Duty calls and a sullen Kabria answers (Kabria's Arches)

[Eqwina]

Kabria Delondre’s Arches

 

At 25 Kabria still knew little of the shore bound; though she had spent almost 6 years in their midst. Since her roots were deep in the soil Kabria had read every book and manuscript she could find and yet she knew little of use. Yes, she knew the running’s of the courts of Tear, and the proper techniques when dealing with a Tinker, but their thought processes were what remained shrouded in mystery. It was a mystery she dearly hoped to one day solve.

 

Kabria hardly remembered life before her mother..NO!  The woman did not deserve such a title; before Katarina had abandoned her to her fate.

There were vague memories of a man’s smiling face, and a large room filled to bursting with toys, but any time she dwelled too long on those thoughts they faded away like mist in the sun.

 

During her 6 years in the Tower Kabria had yet to make a single friend And where most young women her age were interested in men and the singular search for a warder Kabria cared only for knowledge. As the other girls spent hours combing the yards she spent them in much a different way. She would sit alone in the grove, leaned back against a tree and read until the light failed. Many Brown sisters were already chomping at the bit to add another to their numbers, but that was not Kabria’s path. Though she was at peace when she read it was far from a task she enjoyed. What kept her glued to the pages was her quest to understand the world she lived in.

 

On occasion while she was “alone” in the grove a young man, so taken with her unusual beauty that he ignored her glares would wander by and try to engage her in conversation.

Each time, Kabria covered her gut retching fear with cold burning anger. She always uttered the same response.

“I have no interest in hearing yet again that my eyes light the sky or that my mysterious ways are enchanting. Nothing you could say interests me in the least.” By the time most men recovered from their shock Kabria was out of sight and she hoped, very soon out of mind.

 

She did not hate men like the Reds, but every time one came near her stomach tied itself in knots and fear sharpened her tongue. Kabria supposed that some day she would conquer her fear..but today was not that day.

 

Kabria gathered her cloak and as she prepared to throw it over her shoulders a knock sounded at the door. No one ever came to her rooms, not even by mistake..unless? She hastily tossed her cloak aside and opened the door.

 

The Mistress of Novices eyes stared back at her; her stare serious and unblinking. By writ Kabria dropped to a curtsy and waited until she was motioned to stand before rising.

“G’Day Aes Sedai, what can I do for you?” She kept her eyes downcast and tried to appear meek. She feared if she looked up she would once again be called down for glaring at an Aes Sedai. Many people took her stare to mean something it did not. It seemed not matter how hard she tried to be one of the flock, her fists or her eyes always seemed to cause her issue.

 

Before the Mistress of Novices even spoke Kabria knew her fate. With in minutes Kabria was making her way silently down the stone steps. Her mind raced trying to process what was about to happen. She had a vague picture in her head of what was to come; what she did know did nothing to put her mind at ease.

 

As the descended into the Towers depths Kabria silently wished for thicker slippers to help protect from the cold. Odd what thoughts crossed your mind in times of distress…

 

Two large iron strapped doors stood open at the end of the hall. A faint flickering light beckoned to her. Three arches stood centered all on a great ring. The glow of Saidar emanating from the sisters seemed bright after the darkened hallways and Kabria blinked trying to adjust. A warm hand rested on her shoulder and Kabria forced her eyes to the Sisters’.

 

The Mistress of Novices gave Kabria a warm smile, but her words were leaden with seriousness.

"What I tell you now, no woman hears until she is in this room. The first is this. Once you begin, you must go on. Refuse, and no matter your strength, no matter your courage, you will be put out of the Tower and you will never be allowed back. The second is this. To seek, to strive, is to know danger. Some women have entered and never come out. When the ter'angreal went quiet, they – were – not – there. And they were never seen again. If you will survive, you must be steadfast. Falter, fail, and….” Kabria nodded as she tried to picture the fate of that poor woman. "This is your last chance. Refuse now, and it counts as the first mark. You may still try twice more. If you accept now, there is no turning back. It's no shame to refuse; many sisters could not do it their first time."

 

To refuse would be weak, but to stay would mean never turning back. It really was no choice, Kabria had no desire to spend her life as a tavern maid.

 

“I am ready” she spoke softly and was surprised that her voice did not shake.

 

Never taking her eyes from the arches, the future, Kabria undressed.

Despite the cold, perspiration beaded on her skin; her eyes traveled from the Mistress of Novices to the arches and back again. Suddenly, with the rest of her life looming before her Kabria could not breathe. She felt as if the air had turned to jelly.

 

"Whom do you bring with you, Sister?" The words rang like bells in her ears and Kabria had to strain to keep her hands at her waist.

 

"One who comes as a candidate for Acceptance, Sister." The Mistress of Novices' voice sounded calm.

 

"Is she ready?" If there had been a mirror placed in front of Kabria she would have seen herself standing ridged, her hands shaking lightly with fear and eyes opened like that of a surprised deer. Was she ready? She did not feel ready.

"She is ready to leave behind what she was, and, passing through her fears, gain Acceptance."

 

"Does she know her fears?" Light! She had so many fears, and one was growing worse with each minute the ceremony drew on.

 

"She has never faced them, but now is willing." Willing? She was a collage of emotion’s but she did not think even one of them was willing. It was duty that made her continue on.

 

"Then let her face what she fears." The words sounded like a death sentence.

 

There was no turning back, as she stepped towards the arches her feet dragged with reluctance.

 

"The first time is for what was." The words were spoken quietly, but they emanated throughout the chamber. ”The way back will come but once. Be steadfast."

 

A light brighter than any Kabria had ever seen filled her vision and she was consumed in heat and fire.

 

….Be Steadfast…” Kabria pressed a tattooed hand to her forehead and tried desperately to recall what she had been about to do. The deck around her was a whirlwind of activity and the familiar smell of salt filled her nostrils. Without thought her knees relaxed to gently ride the waves. Glancing down, her feet were bare and she wore short pants and a loose blouse that would not hinder movement in any way. You had to be ready to move on the decks of a ship. Shenesta was in her place at the helm, like always her watchful eye catching every mistake and misstep. “Kabria back to work or get off my deck! Idle hands make for accidents.” Her voice held no more anger than it would have for any deck hand; in fact it held quite a deal less.

 

Leaping to obey Kabria grabbed onto the rigging and began to climb. The feel of the wind in her hair made her smile; It was always so when she was assigned the work up high. As she reached for the next line her head spun and a voice boomed. Be Steadfast… Shaking the clouds from her head she resumed her climb until another jolt sent her flying. Only quick hands kept her from falling the 50 feet and ending with a broken neck. Her hands burned and she could feel every hurt as the rope cut into her hands. Still dangling by her arms Kabria looked down to see what had caused her fall.

 

A scream bubbled from her lips and she threw a leg and an elbow over the rope sliding down quickly not caring if her leg was torn to shreds. The deck below Kabria was in ciaos; shouts were ringing from every side; the ship was under attack. Pirates often roamed these waters, but few ever dared challenge a raker. Even as the cannon fire landed all around her she had eyes for only one thing. Shene’s limp body, broken and bleeding laid sprawled out hanging from the higher deck. Picking her way carefully across the splintered ruins of the ship Kabria struggled to reach her. She did not know what she could do to help, but somehow she knew that if she could reach Shenesta everything would be alright.

 

A silvery light sparkled just on the edge of her vision and Kabria froze. Across the ship, as far from Shene as it could be, was an archway. Panic-stricken she wrung her hands, the memories of why she was here flooding back. Duty to her mother or duty to her future...with the wail of a dying child she flung herself at the arch. Her body tumbled end over end before landing on cold stone with a thud.

 

Her eyes were filled with tears and every inch of her felt as if she’d been beaten. Burns from the rope stood out clearly on her hands and Kabria squeezed her eyes shut trying to will away the pain.

 

Freezing water pebbled her naked skin and made her splutter as she looked up into the stern face of an Aes Sedai.

 

“You are washed clean of what sin you may have done and of those done against you. You are washed clean of what crime you may have committed, and of those committed against you. You come to us washed clean and pure, in heart and soul.” Pure? How could anyone be pure after leaving her mother to die at the hands of pirates? Kabria’s eyes flashed from hatred to pain as she stared the Mistress of Novices in the face. For once not caring if it brought retribution. But the solid woman only shook her head and guided Kabria gently to the next arch.

 

Her words were quiet, but firm. “The second arch is for what is. The way will come but once. Be steadfast.”

 

Kabria’s bruised feet drug as she was guided to stand before the next arch and the desire to turn and run burned hot with in her. Under her breath she cursed the shore bound and most of all the Aes Sedai, but when she closed her eyes Shenesta face floated in front of her eyes. The woman had been a rock ;strong enough to weather any storm and for her Kabria would be the same. With a straight back and her head held high she walked through the next arch.

 

Her banded hem swished as Kabria glided through the halls, with something just short of an Aes Sedai’s grace.

…”Be Steadfast..”

Kabria shook her curls and glared at the young novice who failed to curtsy as she rushed by. Since when did she care how a novice curtsied?

An Aes Sedai sweeping through the halls with purpose grabbed Kabria’s arms a trifle roughly. Through gritted teeth she made her courtesies. “What may I do for you Aes Sedai?” In short order a scowling Kabria was shuffled out into the main steps to help deal with the influx of people seeking Aes Sedai help.

 

“G’day Mistress what may the White Tower due to serve?’ she said by rote in bored tones; not even looking at the woman huddled in front of her. She did notice when the woman grasped at her hands and began to weep. “Please ma’am control yourself!” Then Kabria heard the musical quality to the woman’s sobs and she froze, finally truly seeing who huddled before her. Flinging her hands to release the woman she wiped them off on her skirts in disgust. “Katarina?” The haggard woman looked up at her through lank curls. “That’s right you retched woman!” Kabria spat. “Your daughter survived! No thanks to you!”

Her rage did nothing to hamper the musical quality in her own voice, that she’d inherited from the filth in front of her.

 

Blue eyes stared up at her own, pleading, begging her to understand. “Kabria, my lovely girl” Katarina’s hands trembled as she reached out to brush a hand across Kabria’s tattoo. “You don’t understand sweetie, I left you…so that I could make us a family. To beg your father to come with us…” Her shaking fingers tried to brush Kabria’s cheek but she pulled away violently. “He is here…in Tar Valon. Sick….dying Kabria. That is why I am here, he needs help.”

Silence settled around the pair and Kabria closed her eyes trying to recall an image of his face. All that came was a vague impression of a smile. “papa” she murmured. Opening her eyes she stared at her mother. “He is here, really here?” Hope filled her voice. When her mother nodded Kabria sprang into action sending a small novice running to find a yellow sister.

 

Turning back to her mother Kabria saw the silvery arch just beyond her head. “No! Not now! Not until I see him!!!” Katarina looked at her daughter in confusion as tears poured from her eyes. …….

 

“Too the Pit of Doom with all of you!! He was my father! I had a right.” She spat staring at every Sister in the dark chamber. “I hate you! I hate you all!!!”

The cold water was emptied over her head causing her last words to be lost in splutters.

 

“You are washed clean of false ambition. You come to us washed clean, in heart and soul.”

Flinging the water from her hair Kabria fixed the Mistress of Novices with a stare that would have frozen her blood,.. had she been anyone but who she was. “Tell me now! Is it going to happen? Will I ever get the chance?” The Mistress of Novices only shook her head gently and took Kabria by the shoulders. “No one knows if what happens on the other side of the arch is real. Me I prefer to think it is not. Put it out of your head. One more and it is all over.” Placing Kabria in front of the third arch she said those fate less words.

 

“The third time is for what will be. Be Steadfast for the way back will come but once.”

 

Oh how she hated them all Squaring her shoulders for the last time Kabria stepped through the arch and into that blinding light.

Right away she knew the dock to be the one of that in Ebou Dar. Glancing down at her dress she was surprised to see it was of Domani cut and more surprising was the great serpent ring. On her forefinger, she was an Aes Sedai?

“….Be Steadfast..” The harsh winds whipped at her cloak threatening to rip it off her back.  Clasping it tighter she started down the docks towards a large man in a color shifting cloak. Surely he could tell her what was going on. He turned to meet her with a slight bow. “I have secured us a boat Kabria, they will be ready to take us just as soon as they can remove the extra cargo.”

“Very good Brandien” Kabria blinked in surprise at knowing his name, but it rolled off her lips as if she had said it a thousand times before. A concerned look painted his face and he reached out to her. ”Are you okay Kabria? You have seemed distant today. Perhaps we should wait until tomorrow..” She brushed off his hand and strode the rest of the way down the docks. “We are doing this now Brandien. I have waited long enough.” The man was smart enough to know when his protests would do no good and he fell in behind her without another word.

As promised in short order the tiny vessel was cleared and Kabria was snug in the cabin with Brandien, her eyes staring off towards the ship as if they could see through the wooden walls. Reaching a hand up to touch her temples Kabria frowned. Somehow her life before this moment was covered in a haze; she couldn’t remember anything clearly before being on the docks…

With a thump that almost sent them from their seats the boat lurched to a stop. The steady footfalls of men thudded on the deck as they anchored the small boat. Gathering her cloak Kabria wrapped it around herself, pulling the hood up high to hide her ageless features. “Remember what I told you, say it just as we discussed and there should be no issue.” With the lack of riding gloves to cover her hands Kabria had to be careful how she moved so as not to expose anything too soon.

 

From the depth of her cowl she could not see Brandien’s face, but she heard his strong voice call out. “We ask the gift of passage if this do still be Shenesta din Nightwinds vessel” A long silence followed before Kabria was guided to a familiar rope ladder. She climbed with hands that remembered as if it had been yesterday, not 20 years gone. Everything was as she remembered and her face split with an unseen smile. It was home…

The urge to kick off her slippers and run barefoot across the wood gnawed at her, but she only stood with her head down and her hands folded meekly. With her eyes down cast she heard the steady footfalls long before she could see the feet of two Sea Folk women. It was Shenestsa voice that rang out strong.. I do not know how you learned my name Aes Sedai, but you are refused the gift of passage.” Taking a deep breath Kabria released her hands and slowly lowered her hood.

 

No recognition dawned in the older woman’s eyes the only thing that showed was rage, barely suppressed. “I can see by your eyes that you do not know me, but I assure you wavemistress I am more than simply Aes Sedai.” In a single motion her cloak fell to the deck revealing a dress scantly cut that highlighted every curve of her body and showed every tattoo. Each one a dedication to a life she had left behind, but not forgotten. Slowly Kabria turned in a circle to reveal the most telling mark of all.

She did not know what she had expected of this day, but not the reaction that was given. All the air fled from her lungs and she hit the rail catching herself just in time to keep from toppling to the freezing water below. A muffled sound of anger came from Brandien and Kabria did not have to see the flows of air binding him head to foot to know they were in place. “Why Shenesta? Why?” Her anger boiled but she did not dare embrace the source lest she cause a war with the Sea Folk. Just behind Shenesta a silvery arch appeared, but determined to find her answer Kabria stood her ground. “Why would you choose to treat your daughter in this way? I love you like a mother I always have!” The steady light began to flicker and Kabria’s eyes darted from Shenesta and back. Lunging she grabbed Shenestsa by the collar and yelled trying to make her understand. Again the arch flickered and a sense of urgency filled Kabria. With a guttural growl she grabbed Shenesta tighter and flung them both at the arch.

 

Consciousness faded in the blinding light and every fiber that was Kabria felt as if it were ripped to shreds. Not even the pain of landing hard against the tiles could compare with what she had just felt. She lay huddled in a ball on the floor her hands still clenched around tight into fists. No tears fell from her eyes, the only thing to say she was crying were the sobs that racked her body. Suddenly aware of the crowd Kabria pulled herself to her knees and then her feet. She walked unsteadily to kneel before the Amyrlin and accept her due.

 

“You are washed clean Kabria Delondre of Illian. You are washed clean of all ties that bind you to the world. You come to us washed clean in heart and soul. You are Kabria Delondre Accepted of the White Tower.” A new set of sobs racked her as she realized that the words that were spoken could not have been more true. She was an orphan with no family and no life except for the one that was being provided to her by the woman before her. She was no longer Kabria Delondre surrogate daughter of a Wavemistress…she was just Kabria.

 

“You are sealed to us, now. Welcome Daughter” Mechanically she held up her hand and let the woman slip the ring on to her finger. The small gold circle felt as if it carried the weight of the world. “Welcome”

For a moment Kabria stared at the retreating forms of the Amyrlin Seat and the other Sisters; studying what she was to become. She was now one step closer to her future and another mile away from her past. Shivering she slipped back into her dress and followed them back up into the main halls of the Tower.