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Being Missed = Feeling Special

Aiel Heart



As some of you might know, I am currently in my third week of my freshman year of college. My home is chaos due to the four siblings ( + whatever friends they invited over that day) and three dogs. Lots of chaos leads to lots of fighting. I couldn't wait to get out. Now, I'm definitely not missing the chaos and fighting, but I am missing the people some, but what's making me feel special and happy right now is to know that they're missing me.


My dad and I have never been particularly close. Part of the cause is that we're too much alike and both of us are always really stressed and so tend to be grumpy anyway and rub each other the wrong way. Fights between us were a regular occurrence. A few of them were not long before I left, and I wanted him to not come along to move me into college at one point. I figured he wouldn't miss me when I was gone anyway because either we were fighting or he wasn't home (or at least it seemed that way when I was angry).


Then, about a week before I moved in, he got really really sick, but was doing all of the stuff that needed to be done for me to go anyway. Once I was moved in and they were back home, he called me often in the first week. It might have been because he couldn't do anything because he'd had a spinal tap (he got so sick that he went to the emergency room) but I think he misses me too. I expected my mom to be the one that called almost every day, but it was my dad instead.


My sister and I have also fought a lot in the last year. That was because we both were dealing with rather severe depression around the same time. Now that I'm gone though we are friendlier, though we still have some friendly discussions on Facebook :)P My mom misses me too, but she tends to only text at night to say "goodnight, love you, miss you." My brothers... Well the one that has a Facebook doesn't get on that often, the middle one uses my mom's phone to send messages sometimes, and my mom tells me stories about what my five year old brother said about me that day (today's was "I'm dunking my cookies in my milk just like she showed me!" (yes I really did teach him that)). That little man always makes me smile. I miss all of them a ton


A friend of mine and I have been texting some, and I miss her and wish I talked to her more, but she's double-majoring and really overwhelmed and seems to not have the time. We're planning on hanging on breaks though. She has trouble expressing feelings like "missing" anyway, but I know she misses me. It's just hard not hearing it from her I guess.


This is probably rather horrible of me, but the person I miss the most is my best friend/ex-boyfriend. We've been getting closer again in the last few months, and it's hard knowing that he's not just a 10 minute drive away. I hear his voice on the phone and text him all of the time, and I have a picture of him on my desk that I find myself staring at sometimes, but it's not the same as seeing him right there in front of me and being able to hug him and hear his real voice not his phone voice (it does sound different over the phone!).


He doesn't like admitting that he misses people. He needs to be the tough guy and not be "gooey" (or at least not show it). So that means not "admitting that someone is a big enough part of [his] life that when they're gone it's sad." But last night, just out of the blue, he texted and said he missed me. I just kinda stared at it for a minute :P and I felt glowy inside.


I know that people cared and are there for me and miss me, but it's nice to be reminded. It's nice to know you're important to someone :)



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