Over the edge (attn: Con and Brandeis)

[Arette]

The mountains cast a formidable shadow over a pass. It edged a long drop into a fast streaming river in the bottom of the cleft. A small party of thirteen, an unlucky number, moved in a column slowly but steadily along the narrow path above the stream. Despite the lack of armour, dozen of them were clearly soldiers wearing white tabards with golden sunburst on the chest, but in middle of the party a dark haired woman trudged beside her horse. They had been journeying for a month already and reached the northern Andor when a message from Iussi, the father of the children they were searching for, reached them. He reported that their carry was heading to Arad Doman and bid them to head to Katar for further instructions. That had meant crossing the Mountains of Mist to cut time, a decision the woman, Arette, deeply regretted.

 

She had grown more at ease in saddle and wasn't aching anymore - as badly at least - but her feet were dead as they had to walk the horses. Traveling with the Whitecloaks had been a trial. She was an Aes Sedai after all, if disguised with a weave to look normal, and their organization was a sworn enemy of the White Tower. Con, the leader of the party and her former lover knew the truth as did the Inquisitor, a friend of his. But they would keep their silence until the kidnapped children would be safe. There was no telling what would happen if the rest of the men found out, though, even if they had been chosen for this mission because of their trustworthiness and fairly moderate views. Arette had tried to avoid them to the best of her ability, but decided that it would be too strange for people traveling together to behave like that. Also she had become quite desperate for company, for someone to be friendly to her. She missed her babies bitterly and not a night passed when she didn't shed tears pressing a bundle to her heart and dreaming that it was one of the girls.

 

The affair of her and Con hadn't ended well and he refused to give anything of himself to her anymore. She had tried to talk with him multiple times over the trip, latching to his side during breaks, when they woke up and made the camp at night. But every time he had rebuffed her attempts to open discussion. He nearly always stayed close to the men and their matters could not be discussed on hearing range of others. Few times when she had managed to corner him, Brandeis had come to his rescue. Or then he just walked away. Arette had pretty much given up hope already and was closing her heart for him too. It just hurt too much and she was finally understanding that he had told the truth when he had told Brandeis that he could not allow himself to love her anymore.

 

The Whitecloaks had surprised her. Most of them wondered silently why on earth was she allowed to tag along, but they all must have noticed that something was going on between her and Con, but thankfully they never brought the topic up. Instead they offered her courtesy and some even friendliness. Especially Luca and few others helped her discreetly in many small ways and she was welcomed to sit with them at the camp. In her state of mind she wasn't much of a talker, but she listened to their banter and sometimes even smiled and replied. And she appreciated the effort; and them. If someone had told her that she would one day enjoy the company of the Children of the Light, she would have laughed at their face. But the Wheel weaved as the Wheel willed. They weren't bad men really, only misguided and these people less than others, but the same could be said of the White Tower and its inhabitants.

 

They hadn't been traveling very far yet today and it wasn't a time for a break, but somehow a stone had entered Arette's shoe. It was beginning to chafe so badly that she knew that soon she would have a blister on her foot. It would be a bad thing and hamper her movement, so she called to Luca walking before her and asked him to halt. He continued the chain all the way to Con, who lead the party, and Arette then proceeded to remove the annoying object from her footwear. She was just leaning on the side of the horse with her balance on one foot, when annoyed Con pushed past Luca.

 

"Why do we be halting?", he demanded to know. Arette's head whipped toward him and her stance wobbled. The horse took a nervous side step. Con's eyes widened on alarm and he started saying "Do no be standing so close to the edge, Lin..." when the accident happened. Time seemed to slow for a moment as the dun mare tossed her head and snorted waving her tail. It hit Arette squarely on face and she took some staggering back steps... only on the third one there was no solid ground under her feet anymore. She plummeted downwards to a certain death with an ear-piercing scream of terror.

 

 

Arette Nenatiar

Retired Brown Sister

Mother of Rana and Cina

Bonded to Calvin Gaidin

[Wayfarer]

They had been travelling for over a month by the time they reached the Mountains of Mist. The news they had to make for Katar had been surprising, but Iussi wouldn't play the fool when it came to his children, no matter how easily the role came to the man. Light, but how it amazed Con that Telcia had picked Iussi for her man. Esteban at least had not been such a fool, yet that flame had burnt out, and Iussi had remained.

 

Still, in the case of Iussi, Con always felt a great deal of guilt. He had been the man's Commander, and with leadership also came responsibility. Con had failed Iussi when the man had been claimed for research into male channeling. The man had been held in the cells of the White Tower and all of Con's words and attempts to convince the Aes Sedai to still him had been for naught. Even if the man was unruly, he had done his duty, walked the wall, protected sisters yet they enough of them had cared nothing for that, only for the chance to use Iussi's condition for their research while the man who had bled for them had the taint of saidin coursing through him.

 

Which reminded him of Arette, who he watched walking at the head of the party. Light but the woman seemed to hound him every step of the way in their trip. She had been everywhere, when he was at the campfire she sat nearby. When he was riding at the front of the company, she often came to ride beside him, which was why she was leading the way currently. Even early mornings and late nights she had always seemed to be there. Brandeis at least had interceded by always stepping in, except on the few occasions when he wasn't there. In those cases, Con had simply walked away. He would listen for Iussi's information, but all she seemed interested in was pushing his buttons one after the other.

 

Still, it wasn't as if she had been alone during their trip. Some of the men had taken to her and would welcome her amongst them at the campfire and speak to her now and again. Luca in particular, the thought of which made his fists clench unconsciously on the reins of Arestas as he led his horse along the path. It had only been three nights and the man had managed to find his way into Arette's tent, something that infuriated him though he knew it shouldn't. Damn that woman, everytime he thought she'd run out of daggers she managed to stick another one in.

 

Still, she was fitting into her role as Lini easily enough. That was important, as they didn't need her to be discovered for what she was. On reflection, Con felt he could have trusted the men to keep the secret. On the otherhand, they didn't need to bear that burden, and if an inquisitor ever put them to the question he couldn't fault them if they talked, the Hand of the Light were methodical when they set their mind to it, and they knew no limits. Which was another reason why Con had been comfortable with Brandeis, the Hand wouldn't question their own.

 

Holding up a hand as Arette's horse stopped suddenly, he let his reins be as he walked past Luca to get to her. "Why do we be halting?" As she turned around, he saw her wobble and he had a sudden premonition. "Do no be standing so close to the edge, Lin..."

 

It all happened so fast, he barely had a chance to take a step forward and she was over the edge. "NOOOO!!!!" Running to the edge even as the horses backed up in response to Arette's scream that echoed from below. His heart almost skipped a beat when he saw her, she was near the edge of the cliff before it curved inward, a tree had managed find purchase on the mountain and she was hanging from one of its branches, calling for help.

 

"ROPE!!!" Con was already at his tabard, tossing it to the ground in a moment as he took the rope in hand he was given. Shimmying down the cliff as quickly as he could even as the others secured themselves to hold the weight above them, Con made his way to Arette as quickly as he could. Light but she wasn't even able to cry out she struggled so hard to hold on. Reaching the end of the rope, he was just within reach of her if she could swing out and grab his hand, his other hand wrapped in the rope to make sure he didn't slip.

 

"TAKE MY HAND!!" As close as he could get, it was up to her to reach out. Below them a river raged, the roar of which gave away the strength at which it flowed where her attention seemed to be given to. She hesitated even as he called for her to do it once more, yet she found the resolve or so he could see in her eyes as she looked up. Letting go with the hand closest to him, swinging back then swung toward him as she reached out with her hand.

 

CRACK!

 

"NOOOO!!!!"

 

"COOOONNN!!!!"

 

There was a splash as she disappeared beneath the waters, Con almost slipped from the rope as he heard it. Then after an eternity of a few seconds, she bobbed up again, flailing about. Looking up to the men above, Con yelled up to them. "GET TO KATAR! IF I NO BE THERE IN A MONTH, MY THREAD BE CUT!"

 

Crouching against the cliff face, he ignored the cries from above as he kicked off, letting his hand slip free of the rope. Punching through the surface of the waters cleanly, he angled up sharply and broke into the air gasping for breath. The swift current was already pulling him but to this he added his own strokes. Years on the docks as a child and his own rigorous training in his years in the yards had made him a powerful swimmer, and he cut through the water like a fish with the current behind.

 

Arette lay ahead in his vision, kicking and trying to keep above the water yet her skirt was clearly dragging her. That wasn't what concerned him though, what concerned him was the dark hole in the mountain that was looming, they were being swept into cave! Trying vainly to catch up with her before she slipped into the darkness, he was no more than a dozen feet from her when she was lost to the shadows.

 

"ARETTE!! ARETTE!!!" He managed to follow her cries as he made her out in the dim light. Within no more than four feet of her, she went under and didn't come up. Going under the water as he kicked, he grasped about and by the Dark One's own luck managed to get a hold of her skirt. Pulling himself towards her, he wrapped an arm around her and pulled himself upward above the waters again.

 

While it was difficult to see in the half light, he managed to find a spot of refuge up ahead and kicking ferociously as he used one hand to pull himself through the water, he kept Arette close to him with the other. Fear as much as a need to survive spurred him on, Arette was limp in his grasp which meant she had water in her lungs.

 

Barely making it to the shore, the waters nearly pulled him away as he set his feet down as the depth reached his waist. Struggling to the shore, he laid her to the ground as quickly as he could. Dropping to his knees besides her, he leant her head back slightly so her mouth opened and grabbing her chin, he bent forward and locking his lips on hers exhaled.

 

Leaning back, he was frantic as nothing happened. Bending forward again, he breathed into her again, and again, and aga-

 

Coughing Con fell backward as he tried to get rid of the water that Arette had brought up straight into his mouth and down his own lungs, even as she got rid of what she'd taken in. By the time she had cleared the worst of it, Con had managed to get rid of what Arette had gifted him. Getting to his feet as she coughed on, Con looked about with a great sense of foreboding. The waters were far too swift for them to make it out the way they came, which would avail them little as the cliffs were too steep for them to get up. Also, the waters ran so swift that it no doubt ended in some form of waterfall which would be fatal to go down, if not from the height of the drop then undoubtedly the rocks.

 

Which left only one other option, which was in some ways worse because it was uncertain. The shores of the great cavern they had ended up in led to a tunnel, one which Con could not see into at all. He'd heard rumours of strange things living in the mists of the mountains, things that left those lost in the mist to be found in pieces that were barely recognisable, those that could be found at all. What then could lurk within the mountains? Such thoughts didn't bode well at all.

 

Still, as he looked himself over he realised that he'd forgotten to take off his sword before descending down the rope, something for which he was quite grateful. Though he was soaked sodden, as was Arette which occured to him as he looked at her. They'd have to do something about that soon or they'd end up terribly sick, not something they could afford now. He had no way to light the path, so he would need Arette for that as well. Or he could tear off a sleeve from his gambeson and set it alight, wrap it around his sword and use it as a torch. Which might have been an alternative if his gambeson was dry. What had Arette gotten him into now?

 

 

Con Stavros

Child of the Light

[Arette]

Air rushed in Arette's ears as she fell and she couldn't see much because her skirts were flying and flapping against her face. She was so panicked that she couldn't think straight. All she knew was that she was going to die and never see her babies again. Saidar would never fill her again with its life and soon she would bloody pulp against the harsh rocks down there. She screamed and screamed and her hands and legs flailed uncontrollably. Then she bounced into something, her skirts getting stuck and starting to rip. With the adrenaline rushing in her veins she grabbed forward and got a hold of something solid, a branch. There was a small and snarled tree growing on a tiny ledge and this particular branch didn't look like it would hold her very long. It was dry and leafless and she held on to the slender end of it.

 

Her mind cleared enough to look up and she saw glimpses of white and faces peeking over the edge. She didn't dare to move a muscle, but she raised her voice that was already hoarse from all the yelling. "HELP! LIGHT, PLEASE HELP ME UP! HEEEEELP!"

 

A man was lowered down with a rope and her stomach clenched hard with painful excitement. She clung even harder to the branch and prayed and prayed for the Light to save her and not let the wood to snap before the rescue would get to her. As he got closer, she could see that it was Con. There were white lines of tension on his face and he approached agonizingly slowly. Then he was at her reach, holding out his hand and calling her to take it.

 

The river boomed below them and she couldn't help but turn her eyes and look at the roaring water. The river was ready to consume her and sweep her away. But Con had come for her and she was not going to die, not today. She would hold Rana and Cina again and finish this mission. She released her left hand from the branch and swung her feet for a kick to get more propelling power for her extend. She was almost half way of the motion with the branch lurched with her when the tension proved too much. With a laudible crack she fell again still holding the end of the wood at her right hand.

 

Tears blinded her eyes, but she tried to look up to see his face. She hadn't gotten the chance to say him that she loved him. She called his name and tried to desperately hold hands to her sides and keep her body rigid and tense so that her plummet to the water would be smoother. Her body didn't obey her though, but her limbs trashed about.

 

SPLASH!

 

The impact rushed all the air out of her lungs and she plummeted down under into the freezing mountain water. She kicked herself toward the light and the surface and gasped air. She was a decent swimmer, but terror was gripping her so hard that she could only flail about wildly. Her shoes and skirts felt heavy, like anchors pulling her down, and the drift moved her at dizzying speed. Her feeble attempts at keeping herself afloat ended when she connected with a jagged rock. She scraped herself badly, but managed to protect her face and head... from that rock. The collision sent her forward to another and she hit the back of her to it. She didn't quite loose her consciousness even though black spots swam in front of her vision, but every muscle in her body went limp and she inhaled water. Her head broke the surface once and she drew air hungrily managing a gasping cry, even though there was no one to hear it.

 

The waters pulled her down and her lungs burnt and felt like they would burst. Then something grabbed her and she was powerless to resist even when imagery of water beasts flashed through her mind. She was being pulled somewhere, but she was only half awake and unable to breathe. Being laid to the rocky ground on the lump on the back of her head made her open her eyes wide. For a moment before she lost it, Con's face registered in. He had to resuscitate her for a moment before she finally coughed out a lung full of water. She turned to her side and choked and wheezed until she nearly threw up.

 

She felt weak like a drowned kitten and dozen blacksmiths were pounding the back of her skull, but she was alive. The realization filled her with immense joy and greatfulness. But Light, for how long? She became conscious of just how wet and cold she was and her body was already shivering. And who had helped her? It took an effort to get into sitting position and her head nearly split with pain when she turned it. It was Con, alright. He was studying his gambeson with a worried look.

 

"C..Con, th..th..thank you", she managed between her chattering teeth. "I'm s...s..s..sorry for getting y...you into thi..this mess too. You sh..sh..should h..h..have left me. Th...the babies ar..are all th..that matters. A...are we g..going to die now? Wh...where are we?"

 

 

OOC: Feel free to NPC Arette to forward things as far as you like *s* She can channel, but barely, and will most likely be throwing up every time, because she has a concussion.

 

 

Arette

Retired Brown sister

[Wayfarer]

Turning to Arette as she spoke, Con frowned. It seemed she was feeling the cold alot more than he was, which wasn't a good thing at all. She was in bad enough condition as it was, any worse and it probably wouldn't be safe for her to channel at all. As it was it could be a little dangerous, but they'd have little choice in the matter. Walking over, he slipped an arm under her to help her up, his other hand freeing his sword as he spoke distantly. "We be needing fire to warm up, not here though. Wind do be carrying across the water, what be making it so cold. Be going into the tunnel a bit where it be easier to be keeping the flame alive and be getting warm."

 

Arette was greatful for his support and begun to nod in agreement that they should move into the cave. The motion caused explosions of sparks in her head, though, and she staggered. It didn't escape her that he had dismissing her questions, but they were propably better to be left till later. Walking albeit at slug's pace warmed her up a bit and her thinking was getting slightly more coherent.

 

"What will we be burning, Con? I can try to dry us with the Power, but fire would be good indeed." It was also getting darker as they distanced from the river, so her first deed would have to be a ball of light. She embraced the Source and the nausea surged in her with the enchanced perception and awareness of her surroundings and herself. She managed to make a small flickering flame that was about as illuminating as a firefly and tie it off into the tip of Con's sword before she threw up violently. Luckily not on either of them as she had managed to turn her head away first. Despite feeling sicker than ever in her life, she was deeply ashamed of her behaviour and positively refused to look at Con.

 

Light. If she was that badly hurt that her reaction to using saidar was to become violently ill, it would make things much more difficult. He'd have to be more sparing of when had Arette channel, and that'd mean taking time. Time was something they possibly didn't have, cave lore was something he did not possess and he wasn't sure how long he could keep them alive. Especially if they couldn't find water once they ventured further into the mountain, she'd become too ill drawing the water from the air.

 

That was something to be worried about when they got to it. For the moment, Con steered Arette clear of her last meal as they made their way into the tunnel. The light was strong in its centre, but the darkness of the tunnel was overwhelming, Con could see no more than eight feet ahead of him before he struggled. There was a little draft by the time they stopped, but nothing like the wind that they'd been hit with in the larger cavern.

 

Setting Arette down gently, Con held his sword so as to better illuminate the area before Arette so she could channel more easily. "We do be needing that fire if you be able to manage it."

 

Sitting down was good. Even better would be just lay down and sleep the headache away. But that would be a idea, because she most likely had a concussion and if she fell asleep, she might never wake up again. Alright, maybe not that serious, but she should we waked up from time to time so they could be sure that nothing was out of ordinary.

 

"I can do it" she announced through gritted teeth. "Just be prepared to dodge... I think this nausea spell is continuing". Fire wasn't her strongest point, so she had to draw in more saidar than before. She covered her mouth with her hand and resisted the convulsions of her stomach a little longer. She tried to imitate a real bonfire and tied off five threads of fire, which appeared quite like

blazing logs. The moment she was done, she retched beside her. This time it was more than one heave and with her breakfast gone already, the last heave brought up bile. She sagged down heavily, this time not even caring about the crackling 'fire' revealing the unpretty sight.

 

Con winced as he watched Arette heave her guts up before beginning to retch. There was little he could do about it though, they needed the fire and it was as simple as that. Once he saw that she had finished, Con nodded to himself and reached for his gambeson. Shimmying it off, his tunic followed it as he sat them next to the fire. He worked on his boots as he spoke. "You be needing to strip to your smallclothes or you no be getting dry along with the clothes."

 

Arette felt much better now when she didn't need to channel anymore, even though loosing saidar had made the world a duller place again. She was just crawling further from the disgusting spot in a most unaugust way for an Aes Sedai, but Con's words froze her. She gave him a little wild stare and then quite a different stare when he took off his tunic. Light, but he had gorgeous muscles. He had gotten even fitter since she had last ran her hands on those nice planes and angles. He was right about the clothes, though, they would dry better if they were off her. Thank goodness for petticoats. And at least she could unbutton herself, because since becoming a mother all her dresses had buttons on the front and not the back anymore.

 

She sat on her haunches a little averted from him and unceremoniously began to undress. She was very much hoping that he would at least give her a look. She wasn't a huge beauty, but she had gained some curves since the girls. And they had been lovers once.

 

Freeing his breeches, they were the last thing he was to take off and he sat them next to the other clothes he had laid next to the flames. He was oddly reminded of an exercise David Ronshor had run he and other students through. In teaching them to bear the elements, one of their exercises was to sit in the cold after being drenched, and learnt to resist the cold. Teaching the body to generate the heat needed, they could dry themselves in such a way.

 

Of course, they hadn't a fire then either, they had learnt to do without. It was cheating, but Con's thoughts drifted to other parts of his training, the Flame and the Void. More than anything he needed its focus now, as he'd become acutely aware out of the side of his vision that Arette was beginning to disrobe.

 

Staring intently into the flame, it wasn't long before he pushed all of it out, every single bit of it burnt away until there was nothing left except him. The larger problem was easier to take apart without distractions, how they were to get out. Con's suspicion was that the tunnel was possibly part of a larger network, though regardless it had to lead somewhere. That would mean moving deeper into the mountain, but Arette's condition left little choice.

 

"When we do be dry and you do be getting at least a little rest, we be pushing on through the tunnel as there no be any other way to go. We be going deeper into the mountain, and hopefully be finding a way through to the surface again." He decided not to voice the thought that he had no idea whether they were the only ones in the tunnels or not. It was easy for the imagination to create monsters from darkness. Better to simply be wary and not trouble Arette with such considerations.

 

Moving extremely slowly and carefully to avoid pain, Arette spread her torn dress and cloak closer to the fire. The rest Con promised sounded very good. Prospect of going through the mountain however was quite scary. They had no idea where the tunnels lead and they had no food or water. And then there was the darkness. She could make them light, but there would still be the shadows outside and imaginations working. Also there were all the horrible stories she had heard as a child in Baerlon. Many believed that it was bad luck to enter the mountains and that things living in the mist stripped the flesh off your bones before you could cry out. It was always someone's uncle's friend's grandfather who had found such a body, so obviously they were just that, tales. There was no use worrying Con with such drivel.

 

"Rest sounds good, but you shouldn't let me fall asleep. That's what Willamina - our Wisdom - told me to do with concussion patients. By night it should be safe, though. Could you maybe..." No, she couldn't ask him to talk to her. He would just say no and it would be bad. But she didn't want him just poking her either. And asking never hurt. "Yes, could you speak something, anything really. Just to keep me awake."

 

Frowning slightly, more out of trained reaction than feeling, Con spoke of the first thing that came to mind. "Brandeis and the others be on their way by now. Light be sending that they do be making it to Katar without incident. The question be whether they still be there by the time we do be making it through this mountain and reaching it."

 

Arette had curled into the ground as comfortably as possible, which wasn't much to say and leaned her head on the curve of her arm. She could feel her heartbeats on the lump on the back of her head, but it didn't keep her from thinking. She wanted very much to reply to Con, but that wouldn't be much resting. Finally she decided to do it anyway. "I'm sure that they will do fine. I wonder if they will be able to get Iussi's message, though. They know the inn, but the messenger was most likely adviced to give to you or me. But I suppose Brandeis will be asking around." Con definately was keeping a positive spirit about their chances. But any other way and they would be already doomed.

 

She bit her lip and finally blurted out the question that worried her the most. "Con, are you very mad at me? I know that I am, if that comforts at all." She must have been addled to be standing on the edge side of the horse. There were no excuses for her stupidity. How had she managed to survive to this age was beyond her. Maybe Maybe because the times she had left Tar Valon could be counted with one hand.

 

"No." Con would have found the flames as they danced rather soothing, hypnotic even, if he weren't lost in the void. As it was, he simply looked at the fire because that was where he was facing. "The wheel be weaving as it do be willing. So there do be some purpose for us being here. I do be hoping that the purpose do be including us leaving is all. Do you be thinking you be able to walk in an hour or two?"

 

It was a huge relief to hear his impassive no. It was true what he was saying. Their futures were determined by the Wheel, but individual freedom fit in. And it felt never good to be used by anyone, not even by the Wheel. She wholeheartedly echoed Con in wishing that they would indeed make it out alive. "I think that in two hours I should be feeling better."

 

"Good." Now there was nothing to do but wait. And keep Arette from dozing too much, but nonsense talk would make sure of that. Who knew? They might even be out before the day was done. Despite the optimism, deep down Con admitted that was a little far fetched. Still, the sooner they set out, the sooner they'd be free.

 

 

Con Stavros

Child of the Light

 

Arette Nenatiar

Retired Brown Sister

[Arette]

It had been two days already since Arette and Con had fallen down to this dark underground world. They had been walking and walking from the moment they woke up to the point when their bodies told them it was time for rest. For that the journey behind them had prepared them, but not for the lack of food and ravenous hunger. They had no gear with them but the clothes on their back, Con's sword and what she could make them by channeling. At least they didn't have to sleep on the hard stone floor anymore, since she could create them hammocks or mattresses for the night. Stiffness would have made walking unbearable and even though she could have eased Con, she couldn't channel to help herself. Speaking of Con, he wasn't talking. After the forced few hours when he had to have kept her awake, it seemed like he had spent his words for the next few days. It was utterly silent in the tunnels save for their breathing and footfall and it was weighing on Arette. She wanted Con to talk so she wouldn't feel so horribly lonely. But cajoling him to speak for whole yesterday had been so frustrating that she thought it better now to just focus on her breathing and doing novice excercises to reach calmness. Getting Con to communicate with her was like squeezing water from a rock. He didn't react much to her speeches either. Only the girls had elicited mild interest and Arette still had her pride. If she was clearly unwanted, she wouldn't abase herself by forcing herself on him.

 

At nights the barely reached peace of mind evaded her. Sleep didn't come easily as she laid on the rocky ground. In her mind's eye she lived through the best moments of the five months her little sunshines had been on her life. And Calvin, ever loyal. She couldn't die on him and doom him to a broken bond. What would happen to the girls if the only man they had known in their lives would be incapacitated or even worse, dead from the shock. They had already lost their mother for their little minds couldn't comprehend that she hadn't abandoned her because she wasn't gone for good. Light knew what damage she had already caused them. The worst part was that she knew with horrible clarity that they wouldn't remember her when she got back home. Three months that they had approximated their trip to last was an era to a child of girls' age. Was this really worth it? She was saving her immortal soul here, but the trade was unrecognition on the faces of her own children and not being there to witness them grow and maybe even say their first words... their first utterance would not be mom, like for everyone else.

 

Eventually the pain was just too much to be kept inside her. Willamina had taught her that it was allowed, even beneficial to let it be released. So she wept quietly hugging her budled cloak to her chest, imagining that it was Calvin or one of the girls or even Telcia. But not Con, not anymore and especially now when he was blocking her out. She had every intention of not bothering him with her weakness, but she thought that he knew anyway. She was only greatful that he didn't bring the topic up. On the second day she tried to give him as little trouble as possible by just walking and walking and not bothering him with her presence and obviously unwelcomed attempts for contact by speaking. She receded again to the fade into background tactic. It had proven a good trick in childhood and later in the house of Suinevirs... and even as a novice. If no one noticed you, they would just leave you alone and bothered and hurted you as little as possible. This whole underground journey seemed to be regressing her back into the unhappy years before the Tower when she had been powerless over her own fate. The most difficult thing for her as an Accepted had been to build a facade of confidence and self-assurance over the core where the lonely little girl was hiding. The Brown Ajah and the library had offered her the perfect sanctuary for hiding from people and all the scary things interaction with them brought with it.

 

Right then, though, her mind was at ease and her hunger pushed on the backburner. Inhale slowly through your nose, hold the air for as long as that took and then exhale through your mouth and then relax your lungs for the same amount of time than the other stages only to start again. This was the trick that kept the cold and heat from bothering an Aes Sedai and now when there was a regular routine again, she did it without thinking. But she very much didn't want her mind to wander, so she forced herself to pay attention to her breathing and to imagine only river held by the bank and wind moving on the corn field and all the multiple novice excersices. Her reverie was broken by Con, who walked in the front, signaling her to stop. It was obvious from the lights she had placed on him that before them was finally a larger space than these endless tunnels. He was going first to examine the place like a proper Warder would. Arette crept a little closer and tried to peek in too, but all she could see was stalagmites and stalactites. It didn't take Con long to emerge again and he was curt as usual.

 

"There be water and two tunnels leading off the space." Water was good news... if it wasn't stale. And maybe, just maybe there was some kind of strange underground life. Animals always lived nearby water. Arette merely nodded at Con and entered the opening, her stomach rumbling and convulsing painfully. She ignored it with a grimace, but it was getting harder and harder. She had created them a small bucket of Air where she created them water and now she prepared to refill it after tasting the water first. She cupped her hand and grasped the liquid. There was movement on the corner of her eye, something white on the water... there were living things here! Her entire body tensed as she reached for Saidar. The hunger surged in her hundredfold with the increased awareness and she felt light-headed. She focused tightly on the fleeing white thing and a net of Air grabbed it. She pulled it toward her and soon a strange milk-coloured eyeless fish flapped on the floor in front of her with its gills heaving as it tried to draw air.

 

She gave Con a triumphant look and her face was almost contorted with relief. "Light! Fish, it's a fish!" She didn't even consider that it might not be edible but rushed to set up the fire with the five "logs". It had proved to be a good concept so she saw no reason to change something that worked. "Can you fry it? I can make you a stick or a pan or something. And I have a trick to lure more fish here... if there are any." She was shaking with emotion and starvation and tears rose to her eyes unbidden. "Thank you Light! We're saved." She detested the smell and taste of fish, but right now it was the sweetest thing in the world she could imagine.

 

Arette

Retired Aes Sedai

[Wayfarer]

Two days, at least Con thought it had been two days. Without sunlight there was no sure way to tell how much time had actually passed, but they had slept twice so far. Well, he had, Arette had needed more than that, the knock she'd received had really done some damage. Nearly everytime she channeled for them, creating fire or increasing the power of the light tied to his sword, she had emptied her guts out. Or rather, she'd tried but she'd had nothing left to get rid of, and her dry heaving had been terrible.

 

She'd soon begun to leave him alone despite her attempts to talk to him. She struggled with their surroundings, he was sure of it, but even if he had been inclined to speak with her, he still would have kept little conversation. There was no telling what was in the tunnels, and the only sign he might have might be a sound. He could have probably explained that to her, but he had no intention of talking to her at all unless necessary.

 

Light but he hated the situation he was in, he didn't want to be this close to her. Despite her keeping her distance, he had to help her at places, or simply when she was so weary she struggled to continue. He hated her, he hated his feelings for her, and being around her constantly just made it worse. Everytime she spoke, a tiny piece of him betrayed him, despite having been stuffed in a chest and buried. That was what he hated most of all.

 

The hunger was something he was better equipped to deal with. His training had included all sorts of deprivation, and food deprivation had been one thing he'd learnt to live with. Having said that, it did little to improve his mood. But patience was a virtue, and he'd dealt with worse. So help him he'd deal with this as stoically as he dealt with everything else. If only it were someone other than Arette with him.

 

Yet to this unending drudging came a break. Signalling for Arette to stop and stay where she was, Con made his way ahead, leading with the blade before him to illuminate the way. It wasn't long before he had gained the measure of the cavern, as well as a bit of hope. Heading back to Arette, he refrained from scowling, she'd tried to sneak in despite being told to stay back just to satisfy her curiosity.

 

"There be water and two tunnels leading off the space."

 

Moving in with Arette, he sat by the water as he watched the fish. He'd caught sight of them before, eyeless things, but he found himself wondering if they were the risk. They could be poisonous for all he knew, yet he knew if they didn't get food soon, they would be dead anyway, and there was no telling how long it would be till they made it out of the mountain.

 

SPLASH!

 

Whirling about, it took him a moment to realise it was Arette that had pulled a fish out of the water and not something from beneath the waters of its own will. "Light! Fish, it's a fish!" The warning was a little late all things considered.

 

"Can you fry it? I can make you a stick or a pan or something. And I have a trick to lure more fish here... if there are any. Thank you Light! We're saved."

 

Her babbling irritated him, despite the idea of a meal after a couple of days. Or maybe it was the fact she was babbling, now that they'd found a meal after a couple of days. "I do be cleaning them." That was about the best he could manage. He'd have to figure out what needed to be removed as he went along, and hope he was right.

 

Taking the knife from his belt, he went over to the fish Arette had caught and, sitting down next to it, laid his sword on his legs. Taking the fish in one hand, his belt knife in th eother, he got to work with the fish quickly falling still under his knife work.

 

 

Con Stavros

Child of the Light

[Arette]

Arette crouched on the stony floor and maintained the weave that lured fish to her. There was already a nice pile of catches behind her and Con was at work cleaning them. She had made him a very simple stick out of the One Power and the smell of roasting fish wafted to her wetting her mouth. Her stomach protested loudly, but she preserved. They would need every morsel of food they could just get since only Light knew how much longer they would have to endure underground. With a simple Keeping she could preserve the perked fish but would it last until they were out?

 

Con begun to eat already and she gave him an indignant glare that he blissfully ignored. It was her who had caught the fish after all, burn him. Even if he didn't talk to her much, he could have showed at least the slightest manners and waited for her before starting to fill his belly. She dropped the weave and grabbed a fish to herself too. Seafood had never been her favourite and the first week as an Accepted had escalated her dislike to new dimensions. Now she gorged it with delight though, after the first painful cramps of her deprivated stomach. She was about to start another one when Con snatched it off her hands.

 

"No more or you do get sick. Do the preserving weave and we be moving on as there no be any more fish."

 

Her eyes narrowed at his commandeering tone, but it was true that the stream was dry of life now. She had just hoped to lure some discussion out of him as they rested comfortably with full bellies. She had noticed that his tongue was looser after a nice dinner and when they shared a pillow snuggled close to each others. But that she wasn't even dreaming of with the things like they were betwixt them.

 

"Con, can we please rest for a moment? It's not healthy to start moving right after you have eaten." She didn't wait for him to protest, but leaned back on the cave wall and made herself as comfortable as she could by tugging her cloak behind her.

 

Looking at Arette for a moment, Con didn't really have a choice in the matter, she wasn't going to move. She was right insofar it wasn't healthy to move, of course, it was also true that living underground wasn't exactly healthy either. Time was wasted every moment they were in the mountain. Light, but Brandeis and the others would be at Katar within the week. If they kept taking stops for rests, there was a good chance Brandeis and the men would presume him dead and move on.

 

"Then do be warding the food at least."

 

She had guessed right, he didn't like it, but it wasn't like he had a choice unless he wanted to drag her. And it had become quite evident already that he avoided coming close to her unless he absolutely had to. But she had gained this small victory so she could be gracious. She smiled at him and set the Keeping on the gutless fishes and bundled them together with an Air weave. She didn't bother to hurry since he would end their little break as quickly as possible.

 

 

Meanwhile she spoke as if thinking out loud. "You know, there is one thing I've wondered about, Con. That's how you became a Wh... I mean, a Child of a Light. I saw Lothair Mantelar's book in your office, but I would have thought you to head to Borderlands to help with the battle against the Shadow. That was your original dream after all. So why the Children of the Light, Con?"

 

His eyes had found the water to look at oddly enough, a far easier sight for him than his companion. Especially now that this was going to be a chance for her to try and get under his skin, like every other time she sought to make conversation. "They help people."

 

Arette pursed her lips at his curt reply, but it was a start. "I suppose that they do, some of them at least. And they get off the Fortress alot more than the Aes Sedai from the Tower." She sighed. "So, what kind of things have you done wearing the Sunburst cloak? Caught any darkfriends?"

 

Narrowing his eyes, he refrained from looking in her direction even as her words swirled about in his mind. It had started already, her mocking, a slight concession before she decided to take a polite dig at what he did. Aes Sedai derided the Children for their 'catching of darkfriends' for catching no one but innocents. Did she think she was funny? "I help people."

 

She noticed his reaction, but couldn't cauge was it because he didn't like the direction the discussion was taking or because of speaking with her in general. "I don't doubt that, Con. I just... I suppose I'm curious to hear how what the Wh... Children of the Light do differs from what the Tower should be doing." She emphasized the should, because she truly believed that the Tower could be better, could actually go to people instead of expecting them to come to Tar Valon.

 

"They do things." That said it in itself, light but Con didn't want to talk to her.

 

This was like pulling teeth, but she had started the game again and she wasn't going to give up this lightly. "What kind of things?"

 

Why couldn't she leave him alone? "Stamp out banditry, keep the peace. People be feeling safe in Amadicia for a reason."

 

Awesome, he was getting a little more wordy. She did disagree with him about the safety issue, since Amadicians had traded their freedom into safety and had to live in fear of the Inquisitors. But she wasn't going to bring it up now. "That is very good indeed. Kind of what Aes Sedai do in Tar Valon. But unlike the Sisters, the Whi..." Light, she was doing this again. It wasn't to annoy Con, she was just so accustomed to calling them by the derigatory form. "... the Chidren actually venture out of Amadicia. Have you been on a mission elsewhere yet?"

 

"I be here, no?"

 

Arette let out a breath slowly. A wind in the corn field, a river held by the bank. She was calm and collected and didn't want to smack him. "Yes, yes you are. Although I suppose you wish you'd be anywhere else right now." It was her fault that their search was hampered. And they would have to move soon, but just a few more questions while she had him talking. "Umm... " She was thinking. "Do you still believe that I am a Black Sister?"

 

That was a question he hadn't expected. Why was she testing him? What was she up to? "No."

 

"You don't?" Her delight was obvious. "What convinced you otherwise?"

 

"What do you be playing at?" Light but he hated being manipulated, he'd get it out in the open and deal with it once and for all.

 

"Playing? I am NOT playing anything. I am trying to make a conversation, that is all. Do you intend to answer my question?"

 

Arette & Con

[Wayfarer]

"No."

 

"No? That is really impolite, you know. I would have thought that Telcia taught you better. I'm not asking you to like me or Light forbid, to love me, just to answer a simple question. Why is is so hard?"

 

Looking at Arette for a moment, he turned away again after getting the measure of her. "Why do you no be having enough? Do you no be running out of daggers? Faugh."

 

She met his gaze challengingly. Finally things were progressing. Maybe she wasn't quite as controlled as she would have wanted to, but they were discussing. "I have no desire to argue with you, Con, but I would very much like to speak with you in a civilized manner. And you have talked maybe ten times to me since we left. Like it or not, we have to sort things out at some point."

 

How easy it was for her to speak of being civilised now. Where was her civility when she spoke of him as if he were nothing more than a chattel? As if his love had been the sort bought with a coin in an alleyway! When she'd taken everything he'd ever felt for her and thrown it into the flames! Looking at her with narrowed eyes, it was the only thing that gave his pain away as he spoke in flat tones. "You do be sorting them out before, there no be anything left to be sorting."

 

His words brought with them the usual shame and eternal regret of the memory. Light, she would give up alot if only she could go back to that day now and be able to accept that he had really loved her and wouldn't abandon her like everyone else, who she had loved. Only she wasn't really certain even today if she really deserved anyone to care for her. "What I did was unexcusable and I wouldn't blame you if you could never forgive me. I know that I can't forgive myself. I apologized in the Tower and the day we met again, but no words can make it right. And you're not over it, Con. If only you could behave around me like I was a stranger, then we wouldn't have anything to sort out."

 

Deliberately turning his back to her even as she spoke, Con laid down and shut his eyes, tuning out to her. She'd said something, but it didn't quite reach him, having forced her out of his mind as he did. It didn't take much to fall asleep either. After so many years of grabbing sleep when he could, when he decided to sleep, sleep was his, and a welcome escape it was.....

 

 

The past couple of days, while not bliss, were certainly easier than before. Arette had ceased speaking to him altogether save for when it was absolutely necessary. Easily able to occupy his mind with various puzzles and mental exercises, time passed quickly for him. Without her intruding on him, he had been far more successful at keeping her out of his mind. Peace, finally, was his.

 

They'd elected to go down the right path, which turned out not to be easy going. In fact, not only did it often twist and turn, it was also going down, deeper and deeper rather than up and out. Yet they had committed to the path so they were stuck with it, all that was left was to see it through. They had begun to see a new light at the other end of the tunnel, which they approached cautiously to make sure the sun did not burn their eyes.

 

Yet it was not the sun that confront them when they reached the end of the tunnel, rather it was another cavern. At least, it seemed a cavern, yet Con couldn't see the end of it. While that wouldn't be puzzling in itself, because of the dark of the underground, the fact was there was no darkness.

 

Underfoot, along the walls and even the ceiling over a hundred feet above was covered with a strange, glowing moss. Its phosphorous light cast a greenish hue across the entire cavern, the glow likewise bathed them as they stepped inside, Con leading the way with his blade before him. Until he stopped in shock.

 

Gold?

 

Looking up, it became much clearer to him. Throughout the moss, one could catch glimmers of it, giving off its own tinge as the light hit it. If it ran through the entire cavern that they couldn't even find the end of... Con was staggered at the thought of the sheer amount of wealth that was present. If there priority wasn't survival, perhaps he might've gone looking to try and pry some free.

 

But that wasn't the priority, and indeed it didn't hold his attention for long. A very dull roar had become apparent to him, water once again it seemed. Perhaps a waterfall of some sort, but if it were in the cavern, it wasn't in their sight yet. Setting off once more, he didn't call for Arette to follow, rather forcing her to keep up with him instead.

 

 

Con Stavros

Child ofthe Light

 

OOC: Sorry, I'm struggling at,. so tired. Feel free to round it out with the extr adetails such as the veins that run through the place etc.

[Arette]

The silence weighted on Arette and even as she slept, she was conscious of the great stony mass above them, keeping them from the sky and light. She found sleep eluding her despite the soft Power-created mattress as she missed desperately her babies and Calvin and Telcia. If only Con would talk to her, even curtly. Now he pretended that she didn't even exist and it really galled and disturbed her. It was like she was truly alone here. She didn't try to approach him anymore; she knew that she would be rejected again and it would snap her last resolve. She had deliberated creating them two separate camps, but the knowledge that he was there, even though he really wasn't with her, was a small comfort. And he still needed her to ward his fish against spoiling. It was always a moment of small victory, seeing him reluctantly have to come to her.

 

Still, they seemed to be going only deeper into the mountain and she had almost given in to the conviction that they would never get out. She had started to ration her own share of the bloody fish, but even the small amount she forced herself to eat appalled her. She would never ever eat fish again if she could just avoid it. It was quickly becoming the hated symbol of this seemingly endless underground journey.

 

They couldn't be certain how much time had really passed, but they had slept twice after the fish cave when they started seeing light. Both quickened unconsciously their steps, eager to get outside, but they slowed down as they approached to shield their sight from the brightness. Arette nearly cried of disappointment when the source of light was revealed. It was yet another flaming cavern full of eerily glowing moss. She stopped for a moment to gather herself and then noticed that Con was staring at something on the wall... something shiny and glittering.

 

Gold!

 

And Light what a vein it was. She could buy half of the Tower Library with this sum! Her girls would never lack anything in their whole life. It was a secret worry she had had. The Tower no longer gave her allowance since she was an exile, not a retired Sister and she had guided the majority of of her income as a Keeper to Illian to make sure that the poorest children in the docks could learn to read beside working for their families. She had done it because of Con, he had opened her eyes to how badly things were with some people. With this fortune, she could send money again to Helena. So many good things she could do! She felt giddy and the blood roared in her ears dully.

 

It was propably illogical in their situation, especially since it wasn't even certain that they were going to get out, but she was already looking for good chunks to pry out and laying plans how she would get excavation parties here. Baerlon wasn't too far away, so she could reward her brother's descendants of their loyal service over the years. Markers of One Power leading the way, tied off infinately.

 

She didn't even see Con moving on and was happily oblivious to the sounds of potential waterfall as she approached the wall, moving moss to see the vein better. She stepped on something that crushed wetly under her feet and gave it an absent look. And then another one. Light, this was so her day! She let out an undignified hoot of joy that echoed in the cave and gave even her a momentary start. Mushrooms! She was saved from fish-eating. She knelt excitedly and began to gather the mushrooms to her hems. They just had to be edible. Light couldn't do it to her and snatch this sweet promise of a different dinner from her.

 

Arette

Retired AS

Goofily jazzed about mushrooms

[Arette]

It was Arette's cry that caught his attention. Starting back with his sword drawn back he slowed down as he realised it wasn't a cry of danger at all. Mushrooms, she was happily collecting them with a fervour that would have been a bit unbecoming elsewhere. What concerned him though was that he didn't recognise the mushrooms. Squatting over them, he looked at them without touching. He couldn't see any telltale signs that one used to pick a poisonous mushroom from an edible one, but then again as he'd already noted, he didn't recognise them. "That be wise?"

 

Arette smiled up at Con as he moved behind her and everything in her seemed to be loosened up. As silly as it was, the mushrooms had returned her good mood and with it she had regained faith in their survival. Her jaw set stubbornly at his question, though. "Of course I'll be careful and try just a little at first. But Con, they ARE edible. They just have to be. They wouldn't be here otherwise." Under her breath she muttered how she would not eat even one dinner of fish anymore even if these mushrooms would be the end of her.

 

Turning away from her without another word, Con headed back in the direction of the waterfall. She might enjoy her mushrooms but he didn't like the look of them at all. Furthermore, he knew she'd be stubborn about it, the memory came back to him how she disliked fish. No wonder she was falling head over heels for the mushrooms and disregarding the possible danger. He'd end up having to taste them first no doubt just to make sure they were alright, fool woman.

 

Arette glanced quickly at Con when he retreated without a word. She really wished that he hadn't heard her last quiet remark, because he could take it so wrongly. Fishing had been his family's way of living and she in no way wished to disrespect it. She had always been carefully neutral about fish, since he had always wanted to eat it when they had had dinner out and he had done the picking. But you couldn't put honey back to shell anymore and he disliked her already even without this little incident. She resumed her gathering and paid a little more attention to the mushrooms this time. It seemed that there was two different type of them. She wondered how they had gotten down here. First there must have been moss and once it had moldered, there had been growing surface for the mushrooms. She remembered a few Brown Sisters back in the Tower, who would find this place absolutely fascinating... maybe she should write to them and share the experience... maybe they would even open a letter from her. They had been friends once. But she wouldn't say a word until she had decided what to do with the vein.

 

Leaving few mushrooms of both types unpicked, she stood a little ackwardly to avoid dropping any of them in her hems. Now she would remove a nice chunk of gold and she needed her hands for it. She tied her skirts to her waist and revealed her calves and a generous amount of thighs too. Running her hands over the vein, she tried to find a good spot.

 

Turning about when he realised Arette wasn't behind him, Con's teeth were grinding audibly when he realised that not only hadn't she followed, she was planning on plundering the place for more than her precious mushrooms. "What do you be thinking you be doing?! Be getting away from there!" Con started back towards her again.

 

Oh, she should have known that he wasn't going to tolerate her stopping even for a moment. It was surprising that he hadn't been more disapproving about mushrooms. But it would have meant talking to her. She gave Con a patient look. "And why should I do that? I'm going to take a nice chunk of this gold with us. You want to know why? First of all, we don't have a penny on us. I wouldn't mind working for our dinner and bed, but for a horse and supplies it would take far too long. And secondly, the Tower is not supporting me anymore. The rest is for the girls..."

 

Con swore under his breath before speaking up. "There do be other ways to be making that money. Look at this place! It do be a wonder and the first thing that do be striking you is to be chipping a bit to be carrying off with you? Never be minding that we no be out of here yet."

 

Arette tsked at his swearing without even thinking it, but couldn't dwell on it now. "What kind of ways? I thought that it was you, who didn't want us stopping even once for anything unnecessary." She did smile a bit at his last remark. She hadn't expected such sense of aesthetics from him. "Con, this cave is beautiful, but removing a little bit of gold won't be noticed. And that's what gold is for, to be spent. And on good cause in our case. As for us not being out yet and not having the slightest clue when we'll see the sky again... I don't want to think that. If I start, I can't go on... So, are you going to let me to take the gold and then we can move on or will we be arguing about this for the rest of the day?"

 

Con didn't say anything, he simply glowered as he almost dug his heels in physically. His look spoke for him, there was no way he would approve of Arette indulging a bit of goldlust. He could give of his own funds to support his daughters, there was no need for this. If Arette wanted his support, she wasn't going to find it in him at all.

 

She was about to just shrug and get the gold and get going. But if they didn't resolve this now, there would be even more bad blood between them from Con's perspective. The old Arette would have just kept her own head and done what ever she pleased without needing anyone's approval, but she very much wanted Con to understand why she was doing this. Maybe he could then even come to accept it. Light, she could even leave the gold if it was so bloody important to him.

 

"Con, why do you think that I'm doing this?", she asked softly. "I really want to talk this through. I promise that I won't touch anything if you still don't want me to after that. But I need you to tell me why you oppose it so."

 

"It be wrong! Do it no be self evident? It be a place untouched, who be knowing how many centuries be passing with not a soul seeing this place. You do be wanting to mar it, some things just no meant to be touched, some things you just no be doing. Why do it be so hard for you to see that?" Something that could have been said about a few other things as well.

 

Drawing a deep calming breath she spoke slowly. "Of course I see that, Con. But I can't help it that I also see this gold as a tool of helping people. Con, you are a man of ideals, but I was forced to become practical with money as the Keeper. I know exactly how much it costs to buy farming tools and support people until they can earn their own living. Or helping poor families to let their children take some free time from work and learn to read. And so many other things. Work is important, people giving their time and effort, but those people need to eat too. And for that you need money. Gold. This gold here will do so much more good feeding and helping people than laying here in it's lonely purity. Can you see that?"

 

"I do be seeing that. I also do be thinking there be plenty of other places to be finding gold if you do be wanting it. This no be a commitment to helping people, this do be convenient for you is all. You no be looking for gold beforehand to be helping people, and you no be winning me over with such talk now that you do be seeing an opportunity. If you no be born with the spoon in your mouth then maybe you be understanding that." The last was hardly needed, but as usual she made a mockery of everything. He knew what real suffering was, and she mocked his thoughts as some sort of misplaced idealism. She had no idea.

 

"I have almost no talent with Earth, so finding gold wouldn't be quite as easy task as you seem to be thinking. Also it would take some traveling and living in difficult circumstances, which are not suitable for babies. So yes, this was a very convenient find and maybe it was meant for us to come across it.... but whether we use it or not is up to us. And how would you know anything about what I've been worrying and thinking about over the past year? You just think the worst of me. And you are partially right, I give you that. For quite some time I didn't help much or think anyone else but me and my own self-pity. But I was shook out of it and became a respected apprentice of the Wisdom. And I have continued funding some private projects I started in the Tower... only now I don't have the monetary backing of my position behind me anymore, but I have to find the money all by myself. If you have kept in touch with your family, you might have heard the name Helena Emporios. She is a retired Brown, who I persuaded to help the people in Parfumed Quarters... I have also some people in Cairhien's Foregate and Ebou Dar's Rahad..."

 

"As for the last little remark about my background...", her mouth twisted bitterly at the memory of her childhood. "...you are right to despise most nobles for their cold-heartedness and blindness to human suffering... to poor people's suffering. And for the most part the Tower isn't much better. I believe that you and every Sister from "common" family is much more qualified to understand what it really means to Serve All. The only thing I learned in the place where I grew up was that no one cared about me, my parents the least. I was but an asset to them. Oh, they fed and clothed me, but they wouldn't even embrace me when they sent me away to serve the family better elsewhere. I was seven and I was causing a scene when I didn't want to leave my little brother." Her eyes remained dry for she had cried all her tears for her parents by the time she was twenty. "I would trade that any day to your tougher life in Parfumed Quarters, but with loving big family."

 

"No be talking about you no be knowing." Glaring at her, Con gestured with his free hand for her to come away. Any ground she possibly gained opening herself up so was lost the moment she spoke of living in the Perfumed Quarters with such ease. His life had not been easy, and to speak of it so lightly was not something he was going to respond well to. "Still, you be thinking of your powers and the easy way. Maybe it no be occuring to you that for the rest of us mortals, we do be having to get by and do things the hard way. With labour, toil, sweat and blood. You no be knowing these things, and you never be because you be afraid. Village wisdom? Your life truly be a trial." There was no mistaking the contempt in his voice. "If you be so intent and stealing, then be doing so. You be carrying your gold to the surface yourself, and may you be choking on your greed."

 

Turning away, Con made his way to the sound of the waters with absolutely no intention of turning back again. More than anything, Arette disgusted him with the way she lusted after the gold. All well and good to speak of noble causes, but gold did things to people. And now, to despoil a place untouched by men such as this? She had no conscience, truly.

 

It was obvious that she had lost his ear and lost this argument, the moment she had allowed herself to lapse into reminiscing. It was unfair what he said about her not knowing what work was. Sure, maybe she had never faced the threat of starvation and worked to keep hunger at bay, but she had been made to use every little strength in her to keep going. He was wrong if he thought that she had paraded her apprenticeship to him to get his respect. She had mentioned it to merely say that she understood a little better what it meant to really work. All in all, he was being ridiculous.

 

"Greed, Con! I'm sure that you're feeling yourself bloody righteous now. So much better person than me. Tell me something. Can't you bear the thought of this gold helping people, because no one helped you and your family?! Would those lucky people helped by evil noble me be somehow corrupted by their good fortune that they didn't earn by working their hands bloody and backs sore?"

 

Con merely threws his hand back over his shoulder in a dismissive gesture as he kept walking. She was so incredibly ignorant, she would never understand what she was doing. Not only would she desecrate this place, but she didn't understand at all. People given handouts lost their pride and became beggars. People given a hand up retained their pride, and they didn't become slaves to a person's generosity. Telcia knew better, because Telcia trusted him and listened. Arette on the otherhand, faugh.

 

She would take the gold, and she would spend it. She'd buy food, clothing and whatnot, and she'd just throw it at people. All well and good, except money runs out and then people are left starving again. And he remembered what she did in Illian, but it changed little. They were there teaching people how to read and write, it might help a few people rise to something else, but it didn't fix the problems that were there to begin with. All the do-gooding amounted simply to that, do-gooding and salving one's conscience instead of really making a difference.

 

 

Arette & Con

[Wayfarer]

Con's dismissive and contemptuous gesture left Arette fuming. She knew exactly what he was thinking right now, because they had discussed this matter before. He thought that she was merely giving people fish instead of teaching them to fish themselves. She knew how giving help in a wrong way could pacify people and make them reliant on the helper. That was not what she wanted at all and she had given careful thought on how to avoid the problem. Poor people didn't have much else but their prides and things couldn't be rushed with them. They wanted to be able to give something back and to feel that their helpers didn't try to be above them.

 

Helping them to start businesses seemed to be the best route, lending money with a decent interest and expecting to get it all back. It always took considerable amount of time to get them trust her agents enough to accept the deal and believe that they weren't trying to capture their family business. Besides, everyone disliked merchants and money-lenders... and Aes Sedai, in whose help there was always a bait. Even if they were grateful, there was always enough resentment that people wouldn't allow themselves to be completely at their helper's mercy. It definitely wasn't an ego rub.

 

And of course tangled in it all were social classes and privileges and arbitrariness of the nobility. They were quite happy to keep the majority of people poor, ignorant and oppressed. Ah well, this was a lost cause. She shouldn't have gotten into personal insults, but Con truly frustrated her. She wasn't going to give up completely, though. They would discuss this even if it took fifty years and she would mark the route down here... only that he didn't have to learn yet. She wove Keeping around the mushrooms and rushed to catch up with him.

 

Hearing her catch up, he kept a brisk pace nevertheless, light how she infuriated him. Part of him wondered why he'd bothered diving after her in the first place, but that was a voice he didn't lend much weight to. No matter what she thought or chose to do, he was better than such thoughts, he wasn't about to take the easy route like she did, he saw things through to the end and he owed it to Telcia as well as his daughters.

 

The rumbling grew louder as they made their way, and soon curiosity was satisfied with a mingling of disappointment and wonder. They had reached the edge of a lake he could not see the other side of, one whose waters had taken an emerald cast from the light cast by the phosphorous light. Looking up, one could see the source of the lake's waters, somewhere above the waters ran and they had breached the ceiling of the cave, pouring into the middle of the lake, unlike anything one could find on the surface.

 

As wondrous as it was, it also presented a problem. They would have to circumnavigate the lake in order to get around, if there was indeed a way around. That would take time, and they had been traveling for sometime, a break was in order, perhaps even a longer rest, and definitely a meal. Clearing the waters by a few dozen feet, he point to the spot he'd picked out to Arette. "Here, no be knowing if the waters be concealing anything."

 

Con kept a speed that forced Arette to focus on her breathing to be able to keep up with him. She would not give him the satisfaction of seeing her wheeze and need to take breaks. Her condition wasn't what it had been at the peak of their affair. She had lapsed training right after the exile and then resumed it with fury, wishing to... Light, the memory horrified her... get rid of the child. Willamina had stopped it and guided her energies safely. It was good to have to concentrate on something else now. Still the anger over the argument was boiling under the surface.

 

They were fast approaching the waterfall and the look on the lake its waters had formed stopped Arette on her tracks. Light, but this was a beautiful sight. She could feel some of the reverence Con had felt in the previous cavern at the thought that they were probably the first people ever to see this. But the ever practical part in her saw opportunities in the luminous lake too. A bath! She had created them enough water to wash themselves over the journey, but it would be wonderful to be able to submerge herself completely and feel pure.

 

Though the phosphorous glow gave her a little pause. She didn't want to start illuminating herself too. There was a look of concern in Con's face as he scanned the walls and Arette picked up soon what worried him. The lake blocked their way. If they would have to retreat back now... the last crossroad was over a day's walk away. And even with the mushrooms... they would really have to start rationing food. She looked levelly at him when he suggested that there might be something in the lake.

 

"I will Ward us, Con, so we'll get a warning if there really is something else living in here." It was obvious that they would be having a break. Her stomach reminded her that she hadn't eaten much of the fish in their last dinner. Her mouth wetted when she thought of the mushrooms. But first they would need a fire and the mattresses to sit on. She set herself to the task.

 

After their meal, Con found that while he wanted sleep, sleep didn't want him. Curled up as he was, instead of becoming sleepier he was becoming more awake. After what must have been an hour, he sat up. Light but he felt warm, Arette must have made the fire hotter while he was lying down, he felt as if he were no more than a foot away from it. "Can you be making that fire smaller? It do be a bit hot."

 

It always took a little while for the stomach to digest food and you to feel full. Arette didn't want to brood in negative thoughts while waiting for it, so she focused on her breathing again and began stretching her feet and trying to relax the muscles in her feet. She didn't know how long each stretch took, but warmth spread from her belly to her every limb and she was feeling content, euphoric even. It was quite strange really, she could feel everything at the same time, kind of like when embracing Saidar and she wasn't doing it right now. She could feel the soft linen dress pressing to her skin, the saliva on her mouth, smell the slight sweat... increased awareness of herself, but not that of her surroundings.

 

As she was examining these strange sensations, Con spoke and his voice sounded a little bit slurred, coming slower than usually. Nah, she must be just imagining it. "I haven't done anything to the fire, Con." But now when he did mention it... she felt like she could open a few uppermost buttons of her dress. Her whole body felt warm and light. If she stood up now, she might walk like a leaf floating in the wind.

 

"I no be saying you did, I just be asking if you be making it cooler." Turning so he supported himself on one hand, Con could feel every muscle in the arm tense to support his weight, not that there was much to it. Such a perception was peripheral at best as he was more focused on what he was saying. Light but the heat was getting to him a bit, the fire was definitely hotter than before.

 

Arette seemed strange though, languid was a word that came to mind though Con wasn't quite sure why. She just seemed, well, free? "Look, could you be doing it for me please? And why do you be sitting over there?" It just occured to him that the fire nearly obscured his vision of her, why was that?

 

As Con turned to her, he seemed to be glowing too. It must be just the fire playing on his features. Arette couldn't get her gaze off him. He looked so good. Even the beard seemed to fit him now, make him look even more manly and mature. Somehow what he asked her made her so happy. His voice seemed so booming, so deep. She laughed and it didn't sound quite like her usual voice either. It was softer, younger, like jingling. "Where would you like me then? And I have a better idea, Con. Why don't we go swimming. That would be wonderfully cool."

 

Con blinked as he processed the idea for a moment then smiled. "It do be." Then something tugging at the back of his mind made itself known. There was a reason why they hadn't made the fire so close to the water, a reason that made him frown as he considered the problem. "We no be sure if there be anything in there though. I no been here before."

 

Arette listened his arguments absent-mindedly. It sounded so wise and reasonable. "You're right. Maybe we shouldn't swim. But taking off some clothes might help. And I know..." She embraced saidar with the idea of making them little wind and a fan she could use. Colours and light bursted in her skull and she arched her back as the vastness of the Source, of this cavern, of the mountain above them washed over her. "Wind" she whispered and a breeze rippled Con's hair and tunic. It felt like the whole universe was at her fingertips and she could do anything she wanted. She laughed triumphantly and the bells sang in her ears again. There was something, a memory. Something that she shouldn't do. Oh yes, creating a little fan, she released saidar reluctantly. Too much wasn't good, even though it felt so lovely. The heat seemed to be waving off her like from oven and she tried to clumsily open her buttons. She stared at her hands unhappily. "Too hot and I can't do it. You should help me, Con." She started fanning herself, but even the gushes of air seemed lukewarm.

 

The breeze disappeared as soon as it began, and it had done little to alleviate the heat. Her laugh had given him a smile once more, he almost laughed except a part of him said no, the reasons of which only half formed in his mind. Now she was fumbling with her buttons, now she wasn't, and she needed his help. Getting to his feet, he almost floated as he made his way over to Arette and sat down next to her.

 

Taking the first one in hand, it took him a little to get it undone, it seemed awfully small compared to his fingers. Moving to the second one, Con's face became a mirror of concentration as he spoke. "These do be awfully small buttons, how many do I be undoing? Also, could you be unlacing the top of my shirt? It may help with the heat I do be thinking." Not to mention tight, it felt like a glove.

 

She beamed at Con as he sat down beside her. He oozed warmth too but his presence made her burst with joy, so she didn't care. His hand felt so heavy on her chest and it seemed to be trailing flames. And it tickled as he struggled with the button. She giggled and the sound sizzled in her head. Something was trailing down her cheek and as Arette lifted her hand to touch it, there was wetness.

 

Tears! She was crying. But why when everything felt so good. They were a little cooler than her skin, so she didn't bother wiping them away. Con was important now. His shirt needed opening. She fumbled on the laces and her hands didn't seem to be obeying. "I've missed this, Con. I've missed you so horribly. This is like from a dream. So many different versions of how you'd come back to me."

 

Her giggling made him smile even more, that was a sound he realised he'd missed. Why had he missed it? She missed him? Go back? The heat which had begun to feel pleasant near Arette became uncomfortable all of a sudden. Her hands shouldn't be so close to him. He remembered now, he remembered all of it. Letting go of the third button he'd loosed, he backpedaled, the lace of his shirt coming free of Arette's grasp as he did so. She looked puzzled, but all he could feel was... he felt like his heart was breaking, breaking again. That was why he didn't want to be near her, that was why he missed her, that was why she missed him. She'd done it. She was the one that had wrought all of this. She was why they were in the cave. She was the one. She was. She.

 

"Why? Why do y-" A sob interrupted him, and a part of him railed inwardly at having betrayed himself so. Scrabbling to his feet as he felt another shudder pass through him, his heart wasn't only breaking now, it was burning. He didn't want to feel, couldn't feel, must leave. His steps were so light he felt like he was skipping as he left. He just needed to get somewhere, anywhere away.

 

She didn't understand. Why was Con retreating from her? He looked so unhappy and he wouldn't let her to comfort him. She tried to ask why and let out a single sob reaching her hands out at him. He ignored her and glided away. But she had to catch him and make this right. It was the most important thing in the world now. She stood quickly and nearly tripped on her skirts. As she walked, it felt like her feet weren't touching the floor. But he was fast too and determined to avoid her. The rocky beach wasn't that big, yet they managed to prance around each others. She was starting to feel more and more that this was useless and silly even.

 

"Con, please talk to me. What is wrong?"

 

He couldn’t be around her, it just hurt more and more. Hearing her voice was physically painful, he felt like his ears wanted to close in on themselves to block her out. Looking away from the waters, he almost jumped as he took steps. Bounding away, his feet flowed forward with an almost effortless grace, every si-

 

Con’s eyes widened as he looked down, he could feel his foot slipping. His foot slid sideways along the moss, twisting slowly through the air as he did so. Flailing about with his arms proved little use, and it was the best he could do as a new pain from his ankle threw him. Hitting the ground on his side, Con looked up to see that Arette had nearly reached him.

 

His face between a mixture of agony, anguish and even fear, Con tried to pull himself backward. “Stay away! You be doing it, all of it. No be doing it again, your daggers no be real but they be hurting worse than steel. Why can’t you no be leaving me be?†Tears that had nothing to do with his ankle flowed as he kept trying to pull himself backwards.

 

Arette gasped when Con slipped and strained his ankle. Sweat was pouring already from her every pore as her breathing pattern had broken. She was about to reach at him and offer him her hand and help him up, but he pulled away from her. The lightheadedness was leaving her and she felt the full stab of pain at his obvious revulsion toward her. The tears flowing down his cheeks were undoing her and she almost wrung her hands in her desperation to help.

 

"Please Con, I don't want to hurt you. I'm so sorry. Let me help you. You are in pain and I can ease you."

 

“Ease me? Hurt me.†Wincing as he pulled back, it proved too much and groan of pain escaped him. Laying back, panting, Con would have cursed if he could but only summon the anger that had always been his salve, yet it wasn’t in his reach. Arette unfortunately was as she used the chance to close the last few feet of distance and kneel beside him. She radiated heat, too much, far too much. Looking up at her, death would have been preferable to the misery that coursed through him. “Why do you be following me? You no be having use for me. Why do you no be giving me any peace?â€

 

She couldn't bear to see him hurting like that. The edge of her vision morphed slowly and all she could see clearly was him. Irresistibly she laid her hands on his cheeks and stroked them, then tangled her fingers on his hair. She closed her eyes, but the image of him remained burned on her mind. She let her fingertips feel him. "I can't help it, Con. I want to be with you. If you can't find that peace with me, you can't find it anywhere. We need to talk. You need to talk. Get it out. It will help. Please talk to me."

 

Her touch burned, as much as he wanted it he wished it never was. Every moment a tortured reminder of how he had been used. "Talk? You no be wanting to talk, why be talking to a toy?"

 

She remembered, she remembered everything and her vision reeled and darkened with the guilt and self-revolt. "I hurt you, Con, because I was hurting. It was despicable, trying to destroy your self-confidence and the precious thing that we had in such a way. I loved you so much and I tried to stop when I thought that you didn't love me anymore, but wanted Telcia instead. And why wouldn't you? She is so much better than me in every way. Admit it, Con! You thought it then and you still do! But it doesn't matter. It doesn't affect what I feel. I still love you and I'm hurting too, because I've spoiled everything. You need to talk, because you're still hurting too. It's the only way to get over it for good."

 

Almost laughing at the misery of it all, Con spoke without thinking. “Telcia? It no be Telcia that I be wanting to marry, it be you.†There seemed to be little else but Arette and a green haze behind her as he spoke on. “You be the only woman I ever truly be loving, and yet you be taking it and… And still I love you, do you no be understanding that? To love what be spurning you? And now how do I be knowing that you never be doing so again?â€

 

Light, he still loved her! And marriage... after only so little time, he had... Tears of gratitude blurred her vision. Her voice was choked when she spoke. "You can't know it and I can't know it either. It requires trust and I betrayed you so badly that even if you wanted to take the risk and give me another chance... it would take time. But I have learned! I want to believe so at least... It's just... with you I can't think straight. And we argue all the time now. It wasn't so then in the beginning. Until I did things..." She lowered her head. It seemed so very hopeless. How could he ever believe that she had changed. But maybe... if he loved her the way she had been... "We didn't know each others very well yet. And it's been a year since we last were together. We are both different now. But do you even want to learn to know how?"

 

“I…†Words failed him as what she said whirled about in his mind. He wanted to trust, yet he couldn’t trust, once was bad enough, twice he would not do, he couldn’t do it! He was about to say as much when he saw the tears running down her face. Reaching out, he wiped them away with the back of a finger gently, her warmth seeming to pass through his finger as he did so. Turning the hand palm upright, his voice was a bit strained as he spoke. “Could you help me back?â€

 

Con lifted his hand so gently to her cheek and she guessed that he had seen the tears. She wasn't even sure was she crying for real now or was it just.... Her eyes widened. The mushrooms, it had to be the bloody mushrooms. She had read about this kind of a thing. All the symptoms matched. Only she didn't want to think it now, but to savour the moment. She laid her own hand lightly on the back of his hand and it seemed to her like blue sparkles flew between their skins. She tremored, but didn't want to press her luck and pulled away slightly.

 

His plea of help reminded her of the ankle and she sucked breath between her teeth. He might need Healing and then he would he hungry and they didn't have too much food left. Maybe rest would do it and if they were just careful tomorrow... He was waiting and she quickly stood up brushing her skirt and extended her arm.

 

Getting to his feet with her help, he needed to rest his weight on her in order to walk. Leaning heavily on her, they slowly made their way back to the fire. Having her so close to him… time seemed to pass too quickly and they were back at the fire. It was hotter than before, or maybe that was because she was so close. Unlike before, the heat wasn’t a problem though. Moving slowly, he eased himself down and looking up as he was settled, he found himself looking at her hand. The way it fit in his own, he wasn’t so ready to let it go.

 

The fire seemed to be at the end of a narrow tunnel and she was strongly aware of Con so near to her. She deliberately pressed herself tight to his side and breathed his scent... musky sweat and him underneath it. It was quite intoxicating even without the mushroom effect. He was like a bonfire and she didn't want the short walk to ever stop, so she dragged her feet. But there they were eventually and with an effort she helped Con down on the mattress. He didn't let go of her hand and her heart was beating faster. Their eyes locked and she held her breath unwilling to say or do anything to end the magical moment.

 

The moment seemed to last. There was no other way to describe it, even the fire seemed to burn more slowly as Con was aware of it. In fact, there was little else save Arette, the fire and the green haze that filled the cavern. Yet Con blinked, and in that act the moment was lost, yet that didn’t mean he had to let go. Giving an ever so gentle pull, Con looked up at her “stay with me?â€

 

The motionlessness was broken by Con blinking. The breath she had been holding rushed out and she felt a little giddy. The sparks were still there around their joined hands and tendrils of heat and his scent seemed to be wafted in the feverish air. He tugged her slightly and... Light, was this really happening? If she was imagining it, she didn't want to ever shake out of it. Her whole face was by happiness and she could only whisper "Of course" as she settled on the mattress beside him leaning on her elbow. She wouldn't have known what to do with her other hand if it still wasn't on his. Only... she didn't feel like she had laid down at all, she felt like she was floating upwards toward the ceiling. It was a wonderfully crazy disorienting feeling. As if she could be in her senses anyway in his presence, her knees touching his thighs.

 

Holding her close, Con couldn’t quite believe she was there with him, a part of him likewise couldn’t believe he’d allowed her so close. That voice was as nothing though, all that mattered was the moment. Lying next to one another, words were not forthcoming, words would ruin what they had. Instead, Con drew her close as she nestled herself on his shoulder as she had so long ago. In that lay a happiness he had thought lost…