As fate would have it...
As fate would have it....
As fate would have it, my parents split when I was 3, which I don't really remember. I just remember my mom and I all of a sudden living in an apartment, just the two of us. Mom left my dad, cause he was gone to work all the time, which she didn't like. They were married at the ages of 19 (my dad) and 18 (mom), about six months after I was born.
I didn't see my dad much, mainly cause my mom moved us (me, my little brother and sister, and herself) around quite a bit. I had contact with him maybe once a year until I was about 7, then we moved again and he didn't know where. My mom always held me at a distance for the most part. We were very close despite that, don't ask me how. I loved her--and still do--more than she ever expressed towards me. My mom is a very social and almost... flamboyant... person. I'm the polar opposite. I don't really like a lot of social stuff; it makes me tired. I'm not outgoing. I like to keep to myself. I'm calm and practical, though I do have a temper, which I usually don't show unless I'm just furious beyond expression. Our personality differences have been the source of countless clashes between my mom and I. She couldn't understand why I didn't socialize more, why I'd rather read a book on the weekend than go do something, etc. As fate would have it, she also knew just how to send her arrows straight to the heart, knew just what to say that would hurt the worst. When I moved away from home, it wasn't by my choice....
As fate would have it, I've begun to start up a relationship with my dad the past couple years, when I got the chance to go see him when I still lived with my mom, and regularly since I've moved closer to him. I've noticed that our personalities are very similar, even though I've had very little contact with him. I can't help but wonder if that's the reason my mom takes any chance she gets to send an arrow through my heart, that and the fact that my dad and I look almost exactly alike. We're different, too, very much so. My dad is very... macho. That's not to say he doesn't like a sappy song or movie or what have you. But, he doesn't tolerate any hint of a sexual preference other than male-and-female. He's also rather perverted. Neither viewpoints I share. I like him; he's an easy person to like But, I'm coming to realize that we have less in common than I first thought. In addition to the aforementioned viewpoints, he is a huge outdoors person, and always has been since he was a kid. He has very little love for video games and such, technology in general. I'm the exact opposite. I'm not outdoorsy, nor inclined to become more physically "fit", I love video games and technology. The only academic things we have in common is we both like to read (he reads "real world" fiction stuff, and I prefer sci-fi and fantasy), we both love history, and we both like science to a certain degree. I've done some outdoors stuff with him over the past couple years--fishing, hunting, camping, building fence--but I don't like most of it, cause it's just not my thing. He tries to be understanding, cause he wants a positive relationship with his only son, but I can tell he doesn't fully "get it." My little sister (his daughter, not my mom's) is more boyish and outdoorsy than I am. Meaning she'll go right along with whatever outdoor activity--or sport--he likes/wants her to do. He raised her, so she's more like a son than a daughter in her actions.
Another point that embarrasses him a little I think: he can drink alcohol all day long and still be sober enough to walk a straight line and drive and think, while I can't hold my liquor hardly at all. I also like music he feels is not exactly... manly. I'm fine with that--I don't care what the hell he thinks about my music choice, I like it. I don't like his favorite genre of music either, yet I have to listen to it whenever I go anywhere with him. It's country, by the way. Can't stand it, any form. I prefer classic rock, classical, instrumental, etc. As fate would have it, I'm torn. I want to have good relationship with him, but I can't--and won't--change how I am just to please him and make him think more of me. He's a good man, but I'm afraid that he can't accept our differences; he just doesn't have that kind of mentality. I want to be around him, but if he can't accept that I'm different from his expectations, I won't tolerate it. I'd rather not cut ties, but... I don't know. After all, we can only guess as to how fate will have it.
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