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DRAGONMOUNT

A WHEEL OF TIME COMMUNITY
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Clash of Kings, Chapters 60-62

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Basel Gill

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Chapter 60 (Sansa VI): A lot of this is basically just reports coming in of what's happened in the last couple of chapters. Cersei is getting pretty heavily smashed, but she still has her faculties about her. Enough to give Sansa some more pearls of womanly wisdom, or at least what Cersei thinks are pearls of womanly wisdom. I'm not sure how much of what she has to say would be backed up by women in real life, especially ones who don't happen to be power-hungry and halfway to barking mad to boot. When she hears that Joff is catapulting Antler Men into the river, she orders him brought back to the castle. Even Cersei can see how crazy/stupid Joff is! When food is served, is sounds awesome, as usual in this series. More trenchers. Always with the trenchers. If Subway opened shops in Westeros, they'd be swimming in golden dragons. Then Cersei leaves a major bomb, only to turn it into a false alarm. She knows about Sansa's treasons in the godswood! Sansa nearly panics, but manages to keep her cool, and good that she does, since she would have just let Cersei know about Dontos in the first place. All the queen meant was that Sansa is praying to the old gods, and therefore must want Stannis (or Robb) to win. Except she shouldn't want that... turns out Ser Ilyn is really there to kill Cersei, Sansa, and assorted other key people so Stannis can't take them alive. So... Sansa has no choice but to root for the most totally evil family to come out on top. Fun for her.

 

Chapter 61 (Tyrion XIV): You wouldn't think someone Tyrion's size could do so well in battle, but he held his own in AGOT and does so again here. The Imp leads his men out the King's Gate, and tries to send his squire Pod back. Pod can't be dissuaded and Tyrion doesn't feel like arguing the point, so he lets the kid tag along. That's important. He winds up bashing assorted enemies on the way to the Mud Gate.Then it gets pointed out to him that his grand plan to blow all the ships to kingdom come has backfired. Stannis's soldiers on the other side of the river are walking across the water by using the wreckage as a bridge! Which give us one of the best quotes:

"Those are brave men," he told Ser Balon in admiration. "Let's go kill them."
So Tyrion and the others head out across the bridge to engage in armed combat on top of floating, burning flotsam and driftwood. Tyrion does well, but his accumulated wounds leave him without any stregth while he is caught on a wrecked ship heading for the flames, and Stannis's men are fighting someone on the far side of the river. AAAAAAH! No wonder the Hound was scared. Although I don't think even the Hound could have foreseen this crazy outcome. Ser Mandon Moore, the second Kingsguard besides Ser Balon that Tyrion went out into the battle with, offers a hand but then tries to kill him. At the last second, who saves Tyrion? That's right... Podrick! The one guy he didn't want along, the one guy he tried his best to discourage, turns out to save his life. How's that for irony?

 

Chapter 62 (Sansa VII): All the reports coming into Maegor's Holdfast are godawful. Tyrion and Ser Mandon are dead, the Hound is totally missing, the gold cloaks are deserting after Joff left the catapults because Cersei never saw the value of a King inspiring his troops. Tyrion did try his best to get that part through to her, but she isn't a woman easily persuaded. The crazy queen goes off to retrieve Joff, who now has it in his head to shoot crossbows at the desperate souls trying to get into the castle. Sansa manages to get some kind of order among the others in the holdfast, and then goes off to her chambers, and finds... the Hound. Just when you thought he was done with her. He's gotten himself drunk. Sandor seems to have a nasty

. He demands she sing him a song, or he kills her. So duh... she sings him a song. He tears off his white cloak and leaves. Presumably he won't be a member of the Kingsguard anymore. AFter a little bit of time goes by, bells start ringing all over. The battle is won. Dontos comes and delivers the news. He's also quite smashed, so it takes a bit of effort to get it out of him. That battle on the wrong side of the river? Tywin arrived just in time. Now, remember the last we heard from Tywin, Cat figured he was heading for the other end of the Blackwater river? Well, here's what we get. And he brought the Tyrells with him. Oh yeah, remember Littlefinger being sent off to negotiate an alliance with the Tyrells? Seriously, the resolution to the battle we get in this chapter has Chekhov's Gun written all over it. And leading the vanguard was... Renly? Isn't Renly dead? A number of Stannis's people, who had switched sides when Renly died, now switch back. So is Renly really still alive? Does he have a touch of Jesus (or even Elvis) in him? Was he magically brought back somehow? Is this a fully live Renly, or a zombie? Is it even Renly at all? We never hear from anyone who sees his face, just his armor. (I hope they got that gorget fixed after the shadow sword went right through it.) Anything is possible now that magic has entered the series, although I haven't seen anything indicating that either Tywin or the Tyrells would have had access to magic while they were marching to battle. But if a capable fighter of about Renly's build could be found, then his armor could be used in some motivational fakery. It's worth noting that we don't see Renly (or anyone wearing his armor) again for the rest of the book.
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