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From: The Great Game of Thrones Rewatch of 2017

Songstress

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SEASON 2, EPISODE 2 - "THE NIGHT LANDS"

  • Looky there! Another new location on the map... welcome to the show, Pyke.


  • Arya sitting by the stream... we hear water running... she walks away pulling up her pants... OH. That's not the stream we heard.
  • JAQEN H'GHAR! Awwww yeahhhhh.... Tom Wlaschiha is :wub:
  • "A man does not choose his companions. They have no courtesy." No kidding. >.>
  • Arya. Don't poke the caged bear.
  • "A boy has more courage than sense." :laugh:
  • They're after me! No, they're after me! Wait, why would they be after you? :wacko:
  • Yoren has a point! (And it's aimed at your femoral artery!)


  • Tyrion walking along whistling "The Rains of Castamere"... *thumbs up*
  • Varys showing off his spy network YET AGAIN.
  • "You should taste her fish pie." "I don't think Lord Varys likes fish pie." NOPE, NO DOUBLE ENTENDRE THERE.
  • "I'm not Ned Stark. I understand the way this game is played." Burn.
  • "Threaten me again and I'll have you thrown into the sea." "You might be disappointed in the results." EVIDENCE FOR THE VARYS IS A MERMAN THEORY. >.>


  • Cersei reading Robb's terms.... predictably, not so much impressed.
  • "You've perfected the art of tearing up papers." *snerk* ILU Tyrion
  • Tyrion is definitely trying to play it smart, with an eye to making peace with the Starks. Whereas Cersei and Tywin aren't so much about the "making peace" as the "utter destruction" thing.
  • They have not broken Jaime's spirit... which Ser Alton has emphatically demonstrated to him when Jaime MURDERS THE CRAP out of him a little bit down the road here.
  • "You have a deft hand with diplomacy." That's SARCASM, Cersei, in case you hadn't noticed.
  • Sigh... Tyrion is the only one willing to consider helping the Night's Watch here. Respect.


  • And we segue to.... The Night's Watch! And Dolorous Edd, dolorously telling us about how his mother farted when she died. With sound effects. :laugh:
  • Sam wistfully lusting after Craster's wives...
  • You know, Grenn... this conversation is not helping any of you stick to those vows of celibacy.
  • GHOST WANTS RABBIT!
  • I love the way Sam shoos him away like he's a golden retriever or something. :laugh:


  • "What are you doing?" "This is Gilly. She's one of Craster's daughters." "Hello, Gilly. What are you doing?" *snerk*
  • "Yes? She's pregnant? Aaaaand?" Smart Jon is smart.
  • "We can't steal her... she's a person, not a goat!" (Are you sure? She's got quite an overbite.)
  • Sam. Dude. Be reasonable. I know she's female and she's talking to you so you've fallen in love instantly, but you can't just run off with the girl. Do you know how hard Mormont will kill you for that, much less Craster? And it's not like JON has the authority to say it's OK. :rolleyes:
  • Sam thinks he can deliver her baby because... he read about it in a book! *thumbs up*


  • Just watching Dany's crew makes me feel thirsty and hot. It's summer in Phoenix, y'all.
  • Rakharo's horse... with Rakharo's head in the saddlebags. :sad:
  • Yeah... the actor who plays Rakharo left the show... this whole scene is not book canon, but it was a really, really nice touch to acknowledge the Elyes Gabel's departure since recasting would have been too awkward and people really liked the chemistry with Rhakaro and Irri. And it's nice worldbuilding with the Dothraki beliefs about the afterlife.
  • And Irri is just so devastated. :sad:


  • Oh. *sigh* It's Theon. And there's Pyke.
  • And there's the captain's daughter, naked.
  • I just want to hate on Theon for a while.... arrogant twit. :rolleyes:
  • "They say hard places breed hard men. And hard men rule the world." While taking off his pants. NOPE. NO DOUBLE ENTENDRE THERE EITHER.
  • "Try smiling with your lips closed." >.< Ugh, Theon.
  • Aaaaaaand SEXPOSITION ALERT. Let's infodump about the Ironborn while having sex with the captain's daughter.
  • "He'll call me a whore." "I haven't paid you." Whelp. Aren't you just a prince among men? :tongue:


  • AAAAAND it's HBO. Sex! And voyeurism! And look who's watching the watcher! That's our Littlefinger.
  • Love the way Littlefinger snaps his fingers to call his employees. :rolleyes:
  • Ahh, Roz... there's no room for grieving in the flesh peddling business.
  • "That was.. poorly handled." Yeah. You think?
  • Littlefinger's threats are so very understated and terrifying.
  • Roz, let me quote Ned Stark's words for you. "We've come to a dangerous place."
  • Be happy. Or else. Got it.


  • PODRICK SIGHTING!
  • Ahahah, yessss! I do love how Tyrion handles Janos Slynt.
  • "Maybe I'll hire this cook of yours." "Wars have been started for less." Do not threaten Tyrion with the loss of his personal chef. He may be short, but he loves his food.
  • See, Tyrion knows Cersei is capable of commanding the slaughter of Robert's bastards. :dry:
  • "The man was a traitor. He tried to buy my loyalty." "The fool! He had no idea you were already bought." *nod* Point to Tyrion.
  • "I'm not questioning your honor, Lord Janos. I'm denying it exists." HA. Another point to Tyrion.
  • Hey, Mormont was requesting they send more men to the Wall.... Janos Slynt, probably no worse than most of the ones they pick up in King's Landing.
  • "I hope you enjoy the Wall. I found it surprisingly beautiful, in a brutal, horribly uncomfortable sort of way."
  • Bronn as the new commander of the City Watch is eh... simplified storyline, using an existing character *shrug*


  • Hot Pie mistaking a street fight for seeing a battle :laugh:
  • "How'd you know he was a knight?" "Well... because he had armor on." *snerk*
  • "You don't have to be a knight to buy armor. Any idiot can buy armor." "How d'you know that?" "Because I sold armor." *double snerk*
  • "You shouldn't insult people who are bigger than you." "Then I wouldn't get to insult anyone!" :laugh:
  • :wub: Gendry and Arya. Yeah, I ship it.
  • "Do not call me m'lady!" "As m'lady commands!" *shove* ROFL.


  • Ahhh, Theon. Nobody's impressed by your homecoming.
  • Every word Theon says to Yara just comes with a *waggling eyebrows* emote. >.>
  • Yeahhhhhh Theon... stop groping your sister. >.<
  • "You can tell your grandchildren about this night." "I don't imagine it will be a story fit for children." *snerk*
  • And we meet Balon Greyjoy... who immediately starts getting under Theon's skin.
  • Theon has forgotten so much of what it means to be an Iron Islander.
  • "My fears have come true. The Starks have made you theirs." We should all be so lucky.
  • Ahaha, that realization on Theon's face when he realizes he was hitting on his older sister... Dude. You're a dog. You deserved that.
  • Theon wants so badly to belong, to be respected for who he has become... *sigh*


  • Davos! :wub: I do love Davos. Liam Cunningham is a great Davos. *nodnod*
  • I'm not entirely sure why they're walking along the beach to have this meeting with Salladhor Saan, but okay...
  • Salla's all "Ehhhh, I don't know about this whole going to war with you thing. Doesn't seem to be any good reason for me to do it. All right, I'll do it, but only if you promise that if we win, I get to have sex with Cersei." I dunno, dude. You don't look like a Lannister, I don't think you're her type.
  • Matthos is not impressed with Salladhor's lack of proper motivation. :dry:
  • OK, we have a navy! Let's do this war thing!
  • Pretty sure Ser Davos and his family were all worshipers of the Seven until Melisandre came, which was very recent... not sure how they retcon Matthos into praying to the Lord of Light as a child. Unless he was praying to the Seven, but then suddenly he converted? *shrug*


  • Power struggle between Cersei and Tyrion... :unsure:
  • "Ehehehe, the people. Do you think I care?" ..... :mellow:
  • There's that thing again about Joffrey ordering the slaughter of Robert's bastards. MEH.
  • Cersei is obviously the only one who bears the burden of the responsibility of ruling! :rolleyes:
  • "It's all fallen on me." "As has Jaime, repeatedly..." *snerk*
  • And there Cersei goes with that whole blaming Tyrion for killing their mother in childbirth thing. So stupidly unfair.
  • EMOTICON LIMIT REACHED YET AGAIN! *muttermuttermutter*


  • This map table is just so cool.
  • Melisandre standing there giving Stannis this smoldering look.........
  • "Leave us." Davos is all >.> okayyyyyyyyy
  • Melisandre telling Matthos how he's gonna die. *shudders*
  • You're troubled, my king. Let me get naked.
  • "I cannot defeat my brother in the field." So we'll find another way.
  • "I have a wife" "She's given you nothing" DID YOU FORGET ABOUT SHIREEN'S EXISTENCE? :P
  • I will give you a son, my king.... it'll be a shadow demon assassin, but sure!
  • That just looks (and sounds)... uncomfortable.


  • It's Craster and a baby! Let's follow him! What could possibly go wrong?
  • You know, that whole wearing all black thing doesn't do you any favors for being unseen in the snow.
  • Creepy noises and crying baby... well that's not good.
  • Speaking of "not good".... *hard thump on the skull*
  • Aaaaaaaaaaand we black out.

 

Yeahhhhhhh, not getting 5 episodes in today. Shall we see if I can do the rest of season 2 tomorrow? OPTIMISM!!!

 


Source: The Great Game of Thrones Rewatch of 2017



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