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Forever Young (Now with More Ire? oO)




spigots or caudrens  

114 members have voted

  1. 1. spigots or caudrens

    • spigots
    • caudrens
    • pie spoon
    • washer woman. shaped washer.

This poll is closed to new votes




(No, it's not a Jay-Z song, just like 'Dream On' ISN'T covering Eminem. Oh, the morons DJs meet! <3)


This was the song in my head when I woke up, so I figured I'd use it for my subject line/inspiration, as had been the case the last couple of days. Yeah, I could never be a themed blog-writer; I like to waffle and meander too much. It's my brain's spite-gift to me - all the wondrous and interesting bits march past when I'm not paying attention enough to scribble them down, and I'm stuck sat here like a goof trying to remember these bits that would have been glorious to share.




I turn around to go to the bathroom; I needed to refill my water pitcher. The second I leave, my brain drifts to a fragment from earlier. I'd dropped an ex-boyfriend I'd spotted on Facebook a line, because I was happy to see his life was shaping up well. When we'd dated in high school, he had recently started dabbling in cocaine; I forbid him from doing it while we were dating, so our relationship went tits-up nearly immediately (considering that my mother OD'd when she was 25 and almost died, I think I'm pretty justified in my 'I don't talk to fucking cokeheads' stance). His next little spookytart was also a cokehead, so they were 'in love' and 'happy' together... hah! And while this was all over a decade ago, I'm constantly amazed to realize that, holy shit, that was over a decade ago. I've aged, he's aged, and life has drifted past us all. He's married and off the coke (thank deity), I'm married and happy for the first time in my life (Happiness™® - est. Dec 2006 ;D), and it pleases me that he is more than amenable in reconnecting to the bits he spurned in favor of drug.


And something tells me that I'm not going to manage more than that today. My brain hurts, my child is grumbling, the TV is especially annoying in its noise output today, and it makes me want to go climb in bed and pull the blankets up over my head. While I sort of kind of need a noise source to function, more than one disables me, heh. Plus, I'm frustrated that all the relevant thoughts I had on this already buggered off, and refuse to break the veil of fog over my mind... which pushes me into the 'want to smash things' end of life, so yeah...


I'll leave it at that; I'm not likely to shake better out if my day is starting off this shit. ><




PS - huggles will get you put on ignore for life. I can't stand pity-seeking people, and I won't have people respond with societal pity-norms. Thanks!


[[radio edit]] Whee, gonna get a full day to myself. Neil's right - if I'm getting this stressed, I need an empty house so I can actually attempt to relax (I can't if anyone else is around, so erm.. yeah.. relaxation what?). Hopefully that'll sort out this anxiety, this ire. Y'know, that, and getting my head to unfunk a bit more. Stupid rogue wandering thoughts...



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