Watch your step (Kabria)

[Talavin]

Arath was trying his hand at drawing. Ever since he had been to the Infermary and told that if he wanted to keep his health up he had to not train so hard every day, Arath found himself very bored. Apparently the Mistress of Trainees had gotten a... less than pleasent letter from the Yellow that had treated him and Thera had forced him to take a full day of rest every week. He had been distraught, not having any idea of what to do during this time. Eventually, he remembered how he had enjoyed drawing when Master Jesse had given them the Flame and Void lesson.

 

So, here he was, just outside the walls of the stables. It was a spot that he found purely by luck- looking for a shady spot, Arath managed to find this semi secluded area with a nice patch of grass. Next to the grass was a patch of dirt that was perfect for drawing in, so Arath grabbed a stick and got going. The first thing on his mind, Arath was attempting to draw Jasine trying to kiss the Mistress and getting beaten over the head for it. He snickered at the mental image, easily enough seeing it coming to life.

 

So absorbed in his drawing, he didn't notice the girl coming, her face burried in a book, until she tripped over him. He felt something fall over him, and saw a book land on his drawing, completely ruining it. Arath was about to shout out in anger before he saw that it was a woman who tripped over him- and an Accepted at that. A man he could have delt with, but the only women that he would deal with were Thera and Melenis- they weren't foolish like the rest of their gender. Melenis think very strange things like most girls did. However, this girl was obviously not Thera or Melenis, so Arath was at a loss of what to do.

 

"I'm sorry, Accepted, I didn't see you coming," Arath murmered shyly. He picked up her book, and tried to brush off the dirt on it, before giving it back to her.

[Eqwina]

As was her tradition every day Kabria gathered her book, a story of the Borderlands today, and headed out into the yards. As much as she didn’t want to admit it she was hoping for another glance at Jasine. Not that she was interested in him, but it wouldn’t hurt for just one more look. At least that is what she told herself.

 

Two laps around the yard had bore no fruit and she was growing bored. Opening her book and finding where she’d left her make she began to read as she walked. Every few steps she glanced up to make sure she wasn’t going to run into the wrong end of a sword, but other than that she was intent on her book. She had sat by the same tree, in the same part of the yards for the last five years; she could have found it blindfolded. So, when she was passed all the boys and their silly sticks she ceased to watch where she was going. Lord Pelvit was just leading a campaign of lancers into the Blight….

 

Kabria’s toe kicked something hard and she landed on her knees and watched in horror as her new book landed in the dirt. Vainly she tried to grab for it, but instead found a fist full of hair. A small scream emitted from her lips and she fell back, landing hard on her back side. She had managed to trip over a boy!

 

Her face contorted into a glare and she snatched the book from his hands. “You ruined my book you goat kissing idiot” She scanned the pages and tried to straighten the ones that had crumpled and brush off the dust. Nothing could put Kabria in full fig like someone harming one of her books “Listen here…whoever you are..this is my spot. Mine and Jasi….Mine okay, and I want to be alone. So take your stick and your little dirt drawing and go else where.” Pushing herself to her feet she dusted off her dress the best she could before stepping over the boy and plopping down a few feet away in front of her tree. Her hands were shaking slightly and her stomach was in knots, but she was proud of how calm she’d seemed. Only the small twitch to her knees showed how nervous she really was. Light! She was going to have to find another spot to read! This one was becoming overgrown with men!

 

[Talavin]

Arath scowled. "Well, you fool, maybe if you had been watching where you were going instead of sticking your nose in that book then you wouldn't have tripped over me!" Arath huffed. He had even been kind enough to appologise and fix her book the best he could. She didn't have to go and insult him like that. He had just been sitting there, minding his own buisness when she attacked him! In fact, he should go and tell Mistress Thera about how this nosy Accepted came up and kicked him!

 

"And your spot? I don't see your name on it anywhere?" Arath huffed, forgetting that this was a member of the White Tower and instead seeing her as another trainee- female trainee but still a trainee. "At least I appologised, you ruined my drawing- that I worked very hard on by the way- and all you have to say are insults. In fact, I'm not going to leave here until you say "I'm sorry."" Arath harumphed and folded his arms.

 

"What's so great about that stupid book anyway?" Arath could read, but not very well. He had never seen the point in reading- it just took time away from other more important things- like training. "What could be in there that's possibly interesting enough to make you forget to look at the ground?"

[Eqwina]

Kabria’s eyes opened wider with every word. No one had ever yelled at her before, most avoided her or ran as soon as she spoke, except Jasine and now this boy. Why in the Light had she been sent two boys in the last week to try to patience and stoke her fear? Was this some sign that the Green Ajah was not for her?

 

She looked down and realized that her hands and finished the work of destroying her books. The pages that were not crumpled were torn and dirt was ground into every page. With a shriek she threw the book at the boy and was surprised when it bounced of his head. She’d never throw anything in her life, but a fishing line, and never with such force. “Whatever you say this spot is more mine than yours! From the look of you, you probably just came from the farm last week you hay-haired loobie!” She put in hands in her lap, like she always did when she was nervous, but her eyes continued to shoot daggers. “ I will never apologize to you, not if you’re the last man on earth and ANOTHER thing it is none of your business what my book used to be about.”

 

True to his word the boy sat and stared at her. His angry reflected in her eyes and hers was in his. For a full minute they both stared at each other before Kabria’s face flushed and she lowered her eyes. “If you are going to sit here and stare at me you could at least introduce yourself. After all you did ruin my book!” She smoothed her skirts and tried not to look at the destructon she’d done herself. Several more minutes passed in silence and with each one Kabria grew more uncomfortable. “Listen I didn’t mean to ruin your drawing, but who in their right mind draws in the dirt. There is an invention called paper and a pen. Perhaps you should try those and they would not ruin so easily. “

[Talavin]

Arath stood stunned as the book collided with his head. He put his hand to his skull to make sure there weren't any bumps... but then again if there were maybe he could go back and see Eqwina Sedai... Light! This was the second time in ten minutes that the insane girl had assaulted him bodily! He was fuming in his mind when she spoke again, insulting him by calling him some country bumpkin.

 

"What! I'll have you know that I've been in the yards for a year and a half! And I've never been in a farm before!" Arath scowled; how could this spot be more hers than his? After all, she hardly owned it, the Tower owned this land. Never appologise to him? Well she would make a nasty Aes' Sedai then, if her pride was too strong for her to admit that she was wrong. And it was none of his buisness what it was about? He was just trying to be nice and inquire what her useless waste of paper was about, but nooooo! She had to insult him again!

 

Arath scowled, figuring that he could at least introduce himself. "I'm Arath Talavin... a trainee here at the Yards." Pausing before thinking how to answer her next question, he continued. "I... I don't like using a pen." Truth was he didn't know how to hold it the right way, for he never learned how to write. "And besides! The Yards are for learning how to fight not to draw so they wouldn't let me use paper for drawing." Arath was glad he could think of another reason other than just that he didn't like the pen.

 

"Why are you reading anyway? Aren't Accepted supposed to be learning how to use the One Power so that they can become Aes' Sedai... or teaching Novice... or helping... or something?"

[Eqwina]

If he could do her the courtesy of naming himself she could do the same. “My name is Kabria Delondre, I have been in the Tower almost 6 years.” Now that was a foolish thing to say! She flushed and out came the viperous tongue. “ I have finished my studies for the day, in fact I have almost finished them completely. The Mistress of Novices says I am soon to be raised; Which means I know enough of the Power to tie you in knots if you don’t leave me alone!”

 

Looking down again at her book she sighed. It was now just a waste of paper and ink. Another thought occurred to her.. “I thought Warders were supposed to well versed as well as handy with a sword. I can’t see even Mistress Thera forbidding you paper.” Her sharp mind tried to see post what he was hiding, but she could find no hole. “Plus from what I saw, your drawing was quite good. You really should use pen and ink.”

 

Realizing that she had been speaking normally to Arath she narrowed her eyes to a glare. “Maybe then they wouldn’t be wiped away every time someone stumbles or it rains.”

[Talavin]

Really? She didn't think that Mistress Thera would refuse to let him have paper and ink? Arath didn't even think it was a possibility, but after all, this girl had been in the tower for more than three times as long as he had. And it made sense, when he thought about it- that Warders were supposed to be well versed in all sorts of things. Before he would have said that he wasn't worthy of being a Warder, but after Eqwina Sedai had told him everything that she had told him... Arath almost forgot his current conversation thinking about her.

 

Arath perked up when Kabria complimented his drawing. Had she really thought that it was good? She wasn't a full Aes' Sedai like Eqwina was, so she could lie if she wanted to, but Arath couldn't think of a reason why she would want to lie to him. Arath knew that Kabria was back to glaring at him, but he didn't mind- after all, she had complimented him. "Hey, you're right- it was really stupid of me to get worked up about the drawing. It was going to get ruined anyway."

 

Arath sighed. "Really, I'm not very good at using a pen... I don't write very much," Arath admitted. "Really, I would be training except I got sick and went to the Infermary." Arath fought back a smile thinking about Eqwina Sedai. "And anyway, it turns out that I was overworking myself... So now I have to take breaks or else Mistress Thera will get mad at me, so I decided to draw. I figure that it would be foolish to waste parchment on silly drawings, that I should practice in the dirt and at least get good before I moved onto parchment."

 

Arath realized that he had been talking for a long time and looked toward Kabria. "So, I'm rea;;y sorry for ruining your book, it was probably worth more than a silly drawing anyway. I'll find money somewhere to pay for it... but first why don't you tell me why you like reading so much?" Arath asked curiously.

[Eqwina]

Kabria stood up and walked over to where the drawing had been. She bent down and studied what was left in the hard clay. Over the years Kabria had seem many drawings in her books and from what she could tell, Arath was quite good. Turning her head she tried to make sense of what she saw. She could see the legs of a woman and a younger man who was almost familiar. Looking up she gave Arath a small smile and shared her thoughts.

 

“I have paper and ink you can have, if you promise me that you’ll use them. I can even show you how to write. I have a very steady hand. Have you ever tried to write on the deck of a ship?” Turning her head back to the drawing she traced her fingers along the lines.

 

"So, I'm really sorry for ruining your book, it was probably worth more than a silly drawing anyway. I'll find money somewhere to pay for it... but first why don't you tell me why you like reading so much?"

 

She turned her head and stared at Arath, really stared. He had nothing of the beauty that Jasine flaunted, but he was..handsome in his own way. Just thinking about a man in that way caused her cheeks to flush, but she beat down her anger with a firm hand. “I..I didn’t grow up around the shore bound even though I am Kandori and Illianer, and I want to know all I can about where I came from and the world I am so unfamiliar with. The book..it was about the Borderlands, where my grandparents were from.”

 

Now twice in a short time she had managed to tell a secret of her life to a stranger. Perhaps opening up was not as hard as she’d once thought. “If you are serious about the book,  I know where I can get another. You owe me that much.” It was hard to not be angry or not to blush, but the desire to be angry was slowly fading. If only the nerves would join it.

 

[Talavin]

"Really! You'd really do that for me?" Arath grinned, happy that Kabria was being so nice. "I'd love to learn how to write, and no, I've never even seen the ocean... other than the one around Tar Valon, of course." Arath smiled, it wasn't particularly charming or cute, but it was genuine. No one had ever really offered him anything before- other than the training that he was given. But it had been far over a year, and his initial joy at being given training was wearing off, and he was starting to take advantage of the fact that it would be there.

 

Arath felt really guilty after hearing about why reading was so important to the Accepted. If Arath had never known his homeland then he would want to read all about it too- well... he didn't particularly like Caemlyn... But he had ruined a book that connected her to her heritage- and then insulted it. Arath pailed a little when she took him up on his offer to pay for the book, but resolved to find the money somehow...

 

"I grew up knowing my family... but I wasn't really fond of my hometown. I've always been really normal- regular hair, regular eyes, regular skin... everything about me was just really normal. As a boy, I had always dreamed about becoming a great warrior- because everyone else had something to make them special and I didn't have anything. So I wanted to be something great and show them all how amazing I was. Thing is- Andorans are a tall people- and I'm... not. If you didn't know that I was from Caemlyn you would think that I was a Cairhein I'm so short!

 

"Anyway, I was always trying to become some great warrior, but everyone would always be beating me down. I grew up... really poor. Maybe if I were rich than things would be different, but I was just that poor boy who didn't know when to quit. Everyone who had a problem would take it out on me, I was useless! But I never gave up on my dream, I kept trying and trying- I would show them all! One day I finally went to the Palace and asked to be trained as a Palace Gaurd. They laughed in my face. I was so humiliated; I had always had hope that I could end up being a great warrior regardless of my size, but they proved me wrong.

 

"I... sulked... for a while, until I found another option: The Warders. I travelled a long way to Tar Valon, hope the only thing fuling me. I knew that it was my last chance at fufilling my dreams and if they didn't accept me I would be crushed! All I had for so long were my dreams- I didn't have any other skills to speak of. I didn't think I could go on if I was turned away from the Yards... but I wasn't turned away. I've trained for so long and now I'm unspeakably stronger. I... I hate the person that I used to be... I was so weak... I feel like I've come so far in my time here, and that I'll forever be so greatful to the Tower and the Yards for making me who I am today."

 

Arath had never told anyone as much as he had told Kabria- not even Jasine. For over a year it had been eating at him and eating at him, forcing him to train ruthlessly. He knew that he absolutely hated who he had been before, and he liked who he had become. Suprisingly, it felt really good to get it all off of his chest. He felt like a giant burden that had been weighing him down for so long was finally lifted.

[Eqwina]

Feeling her belt pouch Kabria fingered the coins that nestled there. If Arath did not have enough money she should at least be able to replace the torn manuscript. “It is alright if you don’t have the money now. You can still come with me to get it and pay me when you can.”

 

She still felt awkward and unsure, but she stood up and copied a move she’d seen Jasine use. She extended her hand and used it to pull Arath to his feet. When he started to tell her his story she almost sat back down where she’d stood. In her life no one had confided in her, no one have ever trusted her enough to share their secrets.

 

Perhaps it was the stories she’d read of Brigitte and Gaidal Cain or it could have been the courage she’d gained from the beautiful Jasine, whatever it was she leaned in and kissed Arath squarely on the lips. It was her first kiss and she was almost sure it was his. When she could speak again all she could do was thank him.

 

“No one has ever trusted me enough to speak to me that way. You see…where you are plain I am…” He was honest with her and so she would do the same. With her cheeks painted with crimson she continued. “ As I am sure you have seen I am not normal, I have even been called a freak. Where you desire to be different I long for normalcy. All I can say is I know you pain and…I had never had a friend before, but I would like to call you one.” She looked up at him through her lashes and flushed a deeper red. “Come on you wool brained lummox! This is not a question to dally over!”

[Talavin]

Arath smiled when Kabria said that he didn't have to pay that moment. That was good, because he definately needed some time to get the money... He was about to respond and thank her when she grabbed him and kissed him squarely on the lips. Light! Arath had never been kissed before! Ever! The fact that she took his first kiss from him just like that was unsettling, but at the same time he was overjoyed that she saw so much in him.

 

Arath was so shocked that he nearly forgot that what she asked was a question. Laughing when he realized that Kabria had taken his first kiss and hadn't even realized what she had done, Arath responded. "I would love to be your friend, Kabria! That would be really great! The thing is... well... friends don't normally kiss eachother... that's a different kind of... relationship. Not that people who kiss can't be friends... it's just that... you can have a lot of friends, but it's different when you kiss someone..." Arath was a bit flustered trying to explain this particular subject to Kabria- after all, he wasn't exactly an experert.

 

"But yeah... I would definately love to be your friend." Arath grinned, he really didn't have that many friends. He had Jasine, and then there was Melenis, who he was friendly with, but he wouldn't exactly call them friends. He was on good terms with Perivar, but likewise wouldn't the other boy a genuine friend. "So, what do you want to do after becoming an Aes' Sedai?" Arath asked suddenly, trying to find out more about his newest friend.

[Eqwina]

Kabria stared into Arath’s eyes still recovering from her shock. It was hard to believe that her first kiss was over..there would never be another. But then..there would be a second. It was even more embarrassing to have someone explain why it wasn’t right to kiss and some of her famous anger began to bubble up.

 

“Of course I know that friends don’t kiss! Just because I spent my life on a Sea Folk ship does not mean I don’t know what a friend is!!” Turning away she kicked the rest of his drawing and stared down at his hands. “ I know that friends don’t kiss!” Her voice was indignant and sulky. “But maybe I just felt like kissing you! And maybe well…” She turned back and looked into his eyes. “Maybe I want to kiss you again”

 

It was worse than ridicules to yell at someone that you wanted to kiss them again, but it was the truth. He might not have gorgeous eyes like Jasine, but he was sweet and honest and kind and….as scared as she was. Somehow with him scared it made it easier for her to brave. A long time ago Shenesta had said to her while they were in the bath. “Oh light sweetie I am scared every day, but it is easier for me to be brave because I know that there are people who need me.” To a 13 year old girl it sounded like gibberish, but now it made sense.

 

"What do I want to do after becomming Aes Sedai.." she started to cover her shame.   "I want to travel and see the world I read about."

[Talavin]

Arath was shocked as Kabria got up in a fit about how she knew what she was doing and that she wanted to do it again! Oh Kabria... Arath's newest friend had lived a hard life, a life so similar to his own and yet so different... But... Arath couldn't help where his heart laid... and it lay with another woman. He loved Eqwina, at least he thought he did. He didn't want to hurt Kabria, he didn't want to hurt her like that, and so he couldn't lead her on, he couldn't give her the kiss that she so desired.

 

Desperate to keep their budding friendship, Arath made a decision that would wind up hurting his friend more than the other actions ever could. Seeing that she moved on to a different subject, Arath grasped hold of that. He would just pretend... pretend like he was ignorant, like he was completely unaware of her feelings. No matter how obvious she got, unless she came right out and said it, he wouldn't tell her that he didn't like her like that. He would be her friend- and a good friend at that- and be ignorant.

 

It was the perfect plan in Arath's mind, he would get a new friend, and Kabria would get a friend... eventually she would move on... maybe he should introduce her to Jasine. It would do Jasine good to get his mind off of Thera as well. Arath didn't want to hurt Kabria and this was the only way to do it. Unfortunately, Arath was a novice in the ways of love, and he didn't realize how powerful and obsessive love could be. He didn't realize that the pain of trying so hard for his affections and getting nothing out of it would be overwhelming for his friend... He didn't know, and in his ignorance, made a huge mistake.

 

"Travel the world! That would be amazing! I'm sure that there are so many exciting things out there, like all of the things you hear about in stories! Maybe you could even see a trollic, although I doubt that you would want to see one of those! I've heard that there are different types of Aes' Sedai, that do different things. What kind of Aes' Sedai do you want to be?"

[Eqwina]

Her mouth was hanging open and her eyes rimmed with tears, another heart ache, another disappointment. Why was the light trying her in this way? Pressing her palms to her eyes she turned away again and tried to gain back what she’d lost. Her tears dried up slowly and her bitterness grew ten fold with it. She rounded on Arath and pushed a finger in his chest. “First Jasine and now you!!! Why is it that you men think you can just walk all over me! I am not a door mat! What kind of Aes Sedai do I want to be? I want to be the kind that can ring your neck!”

 

For emphasis she picked up her book and slammed it hard into his chest. “Your going to pay for that book and you’ll do it now! Or will tell your Mistress of Trainee’s that you cornered me and tried to have your way.” With the torn book, a dirty dress, and tear stained cheeks it would not be far from believable. The desire to lash out at the power burn within her, but with the fury in her blood she couldn’t reach the source. Fights were settled quickly on a ship so you had to make your hits count. Balling up her hand she raised her fist and put all her weight into the punch. It hit Arath squarely in the jaw and made him stumble back a step. In her time on the ships she had been shown something of hand to hand combat and Kabria had always been a quick study. Reading to defend she back off a few steps watching him warily.

 

“So Arath who is she? Who is it that has captured your heart? Does she have your tongue as well?! Speak!” Why she felt as if she had any right to be angry she didn’t know. It was not as if Arath had kissed her! Or even acted as if he might have cared. This was all her own doing and she knew it. The shame of it cut her to the bone.

“I don’t care who she is, I will find out and mark my words Arath I will make you forget about her!” The years of romance novels was going to Kabria’s but she didn’t care. Once in her life she was going to live one of her stories. Grabbing Arath by the arm she drug him towards the Tower gate. “We are going to get my new book now! I want to finish it tonight. It had a particularly interesting section on the art of putting someone to the question.” Oh yes her fury was back full force, but now it had a purpose.

 

[Talavin]

Arath was shocked, and confused, and scared. Nothing was working out the way it was supposed to! She was supposed to buy his act! She was supposed to be happy, not angry, not sad! And what did Jasine have to do with anything anyway? How did she even know Jasine? And why did she want to wring his neck? Light! Women made absolutely no sense! Arath was just trying to help her, to make her happy! If he told her that he loved someone else then she would just be hurt, how could he hurt her like that? He was too confused and shocked to be really worried about her threats. The only thing that worried him was the fact that he could definately not pay for the book.

 

Arath was shocked even further when she punched him in the jaw. Light! Weren't women not supposed to hit? He could understand if she was acting like a normal person, like Thera and Melenis did, but she was no warrior. Confused and shocked (and a bit hurt) Arath put his hand up to his face gingerly, only to have it yanked away and grabbed by the very girl who was so confusing. Light! Buy the book now? He didn't have any money now. Arath wanted to explain that to her, but he was too afraid of getting yelled at- especially now that they were in public.

 

They made an interesting sight, the tear-stained Accepted with a dirty dress dragging the shell-shocked trainee out to the town. It was a miracle (more like a curse for Arath) that no one stopped them to inquire just what they were doing. Arath was dragged across town, until finally they got to a small book shop. After the long journey (it might not have actually been as torturously long as it seemed) Arath still couldn't think of anything to say. They had just gotten inside the book store when Arath stopped, turning Kabria around and holding her shoulders so that she wouldn't turn away.

 

Looking into her eyes so that she could see that he was genuine, Arath spoke: "I'm sorry." He tried to convey through his eyes what words couldn't. He tried to tell her that he was sorry for everything, for trying to decieve her and for hurting her. He tried to tell her that he still wanted to be her friend, that the possibility for friendship meant a lot to him, and that he was willing to do whatever penance she wanted to give him in order to see that friendship blossom. All Arath could do now was hope that he had done the right thing, as he gently let go of Kabria so she could do what she willed.

[Eqwina]

Kabria paused just inside the door, taking a moment to just to let it all sink in. She was acting like a fool in front of a guy she barely knew and why? Just because she hadn’t been able to scare him away? Was she such a twit that she was going to fall for every guy that paid her any mind?

 

She couldn’t even muster anger when Arath grabbed her by the shoulders. All she could do was stare, her cheeks still flushed, this time from embarrassment. “You are forgiven Arath, I am wrong and you were right. No please I just want to replace my book.”

 

She pulled away from him and went back to the section of the store that she’d been just the other day. Scanning the shelves she did not see another copy of the book that had been lost. Once again unbidden tears fell from her eyes. Blindly Kabria reached out and grabbed a book from the shelf holding it close to her chest. Books were her only friend; they had never hurt her or made her hurt herself. From now on she would only trust the words on the pages.

 

Master Ander gave Kabria his usual smile, as well he should with as much money as she’d spent over the years. Wisely he made no comment on the state of her dress of her appearance. She walked out of the store in silence clinging to the book as if it was her saving grace. She didn’t want to speak or even look at another person again. The shame was all too real.

 

To the Pit of Doom with anyone who thought is strange that a Green didn't want anything to do with men!!

 

[Talavin]

Arath felt relieved when Kabria told him that he was forgiven- he didn't want her to feel any more pain than she already did. Arath's relief lasted right until Kabria stormed out of the shop, with tears in her eyes. Light! What had happened? Arath knew better than to ask, though, for the girl always managed to turn it around and make it all his fault. Trotting to keep up with her, Arath tried to say something, only to open his mouth and realize that he couldn't think of anything to say. He wanted desperately to dry her tears, and soothe the pain that he was sure he had caused... somehow.

 

Arath tried to study her book, to see if that could give him any hints about what to say, but the pace they were walking, the way she was clutching the book, and the fact that he couldn't read excellently made it impossible to decipher. As they reached a more secluded part of the Yards, Arath grabbed Kabria again by the shoulders. "Listen... Kabria... I know that I hurt you and I am really sorry. But... if you still want to... I'd like to be friends with you."

 

Arath could see by the way that she was so furious with him that she would never want to actually be with him romantically. Arath was relieved that he didn't have to deal with that drama, but at the same time he didn't want to loose a friend over such a stupid reason. Arath desperately tried to think of something that he could give her as a gift. Spotting a field of wildflowers a bit off, Arath quickly grabbed one and put it in Kabria's hair, above her ear. Not knowing where the words were coming from, Arath spoke blindly. "See, tears don't fit a pretty picture like you! How about this? If you accept me as your friend, I'll help you beat off all of your suitors?" Arath tried to look charming, and hoped that he wasn't failing misrably.

[Eqwina]

It was a small comfort that Arath did not just walk away. Her poisonous tongue had scared away so many, that it was nice to know that a few had thicker skin. Still she didn’t know what else to say. Kabria could not admit that she’d been a fool anymore than she could admit that she still cared.

 

It was a relief to back inside the Tower walls, here more than any place other, she felt safe. She was still clutching the book to her chest when Arath grabbed her again. Her icy blue eyes stared at him without expression as his eyes begged her to understand. She did understand, somewhat…

 

“ I..I need more friends so I will accept your offer, but maybe instead of beating of my suitors you could help me learn how to talk to them….Without throwing books?” Even she had to laugh at her small jest, but only a little. The pain was still to new, but one thing Kabria understood from her books was that you had to know how to forgiven AND forget. “ I still owe you that paper and pen. Come back to my rooms and I will find it for you. I’ll tell you what, you can pay for my book with your beautiful drawings.”

 

It was not a long walk to her rooms, but it was uncomfortable. It was all very well to say that things were fine, but it was obvious that they both knew it was not.

 

Tossing her new book on the bed she went over and began to dig through her wardrobe. She had several writing kits hidden away; each one had been gift from some boy hoping to catch her eye. They had assumed because she loved to read that she harbored the same love for writing.

 

Finally she found the one she’d been looking for. It was one she had bought for herself. The small wooden case had no carving or ornament, but the hinges were good brass and the ink pot was thick glass. A stack of milky white paper lay inside with a gold plated pen. With a small smile on her face she handed it to Arath. “This should help you to get started, maybe you could even write a letter to your lady love” A sharp pain darted at her heart, but Kabria firmly pushed it away. It was not her place to care what Arath did, after all he was only a friend. "I will teach you how to write and you can help me to not be...be so afraid of men."

[Talavin]

Arath couldn't hold back a grin when he heard Kabria not only accept his offer but make a jest as well. That had to be a sign that she didn't have a crush on him anymore and that she wanted to be just his friend. He was even more shocked that she offered to accept payment in the form of drawings. She even called them beautiful. Arath swore right then and there that the drawings he gave her would be the best drawings in the world. It wasn't until after his new oath that he realized she had even offered him paper and pen. Arath decided that he would always draw her beautiful drawings- even more than he owed her for her book.

 

The walk back to Kabria's rooms was awkward and silent, but Arath knew that they were on the way to having a wonderful friendship. Arath couldn't hold back a gasp when he saw how beautiful the writing pad was. It was more expensive than anything he had ever owned, but what meant the most was that she gave him something that was so precious. The fact that she was offering to teach him how to write meant more to him than the paper did (although he was very greatful for the paper).

 

"I- I don't know what to say! Thank you so much! Of course I'll do my best to teach you not to be afraid of men. You've given me more today than I can ever repay... not just the paper, but also your faith in my drawings... I can't really repay you because I don't have anything other than pictures I can give you... But I can promise that I'll become as strong as possible so that I can defend you and the White Tower!" Arath grinned. It wasn't the charming, boyish grin that Jasine wore constantly, but it was a very genuine smile, full of gratitude and loyalty.

[Eqwina]

Kabria studied Arath’s face openly when he smiled. He did not make her heart flutter with a look or make her stammer with his smile, but he was…real. The light in his eyes was so open and so honest that she wanted to weep. To many people Arath would be normal, but to her he was the man that turned her world on its head. Oh, her stomach still rolled and her face still flushed, but the desire to cut him down had vanished. Maybe with his help she could learn to face fear without anger.

 

When he made the offer to defend her life and the Tower’s Kabria brightened. She had always pictured herself bonded to a prince that was handsome and strong, but Arath….he was so different from what she had dreamed of and yet the idea of a bond with him delighted her. “Would you like to learn to write? We could practice now.”

Digging back into her wardrobe she pulled out another lap desk. It was gaudy and covered with too much gilt, but it was serviceable. She offered Arath her only chair and took a seat on the bed crossing her legs. She reached in the desk and pulled out a single sheet of paper, the crystal ink well, and the silver pen. "Come on Arath. You said we are friends, there is no need to be embarassed in front of a friend."

 

As if mocking what she'd just said her cheeks flushed. After all speaking to a man without anger was still very new. While she was instructing him on how to hold the pen she casually asked about Jasine. "Do you know Jasine? He is taller than you and I and is always smiling." Arath nodded. "Is he...single?"She never even considered that asking Arath about another man was wrong. Kabria was new to friendship and did not fully understand the rules.

[Talavin]

Would he like to learn how to write? Certainly! he had his pen ready and posed, although he didn't know that he was holding it wrong. Arath blinked at her next words- he didn't realize that he was supposed to be starting. Arath didn't know the first thing about writing- he knew his letters well enough, but he didn't know how to form them. Arath was startled when Kabria asked about Jasine, but at the same time relieved. Obviously she had to have gotten over him if she was talking to him about Jasine. Although how she actually knew Jasine was a mystery.

 

"Jasine? Yeah, he's my best friend," Arath exclaimed. "As for if he's single... well he's not exactly with anyone, but... he has a crush on the Mistress of Trainees," Arath admitted. "But don't tell anyone, because he'll get in a lot of trouble if people find out."

 

Arath looked down at his pen. "Well... I can read, and I know my letters, but I don't know how to use the pen... I never really had to learn. Am I even holding it the right way." As Kabria corrected his handling of the pen, Arath continued. "So, what sort of things do you learn in the Tower? I mean, Aes' Sedai know so much, I can't imagine all of the work you have to do as a Novice and Accepted!"

[Eqwina]

Having a crush on the Mistress of Trainee’s!! Kabria laughed and had to wipe away tears from her eyes. Loving that woman had to be about like trying to love a Trolloc. “Isn’t she old enough to be his mother?” Her delicate nose wrinkled in disgust. “He and I met a few days ago, he helped me carry my books back to my room.” Her cheeks flushed again. “He had the most beautiful smile. I would love to see him again. Maybe…maybe you could help me with that?” She glanced at him from over the top of her lap desk and laughed at his mouth hanging open. “I can’t help it that I can’t stop thinking about him now can I?”

 

On the sheet of paper in front of her she had written the alphabet in a very precise hand. She patted the bed next to her. “Come on over here and I will show you how to write them.” She scooted over to give Arath more room on the hard bed, not much more comfortable than the chair had been. She corrected his form with the pen and even laid her hand on his to correct the motion. It felt strange to be so familiar with a man, but it was also nice. Her stomach only fluttered once and it was quickly suppressed.

 

“We learn all sorts of things. As a novice we focus on how to control the power and a lot of history. Now I get to choose my own studies. I am learning the Old Tongue and studying with the Greens and the Whites. You are right..it is a lot of information to learn, but the faster you learn the faster you progress.” She glanced at Arath from the corner of her eye. “I am getting close to choosing an Ajah you know?” She looked at him as if trying to gauge his reaction. “I am thinking about the Green Ajah, do you think that…Jasine would want to be bonded to a Green?” She had been about to ask if he could see himself bonded to a Green Sister, but she had lost her nerve at the last moment.

 

“No no, when you make the S it is more of a sweeping motion.”

 

[Talavin]

Arath was shocked that Kabria had a crush on Jasine, but at the same time, not very suprised. Jasine was just the kind of boy that all girls had a crush on. The kitchen girls were hopelessly entranced with him, and even the Novices and Accepted had a thing for him. On the other end, it would do Jasine good to have a crush on Kabria- his crush on the Mistress would bring him only trouble! Arath sat down on the bed next to Kabria, ignoring the strange butterfly feeling in his stomach as she corrected his hand with her own. It was quickly ignored, though, and forgotten completely.

 

Facinated, Arath listened to Kabria describe her skills. Arath didn't know a single word of Old Tongue, and he barely even knew that there was a language that existed before his own! Green Ajah? We're the Greens supposed to be flirtatious and fickle? Not that he would actually ask that question- for fear of turning her firey hot temper on him again. "Hmmm... would Jasine like to be bonded to a Green?" Personally, Arath thought it was far too soon to be comcidering that question, but all women are strange... well most women, and perhaps Kabria wanted to do some daydreaming.

 

"I don't know. I couldn't see him bonded to a Grey, he's far too active to sit around while his Sister discusses politics. I suppose that removes Brown and White as well... maybe he could be bonded to a Yellow, but I've always seen him as the type of Warder in stories. You know, the kind riding a tall horse and saving the day? So I guess I could definately see him bonded to a Green, but that's a ways off." Arath pondered the likelyhood of him actually becoming a Green Warder... he supposed it was possible.

 

"Why are you thinking of becoming a Green?" Arath asked, it wasn't a condecending question, just a curious one. "Like, there are seven Ajahs, how come you don't want to do be a different Ajah?" Arath asked, trying to learn more about his new friend.

[Eqwina]

Kabria leaped at the chance to discuss her Ajah choice, with so many of the Accepted afraid of her she never had the opportunity to discuss the idea with anyone but herself. “The Green Ajah was not always my first choice. It wasn’t until I began studying them that I could see how important their purpose was. The Red Ajah was never for me. I am afraid of men I do not hate them. Believe it or not I do not enjoying arguing and with my temper I could never be a Gray. I have very little facility for healing which means the Yellows do not want me. I like to read as you know, but a life of reading and researching is not for me; I have done that longer enough already which counts out the Brown. I am not logical enough for the White and that leaves only Blue and Green. The idea of the Blue Ajah appeals to me, but when I think about a life there…it feels..wrong?” She looked at Arath to see if he was going to laugh at her.

 

“I have always known I wanted to travel the world and see the Blight; and I believe that there is no more important fight than the one against the Shadow. The ideals and everything they believe fits perfectly with me…all except the men.” She put her lap desk aside and turned to face Arath, her eyes intense. “ I do not know what has happened to me recently. I used to be content with my books and my studies, but I find myself wanting more. Then fate brings me Jasine and then you and I throw out everything I have ever been and fall head over heels.” Kabria sighed and brushed her red tipped golden hair from her eyes. “ That is not me, but at the same time it feels right to have a man in my life. Is that strange? I don’t want to be a brainless twit about it, but I know that someday I would like to have someone to share my passion for the Light with. Is that a childhood fantasy?”

 

In six years in the Tower the speech she made to Arath was the longest she’d ever contrived.

 

[Talavin]

Arath listened to Kabria's reasoning, facinated by her words. Arath admired how sure she was that she was right, that she was doing the right thing. Arath didn't laugh when she told him why she didn't want to become a member of the Blue Ajah because in an odd sort of way it made sense. Arath had been taught to trust his instincts, and it would be dumb for Kabria to spend her entire life trapped in one Ajah that felt wrong. Arath listened to the next part of her speach, and stopped briefly to consider his answer.

 

"The truth is that I don't know, Kabria. I'm not exactly an expert on life... especially love. Although... I'd imagine that it's natural for people to want to find someone that compliments them. I mean, most people take it for granted that they are going to grow up, get married, and even have children. It's not the minority that ends up with someone, most people have a husband or wife, or even a lover. Everyone grows up wanting to spend the rest of their life with someone." Arath thought of Eqwina, he thought of all the struggles he would have to go through to be worth of her.

 

"Maybe it's a childish fantasy to think that it'll be easy. Maybe it's a childish fantasy to think that there's no effort involved, that it'll just be easy and you'll just fall in love just like that." Arath snapped his fingers for emphasis. "But... I don't think that it's childish to want to be with someone... because everyone dreams of love. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's just my opinion."

 

Now that Arath had answered his question, he felt the need to continue. "You know, I admire you- for your resolve. You speak so selflessly: saying that the Shadow needs to be defeated and that you're willing to stand up to the challenge... I can to the Yards out of selfishness. I always dreamed of becoming the best warrior in the world. I didn't care about helping people, or doing good, I just wanted to be the best, and that was why I came to the Yards. Now... now I know that I want to become a warrior so that I can defend Aes' Sedai... I want to be able to help the Aes' Sedai help the world." Arath nodded at his reasoning. "I guess... I guess I feel more complete now. I had always been so concerned with my life, and my wants that I had never concidered the needs of everyone else.

 

"I think that now I'm better off, because I'm going to do something with my life that actually matters. I mean, before- sure I could have become the greatest warrior in the world, and gotten everyone in the world to acknowledge me, but it would have been worthless. Now that I have a noble goal, I feel like my life means something... even if I never become the strongest or the fastest."