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A WHEEL OF TIME COMMUNITY

Ridiculous plot changes you would enjoy


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Shaidar Haran is prowling around the halls and corridors of the White Tower when he encounters Egwene. Smitten, he falls to his knees and offers her his hand in marriage - and just by-the-way, the hand of Geofram Bornhald, Jaret Byar, and anyone else she might like ... on being refused, he becomes a C&W singer, wandering the villages of Randland singing of the girl that got away .... 🙂

Edited by Kalessin
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18 hours ago, CaddySedai said:

I really love the idea of just hijacking other series’ plots but with our people. LMAO.

 

Rand screws up with a portal stone and meets multiple versions of himself including Trolloc-Rand … who is born of a union between a trolloc and an aiel (but romantic like…don’t be weird) who is named Dnar. But the highlight is when he falls in love with a female version of himself and the Dark One just gives up on destroying and remaking the Pattern in his image and becomes good because its too cute and also a bit naughty!

 

Daww.

 

If you want extra credit…what are some other Rand’s he might meet? Lol

Besides the obvious - he meets up with Azog the Defiler and becomes his drinking buddy - there's Rand and the Monolith, where he becomes the Star Child; Rand the Master Chef - with his control of the One Paua: Abalone if you really want to know, and the True Chutney - he wins it every time ...

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1 hour ago, Kalessin said:

Besides the obvious - he meets up with Azog the Defiler and becomes his drinking buddy - there's Rand and the Monolith, where he becomes the Star Child; Rand the Master Chef - with his control of the One Paua: Abalone if you really want to know, and the True Chutney - he wins it every time ...

 

Love all that, nice and punny. 

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16 hours ago, Harldin said:

13 Channelers and 13 Ogier can turn Shadowspawn to the light.

 

15 hours ago, Elder_Haman said:

The Finn are just a bunch of stoned college kids playing pranks.

 

I snorted my Kaf out my nose over these 2!! 🤣

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5 hours ago, Kalessin said:

Shaidar Haran is prowling around the halls and corridors of the White Tower when he encounters Egwene. Smitten, he falls to his knees and offers her his hand in marriage - and just by-the-way, the hand of Geofram Bornhald, Jaret Byar, and anyone else she might like ... on being refused, he becomes a C&W singer, wandering the villages of Randland singing of the girl that got away .... 🙂

 

I'll take him! 😍

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5 hours ago, Kalessin said:

Besides the obvious - he meets up with Azog the Defiler and becomes his drinking buddy - there's Rand and the Monolith, where he becomes the Star Child; Rand the Master Chef - with his control of the One Paua: Abalone if you really want to know, and the True Chutney - he wins it every time ...

 

And Marco Pierre White is the daddy of all the Fades? Light knows, he would scare the brown stuff out of me with one look.

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And then is the Great Reveal where Egwene confesses that her name is actually Omlettewene, much to Gawyn's distress and Galad's outrage - "You lied to us!" (She says her parents tried Scrambled Egwene and Poached Egwene before settling on Omlettewene - but Omlettewene insisted that everybody use Egwene ... as is where is. :) )

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On 9/16/2021 at 4:19 PM, Kalessin said:

And then is the Great Reveal where Egwene confesses that her name is actually Omlettewene, much to Gawyn's distress and Galad's outrage - "You lied to us!" (She says her parents tried Scrambled Egwene and Poached Egwene before settling on Omlettewene - but Omlettewene insisted that everybody use Egwene ... as is where is. :) )

Not common knowledge but she had a older Brother who's name was Egwebenedict 

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Perrin’s yellow eyes allow him to see through ladies clothing. 
 

Mat’s fox head medallion is the Thundercats logo.

 

The ter’anrgeal in Ruindean just blares Creed music. If you can survive “that Tinker song” you come out alive with a dragon tattoo.

Edited by Whittle
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1 hour ago, CaddySedai said:

Lan ends up being killed while Rand is still a very young boy by a notorious gangster and while he is in the care of the Cauthon family he falls into a cave … inspiring him to become the Batman. 

I take it you mean Tam not Lan

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9 minutes ago, Harldin said:

I take it you mean Tam not Lan

Ah you see thats the twist. In my world he never has Tam as family. He ends up with Lan and then has to become the Batman - taking up his fathers role as a combat style protector. 

 

I simply didn’t clarify so someone would call me out and I could get another post out of it. 

 

Gotta get posts in for that proficient level somehow. lol

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Gawyn and the Younglings form a boy band. Elaida is such a fan she even cracks a smile.

 

Tom enters his room in Cairhien and sees Dena dead and covered in gold paint. Sad. 
 

Excessive braid tugging results in a traumatic brain injury for Nyneave that can’t be Healed. The only cure? “More Cowbell”

Edited by Whittle
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Ok here is a kind of serious one that would be bad ass. Moiraine is actually Lanfear and has been from the start. It’s all been her ploy to guide and manipulate Rand so they can rule together. It is finally foiled by her falling into the doorframe ter’angreal in a battle with Aviendha. Her reappearance at the Tower of Ghenji at the end of the series is like a redemption arc. She drilled into the bore and released the Dark One in the AOL. Fitting she plays a part in his demise.

Edited by Whittle
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18 minutes ago, Whittle said:

Ok here is a kind of serious one that would be bad ass. Moiraine is actually Lanfear and has been from the start. It’s all been her ploy to guide and manipulate Rand so they can rule together. It is finally foiled by her falling into the doorframe ter’angreal in a battle with Aviendha. Her reappearance at the Tower of Ghenji at the end of the series is like a redemption arc. She drilled into the bore and released the Dark One in the AOL. Fitting she plays a part in his demise.

Love it, Love it.

 

Lets see if we can’t get a bit more play out of it for the international market.

 

In another surprise twist its actually Mesaana, revealed in a post ending Scooby-Doo reveal. Why? Because then Rand and her have a kid and she finally truly learns how to love a child. 

 

And Rand is actually a young Sean Connery and every death at his hand actually is what makes him the Highlander. 

 

Boom. 

 

Did you see that… like you had your onion of a plot and I made it a super onion. 

 

So many layers. 

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And the Great Mortification of the Spirit, when Lanfear discovers that The Dark One is actually The Duck One, Scrooge McDuck, who has been paying to have them remake Randland into a place where he can store all his ill-gotten wealth. They've been mispronouncing his name for over three thousand years!!!

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6 hours ago, Kalessin said:

And the Great Mortification of the Spirit, when Lanfear discovers that The Dark One is actually The Duck One, Scrooge McDuck, who has been paying to have them remake Randland into a place where he can store all his ill-gotten wealth. They've been mispronouncing his name for over three thousand years!!!

See I think you misread the series. It is indeed the Duck One, But it is actually Fenton Crackshell. Driven mad by the very suit of armor that came to define him. His lust for power slowly corrupted him in the first ever turning of the Wheel and now he wants to reshape the Pattern to his needs. 

 

Blabberin’ Blatherskite, time to die!

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And much to his surprise, on his way to rescue Moiraine, Thom Merrilin is accused by the Aelfinn and Eelfinn of being the Barking Bard, who has been barred from barking - singing, reciting, even meowing are fine, but never barking. Mat starts barking in sympathy. In outrage and almost uncontrollable fury the Aelfinn and Eelfinn throw him, Thom, Moiraine and Noal out ...

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There was no Trolloc attack on winter night.   Mat spiked the punch with LSD then got so high that he forgot.   Everyone freaked out and accidentally burnt down half the village. 

Rand isn't really the Dragon Reborn, so there was no need to leave the two Rivers after all.  After conqueroring the world Rand eventually rocks up to Shayol Ghul and the Dark One and the forsaken are having retro 70's themed costume party.  No one has any idea who Rand is.  The Dark One mistakes Rand for a stripper, turns to the forsaken and says "Dammit I told Granny no red heads!!"

 

 END BOOK 1 

 

BOOK 2 

 

When translating the old tongue to the common tongue H and C are reversed.  So book two is really called "The Great Cu.... *cough* *cough*   Ahem.  Ah,  anyway Book 2 is about Graendal's exploits at the after party.   

 

EPILOGUE

All of the Aes Sedai's greatest secrets are hidden in Verin's 13th Suppository.  Her last words were "Now let that sink in."  🤣

Edited by Rhettles
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On 9/15/2021 at 12:25 AM, Elgee said:

And Marco Pierre White is the daddy of all the Fades? Light knows, he would scare the brown stuff out of me with one look

Marco Pierre White is the original founder of the White Tower.  

The White Tower is White because it was built from bricks of cocaine.  

Gitara Meroso, or "Get Her a Mamosa!" as her friends liked to call her, was just a coked out old bitty who liked to get spacey at royal parties and pretend to tell the future. 

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15 minutes ago, Rhettles said:

Marco Pierre White is the original founder of the White Tower.  

The White Tower is White because it was built from bricks of cocaine.  

Gitara Meroso, or "Get Her a Mamosa!" as her friends liked to call her, was just a coked out old bitty who liked to get spacey at royal parties and pretend to tell the future. 

Verin and Gitara after a hard night partying may have accidently joined the black ajah.  When they sobered up Gitara kept spitting prophecy.  The only place safe to hide the writings was in Verins secret hidey hole.   And that will be why Verin will have an odd gait. In a reprise of his role in Pulp Fiction Christopher Walken will wear a wig and play Verin.  

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