Yo ;) (Attn: Ged)

[Covai Seriba]

Covai leaned against the trunk of the tree as he started munching on a roll stuffed with beef and cheese, using his legs as they dangled from the branch he was on to keep his balance. He was finally enjoying some time alone after his return to the Black Tower.

 

As he looked around at the Farm, it was starting to be a distant memory of what it once was. Many buildings remained the same, The Inn for example, which Covai was secretly relieved to see. Surprisingly enough his quarters has remained untouched. The wards he had placed has long since warn off, but surprisingly Dashiva has been maintaining them in his absence.

 

Taking a sip from the wineskin at his hip, Covai washed the food down. I should probably give Dashiva more credit.. Covai mused. The man was as serious as they came, and Covai was about the exact opposite. One of the few things they shared in common was their recruitment to the Black Tower, by the 'runaways' Koras and Zybnek.

 

Covai grinned to himself. Now there was something that occured a life time ago. Scratching his beard, Covai wondered what would happen now if a recruit called him a fool like he had called Andar in front of everyone back them. Sure, he had been foolish, and looking back now he could even be called suicidal, but he had done what he believed to be right, just as he always had, and always would.

 

Taking another sip from the wineskin Covai heard someone stop under the tree. Craning his neck Covai saw it was the man he had been waiting for.

 

Tighting his grip with his legs, Covai shifted his weight to the side as his slide from his perch. Mock-saluting to his mente as he hung upsidedown from the branch of a tree, Covai greeted the man. Admitedly, Covai didn’t exactly look the part of a Storm Leader... no, Ex-Storm Leader of the Black Tower, hanging upside down from a tree in the middle of the day, but never really was one who protocol. He had heard some people whisper that maybe the taint had started to affect him already, and maybe it had. The only thing Covai knew was that if he was going to go, he was going to make sure he had a good time before he did.

 

"So hows it hanging Ged?" Covai asked. Gripping the branch with one hand, Covai unhooked his legs and dropped himself to the ground, landing in a crouch before standing. Rolling his eyes as the soldier saluted, Covai shook his head and motioned the man to relax. "Take it easy, I'm not hear to tear you to sheads or anything. Here.... catch." Covai took the winskin and tosssed it to the man. "Have a drink and sit down."

 

"You're new to the farm right Ged?" Covai asked. Ged nodded as he took a drink from the wineskin. "Thought so. You'll have to forgive my slip, we're supposed to be calling ourselves the BLACK TOWER now. But as you can see..." Covai craned his head upwards "There isnt exactly much of a tower yet. So far its a title only, but its apt for what will eventually be. Plus it sounds more impressive too."

 

"So tell me, what do you think of the place so far? No need to try and tell me what you think I want to here. I place much more value on a man's honesty than his flattery."

[Guest Faile1987]

The afternoon sun was burning down on him when Ged left the inn where he had just had lunch with Noy and his fellow trainees. Well, at least his stomach was full now, the hollowness gnawing at him after he had messed up "cooking" his own breakfast this morning had been more than unpleasant and he had been famished and wolved down all of his lunch at once despite the wondering gazes he had received from the others.

 

Still despite his belly was filled, Ged couldn´t help himself against feeling that something was still missing for him. He knew he would never get rid of that feeling of being incomplete even though he had reached the Black Tower, his destination after all and had been here for some days. Now this was the place where he was about to stay for he didn´t know how long. Some of the the others kept on saying that the Farm would be there home until the Last Battle came upon them and the Mother embraced them home. Ged shuddered involuntarily at recalling hose words he hadn´t quite understood but were still making him feel more than uneasy.

 

But then again, did he deserve easiness? Had he been easy in Baerleon, had his temper eased down when he had burned eleven people alive? When he had killed his own mother? No. No matter how much Noy had tried to reassure him that he wasn´t to blame for what he had done, affected by the taint and all, no matter how often he had told Ged to live on in the present and leave his past behind, he knew he couldn´t. He would never be able to leave that behind. Ged knew he had to live with whathe had done and stand being constantly reminded of what he had done day or night. He just would go on and keep his oath to somehow try and make up for what he had done, although he couldn´t image how he would ever be able to make up for something like that. The Black Tower would be his only chance, he had been told, yet Ged remained suspicious about that, despite all of Noy´s and Rion´s assurances that the Asha´man would be able to help him. No, they might help him to control Saidin and fight back the taint, but Ged had no illusions. He was damned and life would never be again as it had been before that fateful night in Baerleon. He would just have to go on and try his best, no matter what happened.

 

As he was walking across the training ground though, Ged suddenly started when he spotted a man in the same black coat as he wore, only decorated with the silver sword and the red-gold dragon pin on his collar, was hanging upside down a tree Ged was just walking past.

 

"So hows it hanging Ged?", he asked cheerfully, his face split by a grin. Perplexed and not sure what he was to do now, Ged recalled that he had an Asha´man before him and stood stiff and saluted despite his hate of the militarism of the Black Tower. Being a farmboy he never had experienced something like that before and he just knew he would never get used to that way, but still he had to do as was expected of him.

 

Still grinning and looking at Ged as if he had just done something very foolish, the Asha´man unhooked the grip he had been having on the branch he had been hanging upside down from and gracefully landed on his feet standing in front of Ged, tossing the wineskin he had been holding to him with a friendly smle.

"Take it easy, I'm not hear to tear you to sheads or anything. Here.... catch. Have a drink and sit down."

 

Too taken aback by the appearance of the man he had just met and who somehow seemed to know his name, Ged caught the wineskin almost mechanically and sat down cross-legged on the ground beside the cheerful stranger, the wineskin remaining in his hand without him being aware of holding it at all, his green eyes staring at the man and himself having to struggle against gaping at him openly. Light! Those people ARE strange here..., Ged thought musingly and hardly prevented himself from shaking his head. After all he didn´t want to be impolite and already now he knew he best would do anything not to anger an Asha´man having already experienced Isha´s reaction on merely speaking to Noy in his class.

 

"You're new to the farm right Ged?" Covai asked. Ged nodded as he took a drink from the wineskin. "Thought so. You'll have to forgive my slip, we're supposed to be calling ourselves the BLACK TOWER now. But as you can see..." Covai craned his head upwards "There isnt exactly much of a tower yet. So far its a title only, but its apt for what will eventually be. Plus it sounds more impressive too.

So tell me, what do you think of the place so far? No need to try and tell me what you think I want to here. I place much more value on a man's honesty than his flattery."

 

Ged gave him, Covai was his name, he had eventually found out, a rather vexed smile, struggling to keep his face smooth, but only his emerald eyes told what he was really feeling. Taking another gulp from the wineskin and settling himself, Ged finally started to talk.

 

"I..I don´t remember much of how I came here, Covai", he said hesitantly recalling the days he had spent in the infirmary having Rion care for him after a fever had taken him that Rion had said befell everyone who had channelled for the first time. "I was really sick after...", cursing himself as he cut off noticing where his reply was getting him, Ged only hoped that Covai hadn´t noticed his slip and hurried to continue talking, thoughts swirling in his mind. "...after I came here. My first days here have been...revealing so far, I guess...I didn´t know what would be in for me as I came here, only that I had to go to this place to get help...Don´t understand me wrong, I really want to be here, after all I have nowhere else to go to.." Light! Gather your wits you bloddy fool! You´re giving yourself away!, Ged shouted at himself frantically, he certainly didn´t want to tell Covai about his past or he would have been here for the longest time now. No, he really didn´t want to be sent away! "I appreciate training a lot, even though it´s hard and not really comparable to farmwork", Ged smiled wryly as he recalled how much he had been cursing about the hard work he had had to do homein Baerleon, but this had been a sweet dream against his life in the Black Tower now. "I only hope they will be able to help me to resist against the taint and the madness, that´s all I want."

 

Pausing, Ged looked at Covai uncertainly. He wasn´t sure about him at all, even though he looked rather cheerful and good-natured, he wasn´t sure how to act around him at all. But what was said was said and the Asha´man had wanted the truth after all.

[Covai Seriba]

Covai nodded. "Thats a far enough sentiment. And shared but just about everyone here" Covai grinned. "Both of those statements that is." He clarified his point. "That was the one of the reasons this place was formed.. way back when." Covai motioned all around them. "Its also part of the reason I built this Inn. Its not as if we're flooding with vistors here, or need a place to house them. It basically serves as a place for everybody to kick back for a while and act like normal human beings...." Covai could still remember what life was like back in the early days of the farm. Life was a lot different then before Jarron had arrived on the scene....

 

Shaking his head Covai snapped himself out of it. "So tell me Ged, have you got the hang of seizing Saidin yet?"

[Guest Faile1987]

"Thats a far enough sentiment. And shared but just about everyone here" Covai grinned. "Both of those statements that is." He clarified his point. "That was the one of the reasons this place was formed.. way back when." Covai motioned all around them. "Its also part of the reason I built this Inn. Its not as if we're flooding with vistors here, or need a place to house them. It basically serves as a place for everybody to kick back for a while and act like normal human beings...."

 

Ged nodded rather absent-mindedly as his mentor spoke affirming his impression of the Black Tower. ...like normal human beings...yeah...Light, I whish we could, I whish..., Ged mused whishing it would be so easy to just put off everything he was now, leave the One Power and the torrent of Saidin behind him like an old coat. He so wanted to get back his old life, but he painfully came aware of the fact that he couldn´t. Life would never be like in Baerleon again. They would kill him if he only set a foot on the ground back there, Ged knew. No, Saidin wasn´t like an old coat which he could just leave behind, shrugging it off. Saidin was not as easy as that. It was tugging and pulling at him, threatening to overwhelm him at any time, only waiting for him to let his guard down, to strike at the very moment he would and swallow him completely. No, he couldn´t afford to behave like a human being, no matter how much he wanted to. Weakness could be fatal in the struggle against the taint on Saidin and Ged had come to know in the most painful way what that meant.

 

As if echoing his own thoughts, Ged suddenly heard Covai speak up again asking casually: "So tell me Ged, have you got the hang of seizing Saidin yet?"

 

Colour draining out of his face, Ged had to supress a flinch at this question, one of those questions he had been dreading the most since he had arrived at the Black Tower. A question leading to his past and to what he had done. He only had talked about that to two people now, his best friend Noy and Rion and Ged still found himself unable to grasp why they hadn´t shrunk away from him and dropped him like something rotten right away when they learned about what he had done. No, he still couldn´t bear talking about his past and feeling Covai´s inquiring eyes on him, Ged hoped the Asha´man hadn´t noticed his reluctance and pause when he finally spoke, his voice low and strained all of a sudden.

 

"I...I did, yes", Ged said, "I know what it means to...to..." Light, he really was messing it all up now and doing everything right as he had tried to avoid doing it. His breath caught suddenly as the faces of those he had killed began to appear before his eyes again, mouths open in silent screams, eyes pleading for mercy, bodies dissolving in flames and smoke and ashes, his mother´s dead eyes staring at him accusingly. "Oh Light!", Ged whispered, unaware that he was talking aloud, "Forgive me for what I´ve done, forgive me..." A single tear was rolling down his cheeks, his vision all blurry of unshed tears though he had thought he would never be able to cry again, convinced that he had shed all the tears left in him. The memories of his past were having him in their grip again and Ged didn´t even realized where he was and that Covai was still sitting opposite him, looking at him. All Ged was seeing was the burning inn again, the smell of smoke and death in his nose. He was losing it and he knew it was his own fault. There was nothing he could do and even when he buried his face in his hands, he still could hear their screams tearing him apart as he shook uncontrollably.