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DRAGONMOUNT

A WHEEL OF TIME COMMUNITY

UnEarthed [Lillian]


Guest Arie Ronshor
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Guest Arie Ronshor

 

 

Paiak stared at the board with a level of befuddlement as the woman across from him showed a very smug smile on her lips. His mouth opened and then closed again, scratching his head Paiak adjusted his head and relquished a rathing surprised 'hm!'. The scene was easily set on the mans front porch. A wooden walkway surrounded the front of the small hour and supported ano rustic table and chair setting. On the table was supported a completed game of stones. Villagers gathered around to see the end play while others busied themselves around the small crowd. Those that gathered were much older in age and all male. The crowd was often always male, although it was safe to say that Paiak was the oldest and known to be the best Stones player. Until now.

 

"Good play. Got you good, she did." One of the villagers said with a smile to his lips. A few others that were gathered laughed a little, while Paiak over looked the large board again.

 

"That she did." She said, a level of amazement in his voice. "For sure I thought I had her."

 

"I bid my time well," The woman smiled. "It was a good game, Master Paiak."

 

The old man laughed. "In all my years.. Before, why had we not played?"

 

"Because I am a woman and you thought me to be unworthy." She said simply.

 

"How long did we play?"

 

"4 days now. Off and on." She started to gather up the peices. "A very worthy game, I believe."

 

The older man chuckled, "Not too bad for a wisdom." Leaning back in his chair, he watched her place away the peices. Bystanders started to trickle away to carry on their day. "Good game, Sue."

 

She passed him one last smile. "It was a pleasure. I have not played in a few years and I feared you could have bested me. It is a relief to know I have not lost my touch." Slipping the last stone into the velvet pouce, she set it beside the beautifully crafted marble board. It was old, older than most that she knew, with prefectly cut black and white marble that shimmers of a near pink in the sunlight. Such a board was rare and would fetch a price most would only dream to see in a life time. But it was the sentimental value of the board that she appreciated the most. She had bested many on this board, some 4 times her age. To her, it was of the few things she could take any pride or love in. "I should return to my home. Again it was a Pleasure and we really must play again."

 

"A rematch, I agree."

 

"Tommorow than. Smiling warmly at the older man, even to her, she picked up the board and headed back to the small house at the edge of the Guiz village. The sun was set late in the afternoon, enough time to give her an hour to prepare an evening meal. Setting about her home, Suu settled into her daily routine washing a few vegetables from the garden to fry in fresh semseed oil. In the few years she had been in Guiz Suu took great care to support her life, and it also included cooking. She was not very good in the kitchen while a Novice, but after learning her hand in Herbs from her own self-teaching, she became more and more proficient at it. Hand stricking a fire into her little oven, a knock was over heard from the other end of the house. Frowning, she closed the door. Whiping her hands as she walked over and reached for the doorway. Suu had not been expecting anyone. Opening the door, there was an odd moment of surprise.

 

Slamming the door without a word, all Suu had on her mind was.. Oh shit.. oh shit.......

 

 

 

 

"Sue Talemar"

Wisdom of Guiz

White Sister in Hiding....

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Frowning as the door was slammed back in her face, Lillian had to admit that that was not what she had expected from Suzaku.  She'd known that her sister was in Guiz for sometime now, retired from the Tower and not interested in returning to the Tower.  Her actions in the Hall, walking out of a meeting over the law passed about studying male channelers, Lillian had to admit that she inwardly thought that she might have done the same but it had been a silly thing to do.  You could only change things for the better if you were involved, she was no use to anyone except the villagers of Guiz and Suzaku had the capacity to achieve so much more.

 

Besides that, Lillian needed her, she needed every White sister that she could gather to support her and she was not going to allow Suzaku to sit it out any longer.  Not after what had occurred in Illian, not after nearly dying there when so much more was at stake now.  If she had to, she'd subdue her, tie wrists up with one end of a rope and tie the other end to her saddle horn and make Suzaku walk the entire way, but she was going.

 

Well, maybe that was a slight exaggeration, but after having the door slammed in her face, Lillian had to admit to herself that there was a certain...  allure, to the idea after having ridden the entire way from Illian.

 

Knocking on the door again, Lillian's tone was somewhat dry as she called through the door.  "I didn't think I was that ugly.  Open up Suu, I rode all the way from Illian to come and see you.  I even brought a bottle of wine, I'll go halves with you."  Knocking on the door again, Lillian wondered what she was doing on the other side of the door, it certainly wasn't channeling and she couldn't hear the woman barricading the door.  "Suu, stop playing games!  Open up already so we can talk."

 

 

Lillian Tremina

Sister of the White Ajah

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Guest Arie Ronshor

Her back was against the door, barricading it from the woman that pounded on the other end, her mind in full panic mode. There was no reason for the White Tower to come searching for her. Taeadra had promised, bloody promised that she would be left alone. Swore it. On the bloody three oaths Taeadra had sworn for her to stay away from the Tower. And If only, IF, there was need would the woman herself approach her herself, and no other. The bloody woman Swore it. Shutting her eyes tightly, Suzaku swore softly under breath while trying desperately to think of a way to rid herself of the very reminder of what she did not want to have any part of.

 

"GO AWAY."

 

"You're not being very welcoming, you know that don't you?  I need your advice and I need your help, and while you've been living a rather comfortable existence out here, things have changed." Knocking on the door again, Lillian was becoming decidedly irritated, she hadn't committed some terrible faux pas by knocking on her door had she?  Lillian certainly didn't remember Suu being like this with her when they had been Novices and Accepted.  "Suu, I don't suppose you're going to explain to me why you're hiding behind the door?  I'm pretty sure I'm not carrying a plague, I don't even have a cough."

 

Suzaku winced, grimacing as she looked inward at her home. Lillian was going to cause a stir with the villagers, and her hard earned respectability would go to ruins. An Aes Sedai alone in the Village would turn heads, and for the village wisdom to turn away such a guest, and so rudely.. "...burn me a mothers son of an Ox.. flaming Tower.. Bloody flaming.... The string carried on for a bit as she deliberately ignored the woman's calls from the other side of the door. She was not going back to that Tower. Not after.. no, not after all that... I'm a Failure to their Kind. I never belonged that. I will not go back.. I won't.

 

This was becoming ridiculous now, and Lillian had to admit that she was beginning to become worried.  This wasn't Suu's normal behavior at all and she had no reason to be hiding in her home.  Knocking again, Lillian's voice had changed from mocking to concerned.  "Suu?  Are you alright?  Talk to me.  Suzaku?"  If she didn't get an answer she was ripping that door of its hinges, something was clearly wrong that she hadn't known about.

 

Suzaku.

 

Her full name triggered a more unwanted side to her temper as dread flooded her. Her neck stood on end as a name she denied 4 years ago was spoken to her. 4 years did not seem nearly long enough. Gritting her teeth, Suzaku turned around, placed her hand on the handle, swinging the door open, she could see Lillian standing there as bright as day. Burn me. Before the girl could speak, Suu embraced Saidar and a shield was placed around the woman to keep her from using the One Power herself. A Red had taught her well, and it snapped into place. Suu could have sworn Lillian's eyes grow twice as large. Through gritted teeth, words seethed through her lips. "One word of your Origin and I will carry you out of this village, Light help me, I will. Get in before I change my mind."

 

Shock was what dominated her awareness as Lillian found herself suddenly shielded by the very woman she had come to find.  Her free hand balling up into a fist as her shock gave way to anger, it was only the words that came from Suu's lips that forestalled a violent response to being shielded in such a way.  It still took a degree of effort on Lillian's part not to say or do anything, to not shatter that shield and knock the woman down.  Shielding was never done lightly, but the erratic behavior of Suu was something that allowed the worry that Lillian held for the woman to help forestall her trying to free herself, for now.

 

Walking inside, Lillian waited until the door was shut before she rounded on Suu.  "Are you insane?  Remove this shield from me at once and tell me what on earth is going on.  I came here to visit you and you slam a door on me, treat me like I'm some unwanted cousin and then shield me of all things?  What is wro-"  Catching herself, Lillian took a deep breath, then a second before walking to the nearby table and taking a seat, placing the bottle of wine on the table so she wasn't tempted to throw it at Suu.

 

Suu was shaking as she allowed Lillian to walk in, her door closed and ward for eavesdropping up and around the room. It was hard, very hard to see Lillian again. Circumstances or not, she had missed her friend. But it wasn't enough. Relying on the simple fact that she could trust no one, Lillian was graded into this the day Suu left the Tower, cutting her ties. It had been easy, so very easy to simply slip away as Lillian had been long gone at the time the horrible incident in the Hall occurred. But it was always more then that. Balling her hands into a fist and forcing them to her sides to gain some remote form of control over her temper, Suu literally forced herself to look at Lillian. Barely an age older, not even a year -if that. The ageless look had barely touched her face as well. "Do not expect to stay. Give me what ever message you have for me from Taeadra and then leave." A test.. Was it Taeadra that sent her? No, Taeadra promised.. she swore..

 

"Taeadra?"  Lillian looked at Suu irritably.  "Haven't you kept in contact at all?  Taeadra is no longer the Ajah Head, hasn't been for sometime now.  I'm here because things are afoot in the world and while you've been holidaying out here, the rest of us have been trying to fix things.  I'm not saying you do nothing worthwhile here, but come on.  A wisdom in a village?  You've been trained for more than that, are capable of more than that, of helping more than just one village.  What are you doing here?  We have needed you but you walked out, and you have no idea how long it took for me to find you.  Even when I did, I didn't come because I thought you might come back, but I'm not waiting any longer because its no longer possible.  The Amyrlin Seat is missing, if she doesn't turn up then a new one will need to be selected and we will need every voice of reason we have within the White Ajah to make sure we don't end up with another dismal choice."

 

Every word that left Lillian's mouth had Suu's shoulders drop. The eavesdropping weave held as it had been tied off, but the shield melted away with Suu's touch with the one power. Unconsiously the shield split away as if Suu had done it a thousand times before, but this time she did not even know she was doing it. No Taeadra... No Amyrlin Seat... . Swaying a little, Suu caught herself on the door.

 

"No, no. It can not be. First Karana exiled, and now the Amyrlin Seat missing. How can the Amyrlin go missing?!?" Looking to Lillian, her temper flaring once again, the One Power back in her grasp. "The shadow take you, Lillian, you Lie. There is no way that the Amyrlin could simply vanish like some Illuminator mirror trick. It is simply inconceivable!" Lillian did not move as Suu plowed on through her small tirade. "And I did not abandon anyone. I do well by a Wisdom, far cry better than an Aes Sedai. I failed every step and there was no point for my return. I will not return." Suzaku's voice cracked.

 

"I can not return, I simply can not. I am of no use to any in that Tower. You may have been there when we were young but your need for travel was far stronger than any sisterly tie. Burn you, Lillian, you left too! You left the Tower, and you left me behind along with everyone else in our Hall. Your shawl left behind like everyone else who cared. How dare you come back here and tell me that I am needed at the Tower." Anger fading as the face of her old friend sat in front of her. Longing for her friendship as it had been tugged at her, begging her to relinquish her anger. Let it go.. Silence gripped her as Suu's fists shook with her unresolved torment. Whispering. "The Tower is without an Amyrlin...How... Why?"

 

 

 

 

Lillian & Suzaku

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Swallowing the insults that Suu threw at her, Lillian couldn't help the feeling of anger that welled inside of her at the accusations that she threw so carelessly.  Suu had changed, why was somewhat lost on her, but Lillian didn't feel she had abandoned Suu.  She'd always come back, but she had always been needed outside the Tower as well.  It wasn't like Suu had told her that she was desperately needed, that she'd asked Lillian to stay, Suu had known what she was doing.  At the same time, Lillian couldn't help but feel some guilt, even if Suu had elected to remain in the Tower until she could no longer.

 

But she swallowed the insults, instead she attempted to address the ignorance of her sister, an ignorance that astounded her.  The thought that Suu had been so out of contact as to not even know what was going on in the world was ridiculous.  "They don't know how it happened, thats the point.  One morning, she simply was not there and they can find no trace of her.  They have looked, they still look, but I suspect that she is lost already or has run from her responsibilities.  Which wouldn't be such a bad thing, considering what a terrible Amyrlin she was."

 

She still seemed confused, so Lillian decided to start with what had happened after Suu had left.  "After Karana was stilled, they elected Lanfir of the Green after Asyndara and her backers were banished from the Tower.  The Blues agreed to it if she would take a Keeper of their choice, Lanfir betrayed them by choosing a Green Keeper instead, her friend Lyanna.  They ran things for awhile until a M`aeshadar, Caladesh, arrived at the Tower and killed Lyanna and Lanfir burned out, others died before Caladesh was taken prisoner.  He was found dead the next morning and Lanfir missing."

 

"Sirayn of the Green was then chosen, for reasons I cannot fathom.  She is the one who has disappeared recently without a trace.  Her reign has been one marked by antagonism to the Dragon and the Black Tower, which is why I'm here.  I need your help with the White Ajah, for if she is gone and a new Amyrlin is picked, we cannot allow the current leaders of the White Ajah to dictate.  Leah Bree is the current Head who replaced Taeadra.  Adrai Tynin is still the eldest sitter, and the other sitters will support whatever decision Leah makes, and it was her that pushed for Sirayn."

 

"You cannot fight the strong current, but thats what the White Tower has been doing.  We need a new Amyrlin, one who will swim with it, ride it out, rather than spend themselves and the Tower in a futile effort to cling to what was instead of embracing what is.  We have the Dragon out there in the world, there are Forsaken loose.  We either unite to change the White Ajah, to find new leadership that will lead us well, or we will end up with yet another Amyrlin who will betray our Tower with their pride."

 

Leaning forward in her seat, Lillian wasn't quite done yet.  "And don't you dare say that I left you behind.  I might not have been there, but you never told me either!  It wasn't simply a love of travel that took me from the Tower repeatedly, there is so much work to be done in the world, but I also came back time and time again.  I've been trying to do everything for so long, don't you dare put your choices on me.  I don't even understand the why of it, there were so many things you could have done but this?  This is cowardice.  You hid from us, and you wonder why I'm so upset?"

 

"I need your help, the Tower needs your help, and furthermore I'm sick of you hiding away.  We used to be friends, why do you turn on me like this?"  The pain was evident on Lillian's face, she wouldn't hide it, didn't need to.

 

 

Lillian Tremina

Sister of the White Ajah

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Guest Arie Ronshor

At some point during Lillian's update, Suzaku found her way to the floor. Floods of information that didn't seem possible were unfolding as she listened to the paths of destruction the Tower had lead itself into. Two Amyrlin's since she left and they were about to place a third. All in the space of 4 years. And a M'aeshadar -I have not heard that term since I was but an Accepted, reading up on the Shadow. I studied them for a year to understand opposing sides, and One, Light.. one in the Tower..- It just could not be. Suu's mind deperately tried to grasp even this bit of information, barely it registered as a hand went to her lips. Hold in words that could accuse Lillian of telling a lie.

 

But Suu knew her friend too well. Lillian could not hide a certain part of her emotions from her eyes. Her past, on the other hand, she hid so very easily. Lillian was stone. Cold, unyeilding stone. But the passion, the fear, the love of something Lillian believed so deeply within her heart. Her friend of old sat in the chair, her eyes never leaving Suzaku and she knew. Suu could see it. It was not a lie. 3 Amyrlins...... 3

 

Karana removed, this she had known, but Lanfir - the infamous Green that even Suu read about as a Novice - Burnt out. Lyanna, dead. The M'aeshadar dead before a trial. The conclusion was simple, in Suu's mind. Lanfir killed him -or had help doing so- and then fled. And then Sirayn was raised to the Stole. Images of the woman, harsh and unyeilding. Far from the friendly sorts stood in her mind with the Shawl. A good leader, one might assume, if the woman's pride listened to reason. Many of the Greens did not listen to Reason.

 

And you do?  ... silence!..

 

Plowing on floods of disbelief shrouded Suzaku's previous views, and her concern grew larger and larger. Like weaving that tore open her chest and forced a beat to her dead heart, She could not help but well up in small tears as each beat, each note, each fragement of information was poured into her, tugging at the heartstrings of her very core. She did not wish to listen, she did not wish to go back to the wretched Tower that took away everything that she knew. Her Home, her safety, her Family, her pride, her honour. Stripped away and sold to the lowest bidder.

 

But still the tears rolled slowly down her cheek. The Tower hurt, the Tower was in ruins from the Inside, and the heart of it ripped into fractured peices of rivalry and Shadow. There seemed nothing White left of the Tower as Reason had fled its halls along with her as she left in the small hours of the morning. It was not her doing, but her leaving had not helped the Tower either. And now the are Forsaken loose...

 

Her eyes hidden behind her hands, Suu wanted to refuse this information. She did not care, it was not apart of her anymore. She was not part of the Tower. No longer. No More.... Liar.

 

Wiping the wetness from her cheeks, she looked to Lillian, desperation in her eyes, the shield cracked. "I'm so sorry, Lillian. I'm so sorry... I can't.. I. .I... I'm not strong enough..... I... I can't go back... there." Head back in her hands, rocking back and forth. "I'm sorry.. I'm sorry.. so sorry... " over and over....

 

 

 

 

Suzaku Nalemar

A Paler Shade of White

 

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Watching as the tears rolled down Suzaku's cheeks, Lillian managed to remain firm in her resolve until she saw something she couldn't remember happening before.  She'd seen Suzaku cry before, but never lose control so completely that she was weeping and spilling words out in an almost incoherent fashion.  Hiding her face in her hands, shaking with every sob, rocking backwards and forwards.  Suzaku was a complete wreck.  Even as she watched, she knew that her anger was being replaced by a rush of other feelings that caused her to get to her feet.

 

Taking the few steps necessary to close the distance between them, Lillian slowly sat down next to Suu.  Reaching out and placing an arm around her back, she was almost knocked over as her older sister nearly tackled her with a hug.  Feeling like she was having the life squeezed out of her as Suu buried her face in her shoulder, Lillian returned the embrace as she simply held her, shushing her gently as the apologies began to fade away to simply make room for the tears and the deep breaths as Suu tried to gather herself.

 

It upset Lillian much more to see Suu in such a way.  It was one thing to have the woman turn on her, but while that had ceased, to see Suu so lost was even worse.  Rubbing Suu's back as she began to settle, Lillian knew that she clearly had something to fix.  But first she wanted to give Suu time, for her to realise that she wasn't about go anywhere and leave her alone, that she wasn't going to turn on her, reject her.  It also gave her time to think about what to say, how to say it.

 

It was some time before Lillian felt Suu's grip of her begin to loosen.  Holding on for a little longer, Lillian finally parted from Suu but she didn't move away as she looked upon Suu's face.  Reaching up, she began to brush the stray hairs from Suu's face and behind her ears as she spoke with more than just concern.  "Suu, I want you to tell me what led to you leaving, all of it.  I'm worried, and I'm frightened for you, I don't understand why you are like this and you don't get to stay quiet about it this time.  Suu?  Tell me, please."

 

 

Lillian Tremina

Sister of the White Ajah

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Guest Arie Ronshor

 

Trembling, Tears held in fell apart around her as she clung to Lillian. Even to her, as the tears rolled she felt more and more of a failure. Aes Sedai do not cry. Aes Sedai do not run. They do not fall apart. Weak, she was so weak. " Because... beca..cause... " She took a ddep breath, quivering.. "Because I failed and let everyone down. I Broke tradition, I broke the emotional calm I had sought. I lost course any form of reason and failed."

 

She looked to Lillian, "I ruined all that the whites stood for when I left the Hall. I took away Telcia Sedai's chance at happiness because I lost my temper..." .. The guilt caught in her through and she nearly choaked, coughing up a sniffle she shook her head. "I can barely live with myself knowing that I did what I did. Knowing that I'm a failure and unfit to be called Aes Sedai. I am not an Aes Sedai." Suzaku firmly believed this. She was not worth it. How could she be? "I am Not An Aes Sedai. Not any more.."

 

 

 

Suzaku Nalemar

A Paler Shade of White

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  • 2 weeks later...

Shaking her head, Lillian sighed as she began to wipe away the tears that were running down Suu's face.  Suu had far too long to let her guilt work on her, and had condemned herself far too harshly.  It was one thing to make a mistake, it was another thing to collar oneself with it and bear the burden rather than trying to push through.  All in the end because of choices that were eminently too logical to be logical, and maybe a misinterpretation of what it was to be an Aes Sedai that was aided by an entirely too calculated attempt to understand the meaning of the shawl to begin with. 

 

People were more than their station.

 

"Maybe the reason you didn't have the emotional calm you sought was because you were more concerned with the appearance of it than a genuine serenity.  Serenity isn't cold, or a suppression of emotion, its a harmony with emotion without letting it get the better of you.  So you made a mistake, though I think it wouldn't have mattered in the end, Telcia's husband wasn't freed.  They're in Ebou Dar now, living together, Telcia and Iussi are together with their children and living in a manor there.  I learned of it from Arette who is in turn living with Con in Illian, they in turn having their own twins."

 

That seemed like a shock to Suu, perhaps she had never considered that there might be another way to resolve the situation beyond the failed debate in the Hall.  "Just because you fail once does not suddenly mean you are to be discarded.  An Aes Sedai isn't a perfect epitomy of Tower virtue, those that come closest to it are usually the ones the furthest away from it, paradoxically.  An Aes Sedai is a servant who strives, isn't always successful, but it is the fact that they try that makes them what they are."

 

"You might not consider yourself Aes Sedai anymore, but that does not mean that you cannot take up that mantle once more.  You are needed, every voice is, and I know that you have it within you.  I don't expect perfection of you, no reasonable person expects that of anyone.  But I do expect you to try, because I know that you can and that if you are needed, you will come.  You have nothing to fear of anyone, and if anyone dares to say that you don't deserve your shawl then I'll be the first person to tear them to shreds, because anyone who says that is ignorant."

 

Drawing the stray strands of hair from Suu's face so they were tucked behind her ears, Lillian said simply.  "Come back with me."

 

 

Lillian Tremina

Sister of the White Ajah

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Guest Arie Ronshor

 

 

Suzaku felt completely out of touch, lost and barely made note of Lillians hands soothing her skin. Brushing away hair. Her smile. Within there was logic, reasons to believe that Lillian was saying. Hope at the tip of her tongue, a taste of what could be or that might be meant to be. Suu could no longer tell the difference between the pull of the Threads and her own fears.

 

'..Time weaves a pattern that not all will comprehend. It moves and spins and what is meant to be will be, for it is the way of the Pattern. I believed.. Believed that to know serenity is to become serene. My own name holds but a part of this, and felt it was my Duty to encompass the Blade Doctrine. To be the blade that cut away to find the truth, but all I found was weakness. I found I was worth so very little.. '

 

Suu looked up carefully into Lillians eyes. A sense of longing to be back in a place she had hated so deeply these past years tempted her. She loved her sisters, and missed her quarters and the long drawn out games of stones over a debate of wit. Tempted. Light burn her, She was tempted. Shutting her eyes for a moment, steeling herself away, she pushed down the initial shock and waves of emotions that were torrenting within her. Time, she needed time to think it all over. All of it. She was no fool to simple believe the Tower will welcome her back. She would not be switched by the Mistress of Novices for her shame in leaving. The Tower did not forgive easily.

 

"I..I need to think on your offer." It was the best Suu could do, for now. Standing, "I will get us some glasses for the wine you brought. I will return." Not looking at Lillian just yet, Suu hastily left the room and towards the kitchen to retrieve said glasses. Dreading the idea of leaving her home.

 

 

Suzaku Serenity Nalemar

Paler Shade of White

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A decent homecooked meal went a long way as far as Lillian was concerned.  Inn food was good, usually, but sometimes it felt like it tasted the same.  Well, except for those few places that really stood out in her mind that she noted as places to visit should she pass by the same way.  But a meal cooked here, it was a different matter altogether, a bit more attention could be paid to it and the attention paid off.  Add to that the wine they had, the meal passed well with talk of different sisters since Suu had been gone, in particular Telcia and Arette and how they lived outside the Tower now, one of which exiled and both of them living as wives and challenging convention in doing so.

 

Talk of the sisters seemed to loosen Suu up, and it allowed Lillian to relax as well as she relayed more and more news, and helped reconstruct the history of the past years for Suu so she could understand what had happened in her absence better.  As they finished the bottle, Lillian arched an eyebrow at the offer of more wine and quickly assented.  By the time they were through their third, Lillian had developed a fairly strong suspicion of how Suu helped deal with her inner turmoil.  She was handling the wine like a trooper.

 

Of course, without dinner to keep their hands occupied, there was a need to busy themselves with something.  It was an easy choice, dinner was quickly cleaned up and a stones board found its way to the table.  Two bowls possessing the stones were supplied in turn, one of them black, the other white.  Smiling slightly as Suu elected to take the black counters and go first, Lillian took the bowl of white and watched as her opponent placed her first counter in the centre of the board, a simple beginning.

 

Rather than engage her directly, Lillian opted to play for territory rather than seek an early advantage.  An action that was mirrored in turn by Suu as they jockeyed for territory, though the practiced way in which they did so quickly changed as they began to clash.  Frowning at some of the moves that Suu made, Lillian nevertheless continued and, rather than push against her opponent's pressure, she used her opponent's movement to aid her own.  Linking up with other elements even as she drew Suu's lines across her own, her opponent's movement was shaped by her own which in turn left more opportunities.

 

Most of these closed up on her, but there were enough for Lillian to steal the initiative altogether.  Realising that the conversation had grown quiet for a time, she spoke up.  "So, you thought more about earlier?  When I leave this place, I would like you by my side."

 

 

Lillian Tremina

Sister of the White Ajah

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Guest Arie Ronshor

Tomorrows rain will wash the stains away

But something in our minds will always stay

Perhaps this final act was meant

To clinch a lifetimes argument

That nothing comes from violence and nothing ever could

For all those born beneath an angry star

Lest we forget how fragile we are

 

If Suu thought back on the evening, she would admit that the meal was mediocre at best. Unmotivated to actually put thought into the sliced vegtables, they had wandered elsewhere for the majority of the her time in the kitchen. Quickly prepared and placed before them, she listened halfheartedly to Lillian's stories of Arette and Telcia. There was a small pain and envy for their gift of freedom of the Towers binds, but even she could not deny that there was just cause for her return. Mild and small, it was still there. For a brief moment she wished to have her precious Aunt there with them to give words of guidence. Although Telcia was often radical in her approach, she was more often right than wrong in her assumptions and advice. It pained her to miss one of her blood and to have that connection now lost. A small regret. No. A massive regret.

 

Suzaku than pulled out her beautifully crafted board for Stones. Placing her first mark down, Suu sat in silence as the game went on sipping her wine as if it were water.

 

"I know you wish to leave Guiz with me on the horse beside you, either strapped to it or not." She frowned at Lillian's tactics at Stones. Perhaps she had gown a little rust over the years. She had forgotten the way Lillian played, forgetting to counter the tactic better. She might be able to scrape a win, but Suu was starting to doubt it. Suu was begining to feel beaten in more ways than just a simple game of stones. "Thoughts on the matter have not come easily, nor are they ones I like."

 

Suu glanced up at the board to catch Lillian's Leaning back in her chair with her arms crossed, she continued. "I love my life here. I will be giving up a comfortable life. I make small differences in the lives here." She paused, "I do not believe there is one life I touched in my time in the Tower. I even have an apprentice Wisdom that will take my place when there is need for me to leave. I will outlive too many here to stay longer than is necessary. I will then find anouther place to settle, making my existance small, but still worthwhile."

 

"I can not say if I will go back with you, Lillian. Call me a coward, as it is very true. But I am just one voice that no longer holds any sway in the Tower. I honestly believe you have asked the wrong person to join your cause, as noble as it may be."

 

 

Suzaku Serenity Nalemar

Paler Shade of White

[Fragile - Sting]

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  • 1 month later...

The board was beginning to take definition, and it was leaving Lillian in an advantageous position.  Several clusters of Suu's were isolated because Lillian had managed to force the wedges in, had forced Suu to chase her and in the chase had been compromised.  Not that it was a certain thing, but as long as she did not commit any significant errors, it would be a game that she could claim.  But then, the game of stones was not why she was here, save for that particular moment.  No, she was here for Suu.

 

It would take a bit more to convince Suu, but of this Lillian was far more certain.  Suu would leave with her on the morrow, even if she had to strap her to the horse but Lillian felt that wouldn't be necessary.  No, she would come of her own free will and she would make the decision for herself.  There would be no resenting Lillian for getting her to accept her responsibility and duty, and facing her fears rather than hiding from them as she had for so long.

 

It wasn't going to be because it was the noble thing to do, or because of duty, or because her inner demons needed to be driven out.  It was going to be because of a much simpler reason.

 

"Your life here is ending, regardless of whether you go or stay."  A painful truth for Suu perhaps, but true nevertheless.  Lillian made another move before looking up at her sister and continuing.  "The Dragon is reborn, events in the world are moving.  That means Tarmon Gaidon, that means whether we will it or not, this world is going to change.  There is no clinging to our lives as they were, regardless of whether they were spent in the Tower, traveling the world or residing in a village and living a humbler existance."

 

"War will come, the shadow's banners will be raised once more as will those of the Light.  I won't tell you that you have no choice but to fight, but the choice you have isn't a fair one.  If you do not fight, do not return to the Tower, if you stay here, then you'll be dependent on everyone else keeping you safe.  If they fail, then your village will be wiped off the face of the earth when the trollocs come."

 

"If you do fight, maybe you will make an impact or you will not.  But at least you will have tried, and lives will depend on it.  You'll have done everything you can to keep people, like those of Guiz, safe, and that is all anyone can ask of you or anyone else.  Even if your voice would mean nothing in the White Ajah, and as far as I am concerned it does mean something, then there is still that consideration.  Will you not fight and simply pray that no harm comes to Guiz?  Or would you make its safety as much your responsibility as the health of its people has been your responsibility as the wisdom?"

 

 

Lillian Tremina

Sister of the White Ajah

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Guest Arie Ronshor

 

She stared at the board of stones in contemplative discontent, but it was not the board that her focus was on. As much as she hated to admit to it, the stones game was not the only thing that she was losing at. Her finger tapping slowly at her lower lip with her mind rolling back and forth. It was not an argument that she wished to lose however she was being cornered. Locked into this endless cycle of responsibility to herself to the people she lived with for the past years, to the Tower and the people that laughed at her. Scowling and hurtling insults at her as she walked away with save nothing but a wounded pride and a lifetime of anger.

 

"I understand, Lillian."

 

The words hurt. They cut deeply into her. How she hated it. The very obvious statement in the matter, was that ill or not, she had to return to the Tower. Ill, Light, she felt extremely ill over the matter. Closing her eyes, Suu fought against the bile the rose up and threatened her calm. 'War will come, the shadow's banners will be raised once more as will those of the Light.  I won't tell you that you have no choice but to fight, but the choice you have isn't a fair one.  If you do not fight, do not return to the Tower, if you stay here, then you'll be dependent on everyone else keeping you safe.  If they fail, then your village will be wiped off the face of the earth when the trollocs come..' The very idea of the Shadow, Trollocs or any other light forsaken creature... Forsaken!

 

Paling, Suu bolted out of her chair and into the other room. Force it down.. down.. Burn her, she was not going to get sick! Into the kitchen she grabbed at what was left of a pitcher of water and drained it down, swallowing it in large gulps, trying to force what litter dinner she had managed to eat. Suu heard Lillian behind her, standing in the doorway, inquiring, but Suu did not turn around to look at her. Too much of her effort was put on herself to keep her body calm.

"I... I may have said that I understood you.. " They were lengthy dragged out words. Breathless and raspy as she fought against her own body's need to panic. "But I am not ready to fight any war. I will go back with you, but for you and for Guiz and the World. Not for the Tower. They lost my respect and alliance the day I walked away from it."

 

 

"Do you understand... Lillian Tremina Sedai?"

 

 

Suzaku Serenity Nalemar

Paler Shade of White

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"I understand that is how you feel for now."

 

Lillian hadn't expected so violent a reaction from Suu's body, to see the woman having to run for water and paler than a sheet, she looked like she was going to vomit at the thought of returning to the Tower and what it would entail.  It certainly wasn't expected by any means, but then she wasn't in the position that Suu was.  A position of Suu's own making, perhaps, but still an unenviable position nevertheless.

 

Walking over to where Suu stood, Lillian placed an arm around her sister to help steady her.  Just because she was left with no real choice but to return to the Tower didn't mean that she was doing so alone.  Far from it, and Suu would perhaps discover that she was not nearly as alone as she thought herself.  Something to be discovered for herself when she returned to the Tower perhaps, but in the meantime there was something that Lillian could say.

 

"You should remember.  The White Tower isn't a building, or an insitution, if you do not let it.  The Tower is the sisters that reside in it, and not every single one of them has turned against you.  With time, I think you may change your mind as you realise that.  For now it is best we get some rest, especially since most of your stones are compromised now."

 

The last said with a smile, Lillian poked Suu in the arm as she added.  "So, you have a spare bed or am I chucking the bedroll on your floor?"

 

 

Lillian Tremina

Sister of the White Ajah

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Guest Arie Ronshor

 

 

Suzaku head tilted but a fraction as she set the pitcher down on the well polished wooden counter top. The Tower not a building? What sort of crap did Lillian think was in her head that she would only see the Tower as a building? If it was just a building she would not worry so deeply as to what lived within its walls. Regarding Lillian with a passively cold gaze the pressure in her head gave her that early warnings of a headache that was sure to make the morning more painful than it would be.

 

"Up the stairs to the right there is a spare room with a clean bed." She paused. "The latrine is to the back of the hall on the same side. The other rooms don't need to be disturbed." Moving around the kitchen to a shelf of varied little jars that contained powders of different shades of greens, browns, yellows and reds. Some were poison. Some were spice. One was forkroot. A nasty little herb that made her feel more sick than anything else, but in a small does, a speckle, it did wonders for her headaches like no other herb could. Lucid dreams or Headache? Choices..

 

"If that is everything, Lillian, than I suggest we retire." The fatigue evident in her voice. Wine had that horrible effect on her. "It will be a long day tomorrow."

 

 

 

Suzaku Serenity Nalemar

Paler Shade of White

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A bed was most certainly going to be welcome.  She was no stranger to sleeping on the ground, but that didn't mean she wasn't going to take the opportunity to have something better.  A good night's rest in a bed would be welcome, especially with the long day of travel that would pass when she had company.  A sister who didn't particularly want to go anywhere, but she was going nevertheless.

 

A long day indeed.

 

But at least her sister had made the right choice, And Suu knew it even if she didn't like it.  Nodding at the suggestion they retire, Lillian answered.  "It will.  And thank you."

 

Stepping forward, Lillian wrapped her arms around Suu and hugged her close.  Suu might have doubts about what she was doing, but Lillian didn't and she wanted Suu to know that.  That and it had been a long time since they'd seen each other, next time Lillian wasn't going to let Suu run off and disappear.  It had taken too much to find her the first time, and Suu should never have been left feeling that she had no choice but to leave.  That definitely wouldn't happen twice.

 

Parting, there was a smile on Lillian's face as she gathered up her saddlebags and went to the room that Suu had designated for her.  Closing the door behind her, she dropped her saddlebags by the bed before she sat herself upon it.  There wasn't much of a buzz from the wine to be felt, but she hadn't had enough to really do much damage to herself.  Suu, on the otherhand, had looked like it had hit her a lot harder.  A good excuse for good natured teasing in the morning, a step towards getting Suu back to normal.

 

Tomorrow was going to be a great day.

 

 

Lillian Tremina

Sister of the White Ajah

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