I don't know if I mentioned this before, but I have a huge love and fascination with magic. Not Magick. Although I deeply respect the Wiccan/Pagan religions. I am talking about Gleeman stuff. Card tricks that levitate your chosen card out of the deck. Illusions that Davids Blaine and Copperfield perform well when they want to, or that Criss Angel can make me speechless. An ancient old, wonderful thing. Just the cool ass sleight of hand stuff that Thom performs leaves me all tingly inside.
There was a time when my wife and her old school friend were a lot closer. When she was married to her first husband they took us to a "Cook your own steak" steakhouse. I thought that it was incredibly overpriced and lame. But one thing that Steve, the husband, did was something I had never seen before, He took a wine glass, two forks and a half dollar and made the forks balance off the glass. Nice trick, I was left with nothing to reciprocate, It got my gears rolling and since i worked at a job that had a lot. I mean A LOT of down time, I would pick up a juggling book from the library. Turns out that was lame to me. So I picked up Mark Wilson's complete course in magic. The rest is history.
But seeing David Blaine street magic. That was the beginning. That took magic to so many cool places. I guess for so much of my life I wanted to write. But writing and doing are two vastly different things. Doing National Novel writing Month and failing to finish my grand superhero novel was a bit hard. But writing well. That is more important to me. I tried to wade through the mess that is that near-novel and I don't think I can bear it. My mind cannot come up with style or grammatical structure.
So, I read cool books and practice Passes and Glides. What I dreamed of doing has changed and may be replaced with new dreams. I failed miserably at writing. That is fine. The fact and hard truth I don't accept is that I hated it. Only lying in bed on weekends that I cannot sleep do I let the tendrils of truth seep in my head. I hated the act of writing. I hated more that I was horrible at it. For years and years I had this stupid idea of what the process actually is.
It is work. And I already have a job.