going to run off telling everyone that she had pigged out.

 

She couldn't help but smile as the other Sister began to speak on logic, <i>"For a Green, she seems to be a fairly grounded person... such a rare treat, it seems!"</i>  Unconsciously, she picked up the second sandwich and proceeded to devour that as Loraine picked up a flower, "<b>I have yet to find the logic in a flower. I admit, being Green, my heart is not in logic, but in tactics and 'saving the world.' I haven't had much time since leaving here to appreciate the simple beauty in a flower. There must be other ways for the flower to get the benefits of the flower without going through so much to produce one...</b>"

 

Laughing softly, she blinked in surprise to realize that both her sandwiches appeared to have disappeared into thin air.  Glaring at her stomach briefly, she shook her head and turned her attention to her companion, "Simple beauty sums up the logic of a flower in a nutshell."

 

Standing up and moving in front of Loraine, Lillith leaned down and picked up a bloom of her own.  Inhaling the light fragrance, she gestured off-handedly at the plant, "A flower exists to be attractive in order to draw the birds and insects forth to sample of its sweetness, and thereby spread its seed.  The more attractive the flowers of the plant to the birds and the bees, the more likely it is to prosper." 

 

Tucking the bloom gently behind her belt, she moved back to the bench and resumed her seat, "Of course, it's a bit... dry... to think of flowers as such.  Better to simply enjoy their beauty, better than to dwell on their reason for existing.  Light, I'm sometimes surprised that any of us can still find them enjoyable after years of Novice training!"  She chuckled softly then, idly fingering the bloom at her waist, "Not that it's the flower's fault for it being such a ready example for children first learning their talents."

 

 

[U4ea]

Loraine nodded, pretending not to notice Lillith's hunger and easily seeing the point in the dazzling blooms gathering attention. It worked for other beings, too, since it was rare a woman in this Tower could walk into these gardens without a least a look at the pretties of the lot.

 

She grinned at the mention of Novice exercises and waved her hand around the garden, her eyes twinkling. "Why do you think there's not a single rose to be had in this little patch of sunlight?" The fact that the red rose she'd first opened and preserved as a Novice was still in a vase in her quarters went unmentioned. She turned her eyes to other flowers, instead. "For the first few years after being raised, I was sent to a lot of different places. I learned different fighting methods and different temperaments. I even laid down a network of aquaintances, mostly those who owned inns and taverns, of course." She smiled, turning her eyes to the flower between her fingers. "My warder, Kynwric, never understood why there was always at least three books and a flower pot in my things when we left. He used to tease me mercilessly about whether I should've been a Brown with my love of reading. When he found out why I had a pot, he was convinced that I was completely mad and only picked the Green Ajah because it allowed me to keep my father's sword handy and well used."

 

She paused, remembering Kyn's last annoyed exclamation about her dragging a flower back from a particularly rough trip. Her eyes drifted towards the bright white lily in the corner and she sighed. The flower that had been blooming when she'd brought it back had been stained in blood when she planted it. She'd rescued the pack it was in from a dead Tower Guard who'd accompanied them. Going back could've ended badly, but that day, luck was on her side. She smiled, though it was tinged with a little sadness. "Do you know, Lillith, I think he might still have a bit of that opinion stuck in his head."

 

[Raeyn]

 

"You know," Lillith started slowly, "I actually didn't notice the lack of roses here.  Silly that, isn't it?"  She laughed softly, plucking the flower from her waist and twirling it before her face, "I guess for all the time out here, I've not really thought about what all <i>is</i> out here; I just enjoy the solitude and the sensations of being out in the open."

 

Dropping her hand with the flower back into her lap, she mused furiously for a moment, "<i>Why did she mention her Eyes and Ears to me?  Perhaps it was a slip...</i>"  What she said, however, "A book is a good companion on a long trip... if someone else can guard your back long enough to get into it."

 

Eying the flower again, she tapped her lip briefly, and continued, "As for madness... that which we cannot understand in others is ofttimes misinterpreted as 'madness'.  I know little of the Gaidin, not being bonded myself, but I can only guess that he is concerned for your well-being, and there's not really room in his mind for those sentimental things which he fears may harm you.  And I guess as being bonded to a Green probably gives a man all sorts of worries."  She smiled to express she didn't mean it as an insult, and spoke on, "After all, it takes a certain level of what some might see as madness to be willing and ready to stand for whatever may come, to fight that which is wrong and evil in the world.  I feel that I myself am not strong enough for such.. which is why I can both admire and be somewhat bemused by those of you that can do such things."

[U4ea]

Loraine sighed, sinking to sit on the grass by the flower bed. Since her skirts were green, she wasn't much worried about stains. The errant thought made her smile. "Kyn is many things and I'm afraid I don't quite know what I'd do without him. I'd have been dead long ago, to be sure." She hadn't thought of what her life would've been like without him. He'd simply stepped into her life when she was an Accepted and had been there ever since. It was a puzzling thought, though. Kyn had never been just a warder to her. She had the children to prove it, too. She sighed inwardly. Not that anyone here would ever learn about them. Or give an official nod to her relationship with her warder, either, for that matter. "As it is, I'm not sure whether my being Green has created more worries for him than me just being me has. He enjoys shaking his head at me, but he loads my books into my luggage for me without saying much. He even thinks I don't notice that he always packs an extra sword right on top of them."

 

She shook her head, turning her attention back to Lillith. "There are many ways to fight that which is wrong," she smiled. "Not all of them have to come on the tip of a sword. I believe that's why this Tower is still here, after all these years. We serve the same purpose the Aes Sedai of old served. We're more fractured, of course, more specialized. I think that's what makes us unique, though. I see no difference between a Green fighting a horde of trollocs and a White puzzling out the Dark One's next strike. We all serve a purpose, Lillith."

 

She pointed to a flower just on the other side of the bench Lillith was sitting in. "You see that flower? It was given to me by a shop owner in Arafel. Naturally, he has no idea I'm Aes Sedai, or I'd not have made it out of there with my head intact. He saw me fawning over it, though, and offered me one of the offshoots. It wasn't blooming when he gave it to me and... let's just say the ride into safer territory was less than a relaxing jaunt through the streets of Tar Valon. By the time I could get here to plant it, it was nearly dead. I used to have a friend who was Yellow, though, and when she saw me fretting over the poor thing, she showed me how to bring it back to life. The next year, it bloomed. Did you know that the Yellows have found four remedies to serious illnesses from that plant? No one in Tar Valon had ever seen the thing, but since it came here, we've helped ten villages along the coast cure ailments people were dying from." She looked back up at Lillith, a smile playing around her lips. "That plant isn't actively fighting the Dark One. The Yellows that found uses for it aren't either. The people in those villages may be, though. More importantly, every life that plant saves is a life that dances out of the Dark One's clutches. Every breath you take, every moment you spend trying to make life better for someone... they're all little battles with the Dark One. In the end, the fate of the world may rest on the backs of those little battles."

 

Philosophy was hardly her forte, but she got the strange feeling that Lillith was feeling a little useless...

[Raeyn]

 

Blinking in surprise, Lillith refrained from biting her lip, <i>”Is she… attempting to comfort me?  I… I don’t know what to think..” </i>  It didn’t surprise her, not really; although she was fairly sure at this point that Loraine wasn’t trying to condescend, but rather be… sisterly?… sisterly, perhaps.  <i>”It’s quite possible she has, in her past, thought that perhaps the other Ajahs served lesser purposes, and having learned otherwise over the years through interactions has made her somewhat more magnanimous that perhaps she had been as a younger Sister.  Still, how to respond to such…”</i>

 

She nodded slowly, the White Sister did, and she gave the impression of carefully picking out her words as she replied to the Green Sister comfortably seated in the grass beside her, “For all you’ve hinted at such this afternoon, I guess I have a bit… dense.  I didn’t quite realize that you were the main force behind the shape this garden had taken before I found it.”

 

Lillith stood up then and stretched her arms above her head.  Sighing slightly in contentment, she peered at the flower that Loraine had been explaining the history of, “As for battles of various sorts… well, it’s much like they told us when we were Novices and Accepted, isn’t it?  While we might not all be out there physically fighting the forces of the Dark One, we are all doing our parts.  I myself have been assisting Larindhra to some degree… or better to say, she’s politely tolerating a research project that I wanted to do.”  She smiled, and gestured to her lapdesk tucked under the bench, “I’ve been sitting in with the Mistress of Novices as she interviews the incoming Novices and annotating their behaviors and attitudes.  I intend to interview them further into their training, as well as talking with their teachers to understand the behavioral patterns of the children as they proceed through training.  It might not be the most fascinating material, but I believe that understanding behavioral patterns is very useful for various purposes.  After all, a battle cannot be fought and won without appropriate knowledge in several facets.”  She chuckled ruefully, and sat back down on the bench, “Light, but I sound like a Brown at times myself; I’m pretty sure that Raeyn and the other Brown Sitters thought I’d be joining with them for many years.”

 

 

 

[U4ea]

Loraine grinned, watching the thoughts move through Lillith's expressions. She was good at hiding most of them, but Loraine was far too old to miss them all. Grandfather would be so pleased, she thought. He'd forced her to be good at this. The least he could've done was be glad she was so successful at it. "So, you're studying the Novices and Accepted all the way to the shawl? That must be terribly interesting, with all the different nations that have found their way through these doors. The history alone..." she paused and her lips twitched. "No one ever thought I'd be anything but what I am when I was a Novice. The Blues might have seen this crystal," she flicked the small sphere of jade hanging between her eyebrows. "... and thought I'd go Blue. I'm afraid I had far too much anger for the Blues, though."

 

She shook her head. "How long have you been watching them? I'm sure it's quite interesting to see how the preconceived notions of what they are and how they are to proceed begin to mesh with the reality of what it means to be a Servant of All..."

[Raeyn]

 

Lillith frowned slightly at the anger comment; it, to her, seemed to be a normal part of the frustration of thinking that you were a free person, only to realize that you were well and truly a child.  "<i>But,</i>" she reasoned to herself, <i>"No need to point that out.  After all, every person wants to think that their emotions are unique and personal, not commonplace and standard..."</i>

 

She brightened up when the subject turned to her studies, however, "I've only been on this particular task a few months now, mind you, but it's already showing some fascinating results."  Leaning over, she tapped her lapdesk and continued, "Yes, cultural differences in the girls' backgrounds do have some effect on how they integrate.  After all, they grew up knowing that certain behaviors were acceptable in their country, or in their village, or whatever."  Lillith's voice raised in pitch, and became more rushed as she continued, "Which, as we've seen in our own time as Novices, vary vastly from country to country.  However, we've also seen how the training received moderates some of those extreme behaviors... at least through the training period."  She laughed briefly, "Of course, some of those behaviors reemerge once they are raised to the shawl, but there's nothing that can be done about that.  As long as they are able to understand the basic medium of decorum required for life in the Tower, it's considered a satisfactory enough result."

 

Leaning back over, she picked up her desk this time and plopped it back on the bench next to her.  Opening it, she rifled through, picked up a folder, and waved it briefly, "But as said - there is a middle ground of behavior and attitude that those children in training conform to if they wish to make it through training.  As you know, there are very rigorous standards to which the children have to conform to, and this sort of research is both complimentary and supplemental to the Mistress of Novice's own work.  This wasn't the original intention of this work, but has been a pleasant surprise, as well as Larindhra's willingness to let me 'edge in' on her domain...." <i>"And, of course, the surprise of... friendship?  Something...</i>".

 

She shook her head, and put the folder back down in her desk, "Anyways, I could go on at length, but in short - it's just an interesting little study of behavioral patterns based on the somewhat drastic lifestyle change that the children have to make coming here.  I don't know exactly what real use it will be at this point, but I felt compelled to observe it."

[U4ea]

Loraine smiled, watching Lillith's expression shine through her explanations of her study. She's very animated when she's found her element, she thought to herself. She nodded as Lillith spoke, remembering pieces of her time in training and how difficult they'd been because of cultural difficulties. It was true, her best friend had been a fellow Cairhienin. She wondered idly if the lack of those differences could've played a part in that.

 

"I wonder what those patterns would show if you traced them all the way to the shawl..." she wrinkled her brow. "It makes sense that a certain personality would cause a woman to choose one Ajah over another. I'd be curious to see how these interactions with other cultures change the path a child would take as they progressed through their training. I know most of the girls I was raised around seemed to bring a past with them that played a large part in the Ajah they chose once they were here. I know I did..."

[Raeyn]

 

Lillith smiled and nodded, "I wouldn't be surprised if your hypothesis rang true, Loraine.  Of course, there <i>are</i> obvious exceptions to the rules; I myself would be considered one."  Her smile took on a wry twist, "Discounting the fact that all Domani women are supposed to be able to twist men around their fingers, I happened to be raised in a library.  So I guess I'm most unrepentantly gone against the supposed grain twice-over."

 

Shaking her head, she chuckled softly, "Still, a person's background would invariably have an effect on where they ended up upon reaching the shawl, <i><b>if</b></i> they made it to the shawl in the first place.  Of course, there are those that claim that with great strength in the One Power comes great strength of will, yet doesn't it seem oxymoronic when applied to those who are weakest and are barely able to attain the shawl.  To me, those who know that they are barely eligible would be the strongest, in having to work so hard knowing that the slightest failing would see them going back to a life of... well, whatever they were doing before the Tower."  The White Sister shrugged, "But then, that's not an opinion I would speak too freely either; things as they are in the Tower at current would probably find little favor with such a statement."

[U4ea]

Loraine paused, trying to imagine returning to Cairhien and her grandfather's attempts at stealing the crown. A shudder passed up her spine and she turned her attentions elsewhere. "I would agree that the weakest among us have a difficult path to follow. It is, perhaps, not that great strength in the One Power leads to a great strength of will. Perhaps it is that with great strength in one, a great strength in the other is expected, if not forced into existance." It was something to consider, she supposed. Not that she'd dealt with that much beyond training new Greens in their duties. "Is that something you're tracking in your study, as well? How the weaker ones among us fare through their training and whether they attain their goals or not..."

 

In a flash, she recalled the shock on the faces of some Aes Sedai, even during her training after she'd been raised. She was strong in the One Power, had rarely ever needed the aid of an angreal. Even the most complex weaves had been natural. All save her ability to Heal, that was. How would she have made it if she hadn't been so strong? It was a strange thought and one she'd mull over later, when she had time. "Perhaps if we knew these things, we could lower the number of girls burning themselves out." Increasing the numbers within the Tower seemed to be pressing on everyone's mind these days. Fewer Novices, even fewer Accepted, and a hideously low number of Aes Sedai made her fear the Last Battle's imminent arrival. How could they stand against a foe so great with such limited numbers?

[Raeyn]

 

Sighing slightly, Lillith repeated a benison she held close to her heart, “<i>The Tower has survived and will continue to survive.</i>  While I’m not foolish enough to think that we shall survive by virtue of being us, I do believe that if people are willing to remember our purpose as Servants of All and do our work as best we may, we shall continue to endure, no matter the hardship.”

 

Tucking her notes back in her lapdesk, she spoke musingly, “As for the children burning themselves out… we all do our best to make sure they don’t leap ahead of what they are able to do, but I don’t think we can scare them nearly well enough to keep them from running headlong into the abyss.  Of course, it doesn’t help that burning out isn’t nearly as fearsome a thing as it used to be…”

 

She trailed off, cocking her head.  The sound of bells drifted into the garden, signifying the time.  Closing her desk, she scooped it into her arms and stood, smiling apologetically, “I do hate to rush off on this, but one of the Sitters wanted to discuss something with me at this time.  It has been lovely talking with you and sharing the garden, and perhaps we can do it some other time.  For now, enjoy… and perhaps I shall see you sometime again.”

 

With that, she nodded and started strolling briskly back to the Tower.

 

[U4ea]

Loraine smiled, watching the woman's back disappear into the sheltering shadows of the Tower again. She closed her eyes and listened to the bells tolling, inhaling and letting the warmth of the sun bathe her face. If it was odd for a Green to have just spent quite a bit of her afternoon talking to a younger White, so be it. Perhaps they'd kick her out of the Tower and she could collect more flowers.

 

She laughed, looking around at the beds teaming with flowers. "Perhaps Lilith could help me find a place for a new one..." Her lips quirked and she sighed. She hoped she ran across Lilith again someday. The state of the Tower seemed to demand that Sisters stretch beyond Ajah lines. She eyed the flower standing before her. That day would come soon, she was sure. She even looked forward to it...