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From: The Great Game of Thrones Rewatch of 2017






  • "You Win or You Die", in which Ned naively expects Cersei to do what he thinks is the right thing, King Robert loses his battle against pork, Jon gets groomed for command, Daenerys has a battle of wits with a Sicilian when death is on the line, and more full frontal male nudity ensues. AND SO IT BEGINS.

  • Trumpets! And a sea of red tents and banners! The Lannisters are mobilized for battle... *shudders*
  • Here we have Lord Tywin skinning a stag (symbolism!) while dressing down Jaime for attacking Ned Stark...
  • "Are you going to say something clever? Go on, say something clever." Apparently Jaime cannot perform on command with the dry wit. Tyrion would have been able to come up with something snarky, I'm certain. :wink:
  • And then Tywin questions why Jaime let his sense of "honor" keep him from killing Ned Stark if he was going to attack him in the first place. This is an interesting point... Jaime looked like he was having a grand time fighting Ned, until his guardsman speared his leg. Then it was all "bah, now it's too easy. Never mind."
  • "I could care less what anyone thinks of me." "No, that's what you want people to think of you." Tywin might have a good idea what his son's all about there.
  • Jaime's looking less and less blonde by the episode. :tongue:
  • Tywin is such an interesting man, with how he cares so deeply about not looking weak to the other houses that he starts a war to rescue the son he'd rather do away with.
  • Jaime doesn't look intimidated easily, but his father seems to have the knack for it.
  • Tywin is clearly wanting to find a loophole in this "kingsguard serve for life" thing.

  • Yes, Ned, you should go home. This plan of yours is a terrible idea. :unsure:
  • "I know the truth Jon Arryn died for." Well... you know a secret Jon Arryn knew, but it really had nothing to do with his death.
  • I wonder if Cersei is thinking "wait, I didn't have him killed... I don't think Jaime had him killed... who would have killed him for learning the truth?"
  • "Your brother? Or your lover?" WHY NOT BOTH? :dry:
  • Sharing a womb doesn't make your incest any less creepy, woman.
  • Yes, confirmation that Bran's fall was their fault... (Still not confirmation of everything else you assume they did...)
  • And now Ned's finally figuring out the extent of the dysfunction of the Lannister-Baratheon union. :tongue:
  • Yeah Ned, she's not just gonna run away because you threatened to tell Robert on her. Remember that whole "I was trained to kill my enemies" thing? :tongue:
  • "When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die. There is no middle ground." GUESS WHICH END OF THE SPECTRUM YOU'RE GONNA WIND UP ON?

  • I suppose there would be a good number of children around the average brothel in medieval times, wouldn't there? :unsure:
  • OH YEAH, IT'S HBO. :blink: (Kaylee's mom walked into the room while we were watching this episode, on this scene. Pretty sure that was the last time she was allowed to watch it at her parents' house. :unsure:)
  • "No, no, no, no." :laugh:
  • "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you sound?" Obviously not... but now you're going to let us all watch while you teach two naked women how to fake it better. :dry:
  • Meanwhile, the ULTIMATE IN SEXPOSITION while Petyr Baelish monologues about his deepest motivations to his two newest employees.
  • "What we don't know is usually what gets us killed." True. *cough*Ned*cough*
  • "I'm not going to fight them. I'm going to f$@# them. That's what I know. That's what I am." You are... a f$@#er? :unsure:
  • "What do you want?" "Oh everything, my dear. Everything there is." *starts imagining random things that Petyr wants, under the category of "everything there is"* Peanut butter? Four dozen newborn kittens? Gregor Clegane's underarm hair? A box of rotting turnips? Chlamydia? Be more specific next time.

  • Tonks is doing her chores!
  • Oh, Theon. Why must you be such a twit?
  • I love the way Osha's just so. not. impressed. :laugh:
  • "You're an impudent little wench, aren't you?" "Couldn't say, my lord. Don't know what impunint means." :laugh:
  • Aaaaand Theon trying to try to bribe Osha for sexual favors by suggesting he could get her out of her chains. :rolleyes:
  • Saved by the Luwin!
  • "The lady is our guest." "I thought she was our prisoner." "Are the two mutually exclusive in your experience?" HA! *hi5 Maester Luwin*
  • She's a tough lady. I likes the Osha.
  • Osha talking about the white walkers returning...

  • Segue to Jon and Sam on the wall...
  • "I miss girls. Not talking to them, I never talked to them..." :laugh:
  • Jon's too busy moping to miss girls, Sam.
  • I love the way they work in Sam reading the instructions on how many blasts they blow - one for rangers returning... two for wildlings... three for --
  • Oh hey, Benjen's horse returns, without Benjen. Guess he's got a long walk ahead of him!
  • "Where's my uncle?" Like Mormont knows? :unsure:

  • Renly returns from the hunt, freaking out about Robert's injury... When last we saw the hunting party, Renly was storming off the other direction because he was sick of Robert's bragging about sexual conquests and "Make Westeros Great Again". I guess he didn't stay away for long?
  • Joffrey sitting by Robert's bedside, looking weirdly less like an insufferable twit.
  • "I was never meant to be a father." :sad:
  • Cersei sees Ned enter and is all "Ohhhh crap. Here's where it could all go off the rails." If Ned wasn't more concerned with allowing Robert to die in peace than ensuring Cersei and her children were removed from the line of succession, he actually might have had a chance if he'd revealed it here and now.
  • That is a nasty, nasty wound. >.<
  • But at least I killed the pig who mortally wounded me! Eat him in my memory, will you?
  • Cersei did not want to leave Ned alone with Robert :dry:
  • The Last Will and Testament of Robert of the House Baratheon "fill in the damn titles"...
  • It's a lovely dream, Robert, that Ned would be allowed to rule as regent... "You'll hate it worse than I did, but you'll do it well." *sighs wistfully*
  • "My son. Help him, Ned. Make him better than me." Yeah, that's not bloody likely. He's Hand of the King, not a magician.
  • King Robert Baratheon, murdered by a pig. There's one for the history books!
  • LOL... the Television Without Pity forum posters swore Ned instructed Pycelle to give him "milk of the puppy." :laugh:
  • Ser Barristan, full of regret for being unable to protect him.
  • Varys, pointedly noting the *cough*Lannister*cough* squire being so dutiful making sure Robert had enough to get so drunk he couldn't dodge the boar's tusks. "I do hope the boy does not blame himself." (Let us do the blaming!)
  • "Oh yeah. Don't kill Daenerys, King Robert changed his mind." "Whoooooooops... too late!"

  • (Apparently I have already reached my emoticon limit for this post. I'M TOO MUCH FOR JOO)
  • SEGUE ALERT! Dany braiding Drogo's hair, while trying to talk him into heading over to Westeros
  • I love the Dothraki language use here... expecially since Dany is fairly fluent but still learning certain terms. "The dirts where I was born..." *snerk*
  • Let us speak no more of wooden horses and iron chairs. *nod*
  • The concept of ruling like the Westerosi royalty is just so foreign to the Dothraki way of life. "A king does not need a chair to sit upon. He only needs a horse."

  • Oh well, if I can't get my husband to take me back to Westeros, I'll go shopping in the Western market. Retail therapy!
  • Exotic birds! Random dude doing a handstand! People walking with big plates on top of their heads!
  • Jorah's gonna go get the mail, brb
  • No, no, you can't come with me... might be something secret, like a pardon from the King of Westeros for betraying you and setting you up to be assassinated. >.>
  • Oh hey look, it's the guy who sells beer at the baseball stadium! "BEEEEEEER HEEERE!"
  • Tyroshi pear brandy sounds AWESOME.
  • Oh, you're Daenerys Targeryen? NEVER MIND THIS WINE, I HAVE SOMETHING SPECIAL JUST FOR YOU! IT'S FREE! No, no, don't drink it in front of me. Take it far away where the bodies won't be found until I'm far far from here... i mean...
  • OK fine. You want to poison yourself in front of me, I can still run fast. >.>
  • No no no, I don't want any. I don't... I DON'T WANNA DIE!
  • I love Rahkaro and his whip. <3

  • "You came to us as outlaws... poachers... rapers... killers... thieves..." And you're still a bunch of violent jerks, for the most part.
  • Here on the wall, we are all one House, with insufficient heating and poor insulation.
  • Jon can't be happy, he wants to find his uncle. :P
  • Lord Commander Mormont is inspirational. Too bad there aren't more like him.
  • "The penalty for desertion is death." REMEMBER THIS, JON.
  • I love the fact that Sam decides to take his vows with Jon at the weirwood grove. It's like he doesn't want Jon to go alone.
  • "Jon to the stewards..." Alliser Thorne smirks.... You think it's because he knows how much Jon will throw a hissy fit at not being a ranger? Because we know he had nothing to do with the assignment, Mormont personally requested him.
  • Maester Aemon gives the assignments... "We are sending you to Eastwatch. Present yourself to Borcas when you arrive. Make no comment about his nose." omgrofl
  • And here's Jon's temper tantrum...
  • LOL @ Pyp's story... "I thought you were caught stealing a wheel of cheese for your starving sister!" XD
  • "Could you sing me a song, Pyp?" ahahahaha
  • I adore the fact that Sam understands the purpose in Jon being assigned as Mormont's personal steward, even when Jon is fuming about not getting to live his dream as a ranger.
  • "I always wanted to be a wizard. What? I'm serious!" <3 lolSam

  • Renly plays the game so much better than Ned... he understands what Cersei is capable of and tries to help Ned counter her next move... I think if he hadn't started pushing "I would be a better king than Stannis" Ned might have considered it - or maybe should have. I don't think he raised that angle in the books, actually, and Ned still didn't play ball... but even more so, he should have. Alas, poor Ned. So straightforward and uninterested in playing the game.
  • "Do you still believe good soldiers make good kings?" Point to Renly. *nodnod*
  • "I will not dishonor Robert's last hours by shedding blood in his halls and dragging frightened children from their beds." The TWoP forums swore they thought he said... something other than shedding. *cough* Iiiiiiiiii'm just gonna leave that one alone. Not touching it. >.> Eww.
  • Renly's thinking "Dude. You win or you die. You sure you don't want to win?"

  • Dear Stannis... Your brother is dying, please come back to King's Landing and take over. His wife is a vicious scheming witch, her children are incest babies, and I don't want this job any more. With love, Ned.
  • Littlefinger trying to school Ned in the ways of the game... Ned's not having any of it.
  • You can see Littlefinger thinking "You don't want power? What's wrong with you?" >.>
  • "What you suggest is treason." "Only if we lose."
  • "We only make peace with our enemies, my lord." Well, he's not wrong.
  • Nope! I'm not gonna play your game! I'm going to do what I think is right, no matter who it kills. (And that will be me and most of my family members, as well as everyone who works for me!)
  • Littlefinger is just loving the fact that Ned needs his help and is too honorable to ask outright for him to bribe the City Watch.

  • Jon! And Sam! And GHOST *bark bark bark*!
  • Weirwood trees are such a fun little bit of worldbuilding. Creepy trees with faces and red sap bleeding from the eyes...
  • And here for the first time we hear the words of the Night's Watch vow. It makes me want to salute something.
  • LOL, Jon having to help Sam get off his knees. Nice touch.

  • The wine merchant looks rather uncomfy.
  • His punishment... ngh. Now THAT is uncomfy.
  • "King Robert will never leave you alone." Ehhhh, not strictly true. He's about to leave everyone very much alone shortly.
  • The last Targaryen... Again, not strictly true. But that's another story. ;)
  • Drogo is so tender with her... right before he starts shouting about raping and killing and enslaving everyone in the Seven Kingdoms and destroying all of Westeros. HOW ROMANTIC. >.<
  • OK we go on our murdering and raping spree now... don't forget to bring the naked guy, flopping along at the end of the rope behind Dany's horse! >.>

  • Oh hey, I remember you, Officious Functionary from Episode 3!
  • Whoops, you didn't know Robert was dead? Guess you're OUT OF THE LOOP. Who knows what all has happened that you weren't told about!
  • "All is accomplished, the City Watch is yours." Why Lord Baelish, your trousers are smoldering!
  • I fear Lord Renly got out while the getting was good, my lord. You would have been wise to do the same, if you weren't going to play Cersei's game on her turf.
  • Janos Slynt. Grr.
  • "Joffrey of Houses Baratheon and Lannister"... like any king ever listed his mother's house in his name? Also, NOT STRICTLY ACCURATE. *ahem*
  • ..."Lord of the Seven Kingdoms... and PROTECTOR OF THE REALM." Hey let me say that louder, since you thought that was you.
  • Ahh, poor doomed Ned, laying his trump card on the table and having the table set on fire in response.
  • "Kill him! Kill all of them, I command it!" Sheesh, Joffrey looks frickin' INSANE when he's screaming that. >.> As he should.
  • Ned's still thinking he has the upper hand until the City Watch starts killing his men... and he looks so confused... until Littlefinger explains it all with 8 words.
  • "I did warn you not to trust me." Oh. $#!^.


Source: The Great Game of Thrones Rewatch of 2017



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