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Are Rands "girls" normal


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I will start by saying for the record I do not think these girls are even remotely normal. :'(

 

NO NORMAL FEMALE IN OR OUT OF HER RIGHT MIND WOULD SHARE THE GUY SHE LOVES, WITHOUT EVEN A FIGHT!!!!!!>:(

 

A woman’s natural jealousy and possessiveness would not share a man without a fight even if the other competitor were her best friend. After that said I am sure, you would agree how abnormal these girls are. ;D

I am sure you have seen best friends become enemies over a boy.

If you had a guy you liked, he returned the feelings and you were together. How would you feel if someone, even your closest friend, never mind your friends friend also had a serious relationship with him. Suffice to say it would not be pleasant no matter what any guy would say. ;)

Now put one of these competitors as a princess used to getting whatever she wants and you get a bloody war :o. Now Lets for arguments sake say the girls would not kill this guy. they would definitely do something about the competition or she just is not a girl! Three strong, spirited, young, free, un-brain-washed women just say Ok we are sharing this guy and, that is the end of the story. That is so retardedly fictional it is absurd. :-[ No competition no fights no even deep down resentment? Are we talking about three men here, because no woman would act like this!

I mean that concept is preposterous. It is not as if they live in a time where polygamy was widespread. Therefore, they definitely would not accept such a concept easily.  :'(

This is one of the many places you could tell a male wrote this book. :-*

 

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Since this OP of this thread is basically a repeat of a couple of other posts by Niss on two other threads, I figured I might as well repeat my reply, and post it here, also. :)

 

Lets not forget that there is very large group and culture of people ((known as the Aiel)) where not only is polygamy common, but also an intergral part of their society.

Before the three of them bonded to Rand using the one power, there was quite a bit of thoughts among themselves as to whether or not that they would be willing to share Rand with the others. However, after spending enough time with each other to form a strong & deep bond of friendship, they all realized that they could all still be happy with the three of them all loving Rand equally to the same extent in which he loves the three of them.

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I definitely remember reading something from an interview with Robert Jordan... I wish I could remember where I read it, but it was to the effect that he had once dated two girls at once, with both of their knowledge and consent, and that Rand's situation was based on that.

 

Besides, surely not everybody is equally jealous and possessive of their spouses. Elayne was clearly jealous of Aviendha, as evidenced by the prologue of Winter's Heart, but not enough to kill her or terminate their relationship.

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Also if I'm remembering right the 3 women in question have never spent much time together with Rand as a group. There really hasn't been much time for them to get into a really good catfight over who gets to share Rands bed tonight, tomorow etc. ;D

 

And I don't think Min, Elayne and Avienda are the mad ones. Rand is, 1 women is more than enough for any man in his right mind. :o ;)

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There is no such thing as "a womans natural jealousy or possessiveness"

 

None of the women decide straight away to accept it, we see from all of them how they are trying to learn to like eachother before actually starting any real sharing.

 

Etc.

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He's Ta'veren. Also, some women will do almost anything to have the man they love. Elayne knew that there would be 3 of them (she knew of Min's viewing) and as such has come to accept it. Min knew all along (and also gets the plum deal being with him all the time) Aviendha is Aiel, and 2 or 3 wives is nothing abnormal for her.

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I've engaged in a couple of open/polygamous relationships. In the end they usually end because of jelousy, but that doesn't mean they dont occur in the beginning out of best interest. Recall that the three women have never been forced to live with Rand whilst the other is nearby (cept the thing with Elayne, and there was an obvious claim there).

 

It's perfectly normal--bit rare, perhaps. But normal enough. Human beings can rationalize alot of things.

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Some people believe that we are simply not ALL created to be monogamous. I see it as similar to your sexuality - it is most definitely nature (not nurture), and is simply a case of us waiting to meet someone with like views / opinions. Personally I am monogamous, but i do know people who say quite truthfully that they have equal feelings for more than one person, and couldnt choose between them if they tried, other people say that they couldnt feel anything for someone else whilst they're with their current partner; its all a personal thing.

 

If you think about it, each time a relationship ends because 'there's someone else' we're doing exactly the same thing - being polygamous, but our partners dont necessarily see it that way, and in our society as a rule it isnt accepted. That doesnt necessarily mean its' unnatural or wrong however. If we take it from the natural world as a whole, its' monogamy which is bizarre; very few species of creature mate with one other, for life (as we generally do), normally the male will sleep with many different females, and so on. Our closest relatives (the apes) are like this.

 

 

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While I have myself never been in such a relationship I know a woman who is. She has told me that one of her friends had shown some intrest in her boyfriend and she after a little thought and a long conversation with the other 2 came to agreement that has put all 3 of them under the same roof and shareing the same bed. She said they are happy with the way things are and there is no issue between her and the other woman. They have always been close friends and I think they will stay that way. Both women have had children now and always seem happy. So over all I think that while uncommon Rand situation isn't unheard of and can turn out very well, given he dosen't go insane and pull a LTT at the end.

 

Darth_Andrea

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Nah, not absurdly fictional at all, from where I'm sitting.  But then, I'm in a stable, committed relationship involving three people, so my perspective is biased  ;D

 

[There's very little in the world that's for everybody (Oxygen and water being notable exceptions), but also, there's very little in the world that's for nobody.]

 

I've been sort of delighted to see how well Rand, Elayne, Min, and Aviendha's set-up is working out, really.  It gives me something to refer to when I'm telling people about how my world works. 

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I think this whole relationship is just plain nutty. If you notice the people trying to say otherwise, are either in such an odd position, as the girls or they are men. You know when ever I here someone start saying something about the dangers of smoking or tanning ECT. You always will find one person in the group whose aunt, uncle, cousin, neighbor or friend had a story where it did not apply so they refuse to believe. I would say it is the same here 99% of girls would never put themselves willingly in such a situation.

I actually took this question to my students today and except for one girl, all the girls in my class agreed with me. Theses are 11th graders I am talking about. The boys in the class had a different opinion.  For them the matter was perfectly fine they saw no issue with it. Suffice to say some of their girlfriends were not so happy to here that.

So I still say with the normal girl this could never happen!

 

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All of the Girls except Aviendah were not OK with it. They slowly over the course of the books came to except it. The tower rivers girls were absolutly against it but I think that Egwene would no longer have a problem with it since she spent time with the Aiel. Even Rand after they spent time in his snow cone of love was going to give up his feelings for Elayne because he just assumedthat him and Avi. had to get married but his feelings eventually changed and he is Ok with multiple women now.

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I think that it depends on your culture.  Regardless of moral issues which I am not even going to get into a debate about, in some cultures it is perfectly acceptable and even preferred.  There are such cases in Botswana.

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There is another factor to all of this, one I don't remember ever reading about.

 

We know that channelers live longer than non-channelers. So Rand, Elayne, and Avi are all going to live longer that Min. After Min dies (of natural causes) the other's situation is not at all different from a regular Aiel man and his wives. In fact, Elayne and Avi are already first-sisters, so if one were to marry him, they both would.

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Rand is the one of the greatest taveren in history (only comparable to other Dragons).

There is no way to measure how that will affect the girls.

 

Perrin may wind up with two wives, Berelaine his second. As may Mat, I think he may love Birgitte, too (there was some chemistry between them in a fight in Altara).

 

There is no doubt that throughout history men have married multiple women. So it can happen, though in today's society (especially in the west) it is more rare. but our western society is not the same as the society in Randland though there are many similarities.

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In the real world, I personally would never go for the threesome thing, and I would also try to convince any girlfriend thinking of such a thing to NOT go there - however, in the confines of fiction, I am willing to keep the Suspension of Disbelief meter in the green. Part of this is due to Rand himself.  He is not just fulfilling one prophesy as the Dragon Reborn. He is also He Who Comes With the Dawn and the Caramoor. I also suspect the bonding (while causing some problematic intimacy issues) would actually make them all closer and make them work FOR the relationship, rather than against it. In other words, if you tried to sabatage one of the other girls in some way, I don't think you could hide it in any way. Not to mention Avienda would probably kick said girl's bottom.

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I definitely remember reading something from an interview with Robert Jordan... I wish I could remember where I read it, but it was to the effect that he had once dated two girls at once, with both of their knowledge and consent, and that Rand's situation was based on that.

 

thats what people did all the time at my highschool =/

 

hell, most people hit 3rd base before they were officially "going out" though, and my school got voted "sluttiest highschool in the state" after an incident at one of our dances/cluster ***ks (I avoided these at all costs O.o, but the 2 i went to were just...wrong...)

 

anyways, to my point of normal culture; what about the mormons? they have sister wives and while the united states doesn't permit it they still live it out, even if one of them isn't necessarily his legal wife or however its done.

 

In in Islam a man may have like up to 4 wives as long as he can provide for them.

 

Just saying that while its not normal in our culture, its normal elsewhere. which seems to be a theme in his books 9after all, don't most the wetlanders have the OP's reaction to the situation? you could see that as our response to another culture)

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I'm gonna agree with the general consencious here, that these girls have learned to deal with their situ. Min definatly knows there's nothing she can do about it (through her visions) Aviendha is used to the idea of Sister-wives through her culture, and Elayne has lived with Avi (going through the whole Aiel culture thing) and understood about Min's vision for a long time (has it been 2 years in Randland?). Plus there have been cat fights over Rand (Egwene and Min in the 2nd book, Elayne feeling jealous of Egwene in the 3rd, and Avi feeling the pressure of Rand and Elayne's relationship in the 4th to name a few.)

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what about the mormons? they have sister wives and while the united states doesn't permit it they still live it out, even if one of them isn't necessarily his legal wife or however its done.

 

Need to point this out. We (Mormons) haven't practiced polygamy since it was made illegal. The reason we did initially was because the head of households were dieing left and right, either at the hands of mobs, or because of sickness, and the widows needed someone to help them care for their families. Nowadays, it is as frowned upon by Mormons as it is by the rest of the country. Those groups that still condone it have little or nothing to do with the church.

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I try to be tolerant...but I still want to slap those gals silly for "sharing" Rand.

 

*intoning* it's just fiction *intoning* just FICTION *intoning* JUST FICTION

it's not calming me down, oh well, I tried

 

Look, I'm willing to accept it if Rand is okay with Elayne, Min, and Avi picking up a few extra boyfriends as well, say Perrin and Mat

 

heck, while we're at it, Faile and Tuon can join the group as well

 

Fits of INSANITY!  >:(

look, maybe it makes sense for Avi (I'm not convinced, but since she's grown up seeing it, maybe)

 

but what about Elayne and Min? If you've grown up believing you're going to have a nice monogomous relationship with ONE man and NO other women, you don't just learn to accept that your man loves two other women just as much as you...he's sleeping with all three women! sick

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Just curious -- you guys who are upset about Rand and his ladies, are you also upset about Green sisters with multiple Warders?  I mean, I'm given to understand that not all the Greens sleep with their Warders, but that it's at least as normal to do so as not to. 

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I really don't get why people get so upset about this. If you love more then one person, and they are happy with the agreement, why bring yourself and them grief? Go ahead, knock yourself out with all of them.

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Just curious -- you guys who are upset about Rand and his ladies, are you also upset about Green sisters with multiple Warders?  I mean, I'm given to understand that not all the Greens sleep with their Warders, but that it's at least as normal to do so as not to. 

 

Yes, this bugs me too

 

Actually, while we're on that subject, the Warders seem to take it very well. I don't think I've seen jealousy between an Aes Sedai's warders. They work together very well, and I can only assume they must be friends. They're basically together all the time. very weird  :o

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