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Harry Potter Week: Owl Post Service


Dar'Jen Ab Owain
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Greetings to all!

 

Welcome to the annual Blue Ajah Harry Potter Week. In this thread, you have the opportunity to send messages by way of owl couriers. Aren't they so cute.

 

Your messages can be normal or Howlers (perhaps you HP fans can help me learn what this means). Your messages can be as humorous or as dry as you prefer. The point is to have fun.

 

So please, grab your quill and ink, and write those messages. The owls are patiently waiting to carry them for you.

 

Note that you are able to earn House Points in this thread. Particularly exceptional letters may even be rewarded extra points by me (rubs hands together excitedly).

Edited by Dar'Jen Ab Owain
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First off this is a howler...

 

 

To: Albus Percival Brian Dumbledore

 

RE: Defense against the Dark Art teaching post

 

Headmaster,

 

It has come to my attention that the post for defense against the Dark Arts teacher has become available again. I feel I would be very well suited to the post. Much more so than some of the previous teachers. I mean really, Quirell??? Lockhart?? I digress. I would just like to share my knowledge of the Dark Arts with our students.

 

Thank You

 

Severus Snape

 

 

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Dear Professor Snape,

 

I overhead a recent conversation in St. Mungo's recently and it has come to my attention that you would benefit from the use of the most efficacious Occamy Egg Yolk Shampoo. It is most effective on oily hair and will also condition most effectively without increasing the oiliness of one's scalp. I will have it shipped to Hogwarts immediately. Please consider it a gift.

 

Sincerely,

Gilderoy Lockhart (at least, that's what they say my name is)

Edited by Adella
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Dear Minerva,

 

Last night there was a break in at Greenhouse 3. Considerable damage was caused.Some Muggle plants that Granger had kindly provided were completely trampled, rolled around in and even chewed. The culprit left a small woolly mouse behind. I'm sure you'll be able to locate the perpetrator and make sure it doesn't happen again.

 

Regards

 

Pomona.

 

 

Ps. Horace says he has a potion that will help if you're still feeling a bit woozy.

Edited by Ithillian Turambar
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Dear Professor Sprout,

 

I seem to have misplaced my earmuffs during a recent Herbology. I suspect one of the first years may have taken them, or perhaps a Nargle. Please be on the lookout for a pair of purple earmuffs with a decorative fake Erumpet horn.

 

Sincerely,

Luna Lovegood

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Dear Luna,

 

I believe you left your Quibbler on my stack of books again. This time it began smoking as I entered the Dungeon to attend Potions class. Needless to say, Professor Snape was not happy. Gryffindor lost ten points, and I received failing marks for class today. You really need to consider these types of things before leaving your belongings around anymore. What if I were to get expelled?

 

 

Your friend,

Hermione Granger

 

 

6OhO40g.gif

Edited by Adella
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Little Brother!

 

It has come to my attention that a few years ago, you asked Fleur to the Ball, and in quite surprising fashion. Haha, she says she nearly fainted when you started shouting at her. Her English wasn't very good then.

 

I only bring it up because your pal Harry let it slip that you were gonna pop the big question on Miss Granger. You wouldn't want a repeat of that incident would ya?

 

Well if you are interested, I suggest you go see the Twins. Last I heard from George, they were working on something to, and I quote, "pluck up someone's courage enough to go toe to toe with a troll".

 

I suggest you go heed their advice. We don't want you blundering this one up and shouting at her while you're down on bended knee.

 

Your Brother

Bill.

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Professor Dumbledore,

 

It is come to my attention that, once again, you have found ways to make sure that Gryffindor wins the house cup.  I'm writing to inform you of my displeasure.  It seems you cannot get over your own attitude towards those of Slytherin House.  Your favoritism towards Gryffindor and certain students has been noticed not only by myself, but other parents and students alike.  Please note, that I have sent copies of this message to Minister Fudge, your Deputy Headmistress, and all the House Heads at Hogwarts.

 

Sincerely,

 

Lucius Malfoy

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Dear Mr. Malfoy, 

 

It has come to my attention that you may have some interest in certain collectibles that have come into my possession. I have set these aside into our Special Collection. They are available for your immediate viewing. You will, however be required to provide the code word of which we spoke upon your last visit to Borgin & Burke.

 

Please destroy this missive as soon as you have digested its contents so as to prevent it from falling into Ministry hands.

 

B.

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TO: Mr. Garrick Ollivander

 

From: Godric Gryffindor XXIII, Attorney at Law

 

CC: Mr. Tom Marvolo Riddle, aka "Lord Voldemort" (presumptive aren't we?)

 

This letter as sent at behest of our client, a phoenix by the name of Fawkes that apparently you swindled out of 2 feathers which you used to make wands. You were in no way authorised to use said feathers and our client demands that the one that was issued to Mr. Riddle be returned to us to redress this situation. We are also seeking compensatory damages in the amount of 100,000 gold galleons. We feel this is a more than fair settlement to this matter as if forced to go to court we will ask for a much greater amount and your name will be tarnished due to what is sure to be enormous press coverage. 

 

Our client would also like us to pass along this message: Sqwaaaakkk!!!! 

 

We eagerly anticipate your acceptance of this more than fair offer to end what was tremendous damage caused to our client, as well as the entire  world.

 

Thank you.

 

 

p.s. We will not be asking for the return of the wand belonging to Mr. Harry Potter. Consider yourself lucky that our client is honoured to be part of his legacy. 

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Dear Rita Skeeter,

 

I just read your assassination piece on the Weasely family. Although I am not close to them, they are an old magical family well-respected by anyone of integrity. As for you, you are a disgrace to the journalistic profession. If you can't find facts to back up your claims you make up outrageous lies. Your success is as shallow as you are and when all is said and done, you will not be remembered as a hard-hitting journalist or accomplished author. You will be remembered as a washed-up witch desperate for relevancy.

 

If you want relevancy and fame, I would suggest you begin anew. Return to the basics of journalism. Report facts, not sensationalism. You could be loved or you can continue to be hated. It's your choice.

 

Sincerely,

Cho Chang

 

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Dearest Bellatrix,

 

As you may or may not be aware, my beloved Lucius has been detained by the Ministry. Upon further investigation I have discovered that Muggle loving Arthur Weasley is behind this inquiry.

 

I have kept constant communication with my son. He has ferreted out that all the Weasleys will be at their home over the wretched holidays.

 

I'm begging you sister, kill them. Burn them, torture them, make them writhe in pain. Pay them my grief tenfold.

 

I will assist you anyway I can, just make them bleed for their audacity.

 

Your beloved sister, Narcissa!

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Dear Harry Potter,

 

Dobby has found out about a plan most foul to hurt Harry Potter's closest friends. Dobby wants to warn Harry Potter about the plot but . . . can't . . . say . . . 

 

Dobby is back now, Harry Potter. Dobby had to iron his hands because he almost spoke ill of his family, sir. Harry Potter must warn his dearest friends to be careful, very careful, sir. Their lives are in danger, Harry Potter!

 

Sincerely,

Dobby

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