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DRAGONMOUNT

A WHEEL OF TIME COMMUNITY

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Posted

Someone was shaking Sahra and she began to tediously wake up from a deep slumber. There were no windows in their room so she couldn't tell how early it was but her body told her that she hadn't gotten enough sleep. And more importantly, she hadn't heard the bell ringing the wake up time. Even the faint candle light seemed too bright and she kept her eyes half closed. Pushing off the insistant hands groggily, she muttered Fior to go away and stop fooling around. It wasn't time to wake up yet.

 

"It is not Fior", a wry female voice replied and after some serious focusing it made through to Sahra's sleep addled brain who she was. Light, she was in their own room even though Cairma had told her to go to the other room. How had it happened? She looked at the other bed and found Fior gone. It worried her that she didn't know what was going on and what was going to happen.

 

"I'm really sorry for not going the other room, Cairma." Her throat was dry and she had to clear it. "I really was going to but I had to wash here. Then I sat down just for a moment and fell asleep. I don't know why he didn't wake me up. What time is it now?"

 

The night had been getting longer and longer as the moon moved across the sky, and yet, for Cairma, it felt only late afternoon. The hours of rest and sleep during the day certainly helped, but her conviction in seeing this day through kept her on end. And her worry and percieved anger over Fior's and Sahra's actions convicted her in a way she that left little doubt in her actions. She could not doubt them if she was to convince them the error of thier ways and help they move forward. Especially with Sahra. If there was one conversation that night she did not wish to have it would be with her. Males she could handle. Males are single minded and often have straight forward thinking while women are emotional and .. well, seasonally emotional and harder to predict and talk to.

 

She frowned at the door way and then walked in while lighting the candles in the room. Shaking the girl away she left the girl little room to question her.

"Late. Come. We are going to the Infirmary."

 

Almost fully awake now, Sahra winced at Cairma's curt reply. Light, she was late already and Sana would be even angrier with her now. She always tried to be timely but too little sleep had done her this time. Her last comment gave her a pause.

 

"To the Infirmary? But why? Sana already asked if I was alright and I really am." She opened her chest and took out new training clothes. She pulled the pants on under her night gown and unceremoniously stripped the dress off and pulled on her shirt. She wouldn't have time to do the stretcher for her breasts. She always hated it when they bounced around as she trained and it would be especially awkward today. She did not want to pull Sana's attention into her in any way, especially in a sexual way until she sorted out her feelings.

 

Only socks and shoes were left but she had grown to be quick with them. It took only a moment before she was clothed and stood up. "But it's you who calls the shots, Cairma. I'm ready."

 

Cairma stood back with her arms crossed, her brows were furrowed with a disapproving gaze that watched Sahra's non-chalante movements. Did she not care at all? It seems the girl was more worried about her beauty sleep than what she had done that night. Unless she had found some peace in her conversation with Sana, which she didn't notice at all because Sana was a tough study, rare for the boy.

 

"You saw Fior after I told you to not come here."

 

It was a statement, not a question. She did not even bother looking at the girl in the eyes to know that she had guessed right. If the girl had been as upset as when Cairma had first walked into the situation than she would not have questioned this. But the girl had gone against Cairma's orders.

 

"Have you any sense of Honour in you? Any form of sense that would tell you how to properly behave?" Pause. "Do you know how many rules you have broken this night?"

 

Cairma & Sahra

Posted

Sahra had expected anger for meeting Fior and she was very irked with him for not waking her up which would have helped them avoid this added annoyance. Still it was hard to face the woman especially since she knew that her position was already precarious with her. Her next question did stiffen her spine though and she glared Cairma. She wanted to retort sharply but she focused on the Spring and let it fill her and energise her. Better deal with it in order.

 

"I came to only get my things." She refused to feel guilt about flaunting herself at Fior or wanting to affirm that they could still be friends and that he would want her if she just made up her mind. "And if I said something to him, it was only something he needed to hear", she added quietly. "He was hurt. I hurt him and I had to tell him that I hadn't wanted that even though I couldn't help wanting him and still can't. I did not want to hurt either of them. I had no idea that anything like this would happen, that I even had feelings for Fior. But I do and that's why this whole this is so bloody difficult. If it had been anyone but him, nothing would have happened. I care too much for Sana. But do I care more for Fior? I wish I knew." She fed the torment to Spring too but Cairma could see it in her face.

 

"I am not a careless slut. I know that it wasn't right to do anything with Fior until I had broke things off properly with Sana. And I am ashamed. We might not have had any formal commitment between us but we both thought that I would wait for him. I was acting on a feeling and I my lack of self-discipline is not acceptable from a Tower Trainee. And I want to continue training, I want that more than almost anything. The only thing even more important to me is not hurting Sana or Fior any further. I want to do the right thing from now on." If only she knew what it was.

 

"And I know two official rules I have broken, third one that kind of borders a rule break and then code of honour that requires you to do as your mentor says. I made Fior break that code and showed disrespected to you as a Tower Guard. I appreciate your judgement but I still think that you judged wrong in this case. It would have been unnecessary for Fior to be pained over this no matter how it might have made him stronger. Frankly, I don't think that I realised how serious the situation really is until Fior explained it to me. He has always been the more sensible of us two and I am afraid Sana and Aran have spoiled me a bit with their tolerant take on the rules. But any mistakes made by me are not their mistakes." She was quick to defend them. They would not have any blame of this.

 

She faced Cairma steadily. "I want to become a Tower Guard. I am willing to work hard for it and I have so far. This is the only big mistake I have made during my training and I believe I can learn from it and never repeat it again and come off wiser and stronger. If you feel like I am not worthy of staying in the Yard anymore, then it is your duty to go to Ginae and tell her everything. A weak link that could be a threat to the mental and physical well-being of comrades must be removed before she could cause harm in a really serious situation where lives of many are at stake. But then of course a good Tower Guard stonewalls that kind of things and doesn't let them affect their work. So if it ever would come to Fior and Sana having to have each others' backs, they would do it. And that is what Sana and I will be doing. Or would if I am allowed to stay and he is allowed to keep mentoring me."

  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Arie Ronshor
Posted

Cairma listened carefully to the girls words but after the first few sentences the girls excuses quickly became a tirade of nothing, a rant of pent up emotions that had carried over through the night and out on Cairma. Standing there and keeping all forms of emotion from her face as Sahra kept tearing through her words coming up with every possible excuse to any arguement that Cairma may give the girl. If there was enough of an excuse would it be possible for the girl not to be in trouble, thrown from the yard, or light only knows what else the girl may have thought. Either way, Cairma waited until the girl grew silent.

 

"Are you quite done?" Her head cocked in a way that an Aes Sedai would a novice that spoke merely nonsense and drivel. The girl stayed silent.

 

"First. Ever use the term 'slut' in my presense or within ear shot you will find the flat side of my blade on your back side as you leave the Yard. It is never to be used in any form and it insults more than just yourself.

 

"Second, it is not the amount of rules that were broken, but for the reason that they are broken. It is the principle and lack of sound judgement and discipline that you acted on that makes it unacceptable, Period. Admitted or not, if you were given an order, you Obey regardless of emotions. It is the way of the Tower. If you can not take an Order, no matter how your emotions disagree, than you will never reach the Red Cloak and you might as well go back to Fior or Sana say your farewell and leave.

 

"If you are aware of why it was unacceptable than it should have been been easy to act accordingly to the Rules set and sworn upon when being admitted into the Barracks.

 

"However," Cairma paused as she could see the wince in Sahra's eyes. "I will not disrepute the fact that you do have feelings for either Ursana or Fior as it is clear to me that they both care deeply for you.

 

"I have decided not to tell Ginae about this for one reason, and only one reason. The consequences of your and Fior's actions will weigh far more heavily than any punishment that I or Ginae could give you. I could easily see you and Fior removed from the Yard for what you both have done this night. You comprimised not only your own positions within the Tower, but Mine and Ursana's as well. But by doing so, neither of you can learn from this. But as long as you are in relation or intimacy with Fior you will no longer be allowed to room with him. If Ursana, i will have you removed from his eye and place you under different colours of a different Mentor."

 

Cairma's face softened as a small amount of emotion returned to her face, but she still stood back, arms crossed, clearly the superior and the one in charge. This was not a woman-to-woman bonding time, and much to Cairma's dislike it just may be as there was one topic that Cairma would rather not broach, and for which, she will leave unspoken unless nessicary. For now.

 

"Have I truely judged you so wrongly, Sahra? Am I being unfair? Have I been in any of this?"

 

 

 

 

Cairma Vishnu

Tower Guard

Posted

Sahra flinched at Cairma's rebuke for using the word slut. She could understand the principle and the danger of such categories for all women. But the lecture was hardly over. She pursed her lips thoughtfully as Cairma went on to describe the rules of the Yard and orders as one and the same. Obviously the time spent as Sana's mentee and his training with Aran had given her a bit different perspective on that. She would never disobey a direct order unless it was suicidal and utterly stupid but such orders weren't like to come as Tower Guards were well weeded out of bad materials. Still, from Cairma's tone and strictness she was almost certain that she would be kicked out the next day.

 

She bowed her head with relief and shame as Cairma dispersed that conviction and reminded her of possible consequences to herself and Sana. It would be a valuable thing to remember in the future, any mistakes she made would reflect badly on Sana too. She looked up sharply when Fior's mentor began to set conditions for how she could be together with either him or Sana. They were reasonable but she would have liked to argue just because she didn't like the position she was in. She had enough sense to realise that it would just make her situation harder and kept her silence.

 

Glad that the woman wasn't making her to do the choice right there and then, Sahra replied promptly as it was clearly expected. "All of that is fair." She hesitated for a moment before adding. "I am sorry for the risk I... we placed your and Sana's positions. It was thoughtless and irresponsible. From now on I will always remember that all my actions reflect upon my mentor and act accordingly. And I welcome any additional lessons you deem necessary for me."

Guest Arie Ronshor
Posted

Ooc: hehe.. a "cosher" rp... Maybe it's not that easy to slip between Mae and Cairma.. :p

 

 

Cairma regarded Sahra with an impassive expression. Unfolding her arms she thought on the girls resignation and yet questioned if the girl had any reslove. It was one thing to simply admit to wrongs, and obviously the girl had a reserve of emotions that were displayed only a moment earlier.

 

"I do not think there is anything left to teach you tonight, Sahra, but possibly help you deal with the circumstances you have place yourself in now that I have sufficiantly settled the more technical side of things."

 

Cairma could see the allarm in the girl and she could not help but smile. "I may be a Tower Guard, but I'm human too, despite rumours." She paused in thought momentarily and continued, although unsure herself as to why she was offering a hand to help her. "Don't think too much into it, but I know the men you have craving for your attention and it is something you will have to but to serious thought. Radical displays of emotion may ruin a good thing."

 

 

 

 

Cairma Vishnu

Tower Guard

Posted

Listening attentively, Sahra tried to think what exactly Cairma meant with the circumstances. The late hour and too little sleep wasn't helping and she didn't really want to go around guessing now. Fior's mentor would have to tell her straight out or she would ask. But she would not speculate.

 

Sahra didn't smile at Cairma's possible attempt to lighten up the mood but simply nodded. She definately thought that Cairma had been kinder and more merciful tonight than many would have been. She cringed at the comments the Tower Guard continued with but they were very true.

 

"I haven't heard such rumours", she said quietly. "All I know about you is tonight and that Fior holds you in a very high regard." And that was to her a qualification of a special individual. She wasn't trying to score extra points with the woman, just stating a fact. She could have said that she held Sana in high regard too and would have done almost anything to earn his respect, but she doubted Cairma would believe her now. She was too ashamed of her behaviour to do nothing but lay low in his company now. He may have had his women but they didn't mean anything whereas they both knew that Fior did. It was different. And because of that what ever could have been between them was ruined already.

 

"I will think things seriously and thread carefully around them both. Spending as little time as possible with them for a while is likely the best course for now. It gives us all time to think and calm down." It would be painful with Fior because she craved for his company and now the physical closeness they had discovered. With Sana it would be a relief but also cowardice which she didn't accept kindly. She would miss desperately the good time they always had had together.

 

"You mentioned dealing with the circumstances. What exactly did you have in mind? You mentioned the infirmary before..."

Guest Arie Ronshor
Posted

Groan... she thought inwardly as she mentioned the Infirmary. It seemed like a fine idea for her at the time, to instill fear and nerviousness and use that to put the girl properly in her place, but also, she didn't want to have this sort of talk with a trainee. Especially as she had never laid with anouther. How was she to be expected to give counsil on such things when she had never experienced them before.. It was simply ludicrous. Instead of going into some long explination or a need to explain why she felt the girl should go to the Infirmary, or even offer herbs from her own pouch, Cairma only raised an eyebrow.

 

"You tell me, Sahra. Do you feel the need to converse with a Yellow sister? Given the circumstances she would be able to answer any questions that I could not possibly know that answer to."

 

Cairma's question made Sahra blink a few times but then she shook her head. She most definately did not want to speak to any Aes Sedai about these things. She knew something, enough to ask for the herbs and the Yellows could tell her about the dose and how to take them. But that was as intimate as she was willing to get with them. And Cairma wouldn't know the answers? Did that mean that she didn't have any experience of these things? No, of course she did. She was that much older than Sahra.

 

"I don't really have any questions for the Yellows. I just need some herbs and them to tell me how to use them. And if you don't insist me going right away, I will wait till the morning."

 

Cairma nodded, respecting Sahra's resolve in the matter. If the girl wished to deal with.. whatever may happen on her own time and with her own will than that was fine for Cairma. It was a relief to her as she didn't feel qualified enough to help her deal with anything like that. Thank the light..

 

"No, I think that is just fine. Best that I put myself to sleep for the night than." Cairma pondered with a bit of an inner frown. She had a conversation sure with Fior in the morning, one of which she was -still- reluctant to have with him. The time had been approaching, but still, would he be ready to beable to mentally handle it?

 

"You may go back to bed now. Just don't be late for your training. You will deal with your choices on that front then. You do not need to tell me at all, just make it clear with Ursana of what you have chosen. I have already talked with him on the matter."

 

She nodded thankfully when Cairma said that she would head to bed. Obviously she would be released too. And she wouldn't be late; she shook her head firmly to assure that. A look of anguish spread on her face regarding choices before she could suppress it. She hadn't made any final choices but it was evident that being with Sana wasn't an option anymore. Not that it would have been right now anyway since he was still her mentor and even if he wasn't, Tower Guards and trainees weren't allowed to have affairs. She was very curious to hear what he and Cairma had talked about but she would likely never find out.

 

"We will work things out between ourselves somehow", she said in a carefully neutral tone. "Thank you for everything, Cairma and again, I am very sorry. If you will have to get involved with any of these issues again, you should beat me up before everything else." Maybe a good whacking would make her feel better. But she could take care of it by herself too by training herself to exhaustion. "But I bid you good night."

 

"Good Night, Sahra." She smiled, leaving the rest to night to Sahra as she then took her leave of the room. It had been a long night and as the door closed behind her, a deep sigh escaped her lips. The nights within the yard where never dull, and the more and more Cairma accepted this, she could swear that she was growing a little more mature and.. responsible through by it. Bloody hell.. she was no longer a new TG nor a simple blademaster.. and as much as she hated to admit, it was growing on her. On nights like this, it certainly was.

 

Walking away from the door Cairma smiled to herself. All in all it was not a terribly disasterous night, and a good pint of Ale seemed good to her. Maybe Aran or anouther of good fun will put her back into less serious spirits. With that thought she headed to the common room to give her a few hours to relax before she had to wake Fior for a day in the Grove.

 

 

 

Cairma & Sahra

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